Episode 8: The Secret Unicorn Club
June 1, 1951
Honey had just finished bringing a train into Cheyenne. She was going to wait for her seterusnya assignment at the station, when she saw a sign.
Honey: The secret unicorn club?
Gordon: That's right, and if you're not a unicorn anda can't join.
Honey: Who would want to sertai your club anyway?
Jeff: Me.
Coffee Creme: Me too.
Honey: What for?
Jeff: He's offering us free things, like Makanan and alcohol.
Gordon: Too bad you're not a unicorn. Leave!
Honey: Fine, I'll leave. But I just want anda to know that this is a dumb idea *walks away*
Passengers: *walking toward station*
Gordon: Any passengers that aren't a unicorn must go around this building to get to wherever it is they need to go.
Earth ponies: Fuck!! *walks around station*
Pegasi: *fly*
Meanwhile, Honey went to meet with Hawkeye, Red Rose, Percy, and Orion.
Percy: I can't believe Jeff joined that club.
Hawkeye: I can't believe Coffee Creme joined too. If only unikorn are allowed, how is this railway going to make lebih money?
Orion: What do anda mean?
Honey: He means only unikorn can go in the station.
Orion: Welp, we're screwed.
Pete: No, they're screwed.
Hawkeye: Uh, sir? How long have anda been eavesdropping on us?
Pete: Long enough to hear that Gordon is fucking things up for our railroad.
Red Rose: Well, that's good enough.
Pete: Now listen, here's what we'll do
But before Pete could discuss his plan, Coffee Creme, and Jeff teleported near them. Coffee Creme looked SICK.
Coffee Creme: Oh, that burger was horrible, and I thought nothing could be worse then McDonalds!
Jeff: Gordon is a terrible cook. He tried cooking hamburgers on a grill, and he did them too well.
Pete: I hope no one got hurt, even though Coffee Creme is sick, but I'm not sure if anda can get hurt from being sick.
Honey: I don't think so sir.
Hawkeye: We gotta stop Gordon from being a asshole!
Jeff: So just like the last three times?
Hawkeye: Yeah, pretty much.
Pete: Ok, well here's the plan.
Five minit later
Pete: What we need to do is hire a new unicorn, and get him to find out about what Gordon is up to.
Orion: Like a spy?
Pete: Yup.
Bartholomew: *teleports seterusnya to Pete*
Pete: This is our new worker, Bartholomew Perfect the 55th. He's british, so don't make fun of him for that.
Coffee Creme: Uh, nopony makes fun of the british at all.
Pete: Ok then. Good luck *walks away*
Hawkeye: Hello Bartholo- lomr- mew
Bartholomew: *laughs* anda don't have to call me sejak my full name. Bart will do nicely.
Hawkeye: Oh, hi Bart.
Bartholomew: Hello. I must say, it shall be interesting working on an Equestrian railway. In the United Kingdom we had nothing like what you've got. Your railways are lebih modern.
Jeff: Thanks. But listen, anda really gotta go to Gordon's secret unicorn club. We need to know about what we're dealing with here.
Bartholomew: Oh yes, of course. What do anda need me to do?
At the station
Gordon: *sleeping*
Bartholomew: Hello.
Gordon: AH, Winston Churchill!! *sees Bartholomew* Oh. Uh, what do anda want?
Bartholomew: I wanted to sertai your secret unicorn club.
Gordon: Oh yeah. Sure. Welcome.
Hawkeye: Ok, he's in.
Pete: Now get ready for the attack.
Hawkeye: Attack?
Red Rose: We're going to kill him?
Pete: NO!! Nopony is going to die!!
Gordon: Haha! Listen to that. The sound of arguing earth ponies.
Bartholomew: Yes, at least we unikorn are civilized.
Gordon: True, true. *drinking beer*
Police pony: Hey!! What are anda doing?
Gordon: Me?
Police: Yes you! It says no alcoholic beverages in the station!!
Gordon: Well I'm not in the station! I'm on the platform, sitting in a chair, with a grill!!
Police pony: anda can't have any of that on the platform. You're underarrest *arrests Gordon*
Jeff: Haha!! Gordon got arrested!
Pete: Yeah, but I wanted to punish him! We gotta bust him out.
Gordon was in the Cheyenne Jailhouse.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hi.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hello!
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Do anda always say the same thing to a kuda, kuda kecil 75 times in a row?
Police officer: Hey, shut the fuck up in there.
Gordon: What did I do?! I start a club, then get arrested for having things for the club, and now I'm getting in trouble for being bothered sejak another pony?!!?!?!?!?
Police: anda were talking.
Gordon: He was talking too!!
