Riku114 Wall

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Riku114 berkata …
Me: Okay its 11 AM what are we supposed to be going? *checks calendar*

Me: .... the calendar is blank until 6 PM

Me #2: Ya know we planned to like... ya know, have an easy hari on the weekend?

Me: .... OKAY THEN. LETS GET DOWN TO RELAXING AND HAVING FUN. WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO PLAY atau DO

Me #2: Can anda like... not be so extreme and just relax when relaxing telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Deep breaths, relax muscles, lower shoulders, and just do whatever~ hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Also I officially #100%ed Hijikata and Saito and I totally have... 26.1 hours on the game XD Im officially 1/6th way done with the game telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Im going back to get Hijikatas bad routes before starting another and I just remembered again how much he needs to stfu and stop being me telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
I really miss my flock tbh. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Its been way too long since I got to hold a feathery friend. I hope we get to hold the chickens in the chicken lab for my animal science lab seterusnya week hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Cos Imma die if I cant hold a feathery friend for one lebih week hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
University: Here anda have a $755 Refund Check to pick up

Me: .... i do? What for? I mean Il ltake it but idk why

Me: *going through financial papers and stuff* OH anda GUYS DIDNT PAY ME MY WHOLE GRANT EARLIER SO THIS IS MONEY I HAD BUT DIDNT KNOW OHHH THATS NICE

Me: Well at least that makes sense. Alright time to account it into my budge-

University: *literally one jam after I picked up that one* anda have a refund check to pick up

Me: ???? WHAT FOR??? telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Im getting so much money from the universiti I dont understand why Im getting it. hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Maybe this one is the small student loan atau something? atau maybe its the downpayment on dorm paid back or...??? hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Tbh I was $400-500 above my budget I was telah diberi and thus adding an unexpected $755 made me around $1200 saved and who knows how much the seterusnya one is .-. hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Also everyone says Hijikata is originally cold, mean, and an asshole of sorts but like... I never really saw that and I dont know if thats everyone having differnet opinions atau a commentary on me since I relate to him XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Too many good Hijikata Icons. I was gonna go for Halloween but got distracted. Maybe Ill give him a witch hat telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Me: Imma Google how to relax

Roommate: anda go do that. *goes off to the bathroom*

*two minit later*

Roommate: did anda figure out how to relax?

Me: No

Roommate: .... get off the UC Davis hatchery page, yo uare supposed to be relaxin- no close the e-mel too

Me: .... ..... *legit didnt realize she was not relaxing and now feels dumb* telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
I officially accepted that I have a genuine friend irl and thus also decided to give her the irl best friend at the same time and thats honestly kinda weird for me.

...

... i dont know if i like this XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I feel a lot of anda underestimate how horrifically bad I am at actually establishing meaningful connections with people IRL and then actually recognizing and accepting it rather than denying it and negating the 'meaningful' part because I refuse to let it count cos of my discomfort into getting invested into friendships hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
But TBH shes one of the only two not-boyfriend, not-therapist, not-oldest-sister people I know IRL that I am even remotely comfortable being my purely natural self and we still are in contact even after having not seen each other in two months and tbh shes pretty cool hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
#GayPTSDBuddies hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Im annoyed sejak the amount of M&Ms in my trail mix telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I know Im weird hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
WELP. I apparently also do dissociative fugue XD The one dissociation thing I claimed to NOT have I apparently have for ffs XD

My new therapist was like "You do A LOT for being dissociated so it sounds a lot like a fugue if anda ask me". Apparently anda dont have to have that whole complete memory wipe / shock when anda come back from a fugue and apparently my selective amnesia and constant casual autopilot-dissociation is likely a mild but still active dissociative fugue ffs XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
But fuck man I got therapy homework to "relax" rip me hampir setahun yang lalu
Rihanna312 berkata …
https://www.facebook.com/pubity/videos/767156683615418/ telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
XD Thats hilarious hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ berkata …
Wait...who is Nomy? telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
Guys, check out my new soalan on the Rawak club xD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
8theGreat XD hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
I see xD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Nomy: "Doing my job stuff so I might be slow to respond so sorry XD"

