Nestled quietly between Denver and the Rocky Mountains lies the sweet little, Podunk town of South Park, Colorado. Sixteen years ago, South Park was the most perfect place in all of North America! Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation! Not to mention the 24-hour ample parking, and the people spouting “howdy neighbor!” But then, there was a disturbance in the “force.”
Fifteen tahun old Liane Cartman got knocked up sejak Jack Tenorman, who already happened to have a girlfriend (who he eventually ended up marrying, but that’s another story!), at the High school’s 21st annual ‘Drunken bangsal Dance.’ Long story short, nine months later, Liane was laying in a hospital bed, pantless, cradling her little bundle of devil spawn: Eric Theodore Cartman, and she’s been raising him herself, ever since.
Now, a mature sixteen years old, Eric was sprawled horizontally across his violet living room sofa. He kicked his Nikes Air Jordan’s off his size 16 feet, stripped his XL crimson baju panas, sweatshirt off, and tossed it over the back of the couch, and wriggled out of his denim skinny jeans, earlier. In his left hand, he clutched the Televisyen remote, and casually flipped through the channels. Click, news, click, cartoons, click, porn, click talk tunjuk ….. SHIT! He stopped at an ancient rerun of the Terrence and Phillip Halloween special, and turned the volume down to five. Eric’s OTHER hand was elbow-deep in a box of cheesy poofs – and not the NEWLY designed box of cheesy poofs … no, the old, retro box from, like, 8 years ago! Cartman’s fave! That box metaphorically contained a bunch of his old memories inside of it. Every few seconds, Eric would dig through the box, grabbing a handful of puffs, and tunjuk them into his gaping mouth – munching and crunching and sucking all the cheetle off his orange stained fingers. Tiny, orange crumbs delicately fell onto his red and white Wellington menanggung, bear T-shirt, and his blue and green plaid boxers, but he occasionally brushed them off, onto the floor. His eyes grew heavy. The large teen let out a well-needed belch, as his young mother walked into the room, wearing a mauve apron over her usual sky blue baju, blaus and scarlet skirt combo. Ms. Cartman ALSO fashioned a faded yellow bandana, and carried a feather duster and a half-empty/half-full can of lemon Pledge. She sighed at the messy sight of her adolescent son.
“Honestly, Eric,” she complained as she picked a pair of Cartman’s dirty underwear off the arm of her sofa, and tossed it into a black garbage bag, like it was a live rodent. “You are sixteen years old! Why don’t anda think about getting a job?!”
The teen just rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
His mother put her free hand on her left hip, waited a beat to see if her difficult teenage son to answer her suggestion, then shook her head negatively and let out a sigh, er- GRUNT as she made a 180, back into the dapur for some lebih cleaning, leaving Eric alone, once more.
A few minit later, the Cartmans’ gray cat, Mr. Kitty trotted into the room, with an artikel of newspaper in her kitty mouth, She creepily crept over to the sagging sofa where a snoozing Cartman was lying. Mr. Kitty quickly and quietly lept onto her owner’s fat belly, and dropped the paper right on his face, waking him up. Eric slowly and groggily sat up and rubbed his tired eyes. Mr. Kitty scampered away, into another room, before eric fully came to and could yell at her, like he always does, after she wakes him up from his hourly power nap. Eric finally picked up the papers and started Membaca the first advertisement:
Classifieds – jobs:
Kenny McCormick Gynecology
1442 Delaney Cir, building #4.
South Park, Co, 16634
NOW HIRING OB/GYN’s!
Eric Cartman was known throughout the town as a fatass. SERIOUSLY, when he walks down the street, people go, “GODDAMN, THAT IS A BIG FAT ASS!!” So, naturally, the first thing that catches his eyes is the easiest thing for him to do ….. atau so he THOUGHT!
“Let me think: working for Poor-Boy, 5 days a week, EVERY week? Hmm ...” he thought to himself. “Well, surprisingly, it pays well, at least … that’s all that matters, right? … AND I get to work with PUSSIES all day, too?!” a grim grin grew over the young man’s face. “Sign. ME. Up!”
