Im a fan, and I honestly dont understand why people think he's abusive.

In order for abuse to take place, there actually has to be a victim.

Edward did something she didn't want him to do, what, twice? Are people only supposed to have "picture perfect" relationships where the man wears a leash and collar and does absolutely evenything the woman asks, regardless of how stupid her decision may seem to him?

I'd consider it abusive if Edward encouraged Bella to go play with all the evil, wild, merderous dogs (that's how he saw them) while he sits at home doing nothing, not caring.

He followed her wherever she went, controlled where she went, made sure she was with him every second of every day, and stopped her from seeing who she wanted to see. If that's not abuse, I don't know what is.

I agree with TriaRose.

He only stopped her from visiting Jacob, and it was only a couple times.

made sure she was with him every second of every day
This is actually not even true. you're exaggerating.

It's called hyperbole. But he did make sure she was with him most of the time.

I know it's a hyperbole, but you can't use a hyperbole to prove a point, unless you're trying to mock it.

Watching someone sleep is violating privacy, and the right to decide who comes in your house, and when.

How is that abuse?

Also, I think people tend to forget that Edward is a VAMPIRE. Sneaking into girl's bedrooms is common in vampire fiction.
I hardly ever watched Buffy, but I do remember one scene where Angel sneaks into Buffy's room, draws a picture of her sleeping, then leaves.

This is a vampire trope. A vampire sneaks into a young woman's bedroom to feed on a virgin. As he's about to, a looks at her and sees how innocent/pure/beautiful she is, then he contemplates on what he should do. He usually stays with her until morning, or just leaves. Sometimes he'll just kill her, though.

It's funny how people like to complain that vampires in Twilight aren't really vampires, but when any of them behaves like a vampire, you get comments like "That's an invasion of privacy! Stop it right now! That's so abusive! You're promoting abusive behavior!"

No, it's not abusive behavior. It's vampire behavior.

Thing is, Edward didn't sneak in on her to eat her. He snuck in to watch her sleep. That's an invasion of privacy. And (though this is slightly off topic) I'd be willing to bet that if it had been Eric or Mike sneaking in to watch Bella sleep, she would have freaked and put a stop to it. I think it was only because Edward was so gorgeous that she didn't mind.

He snuck in to kill her, but he stopped because she said his name in her sleep. He then sat in her rocking chair and watched her until right before she woke up.

And what's so wrong with liking Edward more than Mike or Eric?
But again with the forgetting... Mike and Eric are not vampires. Edward is. Mike and Eric have no reason to sneak into girl's rooms at night.

Does he say he snuck in to kill her? I'm asking (not accusing) because I haven't read the book in a while, so I was just wondering if I was wrong.

As for liking Edward better, I just think it's kind of shallow. I mean, Eric and Mike were nice boys who talked to her and helped her throughout her day, but she passed them off as annoying and clingy. Then when she saw Edward, she became instantly obsessed with him, even though he didn't say two words to her and was a major jerk. That was when I first started to hate Bella, because I saw that she was shallow.

This scene is in Midnight Sun.

Sorry, but I fail to see how liking someone because you find them interesting more than a couple eager beavers who are obviously only talking to her because she's new is shallow. People make is seem like you have to go around dating every guy you know just so you don't come across as shallow for picking one guy over another.
She didn't really like him too much in the beginning. She was snarky and sarcastic with him, and she wanted to run him over with her truck. He was just intriguing, mostly because of the way he behaved around her.

Hes not abusive, Hes just a bit overprotective.

He is abusive. I saw something in an article ( link ) and you might want to read the part where it says Edward is abusive.
1) Admits to hitting women in the past. Hitting? Try ripping them to shreds and setting them on fire. While Bella’s watching. If that doesn’t sound any warning bells, then I don’t know what would.
2) Shows up unannounced at your job, home, or places you visit. Oh, you mean like her bedroom? In the middle of the night? To watch her sleep? Creep.

3) May offer to take you to any of these places on a daily basis so that you may grow dependent on him. Kind of like how he insists on driving her to school, back home, to work, to Jacob’s – that is, before he flatly refuses to let her leave the house, which takes us to numbers 4, 5 and 6:

4) When you want to visit with a friend, go out to the movies or some other past time, he oftentimes vehemently objects or he uses tactics to make you feel guilty so that you will stay home. Need I remind you how many times he didn’t let Bella go wherever she wanted, including her best friend’s house, because it was “dangerous”?

5) When he is angry with you he keeps you in a room with no access to a phone. He may lock you in the room. Like the numerous times that he claimed he was “protecting” her, by not letting her visit her friends, call her family, etc. Which is especially obvious in the fourth book, when he takes her to a desert island and doesn’t let her have any contact with any of her friends or family, all to “protect” them.

6) He threatens to commit suicide when you try to break up with him. I really don’t think that I need to explain this one. Stephanie Meyer did an excellent job drilling it into our heads.

7) He doesn't like who he is and makes regular references about himself as being "stupid," "ugly," "dumb," and asks you, "Why do you want to be with me?" Again, self-explanatory. Just substitute the word “monster,” “killer,” and “murderer” for “stupid,” “ugly,” and “dumb.”

