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posted by FlufflyHands
Everyone is putting stuff up about Walmart, I was smart enough to think of CVS :D (I made these up on my own with no one elses help btw)

1. Resort the medicine aisle

2. Run around like an idiot until anda are told to stop, once the person who stopped turns around do it again, repeat this process until your told to leave, then run out like an idiot

3. Go up to the cash register and tell the clerk that someone is "poaching" medicine, then run out of the store

4. Take the magazines anda see and tear them to pieces, then go up to the front (were the cash register is) and throw the pieces up the air and...
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posted by OmegaLeader
(Found it on the internet thought it was pretty interesting.)

You call your victim and anda want to confuse them. No laughing atau anything, just a normal voice like someone would call you. Me and my Friends do this a lot.


Script:
You call the person...

Person: Hello?
You: Hello?
Person: Uh, hi. Who is this and what do anda want?
You: What? Oh no no no no no! It is anda who is calling me. Ok, so what did anda need?
Person: No no I didn't call you. anda called me. Wait, who is this??
You: NO! I didn't call you! anda are the one who called me! Now i ask one lebih time who are anda and why did anda call my at this...
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posted by awesomeblossom1
Here's some of my fave "I wasnt that drunk" jokes hope anda like :)
"I wasn't that drunk"
"You saw a ginger girl eating blueberries and screamed 'No Foxface! Not the berries!'"
"You ran into Walmart and when anda heard someone talking on the intercom, anda fell to your knees and said, 'God has spoken!'"
"You grabbed my parakeet, threw it at my sisters piggy bank and yelled, 'ANGRY BIRDS!!!!!'"
"You told me to give anda a ride utama and the part was at your house"
"You asked your girlfriend if she was single"
"You gave a midget a cendawan and yelled 'GROW MARIO GROW!!!'"
"You were cutting open pineapples...
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posted by Jasonfan44
It's an iPod app.

1. Men are 6 times lebih likely to get struck sejak lightning then women

2. On average, adults watch double the amount of TV as teenagers do

3. The first CD pressed in the US was Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA".

4. At the height of its power(400 BCE) the Greek city of Sparta had 500,000 slaves and only 25,000 citizens

5. The state of Florida is bigger than England

6. Approximate number of facial expressions Anjing can make: 100

7. A siput can sleep for 3 years

8. It is illegal for tourists to enter Mexico with lebih than 2 CD's

9. Muhammad is the most common first name in the world...
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posted by Me_Iz_Here
There are a lot of creeps on Omegle. Whether you're just bored, trolling, atau being a creep, anda will definitely run into a pervert on Omegle. So here are some comebacks anda can use.

Stranger: Horny?
You: Yes.
You: BECAUSE I'M A UNICORN!

Stranger: ASL.
You: Sorry, I don't speak American Sign Language.

Stranger: 17 M looking for horny females
You": 85, M, looking for other gay men.

Stranger: Wanna chat with hot girls? Go to "Babesofomegle . com"
You: No thanks I don't feel like seeing whores like you.

Strangers: Wanna fuck?
You: How the fuck are we gonna fuck if you're so fucking far away and I'm not gonna fucking tell anda where I fucking live so we can fuck Rawak strangers.

Stranger: anda like dick?
You: Yes, I do like Dick. He's very nice. I don't get why people make fun of him for his name.
You: anda ARE talking about the person, right?

Other ways are to just repeat the same thing over and over again, atau copy everything they say.
posted by fanfly
A while back I wrote an artikel about link. I've decided to follow it up with a tutorial on how to make icons! They're actually much the same- the major difference is size.

You will need an image editing program. I use Corel Paint kedai Pro but I think most people use Photoshop.

There's also the following online programs but I've never used them and this tutorial isn't necessarily meant to be used with them because I have no idea what these programs are capable of doing.

link
link
link




the Size of Your ikon Matters


Now this part is extremely important and I can't tell anda how many ikon-ikon I've seen that...
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posted by xxemogirl101xx
For people that hate stereotypes.


1. I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic

2. I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

3. I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

4. I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

5. I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

6. I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

7. I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

8. I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

9. I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

10. I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

11. I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

12. I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

13. I'm an ATHEIEST, so I WILL go to hell

14. I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST have no values...
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posted by vlad_todd_fan
This is A TRUE STORY AND IF anda DON'T PASS THIS ON anda DON'T HAVE A SOUL!!!

My name is Chris,
I am three,
My eyes are swollen..
I cannot see.

I must be stupid,
I must be bad,
What else could have made,
My daddy so mad?

I wish I were better,
I wish I weren't ugly,
Then maybe my mommy,
Would still want to hug me.

I can't do a wrong,
I can't speak at all,
Or else I'm locked up,
All hari long.

When I'm awake,
I'm all alone,
The house is dark,
My folks aren't home.