Me: "Its cool XD I was just mostly rambling here. And looking at birds"

Nomy: "When are anda not looking at birds"

Me: "good point" telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
^ A good point indeed lmao !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Lowkey having way too much fun with the thing me and Nomy are casually working on as a side thing together tbh. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
YES MY 7-10 PM CHEM LAB GOT CANCELED COS THE UC SYSTEM IS EXPERIENCING A STRIKE. HALLELUJAH. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
So I managed to match with a therapist that does have experience with trauma and dissociation so that should be interesting. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
So anyways, we did the away game and what not well and stayed up from 10 PM until 3 AM until I had to let my boyfriend go which lowkey really made me kinda sad to see him go since it was honest to god the first time none of my mental health crap was constantly pressuring me (Constantly but not majorly; present but not crushing) and I didnt really wnat him to go.

Woke up the seterusnya day, had the banquet and senior speeches and what not telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Then we got on the bus to head back to our universiti but only got like.... 20 miles out before one of the busses started majorly leaking oil and eventually catching on api, kebakaran in the form of an engine fire. That ended up making us stranded sejak a beach. hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Then we all agreed (quite enthusiastically as if we hadn't just been told we were stranded for two hours) to "rally at the beach" which pretty much means to play Muzik and have a band version of a party on the beach. Pretty much did that for three hours straight. Apparently a couple whose son killed himself a week lalu forced themselves out of the house to check out hte pantai and smiled for the first time since because of us, our energy, and overwhelming positivity hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I might muat naik some video onto YouTube XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
IM BACK HOLY SHIT XD

Our bus broke down and we didnt get a bus until midnight and then had a 5 jam drive back XD Plus I had a cold but tbh it was a lot of fun and I needed it XD After I get Makanan and laundry done I might ramble lebih on it if people are interested but it was quite a fun adventure with the band XD

Oh yeah I was at an away game that had us in a hotel over the weekend btw. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
that was unexpected news but hei glad anda had fun xD yes lebih please.. hampir setahun yang lalu
GDragon612 dikomen…
yyyyyyyyyyoooooo finally back!!!, but i am happy too anda had alot of fun<3 hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ berkata …
Riku why u no have time xD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Cuz Im a bando XD hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
:D hampir setahun yang lalu
GDragon612 dikomen…
hahahaha XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Fyi Goodbyes are still 200x harder than just cold turkey atau any actual parting telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
^This is in relation to the fact I got to see my boyfriend two nights lalu and had to part as well tho on the same hari XD It was harder than I thought it would be hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
My relatable character senarai is really hard to rank at this point XD Also I moved a few to an "EX-Relatable" senarai since I was feeling some really didnt match up to the standard the senarai held telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I also now added Tiers so I could place them lebih generally into Three Ranked boxes rather than trying to compare two really close ones. hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
The Tiers arent really ranked inside the tier but First is higher than saat which is higher than third hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
HIJIKATA GOTTA STOP DOING THINGS AND SAYING THINGS SIMILAR TO WHAT IVE DONE AND berkata FUCK OFF telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
ALSO CHIZURU STOP DESCRIBING HIM AS SOME PEOPLE WOULD DESCRIBE ME. anda TOO CAN FUCK OFF XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I might just go eat my pasta bar and glare. XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Hilariously hes also nicknamed "Demon Commander" sejak his Friends and subordinates which is very well paralleled sejak the fact everyone in my old band called me "Satan" XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Honestly I'm not too good at menunjukkan affection out of the provider method. Providing gifts, money, aid, help, and all that stuff. It doesnt really work well for people that dont want it atau people that dont understand that type of affection, but its just the most natural and comfortable one for me.

