I wake up. My dreams are nothing but terrible. All there is are the arms, the robotic arms, grabbing at me, sometimes ripping my mouth open and off. Today I don’t know how I will handle it when they appear again. I don’t know if I want to just go numb to the fear atau the pain, atau if I should try to fight back again.

I’m on my bed, again. I get up, again. I’m back to how I was before, again. At least my foot is healed. The lamp is probably fixed now so I might as well try to break out again. I briefly think back to when I broke it into pieces for my brace. It was sharp… maybe I could use it to attack the metallic arms. I’d have to break it again but it wouldn’t be hard.

As expected the meja, jadual is fixed again, as is the wall, and the lamp. After banging the lamp on the ground repeatedly until it bent, then pulling it back and forth until part of it detached, I had a sharp pole in my hand.

Noodles? These… these were called wires… The wires were still in the pole attaching both parts. This gives me an idea. I cut the wires off… and turn, the lamp, on. Instead of light coming out, sparks of light and something that feels like painful… what word do I use? Tickle? That sounds… wrong. It doesn’t feel good. I start to feel like I’m burning up from the inside, stinging all over. I can’t even feel my hand when I turn off the power.

Even after the power is off I can’t feel any part of myself yet. My arms and legs give random… jumps sometimes. It really really hurts, and I really really want it to stop. Can I alih yet? When I try it just hurts again. Is this going to be my life? Every hari I learn something new, and every hari I get hurt. First the Wheel made me fall over and over again, then my foot “Nr…” I don’t want to think about my foot. I don’t want to think about the pain, just stop it.

Just like the last times I have to wait, without moving I have to wait until I know I won’t scream when I twitch my arm atau neck. Ten minutes, I try to move, it doesn’t work, I feel pain. Twenty, the same thing happens. “Enough!”

Strange uncomfortable feelings go through me when I force myself up. I care but I can’t stand not standing anymore. They’re still there so I shake and jump and run until they stop. I feel… bad in my waist. Now at least I get to use the bathroom.

I don’t like using anything in the bathroom. That’s all I have to say about that. I don’t have an immediate plan. What can I do? I can’t escape, so what else is there? I don’t want to keep hurting myself… and I’m alone.

“Why am I alone?” I find myself asking out loud. I don’t think anyone can hear me… anyone but those arms. I had to defend myself this time.

I turn back to the lamp. It’s off now, will it still hurt me if I touch it? Maybe if I just… if I just… Ugh, I can’t remember the word. I quickly put my finger against the pole for a short moment, and pull my finger back quickly. I don’t feel any of the pain this time.

I do it again, this time keeping my finger there longer. No pain comes. After a few lebih times I’m convinced that as long as the lamp is off I won’t be hurt. What will happen though, when I detach the wires from it? Will they shoot out the pain?

I decide to only cut off one for now. I take hold of a wire and rub it against one of the sharp edges of the broken lamp parts. It snaps off after a while, making a small silver light pop at its tip.

“Gee!” I jump back before it can hurt me again. The lamp was tricking me. I can’t be so close to it if I want to cut the wires. I remember the pisau I used to cut the roti before. That should be sharp enough.

I go to the dapur and open the drawer that held the knife. It is there but… it looks small. I need a larger knife. I see a few other knives inside thankfully. One is shaped like a box only not a box… rect… something that begins with rect.

I hold the Rect-Knife, it’s heavy, but also sharp. This should work on the wires. I walk out and get to work. Each wire does the same as the first one did. I feel bad a little. It looks like something being cut off from life… and dying. I killed them. I don’t know why that would be wrong but it feels bad so it must be… I think.

Now I have my weapon. Even if there are a few wires sticking out of the top, the pole is sharp, not too heavy, and long. Will this work? I don’t know when the arms will appear this time so I don’t know if I will be quick enough. Maybe I should hide under the meja, jadual and wait for them. When I think that over I realize that doing so will only make it harder for me to alih my arms if I want to cut the arms.

I feel hungry again. Maybe I should eat. The arms seem to come after I eat. I open the Fridgerator but something different is inside it this time. There is a small house-like object on one of the shelves. It’s circular and has different Warna on it.

I pick it up, maybe this is food? The bahagian, atas is a sort of squishy blue kot in a twisty partner… I think that’s the right word. The bottom feels like paper, is the paper a holder? I pull the paper off. There’s a soft bread-like part under it. I can smell the sweetness on the item, maybe I should eat it.

