Therion wipes his eyes as the images, thoughts and feelings flow to him. He's never experienced Legilimency in such a deep, profound way, and he doesn't know how to repay Snape for the kindness and trust he's menunjukkan him sejak sharing this.
'Dey mind anda of love...' Loki looks back down at the pretty objects, then gently nips Snape's chin. 'Love is good,' he thinks, and Snape enfolds the little raven in his embrace, his body trembling. "Yes," he whispers, "love is good."
Once he has calmed himself, which takes some time, he places Loki back on his katil and then places the beads and the ring back into the pouch. He stows the pouch in a selamat, peti deposit keselamatan place, then thinks about going to bed. He works on a couple of new concoctions for an jam atau two, then finally goes to bed. He lays there thinking about the day, and about days spent in the sun long ago.
The seterusnya hari he wants to go back to the shop, but he can't; there's just too much to do, despite him feeling a need to go. So he goes the following day, he leaves first thing in the morning, straight to the avenue of shops. He has so much to ask her, clearly she has some other form of Sight...perhaps there are things she can help him see? As he comes up to the shop, he's struck dumb. There are Muggle men carrying things out of the huge doors, and memuatkan them onto a moving truck. Sitting on the step of the kedai seterusnya door is a distraught Muggle man, weeping profusely while a wizard Snape recognises as Layne Merrick, tries to console him.
He has a terrible feeling...
"What has happened?" The wizard sighs deeply and leaves the weeping man to speak to Snape privately. "If you're here to see Odona, she died last night." The man sobs hard and groans, and Snape feels suddenly as though he were two people. One of him wants nothing lebih that to retreat, to fly back to Hogwarts and back to his own hole of misery; the other wants only to help the suffering man somehow. He doesn't understand this sudden inner conflict. "My friend," Layne says, "he was her apprentice." Snape blinks. "Her apprentice? But," Snape tries to say it quietly, "he's a--" the man looks up at the wizards, his eyes red and face contorted with grief, "Aye," he says, "I'm a Muggle, bu' she din' care, di' she? She swore I cou' learn sumfin, she bin teachin' me since I were twelve tahun old..." he sobs, "an' I canna' do a bloody thin'! Bu' I luv'd 'er, she were like me Gran!"
Whatever strength the man had left leaves him, and Layne goes to his side. He looks back at Snape and tells him, "I'll be right back. Please, stay." He takes hold of the man's arm and steadies him, saying gently, "C'mon Sam, let's have a walk down the way." He helps the stricken man up from the step and walks him down to a group of people gathered outside a little coffee shop. He leaves his friend with them then comes back to Snape. "Twenty years he was with her, Severus. Twenty years. His parents were killed when he was thirteen and she took him in. She was always doing that with Lost kids." He looks around, his eyes beginning to redden. "She raised a lot of us around here."
Barely holding himself together, Layne tells Snape, "I know anda were here Monday, she told me anda finally came. She told me she gave anda a message. She didn't tell me what it was and I don't want to know, it's not my business. But I will tell anda that anda need to pay attention to whatever that message was, because anda were her last cast. It's a maternal tradition in her family, the last visions a witch has, the last fortune she casts, the last spells, the last whatever, is the most potent and powerful in her life. So anda take care of what she gave you, because if anda don't, it would be..." Layne takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, "a dishonor to her memory."
Layne takes Snape's hand and quickly places a few items in it, then lets go of him. "She berkata you'll need these." He turns to go then, gets just passed the doors moving men are still carrying things out of, then turns back to him again. "The very last thing she berkata to me about anda was that she wished anda had found her before you'd gone to Hogwarts." He drops his gaze, then nods, then looks up again. "Take care of yourself, Severus." Layne leaves him finally, joining the other mourners at the coffee shop. Snape stands there for a moment longer, then hurries away from the avenue. Thrusting what Layne gave him into his pocket without looking at it, he thinks he's going to go straight back to Hogwarts. But he doesn't.
