#1:
Debbie: RPG's aren't that bad.
(Jon throws "BASICALLY A FACT IN BROAD TERMS" onto screen)
Debbie's Teacher: Spells, poison, battles, maiming, killing?
Debbie: Yeah, but it's all imagination
Debbie's Teacher: IS IT?!
Jon: Is it, Debbie? Well I suggest anda read a totally real book that has absolutely no poisoning, maiming atau killing and it called the Holy Bible an- (pauses, staring blankly as he raises up the Bible) (whispery).. Oh no... that book-that book done got that.
#2:
Jon: We're here to watch, Howling ll, your sisters a werewolf.
Sister: JON! How could anda say that about me?!
Jon: Whatever, you're going through puberty, it's normal!
#3:
Penny: Drugs can get anda in big trouble. anda can go to principal's office, atau go to jail.
Jon: There's a pretty big jump between those two.
Penny: anda can't watch TV atau eat pizza.
Jon: I'm out. No pizza? Can't watch TV, can't eat pizza? Go to jail? Can't eat pizza? Won't do 'em.
Penny: Recess is good. Hamsters are good.
Jon: Hamsters are goo...? Hamsters are good? How are..? Penny, you're getting off track.
#4:
Woman: I didn't go around calling myself a farter.
Jon: Well that's probably a good thing, I don't know if anda wanna go around doing that, calling yourself that.
Woman: In my head, I was a social farter.
Jon: (Puzzled look)
Woman: I only farted occasionally.
Jon: I'm getting uncomfortable, I don't really like this, can we turn this one off?
Woman: And my boyfriend called me out on it.
Jon: And good on him. He's taking it right where it matters.
Woman: I even woke up in the morning craving a fart.
Jon (sarcastically): Nice one guys, sick metaphor. anda slipped it right in. I can't believe how smart anda were for Penulisan that.
#5:
Nitro: ARE anda READY TO RPG?!
Jon (taking out an RPG-7): Oh, motherfucker, I was born ready!
Nitro: Then let's get ready to RPG!!!
Party: RPG! RPG! RPG!
Jon: Well if anda say so!
(Fires a rocket at Marcie and Debbie)
(Cue a shout of "ALLAHU AKBAR!!!" followed sejak a building exploding)
#6:
JonTron: Let's celebrate. Yeah! Ugly people never win! That's the moral of the story, guys!
#7:
JonTron: Oh geez. Oh darn it. They got fat.
#8:
Jon: Oh, now that's cool I'm jumpin', I'm jivin'... (Vanilla Ice finally appears) Annnnnd, It's gone! It's gone, It's absolutely gone, it's ruined, unsalvageable...
#9:
When Ice's character sees a pretty girl on a horse, he, for whatever reason decides to jump his motorbike over the fence to greet her, scaring the horse enough to knock her off. Understandably enraged that he nearly killed her, she punches him which Ice respondes sejak saying ''"what's your problem!?"
Jon: Yeah what's your problem!? anda Berlakon like I just jumped a fence on a motorcycle making anda fall off your horse, and nearly break your spine! What are you, some kinda, (draws rectangle with hands) some kinda square?!
#10:
Jon: Agh! I hate it when my computer combusts because my own blood from my blood bag is spilling on my computer AAAAAGHHH! If only there was some way to fix this!
(A hand comes out of nowhere and sloppily slaps flex tape onto the hole)
Jon: Of course! The solution was Flex Tape!
#11:
Jon: FLEX TAPE! Okay, anda heard about this stuff! I mean, this is basically— have anda heard of JESUS?! WELL EVEN HE COULDN'T DO AS MUCH AS FLEX TAPE, APPARENTLY!!
#12:
Phil: (grunting with each stab) That's a lotta damage!
Jon: That's a LOTTA DAA MIDGE
Phil: That's a lotta damage!
Jon: That's not that much damage, really, Phil. That's not—it could be worse...
#13:
Jon: Dude, you're number one.
Sergio: No, you're number one.
Jon: No, you're number one.
Sergio: No, you're number one.
Jon (now lebih angry): Dude, anda are number one!
Sergio: No, anda are number one!
