Narrator: Life in Sparta is very harse. Each baby is inspected, and if they are unfit in anyway they are dispposed of... anda know, Killed. From the time we can stand, we are trained in to the art of combat. and than at age seven we are taken to a place that teaches us NOTHING but violence. In order to make the finest soldiers known to man. Why do we do this?
IS THAT anda BUSINESS!?
I mean stop annoying me! I mean honestly, WOULD anda WANT ME TO RIP OFF YOUR FACE! BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL! RIP OFF OUT YOUR...
Sorry, Leonardis kept me up all night, constantly reminding to narrate the story of his life, so here I go.
Leonardis went though all the hardships that rest of us Spartans do. Including being cast out into the wild snow ontop of a high mountain, where he bravelly spend much of his time laying in a fetal position. Until eventually he was greeted sejak a large black, scary looking wolf. Witch looked at him, with no intentions of wishing to hurt the young boy, it mainly just containued walking past him. But still the boy grabbed his spear and stabbed it though the wolfs brain. Then, after several days the boy returned, wearing the wolfs bulu as clothes, and became KING OF SPARTA!
(anger in voice), Even though I did the very same thing five times in a row, and I sure as hell never...
"Dilos, stop narraiting already, it's friggin annoying!" Cried Leonardis himself, as he walking past Dilos, and after saying this he containued walking, until he was no longer seen.
"Aye, ser" Dilos berkata grumperly.
Then Dilos checked to see if Leonardis would be able to hear him anymore. And went back to narriating outloud.
Narritor: Its been so many years sence the serigala, wolf and the winter could. Now, as then, a beast amerges. Unlike anything ever seen be-
"DILOS!" Leonardis cried from off view.
Dilos sighed annoyedly. "Just enjoy the friggin story" he groaned to the readers.
(300 SPOOF!)
A large, black skinned rider hode his horse to Sparta, with lots of hooded of riders traveling behind him.
The rider met up with Leonardis and his wife, Gorgo.
"So many backup.. anda must be paraniod" Leonardis teased him.
"Forget about that, it dosen't matter" the black man replied.
"Before anda say anymore Persian.. Know that in Sparta, everyone, even a kings messager, is held accountable for the words of his voice... Now, what message did anda bring?" Leonardis asked.
"earth and water" the MESSAGER replied.
"You came all this way for earth and water?" Leonardis asked.
"Do not nieve atau stupid Perisan, anda can afford neither in Sparta" Gorgo said.
"What makes this woman think she can speak amoung men?" the MESSAGER berkata annoyedly.
"Because she's as annoying as hell" Leonardis teased.
Carzing him and the MESSAGER to laugh and high five each other, as Gorgo groaned annoyedly.
"Seriously though, what dose earth and water have to do with anything?" Leonardis asked.
MESSAGER went on about how big of a army Xerbis leads, and how such fights could be prevented sejak earth and water (submission to being under Xerbis's control).
"Submission... Now that's a bit of a problem.. Rumor has it, the Arcadians have already turned anda down.. And if them numbskulls have such nerve, then why should we be any different" Leonardis replied.
"Choose your seterusnya words carefully Leonardis, they may be your last as King" MESSAGER warned.
Leonardis began looking at all the citizens of Sparta, including small childrun.
'earth and water' Leonardis thought.
Without warning he drew out his sword pointing it at the MESSAGER. But as he did a crack sound was heard. "OH GOD! MY ARM!" Leonardis screamed, falling down, holding his snapped arm.
A few Spartens ran over, trying to help him, carzing everyone to start speaking at once.
A 'please stand by' screen appeared.
Leonardis, after fixing his arm, went back to holding his sword at MESSAGER.
"Madman! Your a madman!" MESSAGER cried out.
"Earth and water, your find plenty of both down there" Leonardis said, chuckling abit.
"No one! Persian atau Greek, NO ONE THREATENS A MESSAGER!" MESSAGER cried.
"You bring the concored heads of old Kings to my cities steps! anda insult my Queen even though what anda berkata is 100% true! And anda threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh I choosen my words carefully Persian, prehaps anda should of done the same" Leonardis cried out.
"This is Blastermy! THIS IS MADNESS!" MESSAGER cried out.
Leonardis lowered his sword for the moment.
"Madness... THIS! IS!... Damn it I forgot the line!" Leonardis cried out.
"Really?" MESSAGER asked.
"YES! I FORGOT THAT PART OF THE SCRIPT!" Leonardis cried, annoyed with himself.
"Its just the name of the city" berkata Leonardis's friend, the Captain.
"Yes, but I need a reminder of what that is!" Leonardis cried, even though a sign saying "Welcome to Sparta" reveals to be wait beside him.
"You mean Sparta?" MESSAGER asked.
"Yes! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!' Leonardis screamed before kicking MESSAGER down a huge well, where he was heard screaming like a little girl the whole way down.
Leonardis looked up at a huge amount of rocks.
He began climbing up them.
Eventually he reached the top.
Where he was greeted sejak the Ephors.
Leonardis pulled out thousands of coins to pay the Ephors with.
He told that Sparta would need to go to war, when Xerbis learns of how Leonardis treated the Persian messager. But the Ephors forbit him to do show, saying "Sparta gives no war, joining the holly festivel"
"SPARTA! WILL BORN! OUR MEN WILL DIE AT ARMS! AND OUR WOMAN AND CHILDRUN, WILL BE SLAVES atau WORSE!" Leonardis cried angrily.
"Besides, I have so many weopians" Leonardis unfolding a large sheet filled with dozens of weopions.
"Look at them all, There is an Axe, dagger, bow and arrow, crossbow, every weopion ever invented is wait here in my sheet.. Look at them all, THERE ALL MOCKING ME! I HAVEN'T USED ANY OF THEM! There was never enough time.. I only ever use my sword, GOD I SUCK!" Leonardis cried.
AURTHER NOTE: The part where Leonardis is saying all the weopions is mocking him, is a reference to Two and a Half men..
Anyway. I'll skip to when Leonardis and Gordo are in their bedroom.
Leonardis climbed into katil with his wife.
Eventually she convinced him, that despite what the Ephors said, that he should still take a bunch of men, and head to battle against the Persians.
"Your right" Leonardis said, starting to leave, but Gordo stopped him. "You know, what I want" she said.
"Yes, anda want to have a "lemon" in this chapter" Leonardis said.
Gordo nodded slyly.
"Fine, here anda go" Leonadis said, as he 'liturary' gave her a lemon.
Gordo started at the lemon in confusion but also annoyance.
"Actually I ment...
But before Gordo finished her sentence, Leonardis was already gone. He already left the room.
Gordo looked at the lemon, and groaned at her husbands nievity.
Leonardis and Captain Artimis met up, just outside of Sparta's main enterance.
In front of them were three hundred worthy Spartan soldiers.
Leonardis was checking them out, seeming to be impressed so far.
"WE ARE WITH anda SER! TILL THE DEATH!" one of the soldiers, called Stalio, cried out suddenly, carzing birds to fly away from the noise.
"GOOD! I LIKE YOUR PASSON!" Leonardis yelled back.
"YAAA!" Stalio yelled back.
"YAAA!" Leonardis yelled in a similar type of way.
"ARE WE GOING TO KILL US SOME PERISAN?" Starlio asked, while still yelling in the same way as before.
"HELL YA, WE ARE!" Leonardis yelled back, also in the same way as before.
"WHY ARE WE STILL YELLING LIKE THIS?"
"I HAVE NO IDEA! BUT IT FEELS FUCKIN AWSOME!" Leonardis yelled.
"YES! YES IT DOSE!" Stalio yelled back.
"YAA!" Leonardis and Starlio both yelled out, while high fiving each other.
After that, Leonardis went back to beside the Captain, calming himself down sejak clearing his throat.
Leonardis and the captain containued checking out the soldiers. Leonardis spotted a younger looking soldier.
"Your son?" Leonardis asked the Captain, seeming rather serprised.
