Harry Potter vs. Twilight 1000 Reasons Why Harry Potter Is Better Than Twilight

lauracullen66 posted on Aug 27, 2009 at 01:29PM
just start at one and see if you can get 1000

Harry Potter vs. Twilight 54807 balas

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hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
last night I turned off my computer at 5.15 am, so the lateness of the time doesn't really bother me.
hampir setahun yang lalu boolander25 said…
LOL 3-way.
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Well, I have a 2-week break, with not much homework, except for a Health project, and a pile of maths stuff from SMT.
hampir setahun yang lalu boolander25 said…
My schools needs a break. And it's just the beginning of the year!
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
big smile
they totally should.
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Le gasp. :O

Wait... do you live in England or America?
hampir setahun yang lalu boolander25 said…
America. I would say I'm proud, but recently, our country sucks. NEW PAGE PARTY!
last edited hampir setahun yang lalu
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Oh. I wanna live in America. I did for 5 years, but then I was forced back to Australia, where's there's no... no HOT TOPIC!!! *bawls* JK. But I do wanna go back.
hampir setahun yang lalu boolander25 said…
No HT? How dreadful! Just visit America, it's better than living here.
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
I have before, and my cousin's going to live there next year :)
hampir setahun yang lalu boolander25 said…
You live in England right?
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Yeah. I'd probably get addicted to hamburgers again. :P But I don't really like high school here. It's so... nice. It's kinda creepy, how Australians are nicer than Americans. I can handle, "Hey, watch it, punk!" But when it comes down to, "Hi, nice to meet you" I feel like running and screaming.

Oh, and I can't forget the canteen addicts here. I swear, they practically want the bang the canteen.
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
No... we live in Australia.
hampir setahun yang lalu boolander25 said…
lol I haven't seen a canteen since I was like, 5.
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Gasp. :O
hampir setahun yang lalu boolander25 said…
Oh you both live in Australia? I fail. Hard. And it wasn't even a real canteen. It was fake, like a dress up game canteen. LOL I'm so lame.
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
big smile
coz we're cool like that.
 coz we're cool like that.
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…

I need advice: Should I continue this fanfic? It's a Twilight hate-fic, BTW:

Somewhere on a street in the small town of Forks, a certain whiny Mary-Sue called Isabella Swan (though don’t call her that. Her precious ears can’t take it) walked through her front door, humming happily. Usually she had something not-really-wrong wrong in her life that she would bitch about to herself, but now was a special moment. Why? Because she had just visited her boyfriend Edward Cullen.

Edward Cullen just warmed her up and made the bad and chagrining things in life go away. Kinda like drugs. Except Edward was more perfect than drugs. Edward was even more perfect than perfect. If that was possible.

Sighing at the thought of his scintillating skin, Bella collapsed onto her bed and closed her eyes, dreaming sweet, blissful dreams of Edward and her frolicking in a meadow...

...At first, that is.


The meadow and her precious Edward morphed quickly into a bar she didn’t recognize. Bella whimpered softly and sat down on a seat, waiting for her sparkle-pire boyfriend like the typical damsel-in-distress that she was.

“He’s not coming; he’s gone. Y’know. ‘Gone’.” a voice said behind her. An old wrinkly man flashed her a toothless smile. Bella stared back at him with chagrin. He’s gone? As in dead? Her life was ruined. Waaah.

“Where’s the nearest cliff, sir?” She asked, getting ready to bawl with all her pent-up wangst (not angst. Never angst. Bella’s too ‘cool’ for angst).

“Please, call me Tom. And just go outside and turn to your left. Have a nice day.”

Bella walked outside, in a daze, when suddenly, a red bolt flew towards her direction. Being a Mary-Sue, she squealed, and also being a Mary-Sue, someone protected her just in time. This someone being another old man, this time a taller one with a nicely grown beard.

“Ah, Voldemort,” the old man said calmly. Vold-a-what? Bella thought. “Terrorizing Diagon Alley, now, are we? Seems a bit petty.”

A guy stepped away from the shadows and lowered his black hood. Bella let out a scream. He had pale skin, like Edward’s (*drool*), and red eyes, like a newborn vamp. His face was very weird, like a snake’s face. He was absolutely horrible. Except for the skin. Though it didn’t sparkle.

“Enough with the formality, Dumbledore,” he snapped. “Let’s get on with it. Your momma’s so fat that she’s blocks the sunlight from your house so all your plants wilt and drop dead! DEAD!”

“Bitch, please.” Dumbledore scrunched up his face and exclaimed, “Your momma’s so poor that she’s the chairlady of the Wizarding Beggar’s Association!”

“Your momma’s so dumb that she uses her wand as a toilet plunger!”

“Your momma’s so ugly that my momma is now in therapy!”

“Puh-lease! Your momma’s only in therapy because she’s so fat and dumb!”

Bella backed away slowly and ran away, frantically searching for the cliff that the old man was talking about. She, having clumsy as her only flaw, tripped over a teensy-weensy pebble, rolled down a ditch, and hit her head on a tree trunk, finally stopping. She groaned, longed for Edtard, I mean, uh, -ward, and stood up, inspecting her surroundings.

