anda know, after the fucking disaster that was the live action Attack on Titan movie, I thought about what was some of the worst Japanese movie adaptions from an Anime and game. It was honestly kind of hard. I decided to look at games, since they seem to be fucked up very easily sejak everyone. First, there was the live action Phoenix Wright movie…. and it was surprisingly good. And trust me, I’ll talk about that movie some other time. So, I decided to take a look at a movie that took place two years after the Phoenix Wright movie. It is a movie based on the famous RPG Maker game Ao Oni…. And it has nothing to do with Ao Oni.
So, in the game, anda play as a quiet protagonist named Hiroshi. In the movie, anda follow Shun. Who’s this asshole? He’s just a whiny brat that doesn’t ever shut up. In the game, you’re Friends go into a haunted house after hearing it was haunted. After anda go in, anda are met with the dangerous Blue Oni (Who looks lebih purple than blue, but it’s Japan, so…). Throughout the game, this giant bastard chases you, and anda just have to hide in the best place anda can. It’s like Clock Tower, only instead of a scissor wielding midget, its a giant naked purple guy. And how does the movie follow this? Well, let's find out. Also, before I start, I couldn’t find a good English translation of this movie, so most of my information for this movie are on Wikipedia articles. I know that’s not a good sumber for information, but it’s all I got, so menanggung, bear with me.
So the movie starts with this girl running through a hall while the camera crew tries to keep up with her. She is just running through this house when this boy who I am guessing is her brother is at the door. But, fuck explanations, we got a guy with a guitar. So that boy, who is the girl's brother, decides it’s a fun idea to play in traffic, and then gets killed sejak a car. Well what the fuck were anda expecting? I don’t think anda can just mess around in traffic and expect to live. So after that, this one new character, Anna, is setting Bunga seterusnya to her brother’s grave. Yeah, touching, but no one cares. We got to see a nerd get picked on sejak this one guy. atau so the movie says. So Anna see’s Tukuro, a character from the game, picking on whiny jalang, perempuan jalang Shun. So, after Anna tells him off, they both start talking about this one game that Shun is making. I am noticing a lack of plot in this film. Also, Anna notices that Shun has a scar on his right hand. Everyone, write this down. Write this down on your Important Notes. This is important… Maybe, if the movie bothers to remember it.
So after that, Anna goes home, leaving Taruku to be upset which Wikipedia says “He bullies Shun:. sejak bully, he beats him with a stick. CAN WE START THE FUCKING PLOT ALREADY!? So finally, the movie gets the idea that “Huh…. maybe we should be make a story” and Taruku takes Shun to an empty house, where…. For some reason, Taruku’s Friends are waiting for them, including Mika, Takeshi, and…. Haroshi? Oh, what the fuck! Okay, so he is in the movie, they just made him a minor character! What the fuck! That’s like having a Dragon Ball Z movie and Goku is a cameo. At least DragonBall Evolution made Goku the main character. Here, the main character was demoted to minor character. Fuck you, movie. So anyway, after that, everyone goes inside the house, where the door cliche-ly shuts them all in. After which, everyone’s phone rings at once (Except Shun’s, cause he’s a whiny bitch).
So after that wonderful cliche of a door shutting, a vase then falls over. God forbid a meja, jadual leg breaks. Though, of course, this vase causes Takeshi to nearly piss himself and he runs off so he can hide. I predict this guy will be the first victim. So while the other people were smart enough to stick together, they try finding a way out of this scary house in the middle of the night…. Even though it was high noon when they entered the fucking place an jam ago. So after that, we then find out that Anna joined the group….. Somehow? Anyway, Takeshi is still being a wimp bitch, waiting for the right moment to literally, come out of the closet. So, Takeshi then gets a phone call….. Okay, so let me get this straight. anda already knew that their were problems in this house, and anda were the first one to flip your shit and start trying to find a place to hide. And when anda do, anda didn’t think for a fucking saat that “Hmm, there is a monster outside. Maybe I should turn my phone off”, anda stupid fuck!? Oh, and trust me, he does get found. A blue monster drags him head first out of the closet and attacks him. But not before throwing him into the hallway… for some reason, so his Friends can see him get dragged back in only for him to be murdered. I fucking called it!