"Yes.. Astinon is as powerful and worthy as any.. no younger than we were, when anda first stepped seterusnya to me in battle." Captain replied.
"Well, I'm convinced, I'll take him" Leonardis said.
Leonardis and his many troops started their long march.
Eventually they ran into a bunch of Arcadian soldiers, lead sejak Daxos.
"We heard anda Spartans are at war with Persia, we hoped to sertai forces" Daxos told Leonardis.
"If it's blood anda seek, anda are welcome to sertai us" Leonardis berkata to Daxos.
"But anda bring only these hand full of men?" Daxos berkata in serpised.
"Were SPARTANS! We kick keldai despite our smaller amounts of soldiers" Leonardis berkata in response.
Awkward silence.
"Works for me" Daxos said.
After a long journey the Spartans and Arcadians reached a destoried looking village.
"Oh my gose! Would anda look at that!" Leonardis cried, pointing to off screen.
Everyone look over to were was pointing, to their disgust, they saw all the villagers, killed and stuck on a tree, like some kind of sick display.
"Ohh, would anda look at that" Leonardis said.
Nobody responded.
"Seriously, just look at it! Just look at it!" Leonardis said.
"this is horrible" Dexos cried.
"I know! Just look at it! Everyone looking at it? Causing I am so totally looking at it! I'm looking the hek out if it" Leonardis said, annoyingly.
"Must of been the Immortals" A Spartan said.
"Where are they! I would like to look at them!" Leonardis cried angrily.
"Immortals!? I heard of those bastards! They can not be killed atau defeated!" Dexos cried.
"Immortals! They won't be so legendary when I rip off one of their heads and tell the others, WOULD anda LOOK AT THAT!.. I will put there names to the test"
MUCH LATER!
Eventually the Spartans and Persians spotted Persian ships, in the sea.
But unfortantly the Persians a huge storm came destoring their ships and drowning the Persians.
Everyone cheered except for Leonidas, who remained calm as he watched the ships get destoried.
LATER AGAIN!
Stalio ended up climbing over large rocks seeing huge numbers of Persians.
"Why do anda smile?" Daxos asked, seeing that Stalio was grinning about being so outnumbered.
"Arcadian... I have fought countless times.. But maybe, with all the worlds armies, just maybe.. Someone... Will give me a true challange" Stalio said, wait before he began laughing like a crazy person, and randomly choose to push Daxo's head deep into the sand.
THE seterusnya DAY!
A large man, colored man, arrived with a bunch do Persian units.
He met up with Starilo, Daxos and other soldiers building a large wall.
The large man, who introduced himself as a God, soon started mocking them for their wall, that is, until he realized it was made from his scotts.
Unraged the man was about to kill them with a huge wrip, but Stalio jumped up to him with his sword, and cut the mans whole off.
"MY ARM!" The man cried from the intense pain.
"It's not yours any more" Starlio said, holding his sword against the man.
"Go now, run along, and tell your Xerxes, he faces free men, not slaves"
The man told Starlio that he won't be a slave, but instead a dead man, witch carzed Stalio to grin at the idea of it.
LATER!
Leonardis and Artimis where chatting.
Suddenly they saw a horribly disfigured man, as he warned them Thea secret path the Persians know of.
Artimis didn't take very kindly to the creature, threatening to kill it with his spear if it dared come closer.
Leonardis, not wanting Artimis to kill the poor thing, gentally shooed off his old friend, to be alone with the visiter.
"Forgive the Captain, he is a good soldier... (stands up), but a bit short, on manners" Leonardis berkata to his visiter.
"You don't think I'm THAT ugly do you?" the creature asked Leonardis.
" Not at all... anda gross piece of shit" Leonardis replied.
"I am Ephailian" the creature berkata introducing himself.
"I wish to honer my parents sejak fighting as a Spartan my lord, I will kill many Persians" Ephailian added.
"I'm sure that anda would, but the fact remains your are too deformed to fight, anda are infact, very hudious" Leonardis said.
"Oh come on, I can lift my sheild high enough to sertai the impendrable forces" Ephailian said.
"Really?" Leonardis asked.
"No" Ephailian admitted.
"Then, I'm sorry my friend, but I can not use you" Leonardis berkata lightly.
"OH MY GOD! anda DESTORIED ME SPIRIT!" Ephailian cried out.
"Look I'm sorry oka-
"YOU BASTARD!" Ephailian cried angrily, pointing at Leonardis.
"Excuse me!" Leonardis cried.
"Maybe I'll take out my anger sejak revealing your position to Xerbis, anda THOUGHT ABOUT THAT LEONARDIS!?" Ephailian.
"Okay, anda can join, just shut up already" Leonardis berkata annoyedly.
"Well, I dont WANT to anymore" Ephailian cried childishly.
"What?"
"You think anda could just randomly change your mind, and have me just go with it!" Ephailian cried.
"Worked in HISHE" Leonardis replied.
"You know what, forgot it... Enjoy your assault, jerk" Ephailian cried, quoting Family Guy.
Leonardis met up with his men. When suddenly the ground started shaking.
"Earthquake!" Captain cried.
"No Captain, battle stations" Leonardis replied, grinning abit.
Thousands of Persians where shown running with all the weopions over their heads.
Leonardis stood over infront of his Spartan forces.
"This is were we hold them! This is we're we fight! This! Is were THEY die!" Leonardis cried dramatically.
"ARM THESE SHIELDS BOYS!" Artimis cried. "HOWHOA!" Everyone cried.
"Remember this hari men, for it shall be yours for all time!" Leonardis cried to his men.
A Persian leader cried for the Spartans to lower their weapions.
But the Spartans responded sejak thoughing a spear though him, instantly killing him.
Enrarged, thousands of Persian soldiers started running up to the Spartans.
The Spartans held up their shields and eventually the Persians crashed into them.
The Spartans tightly held them down, and at one point the Captain got one of the Persian's spears to intensely scrape his arm, angered the Captain killed the one particaler Persian that scrapted him.
Finally after a long while the Spartans threw back their shields, knocking over most of the Persian soldiers, giving them many easy kills, sejak stabbing spears into them, while they where trying to get up.
The Spartan soldiers and Persian soldiers both started running towards each other, dramatically.
Suddenly Leonardis heard a rumble from his pocket. "WWWAAAAAITTT!" he cried. Stopping both units, as both sides lowered there weapions from above their heads, and stopped their angry faces for the moment.
"I'm sorry, but I need to read this text" Leonardis said, conveniently taking out a cellphone.
"Are anda fuckin serious!?" Stalio berkata annoyedly.
"I have so many online friends, I can't help it!" Leonardis cried.
He then started Membaca the message. "Haha... That deserves a, lol" Leonardis said, responding to the text, then putting his phone away.
"Hold on, I need to take my pills" berkata one of the Persian soldiers, as he took out his weekly pill orgonizer, and sallowed his small pill.
"Anyone have any water?" The Persian asked, nobody in particaler.
"Here take some of mine" Astinion said, tossing him a water bottle.
"Thanks" the Persian berkata before drinking from it.
"Nice weature where having" Captain said.
"Very" Leonardis replied.
Awkward silence.
Suddenly the two units went back to angrily charging at each other, and the fight containued.
The powerful units containued, heavily fighting each other.
Though the sound effects, made them sound lebih like angry little children yelling at each other, in high toned voices.
The Captain smashed a frying pan against a Persian's head, killing him.
Stalio and a Persian soldier where having one of those steriotyped girl fights.
Astinion took out a Rawak chainsaw and ripped though many of the Persians.
One Persian soldier was shown laying in a fetal possion, and shaking intensely.
A Spartan soldier stabbed his spear though a Persian soldier.
Leonardis backpunched a Persian that tried sneaking up on him.
"Time for pointless, slow motion, movements!" Leonardis cried out to his men.
"HAWHOO!" All the other Spartans chanted several times.
And with that Leonardis took out his sword, and all his kills happened in dramatic, slow motion.
