I wasn't the only one that got busted; Jordan and Rigby did as well. They threw me into the police car, seterusnya to them. They stared sullenly at the floor.
"You kids are in a lot of trouble," the cop berkata as he drove us to the station. Why did he have to even say that? We all knew it already. I closed my eyes, and tried not to think. Already, I was getting a splitting headache. I didn't want to think about what was happening, atau what was going to happen. I wonder what would happen if I asked the cop for my drugs back...
When we got to the station, they put us in a cell directly. They berkata we were to wait in here until our parents came. We sat there on the cold cell benches, and waited. Then Rigby started to cry. I raised my eyebrows at him.
"Oh man, guys! My dad's gonna be so pissed! He's gonna kill me!" he berkata through tears. "He's gonna beat my keldai when we get home!"
"Dude, I just hope my parents come," Jordan sighed. Rigby held his head in his hands and continued to cry for a while. I didn't know what to expect from Blair and James. I wouldn't say I was scared, just... anxious. A half jam later, Rigby's parents, along with Blair and James showed up.
"You are in so much trouble, Mister," Rigby's dad seethed as he grabbed his wrist. I didn't dare look up at Blair atau James. I just went to their sides, and stayed quiet. The adults talked with the cops for a while, and paid the bail. We were suspended from school for two weeks, and we were to be searched for drugs sejak the police once a week for the seterusnya two months. After they finished talking, James put a hand on my shoulder, and the three of us went home.
The car ride was silent. I still didn't look up at anyone. I couldn't. I was pretty sure I knew what they were thinking; they were disappointed in me.
When we got in the house, I started to my room, but James caught my wrist. I was forced to look at him. His eyes were soft, yet hurt. He frowned at me.
"Shelby, I want anda to stay down here." I almost didn't listen, but something told me I should probably just behave for now. I came back down the stairs, and sat on the living room couch. I could see Blair and James talking quietly in the dapur for a while, then they went upstairs. I curled up in a ball on the sofa, kerusi panjang and stared at the floor. Once my eyes flickered to the remote, but I wasn't sure if I should. It'd be nice to have some noise, but I wasn't sure it'd help my headache. So I just sat there, for an hour, doing nothing.
Blair came downstairs, with a small garbage bag in her hand, then went to the garaj to throw it away. When she came back, she sighed, put her hands on her hips, and looked at the clock. I shifted uncomfortably in my spot, and kept my gaze low.
"I need to go pick Sage and Kirsten up from school soon. anda wanna come?" she asked, like today was just a regular day. My arms constricted tighter around my knees, and I shook my head. Blair was quiet for a while, then left. I heard the mini van pull away from the garage. A little while later, James came down. He cleared his throat and clapped his hands together once. I slowly looked to him when he sat down seterusnya to me on the couch.
"...I..." he sighed. "I'm... very sorry for what happened to you, Shelby. I'm sorry anda were feeling so bad that anda chose to do that to yourself. I hope that we can work to make it better. That's all we ever wanted for anda and your sisters."
"...Can I go up to my room now?" I asked quietly. He sighed, then nodded. I got up quickly and went to my room, throwing myself onto my bed. I stuffed my face with my pillow, trying to drown out the screaming in my head. I lifted my pillow, only to see my stash was gone. My hati, tengah-tengah lunged, and I looked under the bed. Again, gone. I looked in the "empty" shoe box on the shelf in my closet. Now it really was empty. I groaned and laid down on the ground, staring up at the ceiling fan.
What was I going to do? Already I was craving cocaine. A while later, my headache was so bad I wanted to scream. I got up off the floor and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head. Was this what I'd have to deal with? Either this growing pain, atau die from the drugs like Carissa?
"Shelby?" Kirsten's voice came through the door. She walked slowly over to me, her face scared. Sage walked behind her, looking calm. "B-- Blair told us what happened..." she berkata softly. I didn't say anything. "...Why'd anda do that, Shelby?" she asked. "I mean, anda could've died! They berkata that's why they did the drug-search today; because a girl died from it!" I bit my tongue to keep from screaming at her. I didn't care! Right now, I wanted to die!