Im also pretty good at the method of spending quality time, but I also feel that flies over people's head a lot since I have limited time so my 'quality time' often isnt long telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Im usually busy so cutting out like... half an jam atau an jam to just anda really says something hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Honest to god my boyfriend is the lebih sweet thing ever. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
*most sweet hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Im the luckiest to have him in my life hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Ah yes. The 4 AM call time for a football game in Marching Band. Sounds about right. XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Lowkey feel a little bad cause people are comparing their schedules to mine and feeling lazy but that REALLY isnt fair. I keep myself busy sometimes as a bad coping mechanism XD Being busy is usually easier for me than being free telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Oh huh. Thats the first time I berkata that since I turned 18.

I guess Im finally / officially 'legal' now XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
FUCK IM NO LONGER #TEAMTEENAGER ON Fanpop XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Well.... "Teen"ager comes from the "teen" part so Im still a teen until Im like.... 20 XD So I still kinda am? hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Its weird tho XD Being on here since I was like 11 almost 12 makes it odd being moved a biiiiit into the older group. TBH not THAT old since there are a lot of older people still on here but yikes XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Im 18 and take 6-7 pills every morning. What am I 60? telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
anda are 11 tahun old cat xD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Hijikata is too relatable tbh XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Welp that Chem midterm had to be on of the easiest tests Ive taken in a while telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Also I was debating between the conflict in my own values and ideals the fact that one of my closest college Friends currently does drugs (which I am firm against myself; but I have had online Friends that abused it so now that I think about it I should have no problem with it XD) but from what Ive heard and seen so far, shes rather responsible about it and doesnt push it so I suppose its fine. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
My firmness on that value of mine hadnt had such a direct soalan to my decision of people to be around and to choose to be Friends with since those that did do it that I was Friends with did it after I already took them as longer term Friends so something like that was a matter of concern for them rather than decision making on my part hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
But personally, as much as I disagree with the usage of drugs and what not, as long as people arent in my face about it and trying to get me to take part and they themselves arent harming themselves with it atau their behavior while on it isnt harming others, then its not really horrible. Everyone's life is their own hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
Same as Zeppie and agree !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Honestly I really like my Microecon professor XD I mean Ive always loved Economy - both Macro and Micro - but he just makes the class great. Both a wonderful professor and just person in general XD Plus with my Cinta for participating, tendency to sit in the front, and the small conversation I have with him before and after class Im on pretty good terms with him too XD

But lowkey my kegemaran class to go to (until we get to Poultry in Animal Science prolly) telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Imma wanna die the seterusnya two weeks XD

I have 9 hours of band practice this week, then an all weekend marching trip, two labs, and a midterm XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
omg

"arrrghh my head"

Youtuber: "Yeah anda should just amputate it" telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
GDragon612 dikomen…
ouch XD , get well soon Riku~bun<3 hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Nah XD That wasnt at me it was a thing in the game he was going through hampir setahun yang lalu
GDragon612 dikomen…
hehe thats good xD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
extraverted Sensing (Se) (30.2)
good use

introverted Sensing (Si) (25)
average use

extraverted Intuiting (Ne) (29.3)
average use

introverted Intuiting (Ni)      (34.3)
good use

extraverted Thinking (Te) (43.6)
excellent use

introverted Thinking (Ti) (30.3)
good use

extraverted Feeling (Fe) (20.7)
limited use

introverted Feeling (Fi) (27.2)
average use

TEMPERAMENT: Theorist telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Oh the Temperament was a different wording for the "Rationals" "Idealists" etc etc hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
But yeah that felt like probably the most legit of the tests out of the ones I took hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Fuck I was gonna record it but decided against it and now wanted to post it on my dinding but now I cant find it :v

Anyways there was a Hijikata quote along the lines of "If I find myself in capable of doing a task, it is my responsibility to delegate it to someone who can." telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Personally thats the great thing about communications, having people around anda with diverse skills, and - in the larger spectrum for like nations and what not - trade. Time is very limited and one cant spend their whole life learning literally everything (against as much as I talk about it and seem to try to XD) so some things have to be passed up. hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
AND THIS ALL STARTED FROM ME THINKING ABOUT A HIJIKATA QUOTE hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I hate myself XD (not really) hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Hijikata is also pretty relatable. Saito is lebih specifically relatable while Hijikata is lebih generally relatable telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
WOOOOO DORM TO MYSELF. God its been so long since I felt as free as this XD I Cinta my roommates but as the sebelumnya post on this dinding said, my mind just automatically assumes that they serve a presence like my parents so like... yeah XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Honestly the thing about PTSD that I didnt really fully notice until I went to college is how it just makes anda have a constant sense that where-ever anda are and regardless of what facts anda present, there is a massive tag on everything that marks it a threat / possible danger.

