I can still remember the disappointment in those hazel eyes the moment I told him I was leaving. I couldn't stay - I had no choice. I still can't decide whether it hurt lebih to leave him, atau to know I had been the one who caused the pain. What was I supposed to do? This child needed guidance and protection now lebih than ever, and I couldn't help him. For so long I had been the one to console him - make him feel selamat, peti deposit keselamatan - and it was coming to an end. It was... the rule.

"I need to go away, Alex. It's what imaginary Friends do. We take a... self vacation and just do whatever we feel like doing." I was digging my own hole of guilt sejak lying to this little boy; the boy I had grown to Cinta and call my own. His mother was MIA. His sister was away at school. His father... gone. My hati, tengah-tengah raced, tears stinging my eyes. For a moment I could feel my throat tighten. You're breaking his heart... "I don't know when I'll be back. Until I return, anda have to promise me you'll take care of yourself, the way I taught you. Can anda do that for me?" He didn't say anything. He just stared at me with those eyes that were far too effective for his age. If I had been telah diberi the chance, I would've taken him anywhere he wanted to go. He was mine, and I was his. This child had stolen my heart.

Who was I to hurt such a precious, innocent soul? He was unlike the other children I had helped throughout the years, without a doubt. There was absolutely no comparison. It wasn't an attraction, of course - it was simply undeniable respect and affection. Acceptance. He held so many qualities fit for someone twice his age and gifts one could only wish for. Sadly, I was the only one who saw this. I cursed all those who let him down and now, somehow, I was slowly becoming the very thing I hated. I swore no one would ever hurt him again. I was the one person he looked up to the most, and I suddenly wished I wasn't.

In a desperate attempt to save both of us and redeem the situation, I snaked my arms around him and pulled him close to me as I had many times before. This time, though, had so much lebih meaning. It was painfully obvious to myself I didn't want to leave, and for a saat I thought maybe I couldn't. I couldn't leave him. Not now, not like this. It had to be done, though. Sooner atau later, he would've changed before my eyes into a young man and no longer need me, like a toy outgrown. I kept this thought with me, this reality, as I released him from the welcoming arms he knew so well.

"I have to go now, sweetheart." I closed my eyes and kissed the bahagian, atas of his head. With a tight jaw and burning eyes, I rose from my place on the katil to make my way towards the door, letting his hand slip from my own. What I witnessed as I turned to face him for the last time would haunt me forever; a single tear rolling down his cheek, silently begging me not to go.

Alexander had always been a bright, intriguing child. I seldom called him Alexander - only when I was being serious atau stern - but instead, "Lex", as he had called me "Jay". Lord, words couldn't describe how much I loved that child. Like a parent so utterly amazed sejak the life they had created, I was drawn to Alexander. I was proud of him in ways his parents couldn't feel, impressed in ways they'd never express. Every morning I'd walk him to school, wait for him in the same spot every afternoon, then take him home, sometimes stopping at the playground atau for an ice cream. Whatever Lex wanted, jay would make it happen. He needed me, I was there.

When the relationship he never really had with his mother and stepfather officially came crashing down, my shoulder was his pillow. Although he had reached the age where stories about goldfishes and leprechauns were no longer as effective, I always tried my hardest to cheer him up. That was my duty, right? I liked to believe so. The pills he was obliged to menelan every morning wasn't the medication he needed and both his 'parents' and doctor were too blind to see this - I wasn't. Nothing warmed my hati, tengah-tengah lebih than to see that little face of his light up from my stories and the selamat, peti deposit keselamatan haven that had been my arms. In my eyes, Alexander was just a pained soul too young to heal itself.

My little pep talks before the start of each hari seemed to help him for a time. Once thirteen was just around the corner, I could sense some changes in the boy, which made it even harder to bring myself to say those three painful words; I'm leaving you. I was afraid to let him go, leave him in the world that treated him so unkindly. However, I always believed in Alexander. I taught him well, he'd be fine. I had to convince myself of this in just enough time before it was too late, but that horrible, unforgettable night came sooner than I could ever imagine, and I prayed for one lebih hari with him.