"Go away, Kirsten," I groaned, pulling the covers further over my head. She sighed, and then I heard her walk out the door. It scared me when I felt someone climb onto the bed, and curl up seterusnya to me.
"I kept my promise," Sage berkata quietly. "Even when I wanted to tell someone, I didn't. "
"Ok," I mumbled. She was quiet for a long time.
"Does that make anda happy?" she asked. I pulled the covers off and looked at her.
"What do anda mean?"
"You seem angry with me all the time. I was hoping this would make anda happy with me." I sighed, and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.
"Sage, I'm not angry with you." She cocked her head slightly and stared at me still with her big brown eyes. "Life just sucks, ok? That's why I'm angry all the time." She nodded, somewhat understanding.
"I still miss Mommy, Shelby..." she said, her voice cracking a tiny bit at the end.
"I know," I sighed. She curled up closer to me and closed her eyes. I sighed, and closed my eyes as well. Her small hands gripped my arm as she snuggled close to me. I fell asleep a few moments later.
"Shelby! I'm gonna kill you!" I jolted awake to see Paige running at me. She jumped on the katil and punched my arm.
"Ow! Hey!" I pushed her away.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" she shouted at me. "Why the hell would anda do something so stupid!?"
"Don't swear.." Sage berkata quietly, rubbing her eyes.
"You just don't get it!" I shouted at Paige. She groaned.
"I can't believe you'd be so stupid! anda could've died! anda were killing yourself! Don't anda know that?!" Before I could shout "yes" at her, Blair and James came into the room.
"Girls! Calm down!" Blair said, a little annoyed. Jori walked in behind her, her eyes big.
"Shelby?" she asked quietly. "...Why?" I groaned and sat back down on the bed, covering my face with my hands. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone! Was that so much to ask?! I cried into my hands, in front of everyone. They were all quiet, as I sobbed.
"Come on, girls," James berkata quietly. "Just give her some angkasa for now..." I thought all of them left, but then someone took a kerusi, tempat duduk seterusnya to me, and put their arm around my shoulers.
"It'll be ok," Blair berkata softly. I turned and wrapped my arms around her neck, and cried.
"You kids are in a lot of trouble," the cop berkata as he drove us to the station. Why did he have to even say that? We all knew it already. I closed my eyes, and tried not to think. Already, I was getting a splitting headache. I didn't want to think about what was happening, atau what was going to happen. I wonder what would happen if I asked the cop for my drugs back...
When we got to the station, they put us in a cell directly. They berkata we were to wait in here until our parents came. We sat there on the cold cell benches, and waited. Then Rigby started to cry. I raised my eyebrows at him.
"Oh man, guys! My dad's gonna be so pissed! He's gonna kill me!" he berkata through tears. "He's gonna beat my keldai when we get home!"
"Dude, I just hope my parents come," Jordan sighed. Rigby held his head in his hands and continued to cry for a while. I didn't know what to expect from Blair and James. I wouldn't say I was scared, just... anxious. A half jam later, Rigby's parents, along with Blair and James showed up.
"You are in so much trouble, Mister," Rigby's dad seethed as he grabbed his wrist. I didn't dare look up at Blair atau James. I just went to their sides, and stayed quiet. The adults talked with the cops for a while, and paid the bail. We were suspended from school for two weeks, and we were to be searched for drugs sejak the police once a week for the seterusnya two months. After they finished talking, James put a hand on my shoulder, and the three of us went home.
The car ride was silent. I still didn't look up at anyone. I couldn't. I was pretty sure I knew what they were thinking; they were disappointed in me.
When we got in the house, I started to my room, but James caught my wrist. I was forced to look at him. His eyes were soft, yet hurt. He frowned at me.