Like I find that my dorm honestly feels exactly like it did when I was back at utama but there is NOTHING here actually to give it that feeling telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Likewise, the college itself does as well outside of learning. I just suppose it hasnt fully occurred to me because when I felt that constant presence of a threat that isnt there was when I didnt know / accept that I had PTSD and when I did know / accept it, I had my boyfriend around me at least an jam almost every hari hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
And as cheesy as it sounds, I can honestly say the only place I felt normal - at least in terms of sensing a threat atau anxiety - and safe. When I am around him, there is no levels of filters watching every word and every gesture and every thought and everything. Im fully genuine around him because my brain goes "Oh look. We are good and safe. No worries, feel free" cause he just makes me feel safe. HE doesnt really do anything too actively. HE isnt over protective atau take up my inner routines to protect myself from a nonexistant threat. Its just that hes there and its like a safety net atau harness. anda wouldnt go on an obstacle course 200 feet in the air without one of them, but when its there and telah diberi sejak a company anda can sue, anda are much lebih okay with it hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Im charismatic, smart, driven, good at applying myself, and considerably successful and just looking at the stats Ive got everything going for me way better than him. But honestly, its like people being amazed at the pokok and how beautiful it is without looking at the very soil, water, and nutrients that even let it be that. hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Ughh XD Im sad now. Im hearing the band practicing field tunjuk for tomorrow's football game that I didnt sign up for cos I figured Id be exhausted but now that I hear them its giving me good old memories to late night practices and now I wanna be there XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Today was a fucking shitty day. 10/10 would NOT recommend telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Hijikata is great XD Saito seems lebih fitting as a partner in my opinion but Hijikata is a great character XD I seriously Cinta his casual cursing being part of the smaller details of his characteristics XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Oh shit one of my options for a therapist is trained in EDMR therapy XD I dunno if I wanna go for it though cause I dont really know if its the type of processign and recovery I want to go about but that therapy is like a really rare type to see telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
It really shouldn't feel as odd as it is to be telah diberi normal friendly attention and to be treated as a normal person as it does. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
IRL I mean. I have a lot of online Friends I feel give me that too hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
WHY IS BUDGETING TO MUCH FUN? telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
2ntyOnePilots dikomen…
*too I’m sry, couldn’t help it. Argh.. plz don’t @ me, ik I’m hypocritical hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
It was actually supposed to be *So hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Also 7-10 PM Chemistry Labs was a mistake telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
And people are starting to notably notice that Im ahead of most of the class even when Im in a large universiti XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
College is the ability to say "You know this professor lectures 4x slower than I can learn sejak Membaca myself and I have a TA and discussion classes to work through anything I might not know so fuck this lecture" telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I have a midterm for Chem (not really a midterm cause I have two cause they dont understand what the word 'midterm' means) seterusnya week and tehre are two lebih chapters to cover and Im pretty sure I could cover the two chapters on my own and start doing practice tests in the time itd take them to cover the single first chapter today hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Personally I think I like Pokemon partly because Im an animal lover and the Fantasi of being in sync with your pets much lebih like companions and partners and going into battle with them just sounds like an awesome relationship.