His first kill was stabbed across the chest.
saat stabbed though the back and out the chest.
Third had his leg cut off as he took a intense blow.
Forth had Leonardis throw the phone had at the Persians face, seeming to kill as him simply as that.
Fifth was punched down, and with intense speed Leonardis finished him sejak stabbing his sword towards the ground.
Leonardis pulled his sword out of the Persian corps. And he and his men sees there's is only a hand full of Persians left at this point, witch the Spartans manage to toss down a huge cliff, killing all of them.
"Hell of a good start" Captain commented.
"Agreed" Leonardis said, catching his breath.
Suddenly a horn was heard, reminding Leonardis and his soldiers, the partical fight there wasn't even HALF of the amount still against them. Witch where ten atau twentie times as much.
Suddenly the sky started darkening with thousands of arrows, (one of my kegemaran moments of the film)..
"COCKTAILS!" Leonardis cried, and all the Spartans held their shields over their heads as they started getting rained on sejak thousands and thousands of arrows.
Several of them laughed about the eariler statement 'fight in the shade'.. I never get it myself, but that's just me.
Eventually it stopped, one lone Arrow stabbed into a Spartan soldier's kneecap.
"Oh my God! Arrow to the knee, it actually happened! It's SO much less funny when it actually happens!" The Spartan cried in pain.
A bunch of the others managed to take the Arrow out of the Spartan, and he managed to get himself back up.
All the Persians started riding Kuda towards the Spartans.
"Today, no Spartan dies" Leonardis berkata to his men.
As the Persians got closer all the Spartans started throwing fruits at them, knocking the Persians off Kuda and the fallen Persian died when all other Kuda ran ontop of him.
When the Persians got wait up to them, the Spartans started intensely killing them.
Narrator: We did what we enjoy to do. What we were trained to do. What we roti to do. What we were computer animated to do. What we green screened to do. What we were chosen to do. What we dressed up to do. What we were filmed to do. what we were BORN to do.. No prisoners.. No mercy.. A good start.
Leonardis and his soldiers where walking over hundreds of thousands of Persian corpes.
They where stabbing their spears into Persians that where still breathing.
Leonardis himself was eating a fresh apple.
"Our Arcadian allies, are bagging for a crack at the Persians ser" Captain said.
"Good" Leonardis berkata grinning.
At one point, Stalio ran over, informing them of a small unit of Persians have been spotted, far to small to be a attack.
"Alright, I'll have a word with them" Leonardis said.
"I... I don't know about that ser" Stalio berkata nervously.
"Relax dear boy, they assassinate me, all of Sparta goes to war... Pray they are not stupid... Prey... Where that luck" Leonardis said.
No response.
"Besides, there's no reason we can't be friendly, is there"
"None ser" Captain said, after stabbing his spear into one of the still breathing Persians.
Leonardis met with Xerxes himself.
Leonardis was clearly amazed with how tall Xerxes was, asking him i. He ever tried basketball, but Xerxes never gave a answer.
"Lesson, I'm getting real tired of slaughtering all of your men, why can't anda just leave Sparta alone" Leonardis said.
"It was anda who started this war, all I wanted was submission" Xerxes said.
"Why should I bow to you, my unnaturally tall friend?"
Xerxes began telling of how he can give Leonardis all that his hati, tengah-tengah desires.
"Still not convinced... anda see, I always had problems with people over 8 feet. It'll be only a matter of time before I randomly cut off your legs so that problem will no longer be my personal issue... Besides... The idea of bowing in front you.. Its possible I might accidantly see under your pointer" Leonardis said.
Xerxes was now angered, as he said. "There will be no glory in your sacrifice... I will erase even the memorie of Sparta from histories, every piece of Greek parsement shall be burnt, Every Greek historian shall have there eyes put out and there tongues cut from there mouths... Why, uttering the very name of Sparta, OR! Leonardis, shall be punishable sejak death... The world will never know anda existed at all" (Real line, that was used in the scene)...
"The world will know that we fought as freemen, that few stood against many... And that before this is over, that even a God king like yourself, can bleed" Leonardis replied, menunjukkan no fear of Xerxes.
Back with the rest of the Spartans.
Stalio and Astinion were helping each other though the remaining Persian corpes, into a huge pile everyone was making.
"You fought well yesterday... For a woman" Starlio teased.
They both laughed.
"But anda still need to be faster for future battles" Starlio added.
"Maybe I moved so fast, anda couldn't see me" Astinion replied.
"Don't gay it up" Stalio teased.
Astinion didn't replied.
Suddenly Leonardis appeared, motioning for everyone to regroup around him.
they all looked back.
"Unless I was miss lead, we're in for one wild night" Leonardis said, witch at this point the pile of bodies, revealed to be made as a huge dinding of dead Persians.
Late that night.
The sounds of nearby drums where heard.
Suddenly revealed was a bunch of ninja like soldiers, in fancy looking armor.
Narritor: They have served dark will of Perisa kings for five hundred of years.Eyes as dark as night. Teeth, filer to fangs.. Soulless. The deadliest fight force in all of Asia..The IMMORTALS
The leader of the Immortal solders held up a arm, in a 'hold up' motion.
The drumming has stopped.
They all took out their weopions, when they saw the dinding of bodies.
Most had double Kanata's.
The god king betrayed a fatal flaw.
Hubris.
Easy to taunt, easy to trick.
Xerxes, has taken the bait.
"SPARTANS! PUSH!" Leonardis suddenly cried out.
And at that, he and as his men pushed down the huge dinding of bodies, witch all fell on the seeming commander of the Immortals, and at that the battle began.
Immortals.. We put there name to the test..
As the Immortal commander tried getting out of all the bodies, Leonardis easily stabbed its head off, and as he earlier mentioned doing, he pointed it to the other Immortals screaming "WOULD anda LOOK AT THAT!"
Stalio managed to stabe his spear into two of the Immortal's at once.
Leonardis smashed a enemies face against a nearby pole, killing him.
One Spartan soldier stabbed his sword into the stomach of one of the Immortals.
Anouther Spartan touched swords with one of the Immortals, then managed to stabe him across most of the Immortal solder's chest, killing him. But suddenly anouther Immortal smashed a empty menanggung, bear bottle onto the Spartan's head, from behind, knocking the Spartan on his knees in pain.
Leonardis grabbed a banana, and beat a Immortal warrior to death with it, then he pealed and managed to eat the still fresh banana, and threw the peal onto a enemies face somehow knocked the Immortal soldier off it's feet, and it ended up accidentlly getting itself cut through a large sharp rock, and instantly died.
Dilos stabbed his sword into a Immortal, killing it.
The Spartan who was knocked onto knees after getting hit with a empty bir bottle, had a Immortal stabe a sword into the Spartans neck, snapping his neck intensely before he fell down dead.
Captain managed to kill quite a few Immortals with his sword and shield.
"FATHER!" Astinion cried out in warning, ableing the Captain to notice a Immortal trying to leap onto him, and the Captain blocked him sejak smashing his shield against it. Both Captain and Astinion ended up stabbing the enamy. Captain looked at his son, seeming impressed.
A Immortal threw himself into the air kicking both feet, but ended up looking like a fool, as nobody was their for him to kick down.
Anouther Spartan was killed as three atau four Immortals grabbed onto him like wild monkeys atau whatever, and as he was down the bunch of them started stabbing him repeated times.
Dilos seemed to be making great progress killing through many Immortals.
A huge troll like, 10 foot, deranged and monster like, muscular warrior.. Known as Giant. Is wanting to be let out of his many chains so he can sertai the fight.
One of the Immortals motions for him to be released, and so, all his chains started getting broke, setting him free.
Dilos containued stabbing though the Immortals around him.
He touched swords with one and ended up punching it's mask like topi keledar off.
Dilos couldn't help but so fear as he released these 'Immortals' where barely even human, but instead ape like, monsters, witch growled at Dilos after getting its mask taken off, it then threw Dilos, under his moment of weakness onto the ground.