"Shelby, I want anda to stay down here." I almost didn't listen, but something told me I should probably just behave for now. I came back down the stairs, and sat on the living room couch. I could see Blair and James talking quietly in the dapur for a while, then they went upstairs. I curled up in a ball on the sofa, kerusi panjang and stared at the floor. Once my eyes flickered to the remote, but I wasn't sure if I should. It'd be nice to have some noise, but I wasn't sure it'd help my headache. So I just sat there, for an hour, doing nothing.
Blair came downstairs, with a small garbage bag in her hand, then went to the garaj to throw it away. When she came back, she sighed, put her hands on her hips, and looked at the clock. I shifted uncomfortably in my spot, and kept my gaze low.
"I need to go pick Sage and Kirsten up from school soon. anda wanna come?" she asked, like today was just a regular day. My arms constricted tighter around my knees, and I shook my head. Blair was quiet for a while, then left. I heard the mini van pull away from the garage. A little while later, James came down. He cleared his throat and clapped his hands together once. I slowly looked to him when he sat down seterusnya to me on the couch.
"...I..." he sighed. "I'm... very sorry for what happened to you, Shelby. I'm sorry anda were feeling so bad that anda chose to do that to yourself. I hope that we can work to make it better. That's all we ever wanted for anda and your sisters."
"...Can I go up to my room now?" I asked quietly. He sighed, then nodded. I got up quickly and went to my room, throwing myself onto my bed. I stuffed my face with my pillow, trying to drown out the screaming in my head. I lifted my pillow, only to see my stash was gone. My hati, tengah-tengah lunged, and I looked under the bed. Again, gone. I looked in the "empty" shoe box on the shelf in my closet. Now it really was empty. I groaned and laid down on the ground, staring up at the ceiling fan.
What was I going to do? Already I was craving cocaine. A while later, my headache was so bad I wanted to scream. I got up off the floor and crawled into bed, pulling the covers over my head. Was this what I'd have to deal with? Either this growing pain, atau die from the drugs like Carissa?
"Shelby?" Kirsten's voice came through the door. She walked slowly over to me, her face scared. Sage walked behind her, looking calm. "B-- Blair told us what happened..." she berkata softly. I didn't say anything. "...Why'd anda do that, Shelby?" she asked. "I mean, anda could've died! They berkata that's why they did the drug-search today; because a girl died from it!" I bit my tongue to keep from screaming at her. I didn't care! Right now, I wanted to die!
"Go away, Kirsten," I groaned, pulling the covers further over my head. She sighed, and then I heard her walk out the door. It scared me when I felt someone climb onto the bed, and curl up seterusnya to me.
"I kept my promise," Sage berkata quietly. "Even when I wanted to tell someone, I didn't. "
"Ok," I mumbled. She was quiet for a long time.
"Does that make anda happy?" she asked. I pulled the covers off and looked at her.
"What do anda mean?"
"You seem angry with me all the time. I was hoping this would make anda happy with me." I sighed, and wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.
"Sage, I'm not angry with you." She cocked her head slightly and stared at me still with her big brown eyes. "Life just sucks, ok? That's why I'm angry all the time." She nodded, somewhat understanding.
"I still miss Mommy, Shelby..." she said, her voice cracking a tiny bit at the end.
"I know," I sighed. She curled up closer to me and closed her eyes. I sighed, and closed my eyes as well. Her small hands gripped my arm as she snuggled close to me. I fell asleep a few moments later.
"Shelby! I'm gonna kill you!" I jolted awake to see Paige running at me. She jumped on the katil and punched my arm.
"Ow! Hey!" I pushed her away.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!" she shouted at me. "Why the hell would anda do something so stupid!?"
"Don't swear.." Sage berkata quietly, rubbing her eyes.
"You just don't get it!" I shouted at Paige. She groaned.
"I can't believe you'd be so stupid! anda could've died! anda were killing yourself! Don't anda know that?!" Before I could shout "yes" at her, Blair and James came into the room.
"Girls! Calm down!" Blair said, a little annoyed. Jori walked in behind her, her eyes big.
"Shelby?" she asked quietly. "...Why?" I groaned and sat back down on the bed, covering my face with my hands. I just wanted everyone to leave me alone! Was that so much to ask?! I cried into my hands, in front of everyone. They were all quiet, as I sobbed.