She was in a forest. A big forest. Except that the trees had no leaves; they were just bare leaves. Even though the two had nothing in common, Bella was suddenly reminded of Edward, his head popping up in her small, psychotic, deserves-to-be-checked-up-on-regularly-by-­a-s­hri­nk mind.

She trudged ahead, ignoring the pain in her leg, or the creepy shadows that the trees cast, or the fact that when she rolled down she accidentally squashed and killed a baby bird. No, all she could think of was joining Edward. Some would call it selfishness. Bella calls it ‘badassness!1!!’

Bella was about to give up on searching for the cliff when she heard voices. Arguing voices. Very mad-sounding arguing voices that could possibly have belonged to serial killers.
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
everyone... I'm trying my first red vine.
I hope it tastes good :)
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
it tastes weird, but not in a bad way. it kinda tastes like lamingtons, strangely enough.
hampir setahun yang lalu boolander25 said…
LMAO yo momma jokes call for continuation.
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Um... Okay? But I ran out of ideas. I promised an FF friend I would fit in a Mayday Parade concert, but that's it. :P
hampir setahun yang lalu boolander25 said…
I liked it. Satirical humor is always awesome.
hampir setahun yang lalu boolander25 said…
Well I have to go to bed now. Night all!
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Yay, thanx. :3 I was doing another hate-fic at the time as well:

Chapter 1: Harry Potter
Me: *walks out from the side* Hello, and welcome to NTTS: Interviews! I’m Dancing and I’ll be your host for tonight!

*cue applause from Antis and boos from Twihards*

Me: Now, the purpose of this show is to point out Twilight’s flaws from a fictional character’s point of view. I know that the authors and rightful owners of them would be disgraced at Twilight as well, but I don’t know any of them personally, so I decided to pick their characters to represent them!

*more applause mixed with booing*

Me: Okay, that’s enough. So, let’s give it up for our very first guests, the Golden Trio who defeated the dark lord, Harry Potter, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger!

*Harry, Ron, and Hermione walk out and sit on couch that magically appeared*

Me: Welcome to the show, guys. As the British say, “How do you do?”

Hermione: Actually, we don’t really say that. You must have been watching too much TV about our muggle stereotypes. But thank you, and I’m very good, thanks.

Harry: Fine. Though practicing for this interview, on top of taking care of three kids and catching Death Eaters, I’m pretty tired out.

Ron: I found an extra freckle on my face today.

Me: Interesting. Not. So, have all of you read the whole series

Hermione: Yes. After a week.

Harry: I’m halfway through Breaking Dawn.

Ron: I finished the first book and couldn’t be arsed to read the rest.

Hermione: Really, Ron, your language is atrocious.

Me: Yeah, you potty-mouth.

Ron: Why does everyone gang up on me?

Me: You’re the Ginger Kid, like Edward Cullen. Which brings me to a few questions I have to ask you.

Hermione: Makes sense. After all, this is an interview.

Me: Right. Well, what was your opinion of the first book?

Harry: Well, it started out fine, with Bella being all noble and in mortal danger- I know how that feels like –but then it became a whole sickening love story between Bella and that vampire, Edward, with all the other characters pushed aside.

Ron: And I know how that feels.
Harry: Yes. And then it suddenly became something nobody could relate to. No-one could sympathise with the main character, Bella. I mean, you can’t have true love, bang, just like that.

Hermione: Following up on Harry’s ‘true love’ reasoning, may I point out that the only two reasons why Edward falls in love with her is that a) he can’t read her mind, and b) Bella’s blood is sweet.

Me: True dat.

Ron: And the first 200 pages were full of mystery about Edward Cullen, and who he really is and all that. But the back cover says, right in the second sentence, that he was a vampire. Just like that. Blimey, Steph Meyer is pretty ignorant for a muggle author who ‘supposedly’ graduated from school.

Hermione: Personally, I think she skipped that day in English when they said, “if the first 200 pages of your novel relied on a main character’s true colours being hidden, don’t just slap on the back cover that he’s a vampire”.

Me: You’ve given us a lot to think about, guys. What about the second book?

Ron: What about it? I haven’t read it. I have seen the cover though. That’s one weird-looking flower, and that’s coming from a guy who grew bubotubers in Herbology.

Hermione: *rolls eyes* Ron, haven’t you ever heard of the phrase, “Don’t judge a book by its cover”?

Ron: *silence, for once*

Hermione: Anyways, the second book, was, if possible, worse than the first book. It starts with Bella whining about how she’s eighteen and Edward’s seventeen.

Me: Technically, he’s over 100. Which is EW x a million. It’d be like Dumbledore humping Susan Bones.

Everyone: *shudders at the mental image*

Ron: My eyes are burning! Bloody hell!

Harry: Then Bella being depressed for 4 months. Which was kind of a downer.

Hermione: You forgotten the poorly written party scene.

Harry: Oh, yeah. Jasper going crazy over a little blood, then the whole family disappearing. Again. Like in the whole of the first book.

Me: Then Bella being depressed.

Hermione: And then she hangs out with Jacob Black, a minor character from the first book. I kind of feel a bit sorry for him.

