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Jeff Foxworthy is now picking on Michigan.

If anda consider it a sport to gather your Makanan sejak drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all hari hoping that the Makanan will swim by, anda might live in Michigan .

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each tahun because Pellston is the coldest spot in the nation, anda might live in Michigan .

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through April, anda might live in Michigan .

If anda instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, anda might live in Michigan .

If someone in a store offers...
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posted by xxemogirl101xx
6
For people that hate stereotypes.


1. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic

2. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

3. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

4. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

5. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

6. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

7. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

8. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

9. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

10. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

11. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

12. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

13. I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell

14. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values...
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posted by Famegurl754
17
Aries: Trigon?
Reason: I think he is a good Aries. I'm not saying he was born onthat kind of day, I'm just saying this because I think it fit's him.

Taurus: Beast boy
Reason: he can some times be as MEAN as a bull, he can shape shift into any animal. Sometimes he's as sweet as a Mice, but then he's as mean as a bull.

Gemini: Mas y Menos
Reason: It's obvious, THE TWINS!! DUH!! I know Gemini's can be mysterious then happy but these to are probably Gemini's.

Cancer: Starfire
Reason: Cancer's are moody, so I'd say she's very moody sometimes, Starfire is very nice and caring.

Leo: Jericho
Reason: I know...
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posted by Thecharliejay
1
Think
1.    1
Realization. Even though it may seem impossible, the truth is, nothing is impossible. If anda keep thinking it's impossible, then it will be. Have faith
2
Analyze the situation. Create a senarai of "pros" and "cons" to help anda better understand why you're seeking Cinta atau acceptance from this person.
2.    3
Don't worry about things anda can't help. Acknowledge the impossibility as something that is totally out of your hands (ex: marriage, age, sexuality, hang-ups) and know that if something is meant to be, it will be.
3.    4
Don't...
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posted by DramaQueen1020
Sad Stories About AIDS


I found these stories online. These are true stories.

I used to know Josephat and his lovely family of a wife, 2 daughters and a son. He used to live in a town 1,000Km from the city. The town is on the Tanzania Zambia border. He used to come to the city many times during the tahun on his pickup van but when I did not see him for over a tahun I inquired from his cousin. The cousin informed me that he had a motor accident on the Dar es Salaam Zambia Highway. He died on the spot. That was 6 years ago. I had forgotten about him and family till yesterday when I met his cousin...
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I never thought I would be doing a senarai like this because when I do lists based on looks it's on women. As a straight guy, it's easier for me to rank women than men. However, when I put my mind to something I try my best to come through. I had already done this senarai with women and I remember being asked if I would ever do it with men, so here it is. Keep in mind this is all just my personal opinion as a straight guy and it wasn't easy to figure out AT ALL! Please komen but be polite. Also, always komen because I worked HARD on this and during a time I had just had laser eye surgery and...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
7
Researchers in the UK examined lebih than 1000 jokes and placed them before 36,000 voters to determine the "official" 50 funniest jokes of all time.

And here they are:

50. I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'. So I went - and I got it.

49. A meterai walks into a club...

48. Went to the corner kedai - bought 4 corners.

47. So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants, it was Wedgie Kray.

46. I'll tell anda what I Cinta doing lebih than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.

45. I tried water polo...
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We're all familiar with the term damsel in distress and we usually think about a female character that's tied to the train tracks sejak a villain with a curly-q mustache, and has to be saved sejak the dashing hero. I wonder where the idea first came from. We've always seen this with female characters because female damsels in distress have been around since the dawn of literature itself. However, during the mid atau late 1900's, we've discovered that there are male characters that have to constantly be saved as well. What's the term for male damsel's in distress? There isn't one, even though some people...
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I'm bored, so I thought I'd share with anda a few websites online that anda can Rekaan characters! anda all probably have either created characters, like for fanfictions, stories, atau just in your mind, and here are some websites where anda can Rekaan their appearance! atau anda could always make yourself and use it as a snazzy avatar/profile pic, atau make characters from books/movies/etc. that already exist! There are tons of websites out there, these are just a few.
link
This website is sejak far the best superhero generator I've found. Basically anda use it to make your dream superhero!!! (I use it to...
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posted by ilovepenguins
7
1. Let's go somewhere where we have to get really dressed up.