Jon: MOTHERFUCKER, anda ARE NUMBER ONE!!!
Sergio: [visibly Corpsing] NO, MOTHERFUCKER, anda ARE NUMBER ONE!!
Jon: I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!
#14:
Jon: But anyways, this vodka is very special. Mainly because Dan Aykroyd is uh, 100% butt-fuck insane.
#15:
Jon: (ringing a loud bell) Four minit and fifty six seconds! That's four minit and fifty-six saat this man took to say the word vodka in this commercial about VODKA!
#16:
Gwyneth: This is the shiiiit!
Jon: Don't curse, Gwyneth-(a train horn goes off in the distance) SHUT THE FUCK UP! Don't curse, Gwyneth.
#17:
In video, guy starts fanboying at seeing Elijah Wood on the plane
Jon: Aw dude, (camera zooms into guy seterusnya to Elijah) That's a sweet hat!
#18:
Nito (gets disturbingly close to the girls)
Debbie: We're...
Macie: Just leaving:
Jon: Oh hi, Just Leaving, I'm *blows whistle* RAPE!!!
#19:
Ben: That's a fake. That's not my sister.
Jenny: Ben I know those people.
Jon: PROOF!!!
#20:
Vanilla Ice: So what's it like?
Girl: What's what like?
Ice: anda know, having.. Parents.. Brothers.. All that, stuff.. Y'know?
Jon (dressed as alien): I am simply asking a normal human soalan out of curiosity not to mine data HUMAAAAANNNNNN!!!
#21:
Jon (singing): BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! D&D WILL! GIVE YOU! AAAAAAAIDS! THEN YOU'LL GO TO HELL WITH ALL THE CATHOLICS AND JEWS AND PLAY MAGIC THE GATHERING WITH SATAAAAAAAAAN!!!
(later)
Jon (singing): PLAAAYIN' GAMES WITH AN EVIL WITCH WOMAN "WHO'S DEFINITELY COLLEGE AGE", WAIT, WHY DID THAT GUY JUST BLOW SMOKE OUT OF HIS FACE?! THAT'S WEIRD... When anda die in the game, anda die in real life, except ya don't, anda go back to your dorm and play some GTA V!!
#22:
Dad character: My real name, is Hacket.. James Anthony Hackett, Jimmy.
Jon: Jimbo, Jim-Jar, sometimes down at the pub they'd call me Dan, but my name isn't "Dan". I was once visited sejak an alien species. They referred to me as [cue incomprehensible distortion]. I've never been able to unhear atau unsee that.
#23:
Jon: We get it, Rareware! anda used to be cool! Can-can anda get on with it? STOP!.. STOP IT!.. STOP TAUNTING ME!
#24:
"STOP!!"
#25:
Jon: Cars?.. Cars!?.. CAAAAARS!?
Jon: (scream singing) AND IIIIIIIII!!
Jon: (normal) holly SHIT!!
Jon: (scream singing) WILL ALWAYS Cinta YOOOOOUU!!
Jon: (normal) CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME!? GODDAMMIT!, HOW CAN anda DO THIS TO ME!?!?
#26:
Jon: She's sinking! The plot is sinking! Quick, hire the emergency writers! (tosses a bunch of script pages out the window)
#27:
Jon: ...the fuck am I looking at right now? Am I looking at anda dreaming about being at the pantai while you're at the FUCKIN' BEACH?!
#28:
Jon: And let me tell ya, that's not the only talking cat I got in this house. And no, sejak the way, I am not referring to Talking Tom.
(Cut to a picture of Talking Tom and Angela, all with screaming in the background.)
#29:
Phil: Vroom, vroom! Beep '! Beep beep!
Chris: Why do anda always do that, dad?
Jon: Yeah, dad, every hari with this shit, I'm sittin' here, readin' my book, anda waltz in the door make a car noise at me, I'm supposed to like it? (Begins putting on a large bib) Well fuck anda dad, honestly, if it was a choo-choo train noise, maybe I would laugh, but a car noise? What do I look like to you, some sorta big baby?! (Puts a pacifier in his mouth and starts shaking a rattle)
#30:
Bickering ensues among Tina and Trent (the brother and sister in the film).
