After dying, I went to heaven. Funny story, actually.
So after I got there, I had to wait in this big line! I didn't know what the hell was at the end of it. So about two hours later, I was at the beggining of the line. As it was my turn, I stepped up to a man wearing a flight attendant uniform.
"What's your name, mister?" He asked me
"John Richardson."
"Hmm, John Richardson, 45 years old, shot in the head, you're gonna have to wait for the seterusnya bus."
"Bus?"
"There are busses that take anda to heaven. Now, anda can wait in one of our many lovley shops of caffes."
"Damn."
I walked to a nearby coffee shop, and got a mocachino. I sat at a meja, jadual with a goth girl and an old man.
"So, how did anda guys die? I got shot in the head."
"I commitied scuicide."
"I died of old age."
"Oh. Must suck to be dead, doesen't it."
"I thought being dead was fun."
"OH! MY BACK!"
I walked away from the tabe with my coffe. The goth girl and old man were freaking me out.
I ended up near a Macy's, where I went in to browse. I saw a nice, merah jambu polo shirt. "My wife would've loved this." I said. And then my phone rang to my annoying beeping ringtone. I need to change my ringtone, I thought to myself.
"Hello?"
"The seterusnya bus is here. anda can take it, John
Richardson."
"I'll be right there."
I ran to the bus station, where I coud pass the inspection. I was sitting on the bus.
"Hi and welcome to Heaven Express. This is bus 49121. We will be taking anda to Heaven. Please enjoy the ride." She didn't give us saftey tips. Maybe because we're dead.
The bus ride was rather short and pleasant. Everybody was polite, and the bus was cleaner than my commute bus back in earth. Finnaly, the bus ride was over, and we opened the gate, and...
I woke up in my katil on Earth.
So after I got there, I had to wait in this big line! I didn't know what the hell was at the end of it. So about two hours later, I was at the beggining of the line. As it was my turn, I stepped up to a man wearing a flight attendant uniform.
"What's your name, mister?" He asked me
"John Richardson."
"Hmm, John Richardson, 45 years old, shot in the head, you're gonna have to wait for the seterusnya bus."
"Bus?"
"There are busses that take anda to heaven. Now, anda can wait in one of our many lovley shops of caffes."
"Damn."
I walked to a nearby coffee shop, and got a mocachino. I sat at a meja, jadual with a goth girl and an old man.
"So, how did anda guys die? I got shot in the head."
"I commitied scuicide."
"I died of old age."
"Oh. Must suck to be dead, doesen't it."
"I thought being dead was fun."
"OH! MY BACK!"
I walked away from the tabe with my coffe. The goth girl and old man were freaking me out.
I ended up near a Macy's, where I went in to browse. I saw a nice, merah jambu polo shirt. "My wife would've loved this." I said. And then my phone rang to my annoying beeping ringtone. I need to change my ringtone, I thought to myself.
"Hello?"
"The seterusnya bus is here. anda can take it, John
Richardson."
"I'll be right there."
I ran to the bus station, where I coud pass the inspection. I was sitting on the bus.
"Hi and welcome to Heaven Express. This is bus 49121. We will be taking anda to Heaven. Please enjoy the ride." She didn't give us saftey tips. Maybe because we're dead.
The bus ride was rather short and pleasant. Everybody was polite, and the bus was cleaner than my commute bus back in earth. Finnaly, the bus ride was over, and we opened the gate, and...
I woke up in my katil on Earth.
life alert:
a guy is lying on the ground.
the guy:help, I've fallen an i can't get up! *stands up* i can't get up! *walks around* i can't get up! *runs around* i can't get up! *looks at the camera and talks in an angry voice* i can't get up! i can't get up! buy this crap so they'll pay me! *walks away*
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hotel/resort:
a guy is at a beach.
the guy:this place if awesome! all the kids Cinta it!
(a kid drags himself towards the guy, covered in blood)
kid:i wanna go home. my everything hurts.
the guy:shut your mouth! *kicks the kid and walks away* we have the best refreshments.
(a woman in the background walks up to him)
woman:excuse me, there was a bone in my smoothie. also my husband died from poison in the beer.
the guy:NO REFUNDS! *pushes the woman down* anyways come here today.
(the whole place is blown up sejak a nuke and a guy in a toxic suit comes in) now less people will die.
a guy is lying on the ground.
the guy:help, I've fallen an i can't get up! *stands up* i can't get up! *walks around* i can't get up! *runs around* i can't get up! *looks at the camera and talks in an angry voice* i can't get up! i can't get up! buy this crap so they'll pay me! *walks away*
___________________________________________
hotel/resort:
a guy is at a beach.
the guy:this place if awesome! all the kids Cinta it!
(a kid drags himself towards the guy, covered in blood)
kid:i wanna go home. my everything hurts.
the guy:shut your mouth! *kicks the kid and walks away* we have the best refreshments.
(a woman in the background walks up to him)
woman:excuse me, there was a bone in my smoothie. also my husband died from poison in the beer.
the guy:NO REFUNDS! *pushes the woman down* anyways come here today.
(the whole place is blown up sejak a nuke and a guy in a toxic suit comes in) now less people will die.