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anda like my story!??!?!?!??!

This is how I ship my-self with Mello so if that much turns anda off then don't read it XD

It was like when he was joining the Mafia we'd been there for about a bulan and one day, I told the guys to clean up (since I'm a girl and don't like mess). And there were like "What did anda say?" So i told them i was tired of cleaning up after them all the time. So the leader was all like "I'd like to hear anda say that again," and kept coming closer to me till I was backed up on a wall. Then I was just standing there too scared to say anything, so he put his hand under my chin to force me to look at him and was like "What's wrong? Cat gotcher tongue." and he dragged me into the seterusnya room and pushed me on the katil and tried to rape me. So Mello heard me fighting and heard bumping sounds (which was me kicking and him falling off of me) so he ran into the room and fought them off for me and told them "leave her alone if anda want some so bad go out and buy it atau he'd kill all of them" so he grabbed me sejak my wrist and pulled me to his room and threw me at the dinding grabbed my shoulders and was like "What's wrong with you?! How could anda let that happen?!" and I started to cry I was so scared. I lebih afraid of him being mad at me than being raped. So I berkata "I'm sorry, I was trying to fight them off but there were too many." and I looked up, and his eyes got softer. We were just staring at each other for a while then he kissed the tears away from my face one at a time. Then I put my hands on the back of his neck and kissed him and we both slid down to the floor.And after we realized what we were doing we stopped and just stood there for a while looking at each other then he got up and went to the bathroom surprised at what he did. I waited for him to come out but he didn't so I went to his katil and fell asleep.

All done.
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*myself *. *We'd *they *I *I *against a dinding *, *got your tongue that's some. XD
wantadog posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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Thank you. XD
amzel posted hampir setahun yang lalu
 amzel posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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Rawak Jawapan

trainofdoom82 said:
This is fucking terrible

Just saying.

Self inserts are bad enough, but I'm not judging the Penulisan based on the pairing, the style, tone, dialogue, grammar is just terrible.

No. Just no.


anda need to try harder.
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posted hampir setahun yang lalu 
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Agreed
dragonchick posted hampir setahun yang lalu
xFluttershyx said:
:)
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 :)
posted hampir setahun yang lalu 
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Did anda read it?
amzel posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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No.
xFluttershyx posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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Omg XD
amzel posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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XD
xFluttershyx posted hampir setahun yang lalu
mmmpienomnomnom said:
too many words, aru! DX
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posted hampir setahun yang lalu 
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Noooooooooooooooo please it's good! People who read it berkata so!
amzel posted hampir setahun yang lalu
Panda-Hero said:
I already told you, it'rs pretty sweet.
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posted hampir setahun yang lalu 
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and I mean sweet as in awww
Panda-Hero posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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See anda like it! They refuse to read it! I typed it all up and no one wants to read it!
amzel posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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Well,you can't FORCE them to read it.Anyway,I think it's alright.Just improve the grammar a bit.:)
90sfan posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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^She wasn't forcing, she was asking. Forcing would be 'READ THIS atau I KILL MY SISTER'
Panda-Hero posted hampir setahun yang lalu
emimc said:
Awwwwwww, so sweet. Luv da story!
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posted hampir setahun yang lalu 
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Yay. Thank anda :D
amzel posted hampir setahun yang lalu
wantadog said:
That's kinda cool. I'm not much of a DN peminat though...
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posted hampir setahun yang lalu 
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Thank anda And what no grammar naziism(s) XD
amzel posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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LOL if anda want XD
wantadog posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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Take it away! I know one thing though, almoth all those sentences started with "and".
amzel posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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LOL I usually discount that one
wantadog posted hampir setahun yang lalu
TotalDramaDoll6 said:
u should do a part 2! exept no rape. i personaly think it would be better without rape. but its sweet how he rescued u :D
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posted hampir setahun yang lalu 
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XD No rape! anda make it sould funny. And thanks.!
amzel posted hampir setahun yang lalu
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thx :)
TotalDramaDoll6 posted hampir setahun yang lalu
XxKeithHarkinxX said:
TL;DR

._.
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egyptprincess7 said:
*Blinks* It's okay.
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hgfan5602 said:
Rape's not for me.
Besides, anda should post your stuff on True Writers.
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BlindBandit92 said:
Um yeah I am not gonna read a story based on anda shipping yourself with Mello. Yeah no.
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ScaryCatfish said:
Eh.. Try a bit harder, mate. I'm assuming anda like Death Note too. 1 is my kegemaran character.
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