"dear Alice.
i don't know why i say alice anymore, i think now i write these emails to myself, to secure me that anda were real, that anda all were , that he was.
There is evidence that anda were here. and was my best friend. But sometimes i dont know wheither i was dreaming atau not, But i stop that thought to think again, if it was a dream and anda diddnt exist,then how did i know your name, atau did i make anda up, along with every one else. Maybe i'm going crazy, from without anda i dont know. But i want to find out. Do anda think a crazy person can be the one to digiosed themselves?? Lets hope for my sake that they can.
I know anda wont read this, atau that fact that anda havent even read one. they jsut get sent back to me, unread, failed, jsut like i know this one will to.
But i think this is the only thing that stops me from doing what i shouldn't do. what ever that is.
Charlie would say hi, if he knew anything. I've been so quite that me andcharlie no longer talk.
And jake. Well, he reminds me of you. Your friendship, your beauty, your loveliness. And the easiness to be normal around, someone i diddnt have to try,that i will never experience again.
But jake could never replace you.
school sucks, i think only anda and him was my only exucuse to get up and out of katil for school.
i havent spoken to my mum in ages. she calls and calls and abuses dad. but i just cant. she will be too concerned and ask soalan that i dont want to answer atau just hear.
Well i Cinta anda alice. i have to make makan malam, majlis makan malam for charlie, in silence again..
talk to anda in the seterusnya few days. funny how i say that, when i wont."

Cinta bella