Cellmate: Hey.
Police: Hello Bob.
Gordon: What the fuck?
Police: Watch your language loser!
Gordon: anda just told me to shut the fuck up!
Police: No I didn't *walks away*
Gordon: I'm pretty sure anda did!
Police: I never say anything cruel to anypony.
At the entrance of the jailhouse.
Pete: Excuse me. Is there anypony here named Gordon? I'd like to bail him out.
Police pony: That'll be Fourty dollars, and twelve bits.
Pete: *pays officer*
Gordon: *sees Pete*
Police pony: Ok Gordon. anda can go now.
Gordon: Yes! Thank anda *runs away*
Pete: Wait up! *chases Gordon*
Gordon, and Pete soon got back at the station
Gordon: Thank anda for getting me out of there!
Pete: No problem, but anda gotta do me a favor.
Gordon: What's that?
Pete: Get rid of your secret unicorn club. It sounds stupid.
Gordon: But it's great. We have drinks, cook outs, and-
Pete: anda got arrested for it.
Gordon: All I wanted was some peace, and quiet!
Pete: Well all anda had to do was simply ask.
Gordon: Simply asking makes my head hurt.
Pete: Well that's something you'll have to deal with. There are sometimes when anda have to think of others. If anda keep thinking about yourself, you're not just hurting everyone's feelings, but you're also hurting yourself.
Gordon: How so?
Pete: You're hurting yourself sejak getting rid of all the ponies anda care about.
Gordon: And those are?
Pete: Screw it. Why do I even bother to be around you? *walks away*
Gordon: Now I know the feeling *walks away*
Gordon went to everypony
Gordon: I wanna apologize for being mean to you. Can anda all forgive me?
Jeff: No.
Gordon: Holy shit! I just apologized!
Jeff: *laughs* Just joking with anda Gordon. Of course we forgive you.
Hawkeye: anda may be an asshole at times, but deep down, you're a good pony.
Coffee Creme: I still don't understand why anda hate steam engines.
Gordon: I don't hate them, I just think diesels are better.
Hawkeye: Well, let me just say that these steam engines will never be replaced!
Ten years later
Hawkeye: *sees diesels* Great. Ten years ago, I berkata some things that would eventually become a lie.
The end
On the seterusnya episode of ponies on the rails
Bartholomew conducts Hawkeye's train.
June 1, 1951
Honey had just finished bringing a train into Cheyenne. She was going to wait for her seterusnya assignment at the station, when she saw a sign.
Honey: The secret unicorn club?
Gordon: That's right, and if you're not a unicorn anda can't join.
Honey: Who would want to sertai your club anyway?
Jeff: Me.
Coffee Creme: Me too.
Honey: What for?
Jeff: He's offering us free things, like Makanan and alcohol.
Gordon: Too bad you're not a unicorn. Leave!
Honey: Fine, I'll leave. But I just want anda to know that this is a dumb idea *walks away*
Passengers: *walking toward station*
Gordon: Any passengers that aren't a unicorn must go around this building to get to wherever it is they need to go.
Earth ponies: Fuck!! *walks around station*
Pegasi: *fly*
Meanwhile, Honey went to meet with Hawkeye, Red Rose, Percy, and Orion.
Percy: I can't believe Jeff joined that club.
Hawkeye: I can't believe Coffee Creme joined too. If only unikorn are allowed, how is this railway going to make lebih money?
Orion: What do anda mean?
Honey: He means only unikorn can go in the station.
Orion: Welp, we're screwed.
Pete: No, they're screwed.
Hawkeye: Uh, sir? How long have anda been eavesdropping on us?
Pete: Long enough to hear that Gordon is fucking things up for our railroad.
Red Rose: Well, that's good enough.
Pete: Now listen, here's what we'll do
But before Pete could discuss his plan, Coffee Creme, and Jeff teleported near them. Coffee Creme looked SICK.
Coffee Creme: Oh, that burger was horrible, and I thought nothing could be worse then McDonalds!
Jeff: Gordon is a terrible cook. He tried cooking hamburgers on a grill, and he did them too well.
Pete: I hope no one got hurt, even though Coffee Creme is sick, but I'm not sure if anda can get hurt from being sick.
Honey: I don't think so sir.
Hawkeye: We gotta stop Gordon from being a asshole!
Jeff: So just like the last three times?
Hawkeye: Yeah, pretty much.
Pete: Ok, well here's the plan.
Five minit later
Pete: What we need to do is hire a new unicorn, and get him to find out about what Gordon is up to.
Orion: Like a spy?
Pete: Yup.