Giant, shown that he barelly cared for his own men, as he killed a few that we're in his way.
The maskless Immortal was about to finish off Dilos, but Leonardis came along and stabbed his spear into the enemies neck, and again in its stomach, killing it.
Leonardis then helped Dilos back up.
Giant charged at Dilos and Leonardis, somehow finding a unnaturally large chain saw.
Dilos thought fast and pushed his king out of harms way, nearly lossing his own life, as he briefly fought Giant, with his sword, and ended up being kicked a long ways away.
And now it was Leonardis who had to fight Giant, but Leonardis wasn't actually standing much chance, he was thrown on the ground.
However at that moment Giant tripped on something from the ground, and ended having a grousome and bloody death, as the large chainsaw fell onto his chest ripping him up, as he was screaming from off view.
"ARCADIAN! NOW!" Leonardis cried out suddenly.
Daxos and his units saw the battlefield.
"Come! Lets tunjuk the Spatans what we can do!" he cried to his men, and they all ran to their enamys yelling like excited little childrun.
Daxos somehow managed to find a MP40, and killed many of the Immortals sejak blind firing, all while still yelling.
The Arcadians where yelling nonestop while attacking, still making them seem like small childrun.
And still, Daxos and his many men where cutting though many of the Immortals.
One Arcadian screamed and angrily pointed at a Immortal soldier, but stangely did nothing else.
Anouther Arcidian yelled as he ran up to a Immortal soldier and smashed a old computer against its head, killing it.
The Spartans started helping them out. And eventually the Immortals where all defeated and killed.
Xerxes watched from up high, feeling worryness, as he realized his best soldiers where defeated in such ways.
All the Spartans where celebrating, having successfully won anouther battle.
"To King Leonardis!" Stalio berkata holding up his drink atau whatever he had.
"HAWHOO!" All the others cheered out.
"And our honered dead!" Stalio added.
"HAWHOO!"
"There is nothing that can stop us now!" Captain added.
"HAWHOO! HAWHOO! HAWHOO!"
LATER THE seterusnya DAY!
The Persians where shown rising huge eliphants.
Seriously though, despite the over the bahagian, atas size, this idea isn't FULLY made up.
Not even joking. The Persians used F***in elephants!
I'm serious, look it up on the internet!
Uhhh, anyway...
All the Spartans managed to scare the eliphants into falling off the edge, killing themselves, and all the Persians riding ontop of them.
In anouther battle seqense the Perisans had huge rino like creature run at the Spartans, but serprisingly Astinion managed to take it down without much effert.
But the Persians weren'dfinished yet. They started throwing magic at the Spartans, eventually though, Stalio managed to kill all the Persian magic users.
In anouther battle seqence Astinion and Stalios where standing back to back, basically as they were intensely defeating a huge amount of Persian attackers.
Stalio throw one down and farted on its face.
Astinion stabbed three at once.
Stalio cut onces head off, and stabbed anouther through the stomach.
Astinion beat a Persian to death with a Rawak rubber ducky.
Stalio killed untill there was only two Persians left.
Astinion twisted the arm of one, making stabe his pisau into the other, then killed the broken armed Persian sejak snapping its neck.
All was silent know the fight was over for the moment.
In a touching moment, the Captain at his son after seeing his honorable fighting talents, Astinion smiled back, but the moment was ruined when some Rawak Persian rider and cut Astinions head off.
lebih Persian soldiers ran over.
Captain, went nuts and intensely killed the full group in a matter of seconds.
He then kneed down to his dead son, and started screaming angrily, until all the other Persians had to hold him back.
Narrator: The Captains crys of anger for his sons death, is lebih frightening to the enamy then the deepiest battle drum.
Persian soldiers where lessoning to the Captains angry cries, but had abuslty NO fear on their faces, just blank stares.
Narritor: The hari is ours.. But no songs where sung.
Ephailian arrived in a Persian headquarters.
Where he agreed to sertai with Xerxes in exchange of a uniform, plus the promise of woman a wealth.
Daxos and his Arcadian soldiers got news of a huge Persian army approching, one to large for them to handle.
"Would anda stop complaining... God, your even lebih annoying then Gerard Butler" Leonardis cried.
"Firstly I don't think your in a position to be mocking that guy, secondly we CAN'T WIN THIS TIME! We have to retreat" Daxos replied.
"We never retreat, we are, (shakes Daxos), SPARTAAAANS!" Leonardis cried.
"Maybe he's right, ser"
"What was that Dilos!" Leonardis cried.
"I Lost my god damn eye ser! I don't want to fight no more" Dilos said.
"Are anda dening the chance to spill pointless blood, in overly large battles, we never stop fighting in, what is wrong with you!" Leonardis cried.
"I'm just saying, there's lebih to life then killing an-
"GET OUT! GET OUT WAIT NOW!" Leonardis angrily screamed at Dilos, who nervously started to ran off.
"Have anda gone mad!" Daxos cried.
"Yes, yes I have!" Leonardis cried back.
"Well, we are out of here!" Daxos cried, riding off with all the Arcadians.
Leonardis cart, troli up with Dilos before he left.
Saying he wanted to tell his wife that he won't be coming back, and that he hopes his people shall remember him.
"I'll give the messages ser, I promise" Dilos said.
"Good... Just make sure, I'm not remember sejak a stupid 'Greek Hero Cult... And that anda don't end this story sejak leading ten thousand Spartans against the Persians" Leonardis said.
"I'll remember that ser" Dilos said.
LATER AGAIN!
Leonardis and the remaining Spartans watched everyone leave.
"Spartans! Ready your plates, and eat harty, BECAUSE! TONIGHT! WE DINE! IN HELL!" Leonardis cried out.
"Tonight, but I'm too tired" Captain complained.
"Fine, but... Tomarrow morning, we're dine, in-
"What about breakfast?" Asked Stalio.
"After that! We're din-
"I'll have to sharpen my spear first" berkata one of the Spartans.
"Eventually! We're dine, in... AHH! FORGET IT!" Leonardis cried, in childish anger.
Leonardis and his men were surrended sejak thousands and thousands of Persians.
A Persian commander told Leonardis he can anything that he and his Brave men could even want, all they have to do is surwanded to Xerxes.
"Okay, I give in" Leonardis berkata putting his hands up.
"Really!" The commander asked excitedly.
"HELL NO!" Leonardis screamed, and shot the Persian commander with a desert eagle.
"KILL THEM!" Xerxes angrily screamed to his men.
And all the Persians started firing hundreds of arrows killing most of the Spartans.
Captain got stabbed with various spears, but he still managed the kill many Persians before dying himself.
Leonardis got a Arrow shot into his shoulder. "HAHAHA! IS THAT anda GOT!" He cried to the Persians. Anouther Arrow flew into his stomach. "YOU MAKE ME SAD KIDS!" Leonardis mocked to the Persians.
A Persian was shown firing anouther Arrow into Leonardis who was off view now. "WHAT ARE YOU! SOLDIERS, atau LITTLE GIRLS!" Leonardis cried, still from off view.
Leonardis managed to api, kebakaran a spear at Xerxes mouth, and cut his mouth, giving the large God king fear, as he was reminded that he was mortal.
Leonardis was hit with anouther Arrow ad finally started falling down in pain.
He was on his knees, seterusnya to where Stalios was laying, as he was still but barely alive.
Leonardis allowed Stalio to hold his hand before dying. "It is a honor to die at your side" was all Stalio said. "And it was a honor, to have lived at yours" Leonardis replied.
Leonardis only the strange to say his last words.
"HA BLA BICK!" He cried.
All the Persians looked at each other in clear confusion.
"HA BLA BLA! SHEER MA TO BOA, SON CENCEAL!" Leonardis cried out, before getting hit with thousands of Persian arrows.
A FEW YEARS, atau SO, LATER!
Despite it not being what Leonardis wanted.