Of course a large part is being raised with it, but my animal lover, my combat obsession, and my Cinta for Fantasi just kinda melds together as well. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I suppose to animal lovers, it depends if anda see the battles as forcing them to fight atau as working as a partnership to fight that makes anda soalan it. Also I like to imagine pokemon less in the "I wanna be the Pokemon Master" way, and lebih in just like a world of Pokemon and conflicts and stuff going on and stuff. A more... mature and stuff orientated type hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
HArd to explain but I dunno XD hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
I feel the same way when it comes to that matter !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
My hair is so good for hair / head banging telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
Meow hampir setahun yang lalu
GDragon612 dikomen…
headbangs with Riku❤ hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
I am honestly so sick of shitty fucking service management and help in the mental health department of fucking everything. Fuck Kaiser and maybe now also Fuck Davis telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I Cinta Davis but fuck their whole student care. Im paying for insurance yet have to struggle to book a single fucking appointment with therapy atau psychiatry. I have STILL yet to get one despite all my efforts hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Poor service in the mental health department isnt even funny in the slightest anymore hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Not that it ever was hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
FINALLY GOT AN APPOINTMENT Jesus CHRIST hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Linkin Park is a real headbanger.

Also for those that wonder how well I hide emotions and even major breakdowns, Ive had two full breakdown and like.... three atau four almost breakdowns and none of them have been noticed sejak my roommates atau bandos who have been around me pretty much 24/7 telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
I know how that is very well !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
And yes. Linkin Park rocks. It still remains one of my kegemaran Bands !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
2ntyOnePilots dikomen…
Linkin Park rocks! (Literally) I’m glad I’m not the only one who still gets a kick out of their music. (R.I.P. Chester) hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
I still hate when my mind randomly reminds me how ruined and stolen my childhood and teenhood was stolen from my family situation and mental health. I usually accept it and can think about it and grow from it, but sometimes my brain just hooks on it in a form of comparison and just get really envious and sad and tries to drag me back into grief over it. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Its one of the things that I still almost definately need Muzik to block out. hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I was video chatting with my boyfriend when I took a two minit break and something just brought it back and now Im just kinda really tense trying to block out the thought cause its not good for me to think about and if I think about it my mind starts going down a bad track and I start dissociating but even when Im playing Muzik to block out the bad thought train, I still am tense af and my body still wants to be anxiety ridden hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I really do need to figure out therapy though so I can actually continue to work through things hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Personally for a while, I spent a lot of my life kind of Lost in my own mind and just living in the worlds in my head and even in a reality slightly warped atau rather wrapped in a veil of distance and separation. It felt so separate from the world.

I would have this sense of companionship and socializing talkign to online Friends 24/7 while pent up in my room, rarely actually talking to anyone. A life that was perfect and a well developed and stable personality telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
While not knowing the first thing about myself and while being a mental health mess in a toxic family hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
It was honestly a bit of a false reality and while it may have felt really good from time to time, I feel that its good that I got my reality and the TRUE reality to match up and work on actually taking part in the world hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I am not to say that Friends online are not real Friends atau they dont provide companionship, however its hard to say that it fully fills the role when there is nothing in the actual physical world to be around hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
If I were to say anything, it was probably a lot easier, lebih peaceful, and fun to live like that and honestly sometimes there is a deep longing to go back to living like that, but this seems better - as lebih difficult as it is hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Welp I finished Saito's route and like.... I dont wanna go onto completing ANY of the other 12 rn cos I Cinta Saito and that story worked so well it doesnt feel like the others could compare XD

Im sure they are great but Id feel wrong moving on so fast so I might take a few days break atau something.

Saito is great though telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
14 hours of game play and there is 11 other main routes XD hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
Welp, it is reasonable. Give yourself some time to reflect on what anda have went through before anda jump straight into the other Routes XD !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Saito is so making my relatable characters senarai XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Sometimes, I honestly feel like if Im not of use to people, I really am not wanted, needed, atau worthy of attention / affection atau whatever.

I am very aware that it isn't true, but I can't say I am not taken off guard atau uncomfortable when I realize someone is liking me not for my skill in anything atau my intelligence atau my ability to help them, but just rather for me and myself and...

