ME

1. When anda get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"

2. When he asks why anda were speeding, tell him anda wanted to race.

3. When he talks to you, pretend anda are deaf.

4. If he asks if anda knew how fast anda were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......

5. Ask if anda can see his gun.

6. When he says anda aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.

7. Touch him.

8. When he asks why anda were speeding, tell him anda had to buy a hat.

9. Ask him where he bought his cool hat.

10. Refer to him sejak his first name.

11. Pretend anda are gay and ask...

THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done sejak a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the hari of the...

65 above zero:
Floridians turn on the heat.
People in Wisconsin plant gardens.

60 above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Wisconsin sunbathe.

50 above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Wisconsin drive with the windows down.

40 above zero:
Georgians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, wool hats.
People in Wisconsin throw on a flannel shirt.

35 above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Wisconsin have the last cookout before it gets cold.

20 above Zero
People in Miami all die.
Wisconsinites close the windows.

Zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico...

I found this link. This will last anda days. XD


Between 1942 and 1944, Academy Awards were made of plaster.

John Madden is an accomplished ballroom dancer.


One out of three employees who received a promotion use a coffee mug with the company logo on it.


About a third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still sitting on it.

According to Genesis 1:20-22 the chicken came before the egg.

Soldiers from every country salute with their right hand.

The microwave ketuhar was invented sejak mistake when an engineer testing a magnetron tube noticed that the radiation from it melted the Chocolate bar he...

found this on the net:

13 Fun Things To Do To Get Salespeople on the Phone to Hang Up

1. If they want to loan anda money, tell them anda just filed for bankruptcy and anda could sure use some money. Ask, "How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, atau is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?"

2. If anda get one of those pushy people who won't shut up, just listen to their sales pitch. When they try to close the sale, tell them that you'll need to go get your credit card. Then, just set the phone down and go do laundry, shopping atau whatever. See how long that commission...