He was remembered as a Hero Cult.
And Dilo lead ten thousand Spartans against the Persians.
This is the end of the story.
Please leave reviews.
IS THAT anda BUSINESS!?
I mean stop annoying me! I mean honestly, WOULD anda WANT ME TO RIP OFF YOUR FACE! BECAUSE I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL! RIP OFF OUT YOUR...
Sorry, Leonardis kept me up all night, constantly reminding to narrate the story of his life, so here I go.
Leonardis went though all the hardships that rest of us Spartans do. Including being cast out into the wild snow ontop of a high mountain, where he bravelly spend much of his time laying in a fetal position. Until eventually he was greeted sejak a large black, scary looking wolf. Witch looked at him, with no intentions of wishing to hurt the young boy, it mainly just containued walking past him. But still the boy grabbed his spear and stabbed it though the wolfs brain. Then, after several days the boy returned, wearing the wolfs bulu as clothes, and became KING OF SPARTA!
(anger in voice), Even though I did the very same thing five times in a row, and I sure as hell never...
"Dilos, stop narraiting already, it's friggin annoying!" Cried Leonardis himself, as he walking past Dilos, and after saying this he containued walking, until he was no longer seen.
"Aye, ser" Dilos berkata grumperly.
Then Dilos checked to see if Leonardis would be able to hear him anymore. And went back to narriating outloud.
Narritor: Its been so many years sence the serigala, wolf and the winter could. Now, as then, a beast amerges. Unlike anything ever seen be-
"DILOS!" Leonardis cried from off view.
Dilos sighed annoyedly. "Just enjoy the friggin story" he groaned to the readers.
(300 SPOOF!)
A large, black skinned rider hode his horse to Sparta, with lots of hooded of riders traveling behind him.
The rider met up with Leonardis and his wife, Gorgo.
"So many backup.. anda must be paraniod" Leonardis teased him.
"Forget about that, it dosen't matter" the black man replied.
"Before anda say anymore Persian.. Know that in Sparta, everyone, even a kings messager, is held accountable for the words of his voice... Now, what message did anda bring?" Leonardis asked.
"earth and water" the MESSAGER replied.
"You came all this way for earth and water?" Leonardis asked.
"Do not nieve atau stupid Perisan, anda can afford neither in Sparta" Gorgo said.
"What makes this woman think she can speak amoung men?" the MESSAGER berkata annoyedly.
"Because she's as annoying as hell" Leonardis teased.
Carzing him and the MESSAGER to laugh and high five each other, as Gorgo groaned annoyedly.
"Seriously though, what dose earth and water have to do with anything?" Leonardis asked.
MESSAGER went on about how big of a army Xerbis leads, and how such fights could be prevented sejak earth and water (submission to being under Xerbis's control).
"Submission... Now that's a bit of a problem.. Rumor has it, the Arcadians have already turned anda down.. And if them numbskulls have such nerve, then why should we be any different" Leonardis replied.
"Choose your seterusnya words carefully Leonardis, they may be your last as King" MESSAGER warned.
Leonardis began looking at all the citizens of Sparta, including small childrun.
'earth and water' Leonardis thought.
Without warning he drew out his sword pointing it at the MESSAGER. But as he did a crack sound was heard. "OH GOD! MY ARM!" Leonardis screamed, falling down, holding his snapped arm.
A few Spartens ran over, trying to help him, carzing everyone to start speaking at once.
A 'please stand by' screen appeared.
Leonardis, after fixing his arm, went back to holding his sword at MESSAGER.
"Madman! Your a madman!" MESSAGER cried out.
"Earth and water, your find plenty of both down there" Leonardis said, chuckling abit.
"No one! Persian atau Greek, NO ONE THREATENS A MESSAGER!" MESSAGER cried.
"You bring the concored heads of old Kings to my cities steps! anda insult my Queen even though what anda berkata is 100% true! And anda threaten my people with slavery and death! Oh I choosen my words carefully Persian, prehaps anda should of done the same" Leonardis cried out.
"This is Blastermy! THIS IS MADNESS!" MESSAGER cried out.
Leonardis lowered his sword for the moment.
"Madness... THIS! IS!... Damn it I forgot the line!" Leonardis cried out.
"Really?" MESSAGER asked.
"YES! I FORGOT THAT PART OF THE SCRIPT!" Leonardis cried, annoyed with himself.
"Its just the name of the city" berkata Leonardis's friend, the Captain.
"Yes, but I need a reminder of what that is!" Leonardis cried, even though a sign saying "Welcome to Sparta" reveals to be wait beside him.
"You mean Sparta?" MESSAGER asked.
"Yes! SPARTAAAAAAAAA!' Leonardis screamed before kicking MESSAGER down a huge well, where he was heard screaming like a little girl the whole way down.
Leonardis looked up at a huge amount of rocks.
He began climbing up them.
Eventually he reached the top.
Where he was greeted sejak the Ephors.
Leonardis pulled out thousands of coins to pay the Ephors with.
He told that Sparta would need to go to war, when Xerbis learns of how Leonardis treated the Persian messager. But the Ephors forbit him to do show, saying "Sparta gives no war, joining the holly festivel"
"SPARTA! WILL BORN! OUR MEN WILL DIE AT ARMS! AND OUR WOMAN AND CHILDRUN, WILL BE SLAVES atau WORSE!" Leonardis cried angrily.
"Besides, I have so many weopians" Leonardis unfolding a large sheet filled with dozens of weopions.
"Look at them all, There is an Axe, dagger, bow and arrow, crossbow, every weopion ever invented is wait here in my sheet.. Look at them all, THERE ALL MOCKING ME! I HAVEN'T USED ANY OF THEM! There was never enough time.. I only ever use my sword, GOD I SUCK!" Leonardis cried.
AURTHER NOTE: The part where Leonardis is saying all the weopions is mocking him, is a reference to Two and a Half men..
Anyway. I'll skip to when Leonardis and Gordo are in their bedroom.
Leonardis climbed into katil with his wife.
Eventually she convinced him, that despite what the Ephors said, that he should still take a bunch of men, and head to battle against the Persians.
"Your right" Leonardis said, starting to leave, but Gordo stopped him. "You know, what I want" she said.
"Yes, anda want to have a "lemon" in this chapter" Leonardis said.
Gordo nodded slyly.
"Fine, here anda go" Leonadis said, as he 'liturary' gave her a lemon.
Gordo started at the lemon in confusion but also annoyance.
"Actually I ment...
But before Gordo finished her sentence, Leonardis was already gone. He already left the room.
Gordo looked at the lemon, and groaned at her husbands nievity.
Leonardis and Captain Artimis met up, just outside of Sparta's main enterance.
In front of them were three hundred worthy Spartan soldiers.
Leonardis was checking them out, seeming to be impressed so far.
"WE ARE WITH anda SER! TILL THE DEATH!" one of the soldiers, called Stalio, cried out suddenly, carzing birds to fly away from the noise.
"GOOD! I LIKE YOUR PASSON!" Leonardis yelled back.
"YAAA!" Stalio yelled back.
"YAAA!" Leonardis yelled in a similar type of way.
"ARE WE GOING TO KILL US SOME PERISAN?" Starlio asked, while still yelling in the same way as before.
"HELL YA, WE ARE!" Leonardis yelled back, also in the same way as before.
"WHY ARE WE STILL YELLING LIKE THIS?"
"I HAVE NO IDEA! BUT IT FEELS FUCKIN AWSOME!" Leonardis yelled.
"YES! YES IT DOSE!" Stalio yelled back.
"YAA!" Leonardis and Starlio both yelled out, while high fiving each other.
After that, Leonardis went back to beside the Captain, calming himself down sejak clearing his throat.
Leonardis and the captain containued checking out the soldiers. Leonardis spotted a younger looking soldier.
"Your son?" Leonardis asked the Captain, seeming rather serprised.
"Yes.. Astinon is as powerful and worthy as any.. no younger than we were, when anda first stepped seterusnya to me in battle." Captain replied.