8) He expects you to call him wherever you go and will become angry if you don't. Again, this is only to protect her, of course. Because poor, defenseless Bella can’t even be trusted to spend some quality time with her friends without somehow almost getting herself killed.

Oh, don't worry. i've read that article. It's really funny.

1. Edward did not hit women... He killed a vampire who was trying to kill Bella. Don't you think just leaving her alone, letting her kill Bella would be worse? I honestly can't understand how anyone could possibly think that makes any sense.

2. I don't see how showing up unannounced is abusive. I think it's cute. Unless she specifically tells him not to come, or knows ahread of time that she is busy.
None of that applies to Edward and Bella, though. In fact, Edward told her that if she didn't want him to come over, she could just close her window.

3. This one, maybe, but I understand where he was comming from and I supported his decisions.

4. Again, that happened about twice, and for a vary good reason. If I was a guy and had a girlfriend that wanted to go hang out with drug dealing gangsters who's place gets shot up every other day, would it be abusive of me to try to stop her? I don't think so. That is sort of how he viewed the wolves.

5. Lol, where did that even come from? So now going to a private beach is abusive? Bella was the one who wanted to stay for so long. Edward was not angry at her. They had cell phones. She was not locked up anywhere. That's just ridiculous.

7. I think all that was more of a warning. Edward never made it seem like she was the only one who could ever love him, making her feel guilty if she ever wanted to leave. They both knew a whole bunch of girls liked Edward.

8. I don't see where that happened at all.

Okay so I personally don't like Edward one bit, but do i think him abusive? No. Do i think Edward is controling? yes. Does Bella like these qualities in a man? yes. I think edward is excuse my french an @$$hole and i couldn't date him no matter how beautiful he was, but he is not abusive. Hardheaded, annoying, controling, and creepy yes but not abusive, He believed what he was doing was honestly the best desicison.

He came from a time where women were sweet and listened to everything their husband or father told them. He probably doesn't really think of what he is doing because that is how he was raised and everyone around him was raised. He isn't doing these things to be mean or cruel he is doing these things because he wants Bella safe. Bella is meek and quiet but she will probably get more of backbone being around her new sister in-laws. This is the only way Edward knows how to act and Bella ended up doing what she wanted anyway. If this was abuse she would have been to afraid of Edward or Edward would have physically removed Bella from Jacob.

So my oppinon on Edward Abusive? No. Controling, old fashioned, ignorant, and stubborn? yes.

"He came from a time where women were sweet and listened to everything their husband or father told them." No. The late 1910s were the biggest for the suffrage movement for women's votes. Most women were meek, but men, especially from big cities, knew what women could do.

1. I used to be a twilight (book) fan but haven't been since I discovered the "downside" of the twilight saga.
2. I don't think that what Edward Cullen does is right in any way. It's abusive and it's WRONG!
3. I don't care that he was born in the beginning of the 20th century, he "lives" in the 21th century. If the books had been written during the 19th century/beginning of the 20th century (or earlier) I wouldn't care that much, but this is the 21th century and we are in the third wave of feminism!
4. If Edward trully love Bella he would let her do as she wishes, not control her every move!
5. I think Bella should talk with Edward but if it doesn't work she should leave him immediately.

1. Are you trying to respond to my response, or are you just saying things, because the rest make sense, this is just random.

2. Says you, i guess. I don't mind when someone visits without calling.

3. I don't care much about feminism either way, so whatever.

4. Actually, if he truly loved her, we would do what he could to protect her from the vampire who was trying to kill her and the group of wolves who could kill her, which is why he drove he around.

5. Looks like it did work out, so no worries there.

I'm not sure I would use the word 'abusive'. I do think he is controlling, and I think he thinks that he knows best for Bella because he is a century older, and her inputs and opinions are simply as cute as a four year old's.

I don't think Edward abusive. I don't really understand why people say that. He didn't beat Bella to death or insult her.
I also think that it was normal for Edward not wanting Bella to see Jacob at first since vampires and werewolves are not really friendly with each other. To me, he's overprotective but nobody is perfect.

I'm not a Twilight fan and I don't think Edward's behaviour as abusive. If anything he behaves like a stalker and is way too obsessed about Bella. Maybe he's too controlling, but seriously Bella is not really smart, so I can see where he comes from. What I fail to understand is why he likes Bella at all.

i don't get why people compare a vampire with normal humans?
vampire are very much different in behaviour than humans and everything heightens for them and that include feeling too..if edward is abusive than why no one blames bella?.....she can tell him to stop this over portective attitude and let her live a life outside super natural creatures but she herself finds it so comforting......she hardly tells him off.....she actually wants him to be everywhere she is except for la push ....i find bella weird....she seems to have no human emotions in her......she wants edward even at night while sleeping.....she herself doesn't want any privacy in her life.....normal humans want distractions too.....they try to balance everything but bella is just inclined to one thing-supernaturals......she doesn't even consider her friends worthy for her company or attention...how rude!!!
edward and bella literally spend each minute of their day together.....why doesn't bella tell edwad to go back to his own house at night at least or why can't she spend one night with her father specially when it's her graduation? it's all edward or jacob.....he doesn't think anything beyond of that....so irritiating
edward is puhsy and very over protective in nature but even bella should learn to tell him off and stop using love as an excuse