(In a store)

Jareth: How much are these delightful edible crystals?
Cashier: (rolling eyes) they're rock Kandi sir and a dollar fifty.

(Clothes shopping in the mall)

Jareth: (goes up to employee with pair of leggings) excuse me.

Cashier: (looks up) what can I help anda with today?

Jareth: (holding up leggings) do anda have these in men's?

Cashier: (weirded out) yeah...ummm...no.

(At job interview for daycare)

Interviewer: have anda had any experience with kids before?

Jareth: yes indeed, anda see when unwanted children are wished away to the underground. I simply take them to my istana, castle in the goblin city where they become goblins and continue to serve me.

Interviewer: I see...and what do anda like to do in your spare time?

Jareth: I like to gaze into my crystal balls, kick and tease my goblin minions and tralala through my takhta room Singing dance magic dance.

Interviewer: (weirded out) ok we'll call anda letting anda know if anda got the job.

(Jareth leaves)

(Interviewer chucks jareth's job application in the trash)

Interviewer: Well he certainly didn't want that job...

(Jareth backs out of Cumberland farms parking lot)

(Gets rear ended)

(Both owners get out of cars to inspect damage)

Owner of other car: oh my god Im so sor---

Jareth: damn anda peasant I shall throw anda into the bog of eternal stench before anda can blink!

(Jareth goes up to an attractive woman at a bar)

woman: hei sexy.

Jareth: I ask for so little, just let me rule anda and anda can have everything that anda want.

Woman: excuse me?

Jareth: just fear me, Cinta me do as I say and I will be your slave.

(Woman smacks him upside the head)

Woman: get away from me anda jerk!

(Walks out of bar)

(Jareth devastated turns into an owl and flies away)