On the 21st of June 2007, my best friend killed himself. He shot himself in the head after suffering from depression for what he berkata was 'as long as i can remember'. I'd known the guy from when i was three and i miss him like the devil. He was called Joe Spencer Garrard. But for the last few years he dropped the spencer bit, (his bastard dads name). I grew up with the guy and was with him on the last day. Hence i feel almightly responcible, and i know people have told me there is nothing i could have done but i do. As we grew up together we used to play out in the woods alot, Joe was an out door person, he liked to mess around, we both did. But since he died i feel like my childhood is over and i must grow up. =[ So faithful Fanpop friends, my guts are on display to anda lovely lot.
i am Lost and every hari a part of me wants to not be alive anymore, I have tryed talking to people on Suicide fourums, people who have all expirienced things like this but it just feels like they are regurgitating the same stuff from person to person, im seeing a shrink (docter) about my depression but i wont go on Meds.
I don't know what Nasihat im looking for i suppose what can i do? i just need to vent and if anyone has anything to say, atau advise feel welcome don't feel sheepish, ask about Joe if anda want to i want to talk about him =]
added on Jan11: just found the ulagy that i berkata at Joes cremation. Joes mum came and hugged me on the podium after i had finished. I was choked with tears but its just something i thought i'd put up
" Joe was my best friend.I've known him for 13 years and he meant the world to me. When anyone talks about him I think of stupid ideas, stupid risks and the inevitable consequences. He was a person who didn't have to try and impress others, he could naturally do it.
I feel Joe made his peace with the world and that makes me happy, to know he wasn't angry at the end. I find it impossible to say how i feel about Joe. The words soulmate atau kindred spirits don't seem to describe what we had. We grew up together; we shared plans for the future and memories from the past. Anyone that has that with another should cherish it because it can be taken from anda so suddenly like it was for me and Joe.
I Cinta Joe, so much and I hope he is in a better place now."
i am Lost and every hari a part of me wants to not be alive anymore, I have tryed talking to people on Suicide fourums, people who have all expirienced things like this but it just feels like they are regurgitating the same stuff from person to person, im seeing a shrink (docter) about my depression but i wont go on Meds.
I don't know what Nasihat im looking for i suppose what can i do? i just need to vent and if anyone has anything to say, atau advise feel welcome don't feel sheepish, ask about Joe if anda want to i want to talk about him =]
added on Jan11: just found the ulagy that i berkata at Joes cremation. Joes mum came and hugged me on the podium after i had finished. I was choked with tears but its just something i thought i'd put up
" Joe was my best friend.I've known him for 13 years and he meant the world to me. When anyone talks about him I think of stupid ideas, stupid risks and the inevitable consequences. He was a person who didn't have to try and impress others, he could naturally do it.
I feel Joe made his peace with the world and that makes me happy, to know he wasn't angry at the end. I find it impossible to say how i feel about Joe. The words soulmate atau kindred spirits don't seem to describe what we had. We grew up together; we shared plans for the future and memories from the past. Anyone that has that with another should cherish it because it can be taken from anda so suddenly like it was for me and Joe.
I Cinta Joe, so much and I hope he is in a better place now."
Ok, here it is,
One hari I'm at school, just minding my own biz, and talking to my friends. Then one of my ex boyfriends Friends comes up. Hes all," Hey, heres a note from Robert." So I read it. It read,
If I could have 3 wishes, it would be to have the girl I Cinta back who burnd me, and to have enough money to buy her whatever she wants...
Obvisosly, hes talking about me. We dated last year, now... hes still on my shoulders, like an annoying nuri, burung nuri that won't go away. My friend told him that I wanted to go back out with him... and I don't!
Then...*sighs* then, theres my online boyfriend... hes sweet, charming, and we do things... I've known Robert longer, but my Cinta for him..(online bf) is so strong... we talked with our voices today and I almost screamed...
But the probolm is, is that I'm tring to break up with Robert, but every time I'm about to say it, he gives me a gift atau when I say it, he laughs and thinks I'm joking.. What do I do?!?!
One hari I'm at school, just minding my own biz, and talking to my friends. Then one of my ex boyfriends Friends comes up. Hes all," Hey, heres a note from Robert." So I read it. It read,
If I could have 3 wishes, it would be to have the girl I Cinta back who burnd me, and to have enough money to buy her whatever she wants...
Obvisosly, hes talking about me. We dated last year, now... hes still on my shoulders, like an annoying nuri, burung nuri that won't go away. My friend told him that I wanted to go back out with him... and I don't!
Then...*sighs* then, theres my online boyfriend... hes sweet, charming, and we do things... I've known Robert longer, but my Cinta for him..(online bf) is so strong... we talked with our voices today and I almost screamed...
But the probolm is, is that I'm tring to break up with Robert, but every time I'm about to say it, he gives me a gift atau when I say it, he laughs and thinks I'm joking.. What do I do?!?!
Hi people. well im starting up an Nasihat column for those people who need Nasihat through situations and questions. If anda yourself find your stuck in a problem e-mel my account at dearannie_advice@hotmail.co.uk. this is my special account i use for people needing help. Dont worry anything anda say will never be told to anyone else, thats my promise. If anda dont think anda trust me then send it to my Fanpop account. im here to help those stuck.
please if anda need advice, just try it.
the new Dear Annie
xxxxx
please if anda need advice, just try it.
the new Dear Annie
xxxxx