When my mommy does come home,
I'll try and be nice,
So maybe I'll just get,
One whipping tonight.

I just heard a car,
My daddy is back,
From Charlie's bar

I hear...
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link

60. Matthias
59. Thaddeus
58. Asia
57. Ananias
56. Syria
55. Ephesus
54. Esau
53. Mt. Zion
52. An-ti-och
51. King Nebuchadnezzar
50. Macedonia
49. Jacob
48. Moses
47. Judah
46. Abraham
45. Kerith
44. Sapphira
43. Ahab
42. Rehoboam
41. Jeroboam
40. Baasha
39. Mahar-shalal-hash-baz
38. Maale-akrabbim
37. Isaiah
36. Je'ho'sha'phat
35. Ahaziah
34. Queen Athaliah
33. Pastor Eric
32. Zechariah
31. Joel
30. Pastor Ian
29. Jeremiah
28. Brad
27. Abijah
26. Ahijah
25. Uzziah
24. Thessalonians
23. Jerusalem
22. Titus
21. Tabitha
20. Thaddeus
19. Pastor Kerry
18. Tirshatha
17. Dalmatia
16. Simon-Peter-Leaka-tepha-lika
15. Hezekiah
14. Barrabas
13. Tarpelites
12. Demetrius
11. Deuteronomy
10. Exodus
09. Leviticus
08. Ezekiel
07. Gethsemane
06. Mary
05. Gabriel
04. Matthew-Mark-Luke-Johnaliqua
03. Gettah Hepher
02. Kadesh Barnea
01. JESUS
50 Fun things to do in a Grocery Store

1. Ask the produce manager if he happens to have any fresh Oompah Loompah fruit.

2. While holding a cantaloupe directly in front of your chest, squeeze it and smile dreamily.

3. Every time anda turn the corner with your shopping cart, shout “Wheeeeeeeeeeeee!”

4. Go up to the manager and tell him atau her that you’ve Lost your mommy.

5. While waiting in line at the checkout, juggle some lemons.

6. Tiptoe stealthily up and down the aisles – and around corners – with a magnifying glass.

7. While scratching frantically, ask the manager if he atau she has anything...
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1. anda can do whatever anda damn well please.

2. Shave your legs and the razor is never dull from his face.

3. Not only is your razor not dull, who needs to shave at all now?

4. anda can leave bra and other unmentionables in view.

5. anda can slump around the house in any old thing.

6. anda don't having to think about birth control, calendars atau ovulation. Mother Nature can visit whenever she likes.

7. anda can go out and flirt as much as your hati, tengah-tengah desires, without a worry in the world.

8. The toilet kerusi, tempat duduk issue -- need I say more?

9. Free drinks at bars! Men seem to know when you're single and tend to...
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posted by Mallory101
" Watch out for the idiot behind me!"
Moooooove, I'm trying to speed!
If you're rich, I’m single!
0-60 in 15 minutes!
A clean car is a sign if sick mind.
100% Irony Free
Adrenalin is my drug of choice.
Adults are just kids with money.
Baby on bored
HOME SCHOOL. Smarter than ever.
I talk to strangers
I Think Feminists Are Cute!
Keep honking, I am reloading!
Pain is inevitable misery is optional.
To All anda Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
Tennis players have fuzzy balls.
Your honor student deals the best drugs.


The fastest way to a fisherman's hati, tengah-tengah is through his fly
Stupidity is not a crime so you’re...
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posted by thatguywashot
1.Pull aside an unruly child in a preschool Sunday School class and say: "If you're bad in here, you'll go to Hell."

2.A week beforehand, find a member of ACT-UP. Tell him the scheduled sermon is entitled "Why God Sent AIDS to Punish Homosexuals".

3.Put stray Anjing in kot closets.

4.Un-tune the piano.

5.Replace the pianist's sheet Muzik with "Stairway to Heaven".

6.Going through all the hymnals, mark song 666.

7.Find an empty seat, and ask the person seterusnya to it: "Is this kerusi, tempat duduk SAVED?"

8.Toss around a giant pantai ball before service, like at Grateful Dead concerts.

9.Ten minit before it starts, find...
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added by r-pattz
Source: tumblr.
posted by My8thUsername
A/N:Okay, I have seen a lot of these around, so I decided to look through through all of them an make my own senarai of bahagian, atas Five 'Roses Are Red' Poems. Just cause I wanted to. Basically, everything I do is 'just cause I want to'. Except homework.

5.A/N:Best disclaimer EVER! Well, one of them...
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Me no own
So anda no sue

4."Roses are red, violets are blue."
That's what they say, but it just isn't true.
Roses are red, and apples are too,
But violets are violet. Violets aren't blue.
An orange is orange, but Greenland's not green
And pinkies aren't pink. So what does it mean?...
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