"Well, I'm convinced, I'll take him" Leonardis said.
Leonardis and his many troops started their long march.
Eventually they ran into a bunch of Arcadian soldiers, lead sejak Daxos.
"We heard anda Spartans are at war with Persia, we hoped to sertai forces" Daxos told Leonardis.
"If it's blood anda seek, anda are welcome to sertai us" Leonardis berkata to Daxos.
"But anda bring only these hand full of men?" Daxos berkata in serpised.
"Were SPARTANS! We kick keldai despite our smaller amounts of soldiers" Leonardis berkata in response.
Awkward silence.
"Works for me" Daxos said.
After a long journey the Spartans and Arcadians reached a destoried looking village.
"Oh my gose! Would anda look at that!" Leonardis cried, pointing to off screen.
Everyone look over to were was pointing, to their disgust, they saw all the villagers, killed and stuck on a tree, like some kind of sick display.
"Ohh, would anda look at that" Leonardis said.
Nobody responded.
"Seriously, just look at it! Just look at it!" Leonardis said.
"this is horrible" Dexos cried.
"I know! Just look at it! Everyone looking at it? Causing I am so totally looking at it! I'm looking the hek out if it" Leonardis said, annoyingly.
"Must of been the Immortals" A Spartan said.
"Where are they! I would like to look at them!" Leonardis cried angrily.
"Immortals!? I heard of those bastards! They can not be killed atau defeated!" Dexos cried.
"Immortals! They won't be so legendary when I rip off one of their heads and tell the others, WOULD anda LOOK AT THAT!.. I will put there names to the test"
MUCH LATER!
Eventually the Spartans and Persians spotted Persian ships, in the sea.
But unfortantly the Persians a huge storm came destoring their ships and drowning the Persians.
Everyone cheered except for Leonidas, who remained calm as he watched the ships get destoried.
LATER AGAIN!
Stalio ended up climbing over large rocks seeing huge numbers of Persians.
"Why do anda smile?" Daxos asked, seeing that Stalio was grinning about being so outnumbered.
"Arcadian... I have fought countless times.. But maybe, with all the worlds armies, just maybe.. Someone... Will give me a true challange" Stalio said, wait before he began laughing like a crazy person, and randomly choose to push Daxo's head deep into the sand.
THE seterusnya DAY!
A large man, colored man, arrived with a bunch do Persian units.
He met up with Starilo, Daxos and other soldiers building a large wall.
The large man, who introduced himself as a God, soon started mocking them for their wall, that is, until he realized it was made from his scotts.
Unraged the man was about to kill them with a huge wrip, but Stalio jumped up to him with his sword, and cut the mans whole off.
"MY ARM!" The man cried from the intense pain.
"It's not yours any more" Starlio said, holding his sword against the man.
"Go now, run along, and tell your Xerxes, he faces free men, not slaves"
The man told Starlio that he won't be a slave, but instead a dead man, witch carzed Stalio to grin at the idea of it.
LATER!
Leonardis and Artimis where chatting.
Suddenly they saw a horribly disfigured man, as he warned them Thea secret path the Persians know of.
Artimis didn't take very kindly to the creature, threatening to kill it with his spear if it dared come closer.
Leonardis, not wanting Artimis to kill the poor thing, gentally shooed off his old friend, to be alone with the visiter.
"Forgive the Captain, he is a good soldier... (stands up), but a bit short, on manners" Leonardis berkata to his visiter.
"You don't think I'm THAT ugly do you?" the creature asked Leonardis.
" Not at all... anda gross piece of shit" Leonardis replied.
"I am Ephailian" the creature berkata introducing himself.
"I wish to honer my parents sejak fighting as a Spartan my lord, I will kill many Persians" Ephailian added.
"I'm sure that anda would, but the fact remains your are too deformed to fight, anda are infact, very hudious" Leonardis said.
"Oh come on, I can lift my sheild high enough to sertai the impendrable forces" Ephailian said.
"Really?" Leonardis asked.
"No" Ephailian admitted.
"Then, I'm sorry my friend, but I can not use you" Leonardis berkata lightly.
"OH MY GOD! anda DESTORIED ME SPIRIT!" Ephailian cried out.
"Look I'm sorry oka-
"YOU BASTARD!" Ephailian cried angrily, pointing at Leonardis.
"Excuse me!" Leonardis cried.
"Maybe I'll take out my anger sejak revealing your position to Xerbis, anda THOUGHT ABOUT THAT LEONARDIS!?" Ephailian.
"Okay, anda can join, just shut up already" Leonardis berkata annoyedly.
"Well, I dont WANT to anymore" Ephailian cried childishly.
"What?"
"You think anda could just randomly change your mind, and have me just go with it!" Ephailian cried.
"Worked in HISHE" Leonardis replied.
"You know what, forgot it... Enjoy your assault, jerk" Ephailian cried, quoting Family Guy.
Leonardis met up with his men. When suddenly the ground started shaking.
"Earthquake!" Captain cried.
"No Captain, battle stations" Leonardis replied, grinning abit.
Thousands of Persians where shown running with all the weopions over their heads.
Leonardis stood over infront of his Spartan forces.
"This is were we hold them! This is we're we fight! This! Is were THEY die!" Leonardis cried dramatically.
"ARM THESE SHIELDS BOYS!" Artimis cried. "HOWHOA!" Everyone cried.
"Remember this hari men, for it shall be yours for all time!" Leonardis cried to his men.
A Persian leader cried for the Spartans to lower their weapions.
But the Spartans responded sejak thoughing a spear though him, instantly killing him.
Enrarged, thousands of Persian soldiers started running up to the Spartans.
The Spartans held up their shields and eventually the Persians crashed into them.
The Spartans tightly held them down, and at one point the Captain got one of the Persian's spears to intensely scrape his arm, angered the Captain killed the one particaler Persian that scrapted him.
Finally after a long while the Spartans threw back their shields, knocking over most of the Persian soldiers, giving them many easy kills, sejak stabbing spears into them, while they where trying to get up.
The Spartan soldiers and Persian soldiers both started running towards each other, dramatically.
Suddenly Leonardis heard a rumble from his pocket. "WWWAAAAAITTT!" he cried. Stopping both units, as both sides lowered there weapions from above their heads, and stopped their angry faces for the moment.
"I'm sorry, but I need to read this text" Leonardis said, conveniently taking out a cellphone.
"Are anda fuckin serious!?" Stalio berkata annoyedly.
"I have so many online friends, I can't help it!" Leonardis cried.
He then started Membaca the message. "Haha... That deserves a, lol" Leonardis said, responding to the text, then putting his phone away.
"Hold on, I need to take my pills" berkata one of the Persian soldiers, as he took out his weekly pill orgonizer, and sallowed his small pill.
"Anyone have any water?" The Persian asked, nobody in particaler.
"Here take some of mine" Astinion said, tossing him a water bottle.
"Thanks" the Persian berkata before drinking from it.
"Nice weature where having" Captain said.
"Very" Leonardis replied.
Awkward silence.
Suddenly the two units went back to angrily charging at each other, and the fight containued.
The powerful units containued, heavily fighting each other.
Though the sound effects, made them sound lebih like angry little children yelling at each other, in high toned voices.
The Captain smashed a frying pan against a Persian's head, killing him.
Stalio and a Persian soldier where having one of those steriotyped girl fights.
Astinion took out a Rawak chainsaw and ripped though many of the Persians.
One Persian soldier was shown laying in a fetal possion, and shaking intensely.
A Spartan soldier stabbed his spear though a Persian soldier.
Leonardis backpunched a Persian that tried sneaking up on him.
"Time for pointless, slow motion, movements!" Leonardis cried out to his men.
"HAWHOO!" All the other Spartans chanted several times.
And with that Leonardis took out his sword, and all his kills happened in dramatic, slow motion.
His first kill was stabbed across the chest.
saat stabbed though the back and out the chest.