I take a small bite. It squishes inside my mouth, the blue kot stuff tastes sweeter than the bread. It’s good. I eat the rest of it. Is this normal food? I guess it must be if it tastes so good.

Some of the blue stuff is on my hand. I lick off what I can but my hands are still sticky. I go to the bathroom to wash my hands off. While washing my hands I start to feel bad in my throat, like it’s been scratched. It makes me thirsty so I tip my head below the water to drink it.

I slip and almost fall on to the ground but something cold catches me. “Wha!?” I dart my head around, the arms caught me. “No no no!!” I left my weapon in the kitchen! Why did I do that!?

I spring upward trying to get out of the arm but it grabs my tail, then other arms grab my arms. Why was I so stupid!? I should have kept the weapon with me the whole time!

A small tube is being carried sejak one of the arms. It has a long smaller tube… it looks very sharp. It’s going to stab me- “Deaaaaaaaaa!!” I can feel it going into my arm. It’s breaking my arm, and when I jerk around it hurts more.

The tube is pulled out but I still hurt. I feel like my arm was crashed into sejak a large item. The arm sets me down and lets me go. I try to glare angrily at it but I’m crying too much. I feel weak now. I’m trying to support myself with my arms but they shake, then collapse. I fall asleep, again.

I’m awake, again… I’m not in my bed. I’m on the ground, but the ground is grey and rough. Above me… it’s… it looks nice… beautiful is the word. Above me… it’s blue, and it stretches everywhere. There are white fluffy things in it, and a really bright yellow circle. I try to look at it but my ears close. I force them open with my hands but they start to hurt so I turn away, rubbing them.

When I look around again everything looks odd. I’m not in my house anymore. There is green spikes, small but in a very large number, to my left. Then there is a strange structure. It reminds me of the wheel and the treadmill. There are two rectangles, like the meja, jadual legs, going high upward, with a metal tube across from them. Behind this is a structure with stairs, and a… slide, yes a slide!

seterusnya to those is an upside down V, two of them, with a tube on bahagian, atas of them. Weird grey rope is attached between them, with wood rectangles attached to those. I don’t know what these are called.

I want to see what these do but I feel a sense that I’m outside of my house… maybe I can leave this too. Or… maybe I’m already free? I walk forward, past the structures, and see something meant to block my way.

It’s tall and metal, in stripes that go up like the wood-leg-things, only these are thinner. It is very tall, taller than I am at least. I don’t think I can’t get over it though. I carefully bungkus, balut my tail tightly around one of the… posts(?) and use my feet to climb up, and up, and then I’m at the top.

“Yes!” I smile. There are other houses, I think that’s what they are, they look like they could be but I never saw the outside before. They also have the green spikes around them, maybe for protection. This is my chance. The arms aren’t after me right now.

I prepare to jump down. “NO, STOP!!” someone yells behind me but I’ve already leapt… I’m blasted backwards and land on something soft. My head hurts and I slowly open my eyes and look up. It’s… a person.

He’s very tall, and white-furred like me, but he has black around him instead of brown. He has ears like I do too. I’m… I’m not alone!

I want to ask who he is but instead I… I don’t know why I do this but I bungkus, balut my arms around him. I feel happy… for now at least.

“Uh…” He says. His voice is… it sounds how soft feels… I don’t know if that’s right. I let go. Did I make him feel bad.

“I- I’m sorry, I don-“

“No it’s okay.” He puts me down. I see his arms when he puts me down… they’re very large… very… wide. When I’m on my feet again I see that he’s very much taller than I am, almost twice as tall.

“You’ll learn.” Another voice says. This one sounds lebih rough. I look over seterusnya to him and see there’s another one. They both have tails like I do, and hands, and ears, and feet, but this one is completely brown.

“Learn?” I ask the saat one.

“It’s a lot to talk about.” The soft-voiced one says.

“We have a lot to talk about he means.” The rough-voiced one corrects.

“Wh-who are you?” I finally ask.

“I’m Chowder, this is Mickey.” The rough-voiced one answers. Those names seem weird. What is a chowder? What is a mickey?

“What is your name?” The Mickey person asks. I drop my ears. What is my name? D-do I have one?

“I…I don’t…” I feel sad, not having a name… but… I have people now, they’re with me. atau is this still a dream? I don’t want it to be, I want this to be real. I bungkus, balut my arms around the Mickey one again. I just… want to hold someone I guess. I don’t know why… but for now I’m happy, and I don’t want it to end.