Of course at the time we didn't know about the deal, but after rewatching it I think that that is what she was saying. I thought at the time it was for leaving him with no mother at such a young age.

I was thinking that too! Good job not posting it on the SVP cause that would have givin it away.

Yah, that is what I thought. Even with a spoiler tag it is too dangerous for the people who are just starting the show or haven't seen the fourth season.

Now, knowing what we do, I think she was definitely saying sorry for the deal that she made which disrupted and destroyed any kind of 'normal' life he could have had!
At the time I just assumed it was a general comment from a mother to her son to say sorry for not being around to watch him grow up and teach him the things he needed to know about the world (the non-demony world).

Absolutely she was saying sorry that she made a deal that exposed Sam to YED. At the time I wondered what she meant by it but like em, I attributed it to just general regret. Although it did nag at me a little bit I never was able to come up with an adequate theory for it other than that. I loved that twist though and I think it just goes to show how Kripke really planned his story out.

I do love it when a show is so planned out and tied together that questions are answered seasons after the fans started to ask them! It makes the show even more exciting and fun to watch!

Yes, em- I love that too. It really draws the audience in I think and shows how much effort and love the cast and crew put into a show.

I sincerely didn't think it was because of that when I first saw it. I thought it was dodge that'd she'd say sorry instead of saying, don't forget I love you. I didn't think it was out of dying young, which wasn't her fault.

I totally agree with you Em, but I still need my answer on Croatoan :D

I left an answer to that. =)

Mary never wanted her children to grow up in this life, but as soon as she made the deal with Y.E.D to bring back John, she sealed the contract for her soul, also signing over her children to grow up in a world full of evil and pain. As a spirit, when she saw Sam and Dean in 'home' for the first time since she died, she then realised to the extent of what she had done, of what she had allowed to happen to her boys, and she was extremmely sorry for it, and even though she couldn't change what had happened, she felt as though she needed to apoligize to Sam, for what had happened to him!!
I didn't realise it when i first watched it, i thought she was just apoligizing for the fact that she never got to really see him grow up, and be around for him. But afer seeing 'In the beginning' im now sure that this is the reason!!
Great hint Kripe added there!!

I didn't think it was a deal for her soul. It was a deal for Sam. All she had to do was invite him in. I don't remember her soul being part of it. She also walked right by Dean and went straight to Sam and apoligized to him only.

definitely ♥ ♥

I agree with you entirely, tinkymel! Good question! :DD

Tinkymel is right. In the episode In The Beginning, Mary had actually initially assumed the deal would be for her soul, like the majority of demon deals, but Azazel corrected her. He was it was for access. I guess the demon blood wouldn't take hold in the child if he didn't have a prior deal with the parent.