hate myself

i hate my parents especially on festivals whee guest come.i can,t even talk freely.all they want to is tunjuk off that my f daughter do this much work.she is a f maid of our house.wtf.......................................
really i hate them their attitude of controlling my life.
sometime i find myself in a trap.a ever ending torcher of mind my emotions where i have a live sejak killing my dreams my emotions,my esteem
i want t slap myself i feel lucky that i have Fantasi prone personality otherwise i am dead till this movt....
i will make them pay.i ma going to ran away from them and never going to back.if life of so many ppl depend on me not mean i ma going to compromise my f dreams and emotions......
go to hell.....
and stop f me all the time and let me live my life...
get ready anda will have to pay for all your debts.



be ready
19 aug 13
one hari before rakhi

there are so many reasons why i hate my bullshit life.can,t tell one.really i don,t know my parents are like this.all they want is there bullshit fucking reputation nothing else.they don,t care about my happiness.i thought that my mother is my best friend.how wrong i was.she is not even my friend.she is nothing but my biological mother who thinks that she have right on me to make me do thing which i want.i can,t go any where with my own.why someone is going to rape me...wtf
it is time to make a decision that i am not going to interfere in their life.just concentrate on mine...............okay just concentrate on mine.

dreams are what/.......our desires
but what about me who don,t have to dream...k pop and [b]shinee[b] is really like sunshine to me.a warm and shining light of sun to my dark life.i really don,t know what i do if i don,t find them.my inspiration,my idol, my resource of everything which i achieve in life and going to achieve.my endless sumber of motivation and happines.
today on 24 june 2013 another hari when i am felling depress after thinking about my future.
but whenever i listen their songs they give me new life , a new inspiration to live my life peacefully and happily.
[i]as people say all is well if ends well[i]
when i write artikel-artikel here i ma really deprees but i don,t have to loose hopes.
i can do after i do jbt atleast..............when i get job i will do whatever i want.i have to study so that i don,t loose grip on study and on my mind :P
get with rythem and fighting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am so so so tired from my family,they are just sometime ruin my life.sometime i just think of suicide but one of my friend say never stop fighting.i know sometime life become sweet sometime masam but it still go on.but seriously i hate but i know a thing that i have some plans for my life and i have to make my dreams come true.get off from all this stuff.one hari i go from this country,this economy and from this male dominated society and never come back.and no one is able to stop me.,my dreams is become a buisness executive and my parents want me to become a teacher noooooo way i am not going to be a teacher.
they want me to marry a guy they like in some how related to their side but i want to marry a forigner who Cinta me ....wait actually Cinta me okay!!
and if he cheat on me i don,t have any problem coz that was my choice not nay other choice i can live my life alone atau with my childs if i have.in any condition is not going to return this country again in my life

i hate myself ppl say im fat and ugly and hairy the komen me in all ways possible ,,what are they describing ?a monster ...i hate them all even my close Friends say hard words to me ..i hate it ,,,,everyone is so stupid does they think that i dont see myself ??they say your hair is ugly sejak example,,,,,,,,,,, and my parents sometimes make me go crazy ,,they put to much stress on me ..study study study always study ,,am i a college student ???ppl dont understand me they think wrong of me they misunderstand me all the time ..
haa good to get that out of me ...

LOL:)on my luck
fufugfugugugug......
i mean really gender descrimenation between their children is such a kick keldai ...damn man
what the fuck my parents do.....i hate this and my hatred is increasing hari sejak day..what i do
i hate my hatred that i hate my parents but when they do things which hurt me and i hate them that,s why i make this club ......
but whta the fuck my life from me i don,t know and i don,.t give fuck so easily........i try harder to make my life better and situation good.......:L

hahaha....i want to laugh so loud on my destiny.......
i mean really i am no one.......
but one thing about my Cinta is cavin.....
but that is another story
i mean my parents both are same.male dominated and i am bluddy jalang, perempuan jalang staying with them...but what i do i don,t have any other option......sometime i think that is i am really their daughter atau of some one else...
my mother loves me but sometime she also get so bad...
sometimes i cry so hard..i can,t do anything other than crying........
but really i am jalang, perempuan jalang after all this stuff i still Cinta them....i hate myself for this.they always say i am girl otherwise they do this ,they say this..so hari na...
who say don,t say anything please say something man....damn
no phone.no Facebook my bro who is five tahun smaller have FB why not me just b,coz i am girl so forgive me if i am girl...plse don,t make my life worst it is till so bad