Bartholomew: *teleports seterusnya to Pete*
Pete: This is our new worker, Bartholomew Perfect the 55th. He's british, so don't make fun of him for that.
Coffee Creme: Uh, nopony makes fun of the british at all.
Pete: Ok then. Good luck *walks away*
Hawkeye: Hello Bartholo- lomr- mew
Bartholomew: *laughs* anda don't have to call me sejak my full name. Bart will do nicely.
Hawkeye: Oh, hi Bart.
Bartholomew: Hello. I must say, it shall be interesting working on an Equestrian railway. In the United Kingdom we had nothing like what you've got. Your railways are lebih modern.
Jeff: Thanks. But listen, anda really gotta go to Gordon's secret unicorn club. We need to know about what we're dealing with here.
Bartholomew: Oh yes, of course. What do anda need me to do?
At the station
Gordon: *sleeping*
Bartholomew: Hello.
Gordon: AH, Winston Churchill!! *sees Bartholomew* Oh. Uh, what do anda want?
Bartholomew: I wanted to sertai your secret unicorn club.
Gordon: Oh yeah. Sure. Welcome.
Hawkeye: Ok, he's in.
Pete: Now get ready for the attack.
Hawkeye: Attack?
Red Rose: We're going to kill him?
Pete: NO!! Nopony is going to die!!
Gordon: Haha! Listen to that. The sound of arguing earth ponies.
Bartholomew: Yes, at least we unikorn are civilized.
Gordon: True, true. *drinking beer*
Police pony: Hey!! What are anda doing?
Gordon: Me?
Police: Yes you! It says no alcoholic beverages in the station!!
Gordon: Well I'm not in the station! I'm on the platform, sitting in a chair, with a grill!!
Police pony: anda can't have any of that on the platform. You're underarrest *arrests Gordon*
Jeff: Haha!! Gordon got arrested!
Pete: Yeah, but I wanted to punish him! We gotta bust him out.
Gordon was in the Cheyenne Jailhouse.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hi.
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Hello!
Cellmate: Hey.
Gordon: Do anda always say the same thing to a kuda, kuda kecil 75 times in a row?
Police officer: Hey, shut the fuck up in there.
Gordon: What did I do?! I start a club, then get arrested for having things for the club, and now I'm getting in trouble for being bothered sejak another pony?!!?!?!?!?
Police: anda were talking.
Gordon: He was talking too!!
Cellmate: Hey.
Police: Hello Bob.
Gordon: What the fuck?
Police: Watch your language loser!
Gordon: anda just told me to shut the fuck up!
Police: No I didn't *walks away*
Gordon: I'm pretty sure anda did!
Police: I never say anything cruel to anypony.
At the entrance of the jailhouse.
Pete: Excuse me. Is there anypony here named Gordon? I'd like to bail him out.
Police pony: That'll be Fourty dollars, and twelve bits.
Pete: *pays officer*
Gordon: *sees Pete*
Police pony: Ok Gordon. anda can go now.
Gordon: Yes! Thank anda *runs away*
Pete: Wait up! *chases Gordon*
Gordon, and Pete soon got back at the station
Gordon: Thank anda for getting me out of there!
Pete: No problem, but anda gotta do me a favor.
Gordon: What's that?
Pete: Get rid of your secret unicorn club. It sounds stupid.
Gordon: But it's great. We have drinks, cook outs, and-
Pete: anda got arrested for it.
Gordon: All I wanted was some peace, and quiet!
Pete: Well all anda had to do was simply ask.
Gordon: Simply asking makes my head hurt.
Pete: Well that's something you'll have to deal with. There are sometimes when anda have to think of others. If anda keep thinking about yourself, you're not just hurting everyone's feelings, but you're also hurting yourself.
Gordon: How so?
Pete: You're hurting yourself sejak getting rid of all the ponies anda care about.
Gordon: And those are?
Pete: Screw it. Why do I even bother to be around you? *walks away*
Gordon: Now I know the feeling *walks away*
Gordon went to everypony
Gordon: I wanna apologize for being mean to you. Can anda all forgive me?
Jeff: No.
Gordon: Holy shit! I just apologized!
Jeff: *laughs* Just joking with anda Gordon. Of course we forgive you.
Hawkeye: anda may be an asshole at times, but deep down, you're a good pony.
Coffee Creme: I still don't understand why anda hate steam engines.
Gordon: I don't hate them, I just think diesels are better.
Hawkeye: Well, let me just say that these steam engines will never be replaced!
Ten years later
Hawkeye: *sees diesels* Great. Ten years ago, I berkata some things that would eventually become a lie.
The end
On the seterusnya episode of ponies on the rails
Bartholomew conducts Hawkeye's train.