25 REASONS WHY I OWE MY MOTHER
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If anda don't straighten up, I'm going to knock anda into the middle of seterusnya week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I berkata so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me lebih LOGIC .
"If anda fall out of that hayun, swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure anda wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give anda something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION ISM.
"Will anda look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that bayam is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told anda once, I've told anda a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the bulatan OF LIFE.
"I brought anda into this world, and I can take anda out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop Berlakon like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like anda do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when anda get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If anda don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't anda think I know when anda are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.
My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If anda don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you.. Do anda think anda were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When anda get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One hari you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE .
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL .
"If anda don't straighten up, I'm going to knock anda into the middle of seterusnya week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
" Because I berkata so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me lebih LOGIC .
"If anda fall out of that hayun, swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure anda wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give anda something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
9. My mother taught me about CONTORTION ISM.
"Will anda look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"
10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that bayam is gone."
11. My mother taught me about WEATHER .
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told anda once, I've told anda a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"
13. My mother taught me the bulatan OF LIFE.
"I brought anda into this world, and I can take anda out."
14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop Berlakon like your father!"
15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like anda do."
16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home."
17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING .
"You are going to get it when anda get home!"
18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If anda don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."
19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't anda think I know when anda are cold?"
20. My mother taught me HUMOUR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
21.
My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If anda don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."
23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you.. Do anda think anda were born in a barn?"
24. My mother taught me WISDOM .
"When anda get to be my age, you'll understand."
25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One hari you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you."
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But anda sir, When you're born you're PINK, When anda grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When anda go in the sun anda turn RED, When you're cold anda turn BLUE, And when anda die anda turn PURPLE. And anda have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...