Jon (Deadpan): What a big happy family we got here.
Susan: Just help me find my shoes, okay? atau I won't feed anda this week.
Jon: (With additional reverb) What a big happy family we got here.
#31:
After wandering around for the entire movie, Duffy finally makes a contribution to the plot...by immediately getting run over sejak a car.
Jon: (long moment of horrified silence) ...Well that cat ain't talking no more, I'll tell ya that much.
#32:
In response to Luther, "like a normal person", handing out flyers to everyone in his office that he isn't doing Christmas, Jon wonders who would actually care. Cut to two employees (one played sejak Jon) getting berkata flyers.
Employee 1 (Jon): I’m letting anda know I‘ll be, skipping Christmas… (shakes with tranquil fury, crumbles paper)
Employee 2: (calmly, to himself) Go ahead... Run... But we will find you.
#33:
After Luther (rather rudely) explains why he isn't buying a Krismas tree,
Jon: Yeah fuck anda for trying to celebrate the spirit of Krismas while making my life selamat, peti deposit keselamatan warm and convenient!! (slams down Krismas tree)
Jon (while pissing on the tree) How's this for a Merry Christmas, anda bunch a' young innocent children trying to foster a loving community spirit?!
#34:
Luther sees cruise ad, smiles to himself.
Jon (spits) Fuck christmas! I’ll rather drink my own urine than celebrate christmas! (to viewer) Thanks for watching my Krismas special everyone, be selamat, peti deposit keselamatan (spits)
#35:
Jon: Okay. One.
Jacques: What even.
Jon: I counted anda in—
Jacques: Go to fucking hell.
#36:
Judge: anda weren't happy being the youngest. anda didn't accuss the way things were, role the clip.
Matt in clip: Reality, who needs it, I hate reality.
17 LIFE SENTENCES
5 LETHAL INJECTIONS
10 DECADES OF FAMILIAL SHAMING
Jon: The moral of this story is "Never think, atau else the secret police might catch anda and kill anda no matter what!”
#37:
Matt: Endorse? Endorse what?!
Jon (as Matt): I thought sports were played outdorse.
#38:
Jon: (cheerfully) Oh, Larry. anda jus- a- st- you're a fucking asshole.
#39:
Game: This takes place Steptember.
Jon: What a relief, it’s not even the scary month.
Game corrects it to October.
Jon (horrified) OH, DAT'S THE ONE!!!
#40:
Girl in game: From now on, what kind of place will we be living in?
Guy in game: That’s the fifth time you['ve] asked!
Jon: Yeah, well, maybe it'd be the last time if anda just fucking told me!
#41;
Jon: It's Krismas time. A time to spend with friends, family, and of course little baby Jesus over here! How anda enjoying your birthday, buddy? enjoy it while anda can, I mean they do some "fucked up" shit to you! Like, they fuck anda up, dude.
#42:
"What else could ever happen to us, today?”
Jon: Lady, anda just got turned into a horse! I'm 'onna say sky's the limit!
#43:
"HOW anda LIVIN' CHICKEN BOY?"
Jon (dressed as a chicken): Well first of all, that insult could've used some work. saat of all, the pain and humiliation I feel daily are immense. For someone like anda to cut someone like me deeper...Well, anda must have problems yourself buddy, so I feel bad for you. (whips out a nunchuck and begins swinging it around awkwardly) AND HOW FUCKING DARE anda SAY THAT TO ME I'M GONNA MAKE anda FOR-REGRET THOSE GODDAMN WORDS!!
#44:
Snow White: This is my song. I am Singing it now.
Jon: Aw, sick lyrics, dude! Sick song! (Jon pulls a lighter out of his pocket and starts waving it back and forth)
#45:
Jon in Elsa's dress.
THIS WAS A MISTAAAAAKE!!!
#46:
L.O.G.: In line with Banjo tradition, your challenge will consist of collecting as many pointless objects as possible.
(Record Needle Scratch)
Jon: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! anda JUST HOLD ON A SECOND!
