0 = Stone cold sober. Brain as sharp as any bayonet.
1 = Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 = Lager warming up head. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.
3 = Crossword in newspaper filled in. After a while blanks are filled in with Rawak letters and numbers.
4 = Barmaid complimented on choice of bra, partially visible when bending to get packet of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of crisps one sejak one.
5 = Have brilliant discussion with guy on the seterusnya bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for winning lottery, sort out Manchester United's problems.
6 = Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cigarette packet. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them anda Cinta them. Call girlfriend to tell her anda Cinta her and she still has an amazing figure.
7 = Send drinks over to woman sitting at meja, jadual with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of Cinta on five koktel napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks anda outside. anda buy him a Slim Panatela.
8 = Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one sejak one. Fall over. Get up.
9 = Head-ache kicks in. bir tastes off. Send it back. seterusnya bottle comes back tasting the same. Say, "That's much better." Fight nausea sejak trying to play old angkasa Invaders game for ten minit before seeing out of order sign.
10 = Some doubling of vision. Stand on meja, jadual shouting abuse at all four barmen. Talked down sejak barmaid, who anda offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.
11 = Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize anda are sitting in pub cellar, having taken wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.
12 = Put in cab sejak somebody. Give utama address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've telah diberi address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.
1 = Still sober. Pleasure senses activated. Feeling of well-being.
2 = Lager warming up head. Barmaid complimented on choice of blouse.
3 = Crossword in newspaper filled in. After a while blanks are filled in with Rawak letters and numbers.
4 = Barmaid complimented on choice of bra, partially visible when bending to get packet of crisps. Try to instigate conversation about bras. Order half a dozen packets of crisps one sejak one.
5 = Have brilliant discussion with guy on the seterusnya bar stool. Devise fool-proof scheme for winning lottery, sort out Manchester United's problems.
6 = Feel like a Demi-God. Map out rest of life on cigarette packet. Realize that everybody loves you. Call parents and tell them anda Cinta them. Call girlfriend to tell her anda Cinta her and she still has an amazing figure.
7 = Send drinks over to woman sitting at meja, jadual with boyfriend. No reaction. Scribble out message of Cinta on five koktel napkins and Frisbee them to her across the room. Boyfriend asks anda outside. anda buy him a Slim Panatela.
8 = Some slurring. Offer to buy drinks for everyone in room. Lots of people say yes. Go round the bar hugging them one sejak one. Fall over. Get up.
9 = Head-ache kicks in. bir tastes off. Send it back. seterusnya bottle comes back tasting the same. Say, "That's much better." Fight nausea sejak trying to play old angkasa Invaders game for ten minit before seeing out of order sign.
10 = Some doubling of vision. Stand on meja, jadual shouting abuse at all four barmen. Talked down sejak barmaid, who anda offer to give a baby to. Fall over. Get up. Fall over. Impale head on corner of table. Fail to notice oozing head wound.
11 = Speech no longer possible. Eventually manage to find door. Sit and take stock. Realize anda are sitting in pub cellar, having taken wrong turning. Vomit. Pass out.
12 = Put in cab sejak somebody. Give utama address. Taken home. Can't get key in door. Realize you've telah diberi address of your local gym. Generally pleased at way evening has gone. Pass out again.