Harry: Then he turned out to be a werewolf.

Me: A pedo werewolf, you mean.

Hermione: That comment’s reserved for the fourth book.

Ron: Oh, now I remember, I flipped through a few pages of the second book.

Me: Which part?

Ron: The part where they fight the Volturi. Though you could hardly call it fighting.

Me: Tell me about it. All they did was torture little Eddykins. And that is why I love all of them.

Hermione: There was a certain charisma about them.

Me: Yep. Now, folks, we’re running out of time, so we’ll wrap up the evening with this question: What are the differences between Twilight and Harry Potter that makes the latter better?

Harry: The main thing was me changing throughout the series. From a normal boy to one of the greatest wizards of all time. The characters in Twilight didn’t change one bit. Bella turned into a vampire at the end-

Ron: She did? Blimey, I would’ve thought she died at the end, then Edward and Jacob would realise their love for each other and hook up at her funeral.

Me: You’re kidding, right? This is Twilight we’re talking about. No real plot.

Harry: Like I said, Bella turned into a vampire at the end. And she didn’t change. Her personality didn’t change, anyway.

Hermione: And our books were much more complex. The plot, the characters, everything. Voldemort wasn’t just some guy we had to kill. He had a past we had to decipher.

Ron: And the motives behind acts by them were really messed up.

Me: I definitely agree with you guys. And next time on NTTS: Interviews, we shall have another trio on here! Well, it’s more of a gang, but-

Cameraman: Get on with it!!!

Me: Basically, next time, we shall have the PJO gang here! See ya, and good night all!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand... that’s a wrap! Hope you guys like it! Well, the Antis will probably like it.
Like I said, next time, it shall be the characters from Percy Jackson and the Olympians! More laughs, more criticizing, and plenty of Edward dissing!
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
big smile
is it a bad thing that one redvine made me hyper again?
hampir setahun yang lalu lemony44 said…
Hello ya all!I know I'm late, but hey. Picture war!!
 Hello ya all!I know I'm late, but hey. Picture war!!
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
big smile
LOL put Darren Criss's face where Moldy-shorts is!!!
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
hampir setahun yang lalu lemony44 said…
^Who is that?
 ^Who is that?
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Faith n Willow XD
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
hehe win
 hehe win
hampir setahun yang lalu lemony44 said…
Haha! Well, got to go everybody! btw I'm not a suffy British or a bloody America. Just a plain old good punctual swiss. (I'm always late though...)
 Haha! Well, got to go everybody! btw I'm not a suffy British atau a bloody America. Just a plain old go
hampir setahun yang lalu lemony44 said…
Nighty Night Harry.
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
listening to Darren Criss sing lean on me.
gods, I love that boy.
hampir setahun yang lalu lucius_malloy said…
I too am neither a stuffy Brit or a bloody Yank - Santa Clas Land FTW!
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Santa... you live in the north pole? GOODY!
hampir setahun yang lalu lucius_malloy said…
Santa Claus lives in Finland!!!!!!!
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Oh, Finland?

Hei. Pidän piirakka. Twilight sucks. Nämä ovat tosiasioita!
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
do you ride around on reindeer all the time, or do they pull your sleigh?
do you have a pet elf?
feel free to ask me about any of my stereotypes- I find them funny! :D
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Okay, An-die:

Do you wrestle crocodiles?
Do you hump kangaroos?
Do you hate New Zealand?
hampir setahun yang lalu lucius_malloy said…
Nice GT, GD :D
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
... miten tiesit? Oletko vakoilee minua? AHHHHHHHHH! Stalker hälytys!
hampir setahun yang lalu lucius_malloy said…
No, I haven't stalked you :P it's just that the crappy grammar kind of gives it away :D
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Oh. No sitten.

Pyydän unelma ja eroavat ontto valheita
Tämä on kynnyksellä muualle elämäämme

Kuule rummun hakkaa liian myöhään
Toinen mielenosoittaja on ylittänyt rajan
Voit etsiä rahat toisella puolella

Voinko saada toisen Amen?
Ei lippu kääritty ympärille pisteet miesten
Gag, muovipussi on muistomerkki

Pyydän unelma ja eroavat ontto valheita
Tämä on kynnyksellä muualle elämäämme

Edustaja Kalifornia on puheenvuoro

Zieg Heil puhemiehelle kaasumies
Pommit pois on sinun rangaistus
Suihkutetaan Eiffel tornia
Kuka arvostella hallitusta

Bang, bang menee rikki lasin
Kill kaikki fags jotka eivät ole samaa mieltä
Trials tulipalossa, sytyttämät
Ei tavalla, joka on tarkoitettu minulle
Just Cause, juuri aiheuttaa, koska olemme lainsuojattomia jeah
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
I'm guessing that those are Swedish lyrics to holiday?

guys!!!!! I've accidentally gone and gotten addicted to red vines!!!! D:
hampir setahun yang lalu GemonkDruid said…
Gasp! How did you know???????????????

Haha, Andie is two words: An and die. Muahaha!
hampir setahun yang lalu FredWRules said…
hell yeah!
you think I didn't know that?