Fifteen tahun old Liane Cartman got knocked up sejak Jack Tenorman, who already happened to have a girlfriend (who he eventually ended up marrying, but that’s another story!), at the High school’s 21st annual ‘Drunken bangsal Dance.’ Long story short, nine months later, Liane was laying in a hospital bed, pantless, cradling her little bundle of devil spawn: Eric Theodore Cartman, and she’s been raising him herself, ever since.
Now, a mature sixteen years old, Eric was sprawled horizontally across his violet living room sofa. He kicked his Nikes Air Jordan’s off his size 16 feet, stripped his XL crimson baju panas, sweatshirt off, and tossed it over the back of the couch, and wriggled out of his denim skinny jeans, earlier. In his left hand, he clutched the Televisyen remote, and casually flipped through the channels. Click, news, click, cartoons, click, porn, click talk tunjuk ….. SHIT! He stopped at an ancient rerun of the Terrence and Phillip Halloween special, and turned the volume down to five. Eric’s OTHER hand was elbow-deep in a box of cheesy poofs – and not the NEWLY designed box of cheesy poofs … no, the old, retro box from, like, 8 years ago! Cartman’s fave! That box metaphorically contained a bunch of his old memories inside of it. Every few seconds, Eric would dig through the box, grabbing a handful of puffs, and tunjuk them into his gaping mouth – munching and crunching and sucking all the cheetle off his orange stained fingers. Tiny, orange crumbs delicately fell onto his red and white Wellington menanggung, bear T-shirt, and his blue and green plaid boxers, but he occasionally brushed them off, onto the floor. His eyes grew heavy. The large teen let out a well-needed belch, as his young mother walked into the room, wearing a mauve apron over her usual sky blue baju, blaus and scarlet skirt combo. Ms. Cartman ALSO fashioned a faded yellow bandana, and carried a feather duster and a half-empty/half-full can of lemon Pledge. She sighed at the messy sight of her adolescent son.
“Honestly, Eric,” she complained as she picked a pair of Cartman’s dirty underwear off the arm of her sofa, and tossed it into a black garbage bag, like it was a live rodent. “You are sixteen years old! Why don’t anda think about getting a job?!”
The teen just rolled his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.
His mother put her free hand on her left hip, waited a beat to see if her difficult teenage son to answer her suggestion, then shook her head negatively and let out a sigh, er- GRUNT as she made a 180, back into the dapur for some lebih cleaning, leaving Eric alone, once more.
A few minit later, the Cartmans’ gray cat, Mr. Kitty trotted into the room, with an artikel of newspaper in her kitty mouth, She creepily crept over to the sagging sofa where a snoozing Cartman was lying. Mr. Kitty quickly and quietly lept onto her owner’s fat belly, and dropped the paper right on his face, waking him up. Eric slowly and groggily sat up and rubbed his tired eyes. Mr. Kitty scampered away, into another room, before eric fully came to and could yell at her, like he always does, after she wakes him up from his hourly power nap. Eric finally picked up the papers and started Membaca the first advertisement:
Classifieds – jobs:
Kenny McCormick Gynecology
1442 Delaney Cir, building #4.
South Park, Co, 16634
NOW HIRING OB/GYN’s!
Eric Cartman was known throughout the town as a fatass. SERIOUSLY, when he walks down the street, people go, “GODDAMN, THAT IS A BIG FAT ASS!!” So, naturally, the first thing that catches his eyes is the easiest thing for him to do ….. atau so he THOUGHT!
“Let me think: working for Poor-Boy, 5 days a week, EVERY week? Hmm ...” he thought to himself. “Well, surprisingly, it pays well, at least … that’s all that matters, right? … AND I get to work with PUSSIES all day, too?!” a grim grin grew over the young man’s face. “Sign. ME. Up!”