(cut to a fat Banjo running and picking up coins at a horrendously slow pace)
Jon: HAHAHAHA GET IT? BECAUSE BANJO-KAZOOIE WAS TOTALLY "THIS" TEDIOUS! (cut to black) (Jon's voice far away) HOLY SHIT!!!
#47:
Jon; That's not how that works yo- [distorted voice] anda fuckers. anda motherfu- I will rain hellfire upon you.
#48:
Jimmy ends up folding and taking the chance to leave during the town hall, five days in. After he left, that's when Karsh decides to bring out the 20 thousand dollar emas bintang that was the prize for the hardest worker.
Jon: What the hell!? Okay, ''now'' he brings it up? Like the second, the literal saat Jimmy leaves he's like "alright, now that that loser's gone, who wants to win twenty thousand dollars!?" Jimmy was robbed. I'm just gonna say it, Jimmy was robbed here.
#49:
An airport attendant asks a man to put his pens in a tray before being allowed to pass through.The man responds sejak saying, "Sure," before stylishly taking out a switchblade and violently stabbing and slashing the attendant.
Jon: Dude, anda could've just put the pens in the tray, let's be real..
#50:
Jon: Real-life situations were off the fucking charts! Can I say fuck? Can I say fuck on this website? Can I say (long censor beep) cunt (short censor beep) breath?
Debbie: RPG's aren't that bad.
(Jon throws "BASICALLY A FACT IN BROAD TERMS" onto screen)
Debbie's Teacher: Spells, poison, battles, maiming, killing?
Debbie: Yeah, but it's all imagination
Debbie's Teacher: IS IT?!
Jon: Is it, Debbie? Well I suggest anda read a totally real book that has absolutely no poisoning, maiming atau killing and it called the Holy Bible an- (pauses, staring blankly as he raises up the Bible) (whispery).. Oh no... that book-that book done got that.
#2:
Jon: We're here to watch, Howling ll, your sisters a werewolf.
Sister: JON! How could anda say that about me?!
Jon: Whatever, you're going through puberty, it's normal!
#3:
Penny: Drugs can get anda in big trouble. anda can go to principal's office, atau go to jail.
Jon: There's a pretty big jump between those two.
Penny: anda can't watch TV atau eat pizza.
Jon: I'm out. No pizza? Can't watch TV, can't eat pizza? Go to jail? Can't eat pizza? Won't do 'em.
Penny: Recess is good. Hamsters are good.
Jon: Hamsters are goo...? Hamsters are good? How are..? Penny, you're getting off track.
#4:
Woman: I didn't go around calling myself a farter.
Jon: Well that's probably a good thing, I don't know if anda wanna go around doing that, calling yourself that.
Woman: In my head, I was a social farter.
Jon: (Puzzled look)
Woman: I only farted occasionally.
Jon: I'm getting uncomfortable, I don't really like this, can we turn this one off?
Woman: And my boyfriend called me out on it.
Jon: And good on him. He's taking it right where it matters.
Woman: I even woke up in the morning craving a fart.
Jon (sarcastically): Nice one guys, sick metaphor. anda slipped it right in. I can't believe how smart anda were for Penulisan that.
#5:
Nitro: ARE anda READY TO RPG?!
Jon (taking out an RPG-7): Oh, motherfucker, I was born ready!
Nitro: Then let's get ready to RPG!!!
Party: RPG! RPG! RPG!
Jon: Well if anda say so!
(Fires a rocket at Marcie and Debbie)
(Cue a shout of "ALLAHU AKBAR!!!" followed sejak a building exploding)
#6:
JonTron: Let's celebrate. Yeah! Ugly people never win! That's the moral of the story, guys!
#7:
JonTron: Oh geez. Oh darn it. They got fat.
#8:
Jon: Oh, now that's cool I'm jumpin', I'm jivin'... (Vanilla Ice finally appears) Annnnnd, It's gone! It's gone, It's absolutely gone, it's ruined, unsalvageable...
#9:
When Ice's character sees a pretty girl on a horse, he, for whatever reason decides to jump his motorbike over the fence to greet her, scaring the horse enough to knock her off. Understandably enraged that he nearly killed her, she punches him which Ice respondes sejak saying ''"what's your problem!?"