Its just weird telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I kinda relate to Saito in that matter hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I was actually having makan malam, majlis makan malam with one of the other trumpet freshmen and for over half of it I was internally struggling to comprehend the fact that I neither was amazing at the trumpet compared to others, havent shown off any particular academics, atau really anything useful to them yet.... they still treated me and seemed to want to welcome me into being Friends regardless and it just didnt seem right atau to make sense XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
XD Thanks guys. Its not really a major concern but lebih so a reflection / analysis / observation I noticed on myself and felt like rambling about. It is just something that I noticed and one of the things that resonated strongly with me when a similar topic was beign discussed in Hakuoki XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Lowkey in a huggge ramen, ingatan capaian rawak mood since I cant go to the dining commons but also not wanting to spend money

Id kill for like... legit ramen. Like legit cooked ramen. The real delicious good shit. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
GDragon612 dikomen…
ramen, ingatan capaian rawak I WANT ALOT*_* YUMMY!!!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
ALSO FUCK HAKUOKI SLIGHTLY XD

It makes me miss my boy lebih XD Cos Im like "Aww... this is such a nice romance cute thing... I relate case of my boyfriend... BUT HES NOT FUCKING HERE AND ITS BEEN LIKE TWO AND A HALF WEEKS AND I WANT HIM BACK. GIVE HIM BACK TO ME." telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Honestly, I just kinda like having him around because I get a nice sense of security that makes it so I dont have to be well in check 24/7, looking over thigns 24/7, being responsible and controlling everything, and jsut all in all being a really spectacular, responsible, hardworker all the time. hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I mean its GOOD when I am doing that and it REALLY doesnt drain me too much to be like this 24/7 cause its honestly just a different mode of sorts and doesnt really take much energy for me to keep track of everything and stay on task and everything, but I really do enjoy occasionally allowing myself to be stupid, to make mistakes, and to not have to look far ahead to make sure everything is going exactly as I plan / want it to and all hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Still tho. I Cinta Hakuoki hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Hajime Saito > Hajime Hinata

I Cinta both but Saito is great telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
Hajime Ichinose > EVERY other Hajime so far !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
"All too often, doubt is little lebih than a poison" ~ Saito Hajime telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
I burnt my self out helping my roommate with basic Chem that I just had a major energy and mood crash the saat a minor inconvenience occured in my work when I started it at night

Whoops telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Honestly the great thing about a well done Otome game is it gives anda a small, short version of the feeling of falling in Cinta all over again. Its not as long lasting, and its not as intense, but for a short moment when playing it, anda just get the rush and softness for a minit atau two where anda are like "Ah... Love"

Not enough to where anda fall in Cinta for real, but enough to get the feeling of being loved and loving. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
So it seems the first game "Kyoto Winds" is lebih of the set up and is much lebih linear even with the different romancable options and then "Edo Blossoms" is the saat half where anda start right away getting to be offered which route telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Its just kinda nice being as busy as I am to be honest XD Makes keeping my club up and active harder but still lets me have fun and what not while still feeling like Im making progress in my life

