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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the meja, jadual with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the susu carton.

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WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check atau charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a Televisyen set in her purse.
"So, do anda always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how anda can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out sejak the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He jawapan that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minit later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the co unter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought anda were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ....... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the susu carton!)

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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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WORDS

A husband read an artikel to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000 .
The wife r eplied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CREATION

A man berkata to his wife one day, "I don't know how anda can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so anda would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to anda !

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The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the seterusnya day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The seterusnya morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper sejak the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .


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My Site is Worth
added by Mollymolata
ok.. So I know the part1 was hilarious for MOST of anda guys, but it's ok... But I'm still a little freaked out, cuz it's like I don't wanna unfriend/block the fangirl cuz it's kinda rude for me... So I didn't. Anywaysss... Here's part two of our conv.

(I logged in... and suddenly..)
Fangirl: Heeyyy!!! Zack :D why did anda logged out last time, aaww I felt bad :"< but it's ok cuz you're back now :D
Me: ...yeAh, "nice" seeing anda again too... I guess?
Fangirl: Aww hihi, so ok back to what I berkata last time.. So the time when we'll get married, we're gonna have kiddieess!! :D
Me: K-k-kiddies?? ._....
continue reading...
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THIS IS VERY URGENT AND NOT A JOKE!

I really mean it! What would anda be able to do if SOPA/TPP censors the internet? What would anda be able to do if Penulisan fanfics and drawing fanarts become illegal? What would anda do if it's illegal to do a cover of your kegemaran song on YouTube? What would anda do if downloading things from the internet (music, movies, TV episodes, etc) became illegal? What would anda do if SOPA/TPP wins the war and takes away internet freedom? Net Neutrality is already dead so far, we can't risk the freedom of internet from getting killed sejak SOPA/TPP!...
continue reading...
posted by tamore
 ya know I needed this dumb lil eagle n flag somewhere
ya know I needed this dumb lil eagle n flag somewhere
I fucking Cinta America.

Yeah, that’s right, I Cinta it. In a time when it’s oh so trendy to hate society and all this country’s flaws, I Cinta the United States of America.

And yes, I do acknowledge the flaws. It does suck that there’s still widespread racism and sexism and it sucks that same-sex marriage isn’t nationally recognized. (It also sucks that Marijuana isn’t legal everywhere but ya know, I can let that go.)

I Cinta America because I’m free. I Cinta America because I’m free to Cinta it atau I’m free to hate it. I can choose. I can voice my opinions.

I Cinta that it can be funny...
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