Umm... I had this thing too... I couldn't create anything good when I was happy, and I thought that constant suffering improves my art. But it stoped, and I couldn't do anything even when I was miserable. If I could choose what is better - to be inspired atau happy, I'd be inspired. Happiness is not inspiration for me. And anda are.. well... miserable. Just don't get depressed too hard, because inspiration can stop but you'd feel bad anyway
I spent 10 years in texas of which most of it was all depressing. I think at those times my paintings and puisi ect was maybe better than now. I think when we are sad atau depressed we dont mind spending extra time doing things. That was my case now when I look back on it all from usa life.
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Maybe it makes anda normal atau maybe anda can feel sorrow lebih intense than other emotions. I hope that helped