Oooooh

I think I get to sheer kambing biri-biri this Friday sejak the way

#Hype telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
Relatable !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Apparently I am matching with Saito lebih just with my natural decision choices XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
I wonder how much Ive read in Visual Novels in my time... telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Hakuoki plays a lot better than I expected XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Honestly... People assume me to be much lebih in control and independent than I am - atau at least lebih than I comfortably am. Im driven and perseverant and all, but I really dont like doing things Im completely unfamiliar with alone and I dont necessarily know how to do everything. I mean, that is normal for people, but it seems like almost everyone but maybe my boyfriend and maybe my oldest sister realize that. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Im great at leading when its somethign foreign that Im somewhat used to atau something similar to something Im familiar with and all, but when its completely unknown, I really Cinta to have someone actually help me out. hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I can get pretty easily overwhelmed alone in an area I feel like I dont have any solid footing in. Most things I do feel like I have solid footing in, therefore I lead rather well and handle myself rather well - but if I dont have a plan atau any real guidance of something Ive seen before atau anything, it just throws me off hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Cos bois I still got severe anxiety thats just being mediated sejak medication hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
I see that being perfectly natural, Rikubun. Someone thinking otherwise would seem unusual to me. That applies to every person and the impressions they are giving. Especially if anda have come to know them well !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Ugh. I honestly wish I was actually taught how to do taxis and bus crap cos now I have to figure that stuff out on my own and its a pain in the ass. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Also a note as to why I need to take my anxiety meds daily. Cause I missed it today (and probably also cause I missed it two days ago), it was causing my body to start reacting in an anxiety attack what with the inability to breathe and shit hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Im alright cause my sister actually gives me lebih help than "Take cash money and figure it out" and cause Im aware the reaction my body was having was primarily due to the lack of medication and I just took my medication but yikes hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Apparently I bike at least 4 kilometers on a regular school hari so its a bit too convenient for Pokemon Go XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
I might start playing Pokemon again. My schedule isnt as dense as I hoped it would be to make playing the DS lebih convenient but I still probably will. Maybe help my roommate complete the Pokedex telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
My roommate and sister dragged me back into Pokemon Go. My trainer code 1156 7110 6840 for anyone who wants to add me telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Im so forwardly in Cinta with birds telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
AQUA IS OFFICIALLY A BOSS FIGHT IN KH3 telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Me: Yeah theres a lot of biking in Davis

Oldest Sister: I told anda there was a lot of biking in college

Me: No anda dont understand

Me: Davis is a whole new level

Me: Just Google UC Davis Bike

Me: Just look out your window at Davis

Me: Davis is a bike telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Its kinda nice that the torturous longing to be able to hug and cuddle and be with my boyfriend has been replaced with an excitement to go utama and be with him in just a week of being here.

I really miss him and we can do so much when I get back XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I'm honestly just so lucky to have him. The distance honestly kinda makes me appreciate even the smallest things even more. hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
But yeah Im not really the type of person who should have been out of therapy for over three months straight telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
anda are going to be starting it again now that Summer is over. Right? hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
If I can work through Davis hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
TFW anda are unsure whether anda are just really bad at recognizing your own emotions atau really good at lying / convincing yourself that one emotion is the seterusnya telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Cause lowkey had a bit of a breakdown over the thing mentioned below and I know my need to stay active is a hugeeee front and the boredom is a HUUUGEEE red herring to keep myself from actually having to feel / think about my feelings hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
The thing is, even after a bit of a crack in it, I still dont know what Im blocking out, what, atau why and for the time period that I was extremely distressed about boredom, I genuinely thought I was depressed cos I was bored cos thats a thing for me but like, I can bet anda I was depressed for some other reason and I only started to feel it cause I wasnt busy and was distressed cos I was feeling depressed and was using the scapegoat of boredom so I could ignore my own issue hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
God Im bored telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Im not even a week into college and Im already bored of it. >.> hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
It doesnt help my mind isnt in a "Have fun and relax" mode and thus dont feel comfortable / motivated doing anything fun which means I cant get into a game atau Manga atau Anime atau anythign even if I forced myself to hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Im HONESTLY going to burn out so fast if Im like this for much longer atau if I cant relax on the weekend hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
That feeling when your shy introverted roommates have a larger will / want to make lebih Friends than anda XD

I just am too lazy and dont have people Im interested in yet XD

Ive got invited to like... two atau three parties already XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Sorry if I dont talk too much to people I usually would XD Ive been busy and distracted to keep up with my normal online routine XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Shukuya dikomen…
No problem hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
Hey,as long as anda still here that’s all it matters. hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
^ This. It is understandable, Rikubun. No need to even mention it !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Me: Imma take a bit of a nap 20 minit cause Im super tired and I never end up napping for lebih than a few minutes

*two hours later*

Me: FUCK ITS 4PM AND I MISSED hari ONE OF SCH- Oh wait. Huh. *talks to roommate for like two minutes* Imma just curl up for like five minit atau something

