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Regina is a woman who just seems to have such a hard time letting things go--from having a hard time forgiving those who wronged her to struggling to forgive herself.
As mentioned prior, Regina can hold a wicked grudge, I mean she cursed a town for 28 years because little Snow White had a hand in the death of her lover. But this grudge-holding isn't just limited to other people. In fact I feel as though she is harder on herself than she is on anyone else. This is something that we've seen throughout Regina's redemption arc and especially in the season 5's finale. And with the Evil Queen now completely separate from Regina herself I have a feeling we will be seeing this a lot more.
With season 5's finale in mind, Regina had a rather touching scene with Emma. I am referring to the one where she claims that if she does bad she'll suffer and if she does good she'll still suffer. In light of this, Audreygrace pointed out that Regina "is accurately looking at her past but not accurately looking at her future. I think she is right to feel the blame and guilt she does but I think she takes it too far when she allows herself to be convinced that now she'll just only suffer for the rest of her life." Which is kind of how I feel as well. I mean as Audrey said; she takes it too far when she thinks that the future is only going to bring her pain. Moreover that her past is going to impact and dictate the rest of her life. For this I feel like she has a very hard time moving forward. Not just with this but in general. Regina seems to cling to and get stuck on things; like how she was stuck on Dan and stuck on revenge. The poor woman just seems to have trouble letting go.
That said, I do think she is being, has been, and will likely continue being very hard on herself for that reason. Yeah she's analyzing the past accurately but she seems to beat herself up over it. And she beats herself up pretty bad. Like she has such a hard time forgiving herself; even when Snow and the main people she's harmed have told her that it's okay and they forgive her. I also feel as though she sometimes thinks that she is a bad person. In other words she can't seem to let go of her shadowy past.
Which is why I think it would benefit her to focus on how hard she tried to fight the darkness. And that there was only so much she could take, so much manipulation she could endure before she finally snapped and gave in. She was put under so much pressure sejak her mother and emas (with the help of Jeff and Whale) worked so hard to mold her into the darkness to meet their own ends. They used her sorrow to soil her innocence. Because myself and Audrey have come to believe that a lot of the hurt probably comes from the fact that she knows that had things been different she could have been a completely different person and she doesn't seem to know how to cope with that kind of balancing.
This goes hand in hand with her not being able to let go of the past. Regina seems to be so hooked on how things could have been and the innocence that she once had--that was taken from her--that she struggles to alih forward.
Instead of clinging to the past and the would haves, I think it would help her to see the strength in coming back from such a dark place. One would have to be a genuinely good person to be able to pull him/herself out of that dismal place.
I think she's always been a good woman at heart. Even at her evilest, she was just someone overwhelmed sejak heartbreak, loss, and sorrow. And because of that, she became the things she tried her very hardest to fight and overcome. So I would say that its important for her to conquer (physically) the woman she became. I think that will help her realize how strong she is and how much she didn't want to become the woman she did. Moreover it'll tunjuk her how much she changed. And from there it can help her alih ke hadapan and learn to put the past in the past.
And acceptance is a huge part of that. She needs to learn to accept what happened and look at a possible brighter outcome for her future. It would be really good for her. Because there are so, so many ways in which she could have happiness. The problem is she's just been through so much her optimism has been shot straight to hell. Which is one of the reasons I cite as to why she has such a hard time moving on and forgiving herself. She just had so many negative experiences that those became her default basis-es for what the future will look like. She has seen happiness only to lose it once again. She has forgiven herself in the past only to relapse and become frustrated in herself once again.
This time I believe will be much different for her though. As emas berkata "for better atau for worse this is who anda are now." She's a changed woman and based on her curbing her initial instinct to rip Hook's throat out and become violently angry with/misplace her anger on to Emma, I'd say she's doing very good. The problem is that Regina is still unsure as to whether atau not she's doing good.
Even others have seen this. Snow, Emma, Henry, Charming, and many other of the main people she's harmed have forgiven her. Which I think should help her forgive herself. I feel like Regina realizing just how many people forgive her and see good in her will help lift her spirits and help her forgive herself. Because she seems like one of those people who judge themselves very harshly. Audrey mentioned that Regina pushes others really hard but seems to double that with herself. Honestly I think that fact that she pushes herself so hard is exactly what makes it easier for her to push others hard.
Audreygrace also stated, "I think she feels unworthy of being such a "hero" sometimes, as she feels like she spent too much time on the other side." This is something I also agreed with. I mean throughout season 3 she was saying things like "I did (x deed) to make sure the savior/the Charmings won't have too." Which in itself makes things worse as she is just doing lebih things that she would later feel ashamed of. Likewise I think that the 'I'll do it so they won't dirty their hands' goes hand in hand with the forgiveness. Since she can't seem to forgive herself she also can't find it in her to think that she's a real hero. Which is again a detrimental way of thinking, seeing as it creates a vicious sort of cycle.
Among the scenes Audrey and I really like are the ones (as Audrey put it) where "people tell her, 'yes anda were the Evil Queen and anda were so powerful because of who anda were, not just what anda did.' I like when they remind her that talents can be used for good atau evil'" Because these are the scenes that will help her start moving away from who she once was. And on bahagian, atas of that, what makes those scenes wonderful is that they aren't trying to change her personality completely. They're still letting her be Regina. They're simply pointing out that she can use her talents and do what she does best, but directing it to a lebih noble cause. If she lets the darkness eat her up, she'll be a real pain for the Heroes but if she fights the darkness, she could be one the most vital components in the "good vs evil battle". Because I do believe that it has; she has been such a huge factor in their victories. Now if only she could begin to believe the same.
With that berkata I believe that Emma, Henry, and the Charmings are extremely important in keeping Regina on the right track. We have a character cast that is just so supportive of each other. They just play so well off of each other. And they tunjuk how there's usually always a choice and even if anda make the wrong one anda can come back from it. They can depend on each other's strengths when they are feeling weak in themselves atau are weak in certain areas. They can encourage each other in so many ways. Which is another great thing about the diversity of the characters; each character has come from a different walk of life and has made his atau her mistakes. And because of that they are better able to help each other. Audrey used Regina's chat with Snow about killing her mother to point this out. Another good set of examples are seen when Regina talks to Zelena about redemption. One of my kegemaran things Lana has berkata in an interview is, "Regina shows that good can come from broken things."
For me the Regina and Zelena moments are also just another sign that Regina forgives other people lebih easily than she forgives herself. I get this sense that she thought Zelena would have an easier time earning the trust of the Heroes than she did.
On bahagian, atas of that, she actually did let go of the wrongs Zelena did her fairly quickly and with almost no hesitance. Which is a sign that she is learning from her mistakes; season 1 Regina probably would have kept that sisterly feud going on for decades.
With all of this said, I think that this new arc--Regina seeing herself as the Evil Queen--will hopefully help her recognize exactly how different she really is now and why it's okay to try and build a positive future. Why it's okay for her to learn to let things go. That's what I hope comes out of the arc. I feel like this is the arc that has the potential to finally mend what is broken in Regina, ease the hurt. And heaven knows she needs the pain of the past soothed. I think that this will come with support and encouragement from the other characters and of course a lot of self-strength and resilience.
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