I wrote this when I was still figuring out who I am and when I was clearly lost, about 2 years ago. Here goes:
Fake friends
I'm tired of pretending
That I'm always happy
When I'm some times
NOT!
I've got fake friends
Who call themselves
My friends
When they're NOT!
Friends are true,
They don't lie,
They don't pretend
And they're there 4 u.
My Friends aren't true,
They do lie,
They pretend every day
And they aren't there 4 me.
How can 1 be happy
When they're pretending
And hiding
From reality.
No 1 is gonna kill u
When u stop pretending
They'll have 2 except u
As u'll have 2 except them.
I know it will be hard
2 turn away
From the fairytale life,
But I don't wanna pretend anymore.
Don't know where I'll go
If I don't have
These fake friends,
That makes me scared.
My world seems so small,
Though I know many people,
Did many things
And enjoyed it without my fake friends.
What I want is real friends,
Not fake ones,
Real Friends is what I want,
I hope we'll meet soon.
So goodbye pretending world,
This is real life,
My life
And goodbye fake friends.
Fake friends
I'm tired of pretending
That I'm always happy
When I'm some times
NOT!
I've got fake friends
Who call themselves
My friends
When they're NOT!
Friends are true,
They don't lie,
They don't pretend
And they're there 4 u.
My Friends aren't true,
They do lie,
They pretend every day
And they aren't there 4 me.
How can 1 be happy
When they're pretending
And hiding
From reality.
No 1 is gonna kill u
When u stop pretending
They'll have 2 except u
As u'll have 2 except them.
I know it will be hard
2 turn away
From the fairytale life,
But I don't wanna pretend anymore.
Don't know where I'll go
If I don't have
These fake friends,
That makes me scared.
My world seems so small,
Though I know many people,
Did many things
And enjoyed it without my fake friends.
What I want is real friends,
Not fake ones,
Real Friends is what I want,
I hope we'll meet soon.
So goodbye pretending world,
This is real life,
My life
And goodbye fake friends.
Inside the darkness of my tortured mind
I see a lifelless body
Covered with blood
As I run to hold it tight
I see myself
As tears run over my cheeks
And while the whole body is trembling
My mind is looking for a justification
In loathing and despite:
Oh, what did I achieve,
What have I become?
Living sejak the someone elses rules
Deprived of my one desires,
Just a shadow in this world
Where its beauty has never been shown
To my sad eyes.
But, is this the only exit of my pahit existence,
Is this the way to end this resident pain?
And in the darkness of my mind
Tears run over my cheeks
Asking why,
Why rain never stops,
Why sun never shines
In my eyes,
Deadness is sleeping in its depravity
And I know that I don't belong
To this world,
I'm living in my own,
Living on my own.
I see a lifelless body
Covered with blood
As I run to hold it tight
I see myself
As tears run over my cheeks
And while the whole body is trembling
My mind is looking for a justification
In loathing and despite:
Oh, what did I achieve,
What have I become?
Living sejak the someone elses rules
Deprived of my one desires,
Just a shadow in this world
Where its beauty has never been shown
To my sad eyes.
But, is this the only exit of my pahit existence,
Is this the way to end this resident pain?
And in the darkness of my mind
Tears run over my cheeks
Asking why,
Why rain never stops,
Why sun never shines
In my eyes,
Deadness is sleeping in its depravity
And I know that I don't belong
To this world,
I'm living in my own,
Living on my own.
if the Cinta of your life died,
what would anda do if they died a terrible death,
would anda get revenge,
would anda hate everyone,
would anda become a murderer in return,
would anda cry your life away,
atau would anda take your life away?
What would anda do,
if your best friend committed suicide,
what would anda do if they died terribly,
would anda laugh because no tears will come,
would anda cry until it is all over,
would anda do the same,
would anda run away,
atau would anda just throw it all away?
What would anda do,
if anda were hit sejak a car,
what would anda do if anda were dying,
would anda feel sorry for yourself,
would anda cry until the end,
would anda remember everything anda have ever done,
would anda call your mom,
atau would anda hate the person until your life has gone away?
What would anda do,
when everything ends for anda atau a friend?
What would anda do?
Here is another poem. It is a bit dark but the truth is always darker than it seems.
Isolated,
I am isolated,
I isolate myself from the people who might care about me...
Watching,
They watch me but are blind,
Blind to the emotions that are always rinning through my mind while they just stare...
Broken,
My hati, tengah-tengah is broken,
The cracks run deep and I know will never be filled...
Unseen,
I feel unseen,
Unseen sejak the ones who walk the halls and just look right through me...
Tears,
They never want to stop,
The tears stream down my face until the burn my cheeks...
Darkness,
I am Lost in a sea of black,
The waves crash around me and threaten to menelan me forever
Isolated,
I am isolated,
I isolate myself from the people who might care about me...
Watching,
They watch me but are blind,
Blind to the emotions that are always rinning through my mind while they just stare...
Broken,
My hati, tengah-tengah is broken,
The cracks run deep and I know will never be filled...
Unseen,
I feel unseen,
Unseen sejak the ones who walk the halls and just look right through me...
Tears,
They never want to stop,
The tears stream down my face until the burn my cheeks...
Darkness,
I am Lost in a sea of black,
The waves crash around me and threaten to menelan me forever
There are times when our loss makes us to feel happy
When in a problem one small support makes us to feel lucky
Times when we are crying one word makes us to laugh
Even if hati, tengah-tengah is all ours they live in half
Making fun even if we don’t like is their habit
On our single smile in sadness they jump and run like rabbit
Don’t recall the past, don’t worry about future
They teach us like experienced tutor
They are my dearest friends
Who live with me with Cinta that never ends
No end, everyday is a new start
There is no way we can be apart
When in a problem one small support makes us to feel lucky
Times when we are crying one word makes us to laugh
Even if hati, tengah-tengah is all ours they live in half
Making fun even if we don’t like is their habit
On our single smile in sadness they jump and run like rabbit
Don’t recall the past, don’t worry about future
They teach us like experienced tutor
They are my dearest friends
Who live with me with Cinta that never ends
No end, everyday is a new start
There is no way we can be apart
Dedicated to a friend of mine, may he and his family and everyone who knew him know that he now is with God
____________________________________________________
Only knew anda for a few years
Cause of Dad's new job
anda always were my favorite
One of them to talk to
anda always smiled
And never thought a bad thing
Even when your son was messing up
anda just laughed and helped him
And always forgave
No one knew anda would leave us
On that cold winter day
Now i cant rember your name without crying
We never were close
Yet we had so much in common
No one needed to know us
anda and I were fine
I knew it wasnt a cold
It was always something more
anda ignored it all
And went on with your life
I wanted to say something
And i never berkata goodbye
I wish i could of berkata goodbye
For anda are here
No more
__________________________________________________
In memory of a friend who didnt deserve to die, we all miss anda and anda will never be forgotten
____________________________________________________
Only knew anda for a few years
Cause of Dad's new job
anda always were my favorite
One of them to talk to
anda always smiled
And never thought a bad thing
Even when your son was messing up
anda just laughed and helped him
And always forgave
No one knew anda would leave us
On that cold winter day
Now i cant rember your name without crying
We never were close
Yet we had so much in common
No one needed to know us
anda and I were fine
I knew it wasnt a cold
It was always something more
anda ignored it all
And went on with your life
I wanted to say something
And i never berkata goodbye
I wish i could of berkata goodbye
For anda are here
No more
__________________________________________________
In memory of a friend who didnt deserve to die, we all miss anda and anda will never be forgotten