For the record: I did not write this, I Cinta Twilight and I Cinta Edward. I just found this really, really funny.
I think Stephenie Meyer is an amazing author, and this is not meant to be disrespectful to her in any way.
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Duskiness


Edward leaned toward me, his perfect face inches from mine. His sweet, delicious breath ghosted over my face. His golden eyes glowed with love.


“How do anda like it?” he whispered, his velvet voice purring in my ear.


I couldn’t respond, so dazzled was I sejak his sparkling skin. He shone like a diamond in the sun, a godlike creature before me.


He smirked at my befuddlement, but then his face darkened and he thundered, “Don’t be difficult, Bella!”

I cringed, but he instantly softened, chuckled his bell-like laugh, and leaned toward me again. His cold, pale fingers brushed my cheek. I stopped breathing.


“Come here,” he said, bounding up in one of those blindingly-fast movements I’d grown accustomed to. “I want to tunjuk anda something.”

He led me to a small creek and sank gracefully into the rumput at its edge. I tripped over a pebble and landed on my face in the mud. Edward laughed. How could he Cinta me? He was so beautiful, gorgeous, and perfect. Like the statue of David come alive. Like Adonis, a god, an angel.


Edward removed his shoes and rolled up the cuffs of his jeans, and I gasped at the sight of his white, smooth ankles. Sunlight reflected off his toenails, each an ivory glint of perfection. I’d never seen Edward’s feet before. I hadn’t realized he could be lebih beautiful than he was, but there seemed no end to his beauty.


My hati, tengah-tengah beat madly in my chest, bounced up into my throat, ricocheted off half a dozen ribs, and finally settled somewhere in the vicinity of my kneecap. I collapsed.


Faster than a speeding bullet, Edward had lifted me in his marble arms and cradled me to his granite chest. “Bella? Bella!” he screamed.
“No!”

The sight of his perfect, glorious face so twisted in anguish sent waves of torture through my body. “Edward!” I gasped.


His cold, unyielding lips pressed to mine, but I dared not alih for fear of breaking his control, so irresistible did he find the scent of my blood. I could not menanggung, bear knowing I had caused Edward pain sejak forcing him to eat me. My hati, tengah-tengah fluttered around my kneecap.


The Ciuman done, Edward set me on my feet. Without moving, I tripped over a stick and would have fallen in the stream had Edward not caught me in his iron embrace.


“Will anda answer a question?” I asked.


“Of course, my love, my life, my forever,” Edward said, casually tearing boulders apart with his toes. I watched, spellbound for a moment, before remembering myself.


“I once asked if anda could turn into a bat, and anda just laughed.”

Edward smirked. “Because it was a stupid question. We don’t turn into bats.
Why would we want to turn into bats?”

“But can anda turn into something?”

“Of course.” He stood, stretched, and his baju rose enough for me to catch a glimpse of his sculpted abs above his waistband. I hyperventilated and passed out.


When I awoke, Edward was speaking.


“—for disguise.”

“What?” I asked breathlessly.


“I said, we turn into fruit. It’s great for disguising yourself.” He watched me carefully, to see if this revelation would finally be the one that convinced me he was a monster, that sent me screaming from him.


“Oh.” I said.
“What kind of fruit?”

He looked frustrated, annoyed, euphoric, scared, nervous, grumpy, amused, sleepy, and sad. Like an archangel come down from heaven to bless me with his presence. “An apple.”

“Oh. Can I see?”

Rage colored his features. “No! Why can’t anda understand? I’m a danger to you! I could kill you! I should leave anda forever!” He threw himself ke hadapan and wrapped his arms around me.
“I should go – right now! It’s the only way to keep anda safe!”

Despair settled over me, so thick and heavy I could hardly see.
“No, Edward! Don’t leave me! I know we’ve only been together for three hours, but I want to spend forever with you! Please!”

He pulled back and looked at me, thousands of emotions roiling in his liquid topaz eyes.
“Do anda mean that, Bella?”

“Yes.”

“Very well.”

His perfect, glorious, heavenly face dipped toward me, and he touched his cold lips to my neck. He growled deep in his throat, a sound that traveled up and down my spine like lightning.


Then came a sharp pain. His grip tightened. I gasped his name. My sight dimmed until all I could see was the sparkle of his skin, calling me to paradise.


Then nothing.