2. Wow, anda did your cuticles.

3. I'll pick anda up early, b/c I really want to meet your parents.

4. Want to hit the outlet mall this weekend?

5. If anda want to tarikh other guys too, that's cool with me.

6. Anjing are fine, but anak kucing are lebih cuddly.

7. Hey, that baju looks really good with those jeans.

8. Carson Daly is sooo deep.

9. How can anyone watch boxing? It's totally violent.

10. I can't wait to see the new Freddie Prinze Jr. movie.

11. Hey, today's our "two months from the first hari we berkata hi" anniversary.

12. Didn't Gwyenth's outfit...
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Part 4 - but still in no particular order

61.
Name: John Hannah (Actor)
From: The Mummy/Sliding Doors
Character: Johnathan/James
Attraction: His scottish accent even though I know he doesn't have it in The Mummy - I still like him



62.
Name: Calvin Harris (Singer)
Attraction: His voice - when I heard I'm Not Alone I just couldn't get enough of it - his voice was just beautiful to me. Alas, he is also Scottish



63.
Name: Jonas Altberg (Singer)
From: Basshunter
Attraction: Well just look at those gorgeous eyes



64.
Name: Mark Strong (Actor)
From: Stardust
Character: Septimus
Attraction: I suppose...
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not sejak me n thnx for readinnnnnnnnnn........♥♥

ll around us, everyday, there are two groups of people that many believe to be different. Not so! Teen-agers and Seniors have a lot in common. If it's accidentally putting their shoe on the wrong foot atau putting their foot in their mouth, there are instances of conduct that are very similar in both groups.

For example:

Both groups like to hang out at fast Makanan restaurants and shopping malls.

Both groups have developed their own "walk."

Both groups like to wear clothing that doesn't fit well.

Both groups seem to have questionable facial hair.

Both...
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posted by alphawhitewolf
16
Ok that's it I'm doing it even if people didn't even wanted me to do it I'm doing it anyways.

Hello everybody welcome to Alpha's bahagian, atas ten senarai (and yes I called it that very unoriginal...) Well I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to senarai some of the worst fandoms of all of history. Oh and before I start this list, but it's pretty obvious that this is my opinion and I'm not here to hurt anyone. So here we go!!!!

10. Beliebers- You're probably wondering why this isn't higher and yes I find these peminat-peminat really annoying!!! This is probably an example of an average crazy fangirl, but I don't...
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posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
1
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are anda really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he berkata that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can anda tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
3
This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern hari issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Cinta atau hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.


A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years lalu were blacks telah diberi the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination...
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posted by xxXsk8trXxx
3
1. Ask your teacher "Is mayonaise an instrument?"

2. Take a drummer's drumstick (or if you're a drummer, than your own!) and poke people with it

3. Ask if anda can try the harmomonica atau the recorder

4. Play Sweet Victory (in the Spondgebob episode Band Geeks) as a surprise duiring a concert. Plan it with others in advance before, though.

5.Purpously forget your instrument. If your teacher asks why, say "My pet alien ate it, than a viking killed him, than it swam in a pool and drowned, than I recovered his body and Chuck Noris beat it up and ate it, than he threw it up and made it into shampoo,...
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posted by MarMar_XigLux
12
“ Killing someone with a spoon is not bad, but I prefer the chainsaw it's faster.”
~ Serial Killer on spoons

You found out anda hate someone. No, not just hate. anda FUCKING hate them. No, not just FUCKING hate them, anda wanna strangle them until their head pops off then shove it down the loo but then it'll go into the sewers and then the police/the fuzz/cops/pigs/gorillas will be like, all, "omfg wutt iz goin on why iz der a hed in me toilet" and then they'll find you're fingerprint on them and be all "haha we fund woo it was it was [insert name here] and then anda be like "omgomgomg" and then...
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Well, I opened up my mailbox the other hari and pulled out a letter adressed to me from some...person named "Kether Smith". And first thing I thought was "Kether.... that's a weird name!" but I opened up the letter anyway hoping that this "Kether" was a secret admierer atau something sending me some money, but insted, the letter berkata (word for word! I'm typing this strait out of the letter!)

Dahlia,
    I know that you’ll want to come looking for me, but don’t. I’m not worth it. anda remember that kalung I gave you? That holds some of my power within it, so it’s okay...
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posted by reb1009
1
The Original Rejection Hotline®: 212-660-2245

Psychiatric Hotline: 973-409-3277

Santa Hotline (Not for Kids!): 772-257-4661

It Could Always Suck More!: 401-992-4050

Bad Breath Notification Number: 631-960-7187

The "Make It 18" Hotline: 772-257-4488

The "Human Resources" Hotline: 786-837-9893

Marijuana Legalization Line: 781-452-0647

How To Keep an Idiot Entertained: 401-285-0696

Outsource-A-Friendship To India: 267-436-5128

(i need to have a longer artical so... lalalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa)

Rebecca Roll: 781-452-2079
1. Smoke a pipe and respond to each point the professor makes sejak waving it and saying, "Quite right, old bean!"
2. Wear X-Ray Specs. Every few minutes, ask the professor to focus the overhead projector.
3. Sit in the front row and spend the lecture filing your teeth into sharp points.
4. Sit in the front and color in your textbook.
5. When the professor calls your name in roll, respond "that's my name, don't wear it out!"
6. Introduce yourself to the class as the "master of the pan flute".
7. Give the professor a copy of The Watchtower. Ask him where his soul would go if he died tomorrow.
8. Wear...
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