sorry, i could never be a capitalist, i suffer from “wanting humans to have their basic needs met” disorder, where I care about people who aren’t me.

going to start saying "male journalist" and "male comedian" and "male engineer" so people start to hear how fucking stupid it sounds

once u start thinking “oh i think i need to sit down in the shower for a little while” it’s literally all down hill from there

how do people not swear??? like where does their anger go?? how do they show their enthusiasm??? what if they stub their toe??? like saying golly gosh isn’t really gonna cut it barbara

i went to the cooking competition and all of the chefs kept yelling “cast iron pan” but i dont even know how to use that damn spell yet im not a high enough level

"i love when dudes are like "yeah i'm more of a tits/ass guy" as if they wouldn't fuck a crunchwrap supreme

some of u never tried to force a volleyball as far underwater as u could at a pool as a kid only to have it shoot up and hit u in the fucking face and it shows

YAY I LOVE THOSE PICKS. and this is me

+ the swear one, the shower one (lmao), 2020 and the chapter of my life

^ <333

this is my internal monologue literally during every date i go on

but yes this and the "damn bitch u sure u alright" the most rn

so me lmao

+ male journalist/comedian/engineer & the volleyball one