Do anda like my fanfiction?

It's not finished yet but I wanna be an penulis when i grow up iv had stories and poems publishes loads of times and came 3rd in a comp but I dont think this is as good, I think it started off ok but there is too much happening please read it and let me know what u think and what could be better and the best parts and wherther u think i have the potential to become an author. Here is the link for chapter 1 and u can continue looking for it from there. Thank anda xxx

link

anda may have 2 copy and paste the link xx