Jon: Yeah what's your problem!? anda Berlakon like I just jumped a fence on a motorcycle making anda fall off your horse, and nearly break your spine! What are you, some kinda, (draws rectangle with hands) some kinda square?!
#10:
Jon: Agh! I hate it when my computer combusts because my own blood from my blood bag is spilling on my computer AAAAAGHHH! If only there was some way to fix this!
(A hand comes out of nowhere and sloppily slaps flex tape onto the hole)
Jon: Of course! The solution was Flex Tape!
#11:
Jon: FLEX TAPE! Okay, anda heard about this stuff! I mean, this is basically— have anda heard of JESUS?! WELL EVEN HE COULDN'T DO AS MUCH AS FLEX TAPE, APPARENTLY!!
#12:
Phil: (grunting with each stab) That's a lotta damage!
Jon: That's a LOTTA DAA MIDGE
Phil: That's a lotta damage!
Jon: That's not that much damage, really, Phil. That's not—it could be worse...
#13:
Jon: Dude, you're number one.
Sergio: No, you're number one.
Jon: No, you're number one.
Sergio: No, you're number one.
Jon (now lebih angry): Dude, anda are number one!
Sergio: No, anda are number one!
Jon: MOTHERFUCKER, anda ARE NUMBER ONE!!!
Sergio: [visibly Corpsing] NO, MOTHERFUCKER, anda ARE NUMBER ONE!!
Jon: I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!!!
#14:
Jon: But anyways, this vodka is very special. Mainly because Dan Aykroyd is uh, 100% butt-fuck insane.
#15:
Jon: (ringing a loud bell) Four minit and fifty six seconds! That's four minit and fifty-six saat this man took to say the word vodka in this commercial about VODKA!
#16:
Gwyneth: This is the shiiiit!
Jon: Don't curse, Gwyneth-(a train horn goes off in the distance) SHUT THE FUCK UP! Don't curse, Gwyneth.
#17:
In video, guy starts fanboying at seeing Elijah Wood on the plane
Jon: Aw dude, (camera zooms into guy seterusnya to Elijah) That's a sweet hat!
#18:
Nito (gets disturbingly close to the girls)
Debbie: We're...
Macie: Just leaving:
Jon: Oh hi, Just Leaving, I'm *blows whistle* RAPE!!!
#19:
Ben: That's a fake. That's not my sister.
Jenny: Ben I know those people.
Jon: PROOF!!!
#20:
Vanilla Ice: So what's it like?
Girl: What's what like?
Ice: anda know, having.. Parents.. Brothers.. All that, stuff.. Y'know?
Jon (dressed as alien): I am simply asking a normal human soalan out of curiosity not to mine data HUMAAAAANNNNNN!!!
#21:
Jon (singing): BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! BLOOOOOOOOOD DICE! D&D WILL! GIVE YOU! AAAAAAAIDS! THEN YOU'LL GO TO HELL WITH ALL THE CATHOLICS AND JEWS AND PLAY MAGIC THE GATHERING WITH SATAAAAAAAAAN!!!
(later)
Jon (singing): PLAAAYIN' GAMES WITH AN EVIL WITCH WOMAN "WHO'S DEFINITELY COLLEGE AGE", WAIT, WHY DID THAT GUY JUST BLOW SMOKE OUT OF HIS FACE?! THAT'S WEIRD... When anda die in the game, anda die in real life, except ya don't, anda go back to your dorm and play some GTA V!!
#22:
Dad character: My real name, is Hacket.. James Anthony Hackett, Jimmy.
Jon: Jimbo, Jim-Jar, sometimes down at the pub they'd call me Dan, but my name isn't "Dan". I was once visited sejak an alien species. They referred to me as [cue incomprehensible distortion]. I've never been able to unhear atau unsee that.
#23:
Jon: We get it, Rareware! anda used to be cool! Can-can anda get on with it? STOP!.. STOP IT!.. STOP TAUNTING ME!
#24:
"STOP!!"
#25:
Jon: Cars?.. Cars!?.. CAAAAARS!?
Jon: (scream singing) AND IIIIIIIII!!
