So anda check out Fanpop pretty regularly, and sometimes anda see picks, comments, soapboxes, atau forum posts that anda want to respond to, but don't know if anda should. I'm not talking about whether atau not anda should add some naughty innuendo to a comment, atau reply to something that made anda laugh. I'm speaking lebih of the content that makes anda react negatively. Maybe it annoyed you, offended you, atau it's a feud between two fanpoppers that anda know. In any case, anda don't like it, and anda want to say something, but you're not sure what that is.

Now there are users who say what they think when they want to, however blunt it may be, atau how it may be interpreted sejak the masses because they aren't afraid to be who they are and say what they mean. This is awesome and worthy of commendation, and sejak all means keep doing it. Honesty is the way forward.

There are others who pause, contemplate, and phrase their thoughts in a diplomatic fashion, whether atau not it is seen as meddling, offensive, atau condescending. This is also commendable because they are the diplomats of the site. Understanding is the glue that holds us together.

There are still others who will not reply at all, generally due to the "If anda can't say something nice" vernacular that has been ingrained into our minds since grade school. This does no harm, but also does not help. It is a neutral response, and a perfectly fine thing to do if anda don't think anda can help the problem, and especially if anda think you'll just make things worse. After all, anda do have to pick your battles. Neutrality is what helps to keep things balanced.

These tend to be the three main courses of action when anda want to criticize (or accuse atau defend depending on the situation) another fanpopper. There are, of course, other ways to deal with this, but I don't want to address that. Because while all these courses of action have their pluses (mentioned above) they also have their minuses (briefly alluded to above). So here's a bit of Nasihat (mind you, anda aren't required to take it) in order to decrease the antipathy on this site.

First of all, to those who wear their hearts and minds on their sleeves:

If anda want to give a Fanpopper a piece of your mind, lebih power to you. But may I recommend a private message, as your remarks, no matter how well intended, may be taken badly and spark an argument which the rest of us aren't sure we want to be drawn into. It's great to be honest, but remember that your words, especially if there is passion behind them, are easily misinterpreted. Say your piece, but don't forget to listen to theirs. This is how arguments are resolved, with honesty and listening to each other.

If anda just have a piece of blunt criticism, the recipient may take it better if it is done privately, because they may be embarrassed if someone blatantly points out their flaws in public.

If anda are addressing a group of Fanpoppers about an issue that's been bugging you, then try not to mention names. These people will know who they are, and generally the rest of the population won't. It's often good to receive a blunt reminder on how things should be done, and it's easier to take if it's not just someone ganging up on you, personally, about it, but an entire population of transgressors.

Now, to those who believe that gentle criticism is the way to go:

Often times, diplomats can be seen as condescending atau meddling, especially if they involve themselves in an argument which they were not originally a part of. Just keep this in mind before anda involve yourself. Will anda do lebih harm than good? Often, anda can resolve a lot of different problems, especially with the help of like-minded users who also want to end the fighting. Diplomats are better in numbers. Remember, anda can't bring peace to the Middle East with just a few words. You're trying to placate matters, not necessarily cure them completely.

If anda are giving constructive criticism to a user, new atau otherwise, about how s/he should conduct him/herself, remember that though anda give advice, anda should not automatically expect others to accept it readily. Nasihat is just suggestions, not ultimatums. If anda want to emphasize the importance of taking this advice, perhaps some sharper words should be employed to get your point across (see section on wearing your hati, tengah-tengah on your sleeve for Nasihat [which anda don't have to take ;o)] on that issue). Also remember that some people don't react well to criticism, even if it's voiced delicately and constructively, so if they reject your Nasihat and throw it back in your face, do the Ghandian thing and just accept it. If anda must respond sejak giving a piece of your mind, please do it in a private message (again, the heart on your sleeves section).

Lastly, to those who choose neutral non-involvement:

Sometimes, anda can do some good, and don't forget that! It's true that anda have to pick your battles, but that involves actually picking a battle on occasion. It's not always a bad thing to get involved. Yes, sometimes, it is, but if you're feeling frustrated and never say anything about it, the problem will never get fixed. It's good to be a nice person, but everyone has their pet peeves, and anda should voice yours once in a while. I myself often claim to be "Switzerland" in plenty of disputes I don't want to involve myself in, but Switzerland didn't win any wars that way [Disclaimer: I am aware of the Swiss military history, but for metaphor's sake...].

Inevitably, what anda choose to say atau not to say is up to you. Just be prepared to take responsibility for whatever those words are.

And that's it. A senarai of Nasihat from a "diplomat" who does not necessarily expect anda to take it.

But still, it's worthy of being put out there.