So after that, the gang asks Mika about Naoki… Wait, who the fuck is Naoki. But instead of telling them, she does the reasonable thing…. run off into the dark hallway alone when they just saw their friend get murdered. I think that’s the point where anda don’t run off sejak yourself! Also, Shun says how this is so much like his game… Is now really the time to talk about your fucking game. Yeah, their the same. Great fucking coincidence! So after that, Mika goes to Taruko, the guy who brought everyone here in the first place, if they can leave. And for being the only person who didn’t witness Takeshi getting mutilated, he’s pretty okay with leaving. So, for…..some reason, Mika thinks that him agreeing isn’t enough, so she tries seducing him to get the keys. But, that doesn’t seem to work on them, so she just gladly takes them off his hands…. Well then what the fuck was the point of seducing him then if he was just going to give them to you. Oh, but trust me, she doesn’t get too far, because the monster then grabs her and kills her too. So since Shun knows that this is all a game (Which if that’s the case, why are all of his Friends dying, anda FUCKING IDIOT-) Shun is able to find all of the keys and solve all the puzzles. And then he and Anna reach a room with a piano. While they do so, Mika is calling them from the other side of the ro- Yeah, it’s the monster… I mean, if she was killed off screen, and she did this, it probably would have been less predictable. It doesn’t work if anda already showed her death. So, now the monster, known as the Blue Demon breaks in, and we finally get to take a look at the horrifying, evil- MOST GOD-FUCKING-AWFUL PIECE OF CGI SHIT MONSTER I HAVE EVER SEEN IN A MODERN FILM! I mean what the fuck is this! It looks like an Oompa Loompa with a birth defect.
Whatever. Anyway, the disfigured Grimace chases Shun and Anna to a locked dresser, and- Okay… This is the worst part of the movie. So what happens is that Shun and Anna are trying to unlock this little drawer. Instead of just moving the combination around, Shun just holds it a little until it unlocks. And throughout this entire time, the Blue Demon is LITERALLY RIGHT THERE, seterusnya TO THEM, WATCHING THEM UNLOCK THE SAFE! And he just stands there, punching the dinding and screaming like a little kid. These people are trying to escape and all anda do is stand there, anda fucking idiot!
So after that, Anna talks about Naoki again (Who cares), and then the meet Hiroshi, who was probably busy being the protagonist of the game somewhere and then they all head to the basement. So, once they do make it to the basement, they then find Takuro, who knocked Hiroshi unconscious for…. some reason. And here…. for some reason, Anna finds out that her brother was killed sejak Takuro…. why? Because he punched a kid? Yeah, that’s some concrete evidence. That’s like if I tell my dog off for pissing on the rug, that makes me a suspect for the Jack the Ripper murders. So, while those two argue, Shun looks inside the box to find… himself. As it turns out, Shun was dead the entire time. dun dun duu- Wait, how? It says that everyone who saw Shun was not able to see him. Everyone but Anna….. But how? How is it that she was the only one who couldn’t see him? And how did Shun die? Well, Shun put Taruko’s name into that game that was in the movie, which made Taruko mad…. Yep, his motives for killing a man was because he didn’t want his name put into a horror game……………….. WHY! This is a complete slap in the face to peminat-peminat of the Ao Oni game. The game had no such thing as the main character being a ghost. The main character was a quiet young man who wanted to disprove a rumor, only to be proven wrong. That is not what this movie is. This movie is a bunch of angry teens go into a house, have hormones atau some shit, and get killed sejak a deformed Gengar. This is easily Japan’s jalan Fighter movie. Also, this explains why he has the scar on his hand! See, look. They did bring it back. I knew it was important… for no reason at all. Really, it didn’t do anything other than waste ten saat of the Filem time.
So, anyway, he gets angry that he’s dead and then disappears atau some shit. Taruko then tries to kill Anna because why not, but before he can, the Hills Have Eyes version of Twilight Sparkle jumps out and eats him. So Anna and Hiroshi get the common sense to get the fuck out of there. Sadly though (And I am trying to make this sound sad, because I really don’t care for the characters) Hiroshi is unable to move, so he sacrifices himself to the mutated Bonnie. Sadly, the inhuman Teletubby runs the guy over and keeps chasing Anna. So, Anna ends up in the room where the woman at the beginning of the film was, and she then meets Shun, which could possibly be the Ao Oni. And that is the end of the movie-
Okay……… So after looking at it again……… That isn’t the end of the movie….. The end of the movie is when Shun and Anna are at the part where the movie started, menunjukkan that everything was just a game…… anda dirty bunch of fuckers. anda pulled one of the most bullshit cop out endings anda could in a movie, as if anda really think it was a good idea, anda lazy bunch of assholes. Oh, but that isn’t the worst part. Yeah, that would be bad enough, but as it turns out, this piece of shit that I just sat down to for a whole jam and ten minit is actually getting a sequel. You’re telling me that they plan on making a sequel to this piece of shit? Why? This movie was fucking awful!
I mean, I am shocked that this flew past me so long ago. The story is fucking terrible, the CGI is some of the worst I’ve seen in modern films, the movie follows nothing from the original sumber material, every single character is unlikable as fuck, and this movie is nothing lebih than an endurance test of boring bullshit. As if one film was bad enough, but now they’re making a goddamn sequel. Will I review this one too? Maybe. Though I ain’t looking ke hadapan to it. Fuck this movie, and fuck it’s sequel which will also probably suck. But hey, that’s only my opinion. What’s Your Take.