Long story short, King Hiromayshelaynaleelarottinjordangin of Anything was my dad's brother's wife's father's brother's cousin. And of course, I was the kegemaran child of our family. (See, what happened was there was this invasion of these evil cannibalistic gummy bears, and I bravely fought them off sejak swinging my Nerds Ropes and capturing them all. After that, everyone loved me, despite my snarkiness.) And so on his death bed, King Hiromayshelaynaleelarottinjordangin whispered "Make R-Pattz King of Anything." (No sexism, see, kings could be male atau female.) And then BAM, he died, and I sat on the throne, counted my money, drank delicious and expensive wine, and had dancing monkeys to keep me entertained.