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posted by BlackSunshine
Something I got in an e-mail. Still pretty funny. Especially since I've done a few...

1. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, and then act embarrassed when they open sejak themselves.

2. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call anda Admiral.

3. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until anda hear the penny anda dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.

4. Do Tai Chi exercises.

5. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

6. Meow occasionally....
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"We need" means "I want"

"It's your decision" means "The correct decision should be obvious sejak now"

"Do what anda want "means" You'll pay for this later

"We need to talk" means "I need to complain


"Sure...go ahead" means"I don't want anda to.

"I'm not upset"means "Of course I'm upset, anda moron."

"You're...so manly "means" anda need a shave and anda sweat a lot."

"You're certainly attentive tonight." means     "Is sex all anda ever think about?"

"I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!" means     "I'm on my period."

"Be romantic, turn out the lights" means     "I...
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added by blackrose294
added by Ranty-cat
Source: Twitter
added by iamjune
added by SilentForce
added by DeiJambastion
Source: Dei
added by tanyya
posted by Nick16
Why did I get divorced????

Well, last week was my birthday. My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids. I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday. As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special. She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. We went there and she said, "Do anda mind if I goin to the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said. She came out 5 minit later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling,"SURPRISE!!!" while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.
added by Mollymolata
added by shaneoohmac13
I Cinta skirts and dresses. They are so pretty. Every woman walks down looking good in them no matter who they are. I could wear any of those dresses and skirts that anyone from kim Kardashian wears to the skirt that older women wear across the street. I would wear one on a daily basis but there is a problem I'm a man.

Men can only wear trousers and shorts, if anyone sees a man in a skirt atau a dress it is considered wierd atau stupid. But is it? A tinjauan i took on this club of 20 people, 75% berkata yes to say that men should wear womens clothes and still be men and I am one of them.

Most people would...
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posted by shomill
Is it possible to Cinta someone that doesn’t really exist? Think about it. We do it all the time. A boy in high school sees a pretty girl on the other side of the classroom and imagines taking her to a rock concert. A girl dreams of a romantic picnic with the cute guy that just moved in across the street. These people might exist, but the way we visualize them is almost certainly wrong. I’m as guilty of this as anyone. Then, if we finally get to know these people that we’ve fantasized about, we’re crushed to learn that they are not who we thought they were. Why? Because, quite frankly,...
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added by 3xZ
added by tanyya