Third had his leg cut off as he took a intense blow.
Forth had Leonardis throw the phone had at the Persians face, seeming to kill as him simply as that.
Fifth was punched down, and with intense speed Leonardis finished him sejak stabbing his sword towards the ground.
Leonardis pulled his sword out of the Persian corps. And he and his men sees there's is only a hand full of Persians left at this point, witch the Spartans manage to toss down a huge cliff, killing all of them.
"Hell of a good start" Captain commented.
"Agreed" Leonardis said, catching his breath.
Suddenly a horn was heard, reminding Leonardis and his soldiers, the partical fight there wasn't even HALF of the amount still against them. Witch where ten atau twentie times as much.
Suddenly the sky started darkening with thousands of arrows, (one of my kegemaran moments of the film)..
"COCKTAILS!" Leonardis cried, and all the Spartans held their shields over their heads as they started getting rained on sejak thousands and thousands of arrows.
Several of them laughed about the eariler statement 'fight in the shade'.. I never get it myself, but that's just me.
Eventually it stopped, one lone Arrow stabbed into a Spartan soldier's kneecap.
"Oh my God! Arrow to the knee, it actually happened! It's SO much less funny when it actually happens!" The Spartan cried in pain.
A bunch of the others managed to take the Arrow out of the Spartan, and he managed to get himself back up.
All the Persians started riding Kuda towards the Spartans.
"Today, no Spartan dies" Leonardis berkata to his men.
As the Persians got closer all the Spartans started throwing fruits at them, knocking the Persians off Kuda and the fallen Persian died when all other Kuda ran ontop of him.
When the Persians got wait up to them, the Spartans started intensely killing them.
Narrator: We did what we enjoy to do. What we were trained to do. What we roti to do. What we were computer animated to do. What we green screened to do. What we were chosen to do. What we dressed up to do. What we were filmed to do. what we were BORN to do.. No prisoners.. No mercy.. A good start.
Leonardis and his soldiers where walking over hundreds of thousands of Persian corpes.
They where stabbing their spears into Persians that where still breathing.
Leonardis himself was eating a fresh apple.
"Our Arcadian allies, are bagging for a crack at the Persians ser" Captain said.
"Good" Leonardis berkata grinning.
At one point, Stalio ran over, informing them of a small unit of Persians have been spotted, far to small to be a attack.
"Alright, I'll have a word with them" Leonardis said.
"I... I don't know about that ser" Stalio berkata nervously.
"Relax dear boy, they assassinate me, all of Sparta goes to war... Pray they are not stupid... Prey... Where that luck" Leonardis said.
No response.
"Besides, there's no reason we can't be friendly, is there"
"None ser" Captain said, after stabbing his spear into one of the still breathing Persians.
Leonardis met with Xerxes himself.
Leonardis was clearly amazed with how tall Xerxes was, asking him i. He ever tried basketball, but Xerxes never gave a answer.
"Lesson, I'm getting real tired of slaughtering all of your men, why can't anda just leave Sparta alone" Leonardis said.
"It was anda who started this war, all I wanted was submission" Xerxes said.
"Why should I bow to you, my unnaturally tall friend?"
Xerxes began telling of how he can give Leonardis all that his hati, tengah-tengah desires.
"Still not convinced... anda see, I always had problems with people over 8 feet. It'll be only a matter of time before I randomly cut off your legs so that problem will no longer be my personal issue... Besides... The idea of bowing in front you.. Its possible I might accidantly see under your pointer" Leonardis said.
Xerxes was now angered, as he said. "There will be no glory in your sacrifice... I will erase even the memorie of Sparta from histories, every piece of Greek parsement shall be burnt, Every Greek historian shall have there eyes put out and there tongues cut from there mouths... Why, uttering the very name of Sparta, OR! Leonardis, shall be punishable sejak death... The world will never know anda existed at all" (Real line, that was used in the scene)...
"The world will know that we fought as freemen, that few stood against many... And that before this is over, that even a God king like yourself, can bleed" Leonardis replied, menunjukkan no fear of Xerxes.
Back with the rest of the Spartans.
Stalio and Astinion were helping each other though the remaining Persian corpes, into a huge pile everyone was making.
"You fought well yesterday... For a woman" Starlio teased.
They both laughed.
"But anda still need to be faster for future battles" Starlio added.
"Maybe I moved so fast, anda couldn't see me" Astinion replied.
"Don't gay it up" Stalio teased.
Astinion didn't replied.
Suddenly Leonardis appeared, motioning for everyone to regroup around him.
they all looked back.
"Unless I was miss lead, we're in for one wild night" Leonardis said, witch at this point the pile of bodies, revealed to be made as a huge dinding of dead Persians.
Late that night.
The sounds of nearby drums where heard.
Suddenly revealed was a bunch of ninja like soldiers, in fancy looking armor.
Narritor: They have served dark will of Perisa kings for five hundred of years.Eyes as dark as night. Teeth, filer to fangs.. Soulless. The deadliest fight force in all of Asia..The IMMORTALS
The leader of the Immortal solders held up a arm, in a 'hold up' motion.
The drumming has stopped.
They all took out their weopions, when they saw the dinding of bodies.
Most had double Kanata's.
The god king betrayed a fatal flaw.
Hubris.
Easy to taunt, easy to trick.
Xerxes, has taken the bait.
"SPARTANS! PUSH!" Leonardis suddenly cried out.
And at that, he and as his men pushed down the huge dinding of bodies, witch all fell on the seeming commander of the Immortals, and at that the battle began.
Immortals.. We put there name to the test..
As the Immortal commander tried getting out of all the bodies, Leonardis easily stabbed its head off, and as he earlier mentioned doing, he pointed it to the other Immortals screaming "WOULD anda LOOK AT THAT!"
Stalio managed to stabe his spear into two of the Immortal's at once.
Leonardis smashed a enemies face against a nearby pole, killing him.
One Spartan soldier stabbed his sword into the stomach of one of the Immortals.
Anouther Spartan touched swords with one of the Immortals, then managed to stabe him across most of the Immortal solder's chest, killing him. But suddenly anouther Immortal smashed a empty menanggung, bear bottle onto the Spartan's head, from behind, knocking the Spartan on his knees in pain.
Leonardis grabbed a banana, and beat a Immortal warrior to death with it, then he pealed and managed to eat the still fresh banana, and threw the peal onto a enemies face somehow knocked the Immortal soldier off it's feet, and it ended up accidentlly getting itself cut through a large sharp rock, and instantly died.
Dilos stabbed his sword into a Immortal, killing it.
The Spartan who was knocked onto knees after getting hit with a empty bir bottle, had a Immortal stabe a sword into the Spartans neck, snapping his neck intensely before he fell down dead.
Captain managed to kill quite a few Immortals with his sword and shield.
"FATHER!" Astinion cried out in warning, ableing the Captain to notice a Immortal trying to leap onto him, and the Captain blocked him sejak smashing his shield against it. Both Captain and Astinion ended up stabbing the enamy. Captain looked at his son, seeming impressed.
A Immortal threw himself into the air kicking both feet, but ended up looking like a fool, as nobody was their for him to kick down.
Anouther Spartan was killed as three atau four Immortals grabbed onto him like wild monkeys atau whatever, and as he was down the bunch of them started stabbing him repeated times.
Dilos seemed to be making great progress killing through many Immortals.
A huge troll like, 10 foot, deranged and monster like, muscular warrior.. Known as Giant. Is wanting to be let out of his many chains so he can sertai the fight.
One of the Immortals motions for him to be released, and so, all his chains started getting broke, setting him free.
Dilos containued stabbing though the Immortals around him.
He touched swords with one and ended up punching it's mask like topi keledar off.
Dilos couldn't help but so fear as he released these 'Immortals' where barely even human, but instead ape like, monsters, witch growled at Dilos after getting its mask taken off, it then threw Dilos, under his moment of weakness onto the ground.