"Come on, girls," James berkata quietly. "Just give her some angkasa for now..." I thought all of them left, but then someone took a kerusi, tempat duduk seterusnya to me, and put their arm around my shoulers.
"It'll be ok," Blair berkata softly. I turned and wrapped my arms around her neck, and cried.
~ Chapter 1: Dreams
Love. Unconditional and pure Cinta was there, found in their hearts. Feelings, pure and strong lived from hari to day.
But the days were cold. Cold wind froze their dreams.
A child was born.
Dreams, spreading its roots, now slowly fade.
But still live and last in the hearts of the dreamers.
A child wasn't a part of a dream, though.
It wasn't. But Cinta was still there, although destroyed sejak many issues, it started fading slowly like a smothered flame.
Mother's eyes was full of hope and hati, tengah-tengah full of love, so pure, so gentle.
She knew. Life won't be susu and honey, though she must be strong.
Looking at her baby girl, happy and sad in the same time, so many thoughts were flying through her head.
So many questions, perhaps a small dose of regret.
She felt sadness inside.
Cinta was still there, that pure Cinta that kept them alive, though these dreams they both had were somehow far and unreal.
A flame of Cinta was still burning...
Love. Unconditional and pure Cinta was there, found in their hearts. Feelings, pure and strong lived from hari to day.
But the days were cold. Cold wind froze their dreams.
A child was born.
Dreams, spreading its roots, now slowly fade.
But still live and last in the hearts of the dreamers.
A child wasn't a part of a dream, though.
It wasn't. But Cinta was still there, although destroyed sejak many issues, it started fading slowly like a smothered flame.
Mother's eyes was full of hope and hati, tengah-tengah full of love, so pure, so gentle.
She knew. Life won't be susu and honey, though she must be strong.
Looking at her baby girl, happy and sad in the same time, so many thoughts were flying through her head.
So many questions, perhaps a small dose of regret.
She felt sadness inside.
Cinta was still there, that pure Cinta that kept them alive, though these dreams they both had were somehow far and unreal.
A flame of Cinta was still burning...
Texas Rancho Viejo 1942
Bonnie's POV
I walked quickly down the dusty dirt road, I kicked and scrapped pebbels, It was hot and dry today, another great thing when your isolated! *CRASH* I gasped, I slowed to a stop and carfully and slowwly turned around. Behind me stood a man. He had wild brown hair and blue piercing eyes, He held a gun and a charcol covered teddy bear. He smiled and inchined twords me. "Whoa pardner, who are you?" I asked in my thick texian accent. "I am a friend" He berkata kindly. I suspiciously eyed him up and down. I reached into my back pocket and gripped my fingers around a gun I found. "Dont be afraid i'll make it all better" He moved closer to me, I panicked.Is this the phantom murder? I thought. I pulled out my gun and aimed it at him. "I dont think anda will"
I berkata sweetly, then I triggered it and shot him, he fell to the ground stunned. I smiled. When your isolated in texas anda cant trust anyone. and i mean ANYONE.
Bonnie's POV
I walked quickly down the dusty dirt road, I kicked and scrapped pebbels, It was hot and dry today, another great thing when your isolated! *CRASH* I gasped, I slowed to a stop and carfully and slowwly turned around. Behind me stood a man. He had wild brown hair and blue piercing eyes, He held a gun and a charcol covered teddy bear. He smiled and inchined twords me. "Whoa pardner, who are you?" I asked in my thick texian accent. "I am a friend" He berkata kindly. I suspiciously eyed him up and down. I reached into my back pocket and gripped my fingers around a gun I found. "Dont be afraid i'll make it all better" He moved closer to me, I panicked.Is this the phantom murder? I thought. I pulled out my gun and aimed it at him. "I dont think anda will"
I berkata sweetly, then I triggered it and shot him, he fell to the ground stunned. I smiled. When your isolated in texas anda cant trust anyone. and i mean ANYONE.