*five minit later*

Roommate: We should probably go eat soon since we have to leave in a bit

Me: Yeah sure around five

Roommate: It is five. anda fell asleep an jam lalu telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
The katil must be so comfy xD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Its alright XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
I was just super exhausted hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
So this is gonna be a copy paste from what I texted people on messenger but college story time telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Also dude. Someones bike flipped and they flew off it cos a janitor bumped the back of their bike with their vehicle and she - the rider - totally skinned her knee really badly and was bleeding a lot hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
Karma has its very own pace and ways of rewarding. Glad things worked out for both of anda !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
That was weird xD Hope it's just a beginners welcoming XD be selamat, peti deposit keselamatan Riku<3 hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
I honestly just feel happy and comfortable when I can really help the people around me that I care about. ITs one of my easier ways of menunjukkan affection and all, and if people can come to me for help and I can help them, it just makes me feel respected and liked.

Maybe its a bit wrong, since its a dynamic that could get unhealthy, but in moderation I feel like its fine telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Shukuya dikomen…
I think you're doing great hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Update: Quickly getting my good biking legs back telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Honestly if Im not on much its cause Im moving in and doing school prep and figuring life out at college and all and I just feel odd being on my computer much now XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Rihanna312 dikomen…
linkI`m just gonna leave this link here for when anda get back on, in case anda haven`t seen this yet ^_^ hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Awww XD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Wow my whole dorm room is the " 5' 1(.5)" girls with dysfunctional families bringing trauma and bad pasts to UC Davis hoping for lebih luck and a fresh start here " telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
My roommate is a wonderful person and I Cinta her XD We are gonna have a fun tahun telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
^Since when (her) means boy? xD hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
^ Plus platonically Cinta XD Also Im bi / ace af so gender doesnt matter for me hampir setahun yang lalu
Shukuya dikomen…
Sorry about that i didn't noticed!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
On a scale of one to ten, do anda want to die?
On a scale of one to ten, do anda want to die?
But if anda want to die
anda cant afford a funeral
So sadly I must say, anda can not die telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Honestly its not that bad for me but feels man hampir setahun yang lalu
Shukuya dikomen…
Life is game, dying means quiting it and I never quit a game hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Me and my roommate are whining and complaining about medical shit and college shit and assholes who write their own textbooks every tahun and make their students buy them telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
... well I was gonna make a Luka + Flugelhorn ikon but I cant muat naik it >.> telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
JetBlack__ dikomen…
Oh ! why? hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 dikomen…
Fanpop glitching hampir setahun yang lalu
8theGreat dikomen…
I dig it hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Seriously though I just Cinta my college band. So hyped for Monday Practice this Monday XD They make me feel loved and welcome. Its great not being the mom for the first time and just being the 'kid' of the band since anda get that really nice older sibling feel and that "we have your back" feeling that I havent had in a while.

They are honestly wonderful people. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
That is wonderful to know !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
As for a college update, Im moving in tomorrow XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
TFW anda spend all hari playing online games with your boyfriend since anda both have the hari off and anda still miss him XD Its honestly lowkey great to miss him like this. It both means Ive made great progress in mental health, that I really did Cinta him, makes the smallest things feel like the largest, and honestly just makes me lebih fond.

It sucks but like... Ive never been so happy atau excited to play Fortnite atau Stardew atau anything before. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
I realize that when Makanan is now on my own money, I eat a lot less of it XD Its probably for the better tho cos like... I eat lebih than I should XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Honestly its quite a great thing that Im missing my boyfriend XD Its a huge improvement from what I used to be like with my mental health. telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
Annnnd now I need to figure out something to keep me busy and entertained the seterusnya two days in a city I dont know, without a car, and with dead legs from band camp XD

Ill figure it out but for now Imma sit cos my legs are dead XD telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
Riku114 berkata …
I AM BACK AND THE BAND IS GREAT.

#YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO telah diposkan hampir setahun yang lalu
TheLefteris24 dikomen…
WELCOME BACK! XD That is good to know !!!! hampir setahun yang lalu