Giant, shown that he barelly cared for his own men, as he killed a few that we're in his way.
The maskless Immortal was about to finish off Dilos, but Leonardis came along and stabbed his spear into the enemies neck, and again in its stomach, killing it.
Leonardis then helped Dilos back up.
Giant charged at Dilos and Leonardis, somehow finding a unnaturally large chain saw.
Dilos thought fast and pushed his king out of harms way, nearly lossing his own life, as he briefly fought Giant, with his sword, and ended up being kicked a long ways away.
And now it was Leonardis who had to fight Giant, but Leonardis wasn't actually standing much chance, he was thrown on the ground.
However at that moment Giant tripped on something from the ground, and ended having a grousome and bloody death, as the large chainsaw fell onto his chest ripping him up, as he was screaming from off view.
"ARCADIAN! NOW!" Leonardis cried out suddenly.
Daxos and his units saw the battlefield.
"Come! Lets tunjuk the Spatans what we can do!" he cried to his men, and they all ran to their enamys yelling like excited little childrun.
Daxos somehow managed to find a MP40, and killed many of the Immortals sejak blind firing, all while still yelling.
The Arcadians where yelling nonestop while attacking, still making them seem like small childrun.
And still, Daxos and his many men where cutting though many of the Immortals.
One Arcadian screamed and angrily pointed at a Immortal soldier, but stangely did nothing else.
Anouther Arcidian yelled as he ran up to a Immortal soldier and smashed a old computer against its head, killing it.
The Spartans started helping them out. And eventually the Immortals where all defeated and killed.
Xerxes watched from up high, feeling worryness, as he realized his best soldiers where defeated in such ways.
All the Spartans where celebrating, having successfully won anouther battle.
"To King Leonardis!" Stalio berkata holding up his drink atau whatever he had.
"HAWHOO!" All the others cheered out.
"And our honered dead!" Stalio added.
"HAWHOO!"
"There is nothing that can stop us now!" Captain added.
"HAWHOO! HAWHOO! HAWHOO!"
LATER THE seterusnya DAY!
The Persians where shown rising huge eliphants.
Seriously though, despite the over the bahagian, atas size, this idea isn't FULLY made up.
Not even joking. The Persians used F***in elephants!
I'm serious, look it up on the internet!
Uhhh, anyway...
All the Spartans managed to scare the eliphants into falling off the edge, killing themselves, and all the Persians riding ontop of them.
In anouther battle seqense the Perisans had huge rino like creature run at the Spartans, but serprisingly Astinion managed to take it down without much effert.
But the Persians weren'dfinished yet. They started throwing magic at the Spartans, eventually though, Stalio managed to kill all the Persian magic users.
In anouther battle seqence Astinion and Stalios where standing back to back, basically as they were intensely defeating a huge amount of Persian attackers.
Stalio throw one down and farted on its face.
Astinion stabbed three at once.
Stalio cut onces head off, and stabbed anouther through the stomach.
Astinion beat a Persian to death with a Rawak rubber ducky.
Stalio killed untill there was only two Persians left.
Astinion twisted the arm of one, making stabe his pisau into the other, then killed the broken armed Persian sejak snapping its neck.
All was silent know the fight was over for the moment.
In a touching moment, the Captain at his son after seeing his honorable fighting talents, Astinion smiled back, but the moment was ruined when some Rawak Persian rider and cut Astinions head off.
lebih Persian soldiers ran over.
Captain, went nuts and intensely killed the full group in a matter of seconds.
He then kneed down to his dead son, and started screaming angrily, until all the other Persians had to hold him back.
Narrator: The Captains crys of anger for his sons death, is lebih frightening to the enamy then the deepiest battle drum.
Persian soldiers where lessoning to the Captains angry cries, but had abuslty NO fear on their faces, just blank stares.
Narritor: The hari is ours.. But no songs where sung.
Ephailian arrived in a Persian headquarters.
Where he agreed to sertai with Xerxes in exchange of a uniform, plus the promise of woman a wealth.
Daxos and his Arcadian soldiers got news of a huge Persian army approching, one to large for them to handle.
"Would anda stop complaining... God, your even lebih annoying then Gerard Butler" Leonardis cried.
"Firstly I don't think your in a position to be mocking that guy, secondly we CAN'T WIN THIS TIME! We have to retreat" Daxos replied.
"We never retreat, we are, (shakes Daxos), SPARTAAAANS!" Leonardis cried.
"Maybe he's right, ser"
"What was that Dilos!" Leonardis cried.
"I Lost my god damn eye ser! I don't want to fight no more" Dilos said.
"Are anda dening the chance to spill pointless blood, in overly large battles, we never stop fighting in, what is wrong with you!" Leonardis cried.
"I'm just saying, there's lebih to life then killing an-
"GET OUT! GET OUT WAIT NOW!" Leonardis angrily screamed at Dilos, who nervously started to ran off.
"Have anda gone mad!" Daxos cried.
"Yes, yes I have!" Leonardis cried back.
"Well, we are out of here!" Daxos cried, riding off with all the Arcadians.
Leonardis cart, troli up with Dilos before he left.
Saying he wanted to tell his wife that he won't be coming back, and that he hopes his people shall remember him.
"I'll give the messages ser, I promise" Dilos said.
"Good... Just make sure, I'm not remember sejak a stupid 'Greek Hero Cult... And that anda don't end this story sejak leading ten thousand Spartans against the Persians" Leonardis said.
"I'll remember that ser" Dilos said.
LATER AGAIN!
Leonardis and the remaining Spartans watched everyone leave.
"Spartans! Ready your plates, and eat harty, BECAUSE! TONIGHT! WE DINE! IN HELL!" Leonardis cried out.
"Tonight, but I'm too tired" Captain complained.
"Fine, but... Tomarrow morning, we're dine, in-
"What about breakfast?" Asked Stalio.
"After that! We're din-
"I'll have to sharpen my spear first" berkata one of the Spartans.
"Eventually! We're dine, in... AHH! FORGET IT!" Leonardis cried, in childish anger.
Leonardis and his men were surrended sejak thousands and thousands of Persians.
A Persian commander told Leonardis he can anything that he and his Brave men could even want, all they have to do is surwanded to Xerxes.
"Okay, I give in" Leonardis berkata putting his hands up.
"Really!" The commander asked excitedly.
"HELL NO!" Leonardis screamed, and shot the Persian commander with a desert eagle.
"KILL THEM!" Xerxes angrily screamed to his men.
And all the Persians started firing hundreds of arrows killing most of the Spartans.
Captain got stabbed with various spears, but he still managed the kill many Persians before dying himself.
Leonardis got a Arrow shot into his shoulder. "HAHAHA! IS THAT anda GOT!" He cried to the Persians. Anouther Arrow flew into his stomach. "YOU MAKE ME SAD KIDS!" Leonardis mocked to the Persians.
A Persian was shown firing anouther Arrow into Leonardis who was off view now. "WHAT ARE YOU! SOLDIERS, atau LITTLE GIRLS!" Leonardis cried, still from off view.
Leonardis managed to api, kebakaran a spear at Xerxes mouth, and cut his mouth, giving the large God king fear, as he was reminded that he was mortal.
Leonardis was hit with anouther Arrow ad finally started falling down in pain.
He was on his knees, seterusnya to where Stalios was laying, as he was still but barely alive.
Leonardis allowed Stalio to hold his hand before dying. "It is a honor to die at your side" was all Stalio said. "And it was a honor, to have lived at yours" Leonardis replied.
Leonardis only the strange to say his last words.
"HA BLA BICK!" He cried.
All the Persians looked at each other in clear confusion.
"HA BLA BLA! SHEER MA TO BOA, SON CENCEAL!" Leonardis cried out, before getting hit with thousands of Persian arrows.
A FEW YEARS, atau SO, LATER!
Despite it not being what Leonardis wanted.
He was remembered as a Hero Cult.
And Dilo lead ten thousand Spartans against the Persians.
This is the end of the story.
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