Jon: (normal) holly SHIT!!
Jon: (scream singing) WILL ALWAYS Cinta YOOOOOUU!!
Jon: (normal) CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'D DO THIS TO ME!? GODDAMMIT!, HOW CAN anda DO THIS TO ME!?!?
#26:
Jon: She's sinking! The plot is sinking! Quick, hire the emergency writers! (tosses a bunch of script pages out the window)
#27:
Jon: ...the fuck am I looking at right now? Am I looking at anda dreaming about being at the pantai while you're at the FUCKIN' BEACH?!
#28:
Jon: And let me tell ya, that's not the only talking cat I got in this house. And no, sejak the way, I am not referring to Talking Tom.
(Cut to a picture of Talking Tom and Angela, all with screaming in the background.)
#29:
Phil: Vroom, vroom! Beep '! Beep beep!
Chris: Why do anda always do that, dad?
Jon: Yeah, dad, every hari with this shit, I'm sittin' here, readin' my book, anda waltz in the door make a car noise at me, I'm supposed to like it? (Begins putting on a large bib) Well fuck anda dad, honestly, if it was a choo-choo train noise, maybe I would laugh, but a car noise? What do I look like to you, some sorta big baby?! (Puts a pacifier in his mouth and starts shaking a rattle)
#30:
Bickering ensues among Tina and Trent (the brother and sister in the film).
Jon (Deadpan): What a big happy family we got here.
Susan: Just help me find my shoes, okay? atau I won't feed anda this week.
Jon: (With additional reverb) What a big happy family we got here.
#31:
After wandering around for the entire movie, Duffy finally makes a contribution to the plot...by immediately getting run over sejak a car.
Jon: (long moment of horrified silence) ...Well that cat ain't talking no more, I'll tell ya that much.
#32:
In response to Luther, "like a normal person", handing out flyers to everyone in his office that he isn't doing Christmas, Jon wonders who would actually care. Cut to two employees (one played sejak Jon) getting berkata flyers.
Employee 1 (Jon): I’m letting anda know I‘ll be, skipping Christmas… (shakes with tranquil fury, crumbles paper)
Employee 2: (calmly, to himself) Go ahead... Run... But we will find you.
#33:
After Luther (rather rudely) explains why he isn't buying a Krismas tree,
Jon: Yeah fuck anda for trying to celebrate the spirit of Krismas while making my life selamat, peti deposit keselamatan warm and convenient!! (slams down Krismas tree)
Jon (while pissing on the tree) How's this for a Merry Christmas, anda bunch a' young innocent children trying to foster a loving community spirit?!
#34:
Luther sees cruise ad, smiles to himself.
Jon (spits) Fuck christmas! I’ll rather drink my own urine than celebrate christmas! (to viewer) Thanks for watching my Krismas special everyone, be selamat, peti deposit keselamatan (spits)
#35:
Jon: Okay. One.
Jacques: What even.
Jon: I counted anda in—
Jacques: Go to fucking hell.
#36:
Judge: anda weren't happy being the youngest. anda didn't accuss the way things were, role the clip.
Matt in clip: Reality, who needs it, I hate reality.
17 LIFE SENTENCES
5 LETHAL INJECTIONS
10 DECADES OF FAMILIAL SHAMING
Jon: The moral of this story is "Never think, atau else the secret police might catch anda and kill anda no matter what!”
#37:
Matt: Endorse? Endorse what?!
Jon (as Matt): I thought sports were played outdorse.
#38:
Jon: (cheerfully) Oh, Larry. anda jus- a- st- you're a fucking asshole.
#39:
Game: This takes place Steptember.
Jon: What a relief, it’s not even the scary month.
Game corrects it to October.
Jon (horrified) OH, DAT'S THE ONE!!!
#40:
Girl in game: From now on, what kind of place will we be living in?
Guy in game: That’s the fifth time you['ve] asked!
Jon: Yeah, well, maybe it'd be the last time if anda just fucking told me!
#41;
Jon: It's Krismas time. A time to spend with friends, family, and of course little baby Jesus over here! How anda enjoying your birthday, buddy? enjoy it while anda can, I mean they do some "fucked up" shit to you! Like, they fuck anda up, dude.
