I felt like I'd stepped into an alternate universe when I read some komen-komen on the SE car scene on YouTube. Although some people did mention how badly Stefan had treated Elena, most of them dikomen on how much he still loved her, why the tunjuk was all about them because they were together 'from hari one', commiserated with Stefan and declared how much they loved him; and why he loved Elena lebih than Damon because he let her go and saved his brother. But here's what I think.
What we saw in 3x11 marked a humungous change in Stelena's relationship. It changed everthing. Maybe Stelena peminat-peminat won't talk about it because they already know. Maybe their tunjuk of solidarity is nothing but bravado. Apparently, some SE peminat-peminat are still confident about their ship because 3x11, in a sick, twisted fashion, demonstrated that Stefan still loves Elena. But in my opinion, they're wrong. Here's why...

"After everything, that's what matters? Destroying Klaus?"
"Destroying Klaus is all I have left."
"You had ME!"

I felt terrible for Elena in this scene. A cataclysmic change has occurred. The order of Stefan's priorities have changed. Elena's safety is no longer at the bahagian, atas of the list. Instead, all of Stefan's energies are aimed at getting revenge on Klaus and destroying him. If that wasn't bad enough, in Stefan's eyes, he's justified in those motivations because he doesn't believe he has anything left. In spite of the relationship and the Cinta he once shared with Elena, Stefan has written himself, and his relationship off. He's utterly resigned himself to his 'fate'. But the problem is, he never even tried to fight for it. Elena believed lebih in them than he did. That's what's so horrible for her to realise here. It's as if she doesn't matter to him anymore, and her belief that he could be 'saved' is of no significance. When she's loved him so much, that must have really hurt her. What's even worse, is the way Stefan uses her to get the upper hand over his enemy. Stefan knows that Elena's parents died in an accident on the bridge. And in the power game he plays with Klaus, he forces her to re-live the memory of that night all over again. While Klaus needed to be taken down a peg atau two, this wasn't the right way to go about doing it. I'm sure there were other ways Stefan could have thought of. Yet he specifically chooses the bridge. And I think the fact that he's the one who saves Elena on the night of the accident somehow makes it even crueller and even lebih malicious, because he saw what happened. Stefan was relying on Elena to be terrified and believe that they would crash, so the whole stunt was pre-meditated. This is not a spontaneous act that occurred on the spur of the moment. It wasn't a case of 'act first, think later.' He thought about it, and then he did it, which again, only proves how emotionally detached from her he's become.

"I Lost anda the minit I left town with him. anda just haven't let yourself admit that yet."

Very interesting that Stefan claims he already knew what would happen once he left town with Klaus. After all, he knows Damon loves Elena, and maybe...just maybe...he knows she loves Damon too. Again, it's as if he's resigned himself to 'what will be'. But I don't think it's fair that he's turning everything around and essentially blaming her when she's tried so hard to fight for him and get him on the right track.

"Is that what you're doing? Trying to make me hate you?"
(pause) "I don't really care what anda think of me Elena."

OK, so if any SE peminat-peminat are still feeling upbeat, then it's because of this bit. Stefan still loves her, but he doesn't think he deserves her because of all the things he's done, so he's trying to push her away and make her hate him instead. That's one thing about Stefan that grates on my nerves. He LOVES playing the long-suffering martyr. Whether it's being locked in the cellar and wasting slowly away, atau taking his ring off and waiting for the sun to come up, Stefan is a guy who enjoys wallowing in guilt, apathy, and self-pity. I absolutely cannot accept that Stefan's determination to make Elena hate him is a sign of his Cinta for her. I think that's an absurd claim. NO WAY is that LOVE. A guy who hates what he is, and then strives to turn that hatred onto other people so they will be driven away doesn't Cinta them. It's a sign that he's psychologically damaged and needs help. It's almost like...like Stefan wants to emotionally 'punish' Elena for loving him. He can't Cinta himself, so she shouldn't either. But if he really loved her, he would try to get her back. He would apologise for everything he's done to hurt her. But Stefan can't do that, because I don't think he can fully accept the enormity of what he's done. Rather than make things right, he would rather continue snowballing down the self-destructive mountain he's on. He's being very selfish, when anda think about it. I mean, yes, he's been manipulated sejak Klaus, but he still has a choice. He could have chosen to stay in Mystic Falls at the end of 3x09 instead of running off. He could have chosen to tell Elena and Damon why he pulled Klaus off Damon instead of leaving them in the dark and thinking he'd betrayed them. But he didn't.

If Stelena can alih on from all of this, and adapt to it, then their relationship should technically be all the stronger for it, and they should be happy. However, I don't know...I would certainly be very surprised, if they succeed in doing so.
Many peminat-peminat speculate that Elena will forgive Stefan and give him another chance, because that's what she's like. Perhaps she will. I've read some theories that argue when Elena discovers that Stefan is just doing all these things to make her hate him, then she will inevitably go back to him. If it's not genuine hatred he feels for her, then it's OK. I disagree.
Stefan has a problem. He has a whole backlog of emotional issues that need sorting out. Starting with his obvious self-loathing for what he is. Damon has done many things, but he has never hated himself the way Stefan does. Stefan's catalogue of self-loathing dates decades back. I don't know how long he was off the human blood for, but it was a long time. The reason being, he wanted to atone for his former existence as a ripper. Even though he had changed his ways, he still felt guilty. And in 1x20, he insisted in languishing away in the cellar, deeming himself unworthy of hope, life, atau love, and even decided he would be better to 'end it all'. It seems to me that Damon and Stefan need 2 different types of love; Damon needs true love, and Stefan needs to Cinta himself. If Stefan cannot Cinta and accept himself as a vampire, then he will always want to punish himself. Furthermore, his feelings of guilt and self-hatred will drag Elena down with him, as we've already seen. I don't feel that Elena should get back together with Stefan. She may always yearn to go back to the good old days, but those days are gone. Stefan can't give her what she needs. He could at one point, but not now. She deserves more. Elena is unfailingly loyal, and it will be perfectly in line with her nature if she gives him another chance, and although she can be his friend and support him in other ways, it's not up to her to solve his problems. She can Cinta him, but she can't make him Cinta himself. Stefan's primary goal is to find peace, self-love and acceptance. Damon's primary goal is to wait for her so they can be together. Stelena are no longer 2 halves of the same coin; their relationship has become increasingly darker and ever lebih broken and wounded. Elena needs to realise that it's not up to her to make them whole, and that she deserves to find happiness and be loved sejak the one person who would not be able to survive without her: Damon.