Always running
All the time,
Chasing a dream
As I follow the signs.
Out of breath
I miss a turn,
I wander the paths
Ready to learn.
I start to get impatient
I'm working so hard,
So how come I'm not there yet
I've played all my cards.
Life is like a rollercoaster
Mine never stops,
It takes me round in circles
Back to the start.
There are so many highs and lows
Yet they''re all the same,
I need a change of track
Something different to my name.
Each step I take aches my body
And I'm waiting for the day,
That a different train will come along
And take me a different way.
All the time,
Chasing a dream
As I follow the signs.
Out of breath
I miss a turn,
I wander the paths
Ready to learn.
I start to get impatient
I'm working so hard,
So how come I'm not there yet
I've played all my cards.
Life is like a rollercoaster
Mine never stops,
It takes me round in circles
Back to the start.
There are so many highs and lows
Yet they''re all the same,
I need a change of track
Something different to my name.
Each step I take aches my body
And I'm waiting for the day,
That a different train will come along
And take me a different way.
Dusty Streets
A blazing sun,
Makanan and Water
There is none.
Living on hope
Crying out,
Helping others
Around and about.
Children Shouting
They wail and cry,
Willing for a change
A signal, a sign.
They're grateful for everytihng
Whatever comes their way,
They're constantly working
All night, all day.
The air is filthy
They cough and they weep,
They want to survive
They sniffle and sleep.
Begging off strangers
It's all they can do,
Someone to help them
It could be you.
-Emily Eaton (13)
A blazing sun,
Makanan and Water
There is none.
Living on hope
Crying out,
Helping others
Around and about.
Children Shouting
They wail and cry,
Willing for a change
A signal, a sign.
They're grateful for everytihng
Whatever comes their way,
They're constantly working
All night, all day.
The air is filthy
They cough and they weep,
They want to survive
They sniffle and sleep.
Begging off strangers
It's all they can do,
Someone to help them
It could be you.
-Emily Eaton (13)
I have a secret: I'm afraid. I'm terribly afraid that I AM GOING TO DIE. I didn't ask for leukemia. Nor did I expect it. Especially not chronic myelogenous leukemia. Especially when chronic myelogenous leukemia tends to affect the OLDER males, and I'm only what, 14?
But do anda know why it has to be a secret? I have a family: my dad and Jae, my youngest sister. [Yeah, I have two more, but, they're out of my life at the moment.] They cried their hearts out once I was diagnosed. They were afraid that they'd lose another family member--after all, my mother passed away after a car accident. I promised to be strong. For Dad. For Jae. For Mom.
But if being strong means that I have to hold back all these tears, that I have to surpress all my fear in order to comfort my family, sometimes I wish I didn't make that promise.
But do anda know why it has to be a secret? I have a family: my dad and Jae, my youngest sister. [Yeah, I have two more, but, they're out of my life at the moment.] They cried their hearts out once I was diagnosed. They were afraid that they'd lose another family member--after all, my mother passed away after a car accident. I promised to be strong. For Dad. For Jae. For Mom.
But if being strong means that I have to hold back all these tears, that I have to surpress all my fear in order to comfort my family, sometimes I wish I didn't make that promise.
I was in the class the other day, and Mrs.Crosswaer was handing out new assignments. And he stared at me! Oh his name is Sam, and he was staring at me dreamly!!!!!!!!!!!
It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!
I am SO SORRY! It had to be lonfer so yeah!
It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo cooooooooooooooool!
I am SO SORRY! It had to be lonfer so yeah!
*********************
One lonely sunday afternoon
I sit in my chamber and have nothing to do
My Cinta is far away
I wonder if (s)he's already forgotten me
So I sadly watch the sky
See the raindrops passing by
One looonely sunday afternooon...
One looonely sunday afternoon
One lonely sunday afternoon
I'm even as my Bunga still out of bloom
I find some old photos, covered with dust
I cannot forget anda although I know that I must
So I sadly let them fly
And this time I have to cry
One looonely sunday afternooon...
One looonely sunday afternoon
**********************