#42:
"What else could ever happen to us, today?”
Jon: Lady, anda just got turned into a horse! I'm 'onna say sky's the limit!
#43:
"HOW anda LIVIN' CHICKEN BOY?"
Jon (dressed as a chicken): Well first of all, that insult could've used some work. saat of all, the pain and humiliation I feel daily are immense. For someone like anda to cut someone like me deeper...Well, anda must have problems yourself buddy, so I feel bad for you. (whips out a nunchuck and begins swinging it around awkwardly) AND HOW FUCKING DARE anda SAY THAT TO ME I'M GONNA MAKE anda FOR-REGRET THOSE GODDAMN WORDS!!
#44:
Snow White: This is my song. I am Singing it now.
Jon: Aw, sick lyrics, dude! Sick song! (Jon pulls a lighter out of his pocket and starts waving it back and forth)
#45:
Jon in Elsa's dress.
THIS WAS A MISTAAAAAKE!!!
#46:
L.O.G.: In line with Banjo tradition, your challenge will consist of collecting as many pointless objects as possible.
(Record Needle Scratch)
Jon: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! anda JUST HOLD ON A SECOND!
(cut to a fat Banjo running and picking up coins at a horrendously slow pace)
Jon: HAHAHAHA GET IT? BECAUSE BANJO-KAZOOIE WAS TOTALLY "THIS" TEDIOUS! (cut to black) (Jon's voice far away) HOLY SHIT!!!
#47:
Jon; That's not how that works yo- [distorted voice] anda fuckers. anda motherfu- I will rain hellfire upon you.
#48:
Jimmy ends up folding and taking the chance to leave during the town hall, five days in. After he left, that's when Karsh decides to bring out the 20 thousand dollar emas bintang that was the prize for the hardest worker.
Jon: What the hell!? Okay, ''now'' he brings it up? Like the second, the literal saat Jimmy leaves he's like "alright, now that that loser's gone, who wants to win twenty thousand dollars!?" Jimmy was robbed. I'm just gonna say it, Jimmy was robbed here.
#49:
An airport attendant asks a man to put his pens in a tray before being allowed to pass through.The man responds sejak saying, "Sure," before stylishly taking out a switchblade and violently stabbing and slashing the attendant.
Jon: Dude, anda could've just put the pens in the tray, let's be real..
#50:
Jon: Real-life situations were off the fucking charts! Can I say fuck? Can I say fuck on this website? Can I say (long censor beep) cunt (short censor beep) breath?
Michael approched Doctor Fredlanders office.
Fredlander: So.. I see your back around and making time for your mental health.
Michael: Not sure sejak I came to be honest.. Your not really doing much to help me.
Fredlander: Well.. The usually implies your value yourself only s others value you. Witch is usually the result of result of having a miserable childhood.
Audience; (laughs)
Michael: Well.. I had a perfectly wonderful childhood.
Fredlander: (unconvienced) Really.. Tell me about it?
Audience: (laughs)
(20 minit later)
Michael: (sobbing uncontrollable and lying on the couch, with. Box of tissues, and lots of rolled up tissues around him) and above all else., when I was 11, my mommy told me that my pet penyu ran away.. (sniffs) but he didn't run away.. TURTLES CAN'T RUN!!
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: (continues crying loudly)
Fredlander: So.. I see your back around and making time for your mental health.
Michael: Not sure sejak I came to be honest.. Your not really doing much to help me.
Fredlander: Well.. The usually implies your value yourself only s others value you. Witch is usually the result of result of having a miserable childhood.
Audience; (laughs)
Michael: Well.. I had a perfectly wonderful childhood.
Fredlander: (unconvienced) Really.. Tell me about it?
Audience: (laughs)
(20 minit later)
Michael: (sobbing uncontrollable and lying on the couch, with. Box of tissues, and lots of rolled up tissues around him) and above all else., when I was 11, my mommy told me that my pet penyu ran away.. (sniffs) but he didn't run away.. TURTLES CAN'T RUN!!
Audience: (laughs)
Michael: (continues crying loudly)