Therion realizes where Snape is standing and can not help but smile...the Old Quarter of the Muggle village right outside the White City. They were so near each other that day...Therion wonders how they didn't sense each other.
Snape looks around at the buildings, the shops and homes, and is amazed. How did he not know this was here? He moves through the avenue and does not know what to think of it. Muggles and Magicals mixing, mingling, doing business together, laughing together...and even loving. He sees two youths, they look scarcely older than Sixth Years, sitting outside a cafe, giving each other little kisses. The boy is a Muggle, the girl, a witch...he wonders if her parents know where she is, what she's doing, and who with. He has an answer in a snap: her parents step out of a clothier and call to her. She kisses the boy and, giggling, runs to her parents. They wave to the boy and he waves back, then watches them depart. He sighs, smiling wistfully, and Snape remembers when he felt that way...
Snape turns away from the cafe and is seen sejak a dealer in fine herbs who motions him into his shop. "You must be from the school," the man says, and Snape nods. "Yes. I seek--" the man pulls out three vials of exactly what he's looking for from an old chest of drawers. "How did anda know what I needed?" Snape can not help but be suspicious, and the man's demeanor doesn't help. "It's my business to know. If I didn't know, I wouldn't have any business, now would I?" His smile is earnest, and Snape feels nothing unusual, and chocks his suspiciousness up to his nature. And to his surprise at finding this place. "Wizards of high calibre, such as yourself, desire only the best, and that's all I carry. Please, feel free to look around my shop. Everything here's available, for a price, should anda want it."
Snape does have a look around, and he's genuinely interested in some of the things he finds. He gets quite Lost in all the buku the dealer has, and would take several with him, but he would have to stash them at Spinner's End rather than take them back to Hogwarts. And what would be the point of that? As he leaves the buku behind he passes sejak a roomfull of old furnature, and something catches his eye. A mirror. It's huge, and strikingly handsome, with a boldly ornate frame and a stand that seems to dominate the corner of the room it's in. The first thing he thinks of is the Mirror of Erised, which it clearly isn't, but the thought prevents him from stepping in front of it. The dealer looks in on him and smiles knowingly.
"It's a Paradox," he says, and Snape seems to not hear him. "The Mirror of Paroxium. A Muggle scientist friend of mine calls it a 'Quantum Window'." Now Snape looks back. "What does it do?" The dealer gestures to it and tells Snape to step up to it. "Touch the glass, then stand back and watch." Snape looks at the man like he's daft, and the dealer laughs. "It shows anda yourself and the multitudes of possibilities attached to you." The dealer sighs. "Professor, there are an uncounted number of alternate realities, and this mirror is like a window into some of them. Through it, anda can see yourself living a variety of different lives."
Snape takes a step ke hadapan and looks at himself. Does he really want to know how his other selves are living? He takes a deep breath and touches the glass, then steps back. The glass itself seems to fill with smoke, then the smoke begins to swirl. Visions flicker, then dance with vivid clarity before him. The first he sees of himself, he is very old and gray, and very alone. pahit and alone. It sets the theme, to his dismay; one after another, regardless of the conditions of the life, he is unhappy and alone. He sees himself doing terrible things in lebih than one life, things he himself would never want to do. The longer he watches, the lebih dispondant he becomes, until he can menanggung, bear no more. He believes he is doomed to isolation and emptiness.
But then...
He catches a glimpse of something...extraordinary. He turns back to the mirror and gazes intently into it. He sees himself happy, happy and not alone. He is sitting in a park, wearing a dark grey cardigan, his long hair pulled back in a tail. His eyes are bright and smile radiant, his arm around a chestnut-haired woman seated beside him. They're laughing at something...the antics of a child. Their child. He can not tell the gender of the child, but as the child runs to them, also laughing, he sees his own features in the face, made innocent and new. He lifts the child and he and the woman Ciuman the child's cheeks, then then release it to play with its friend. Standing beside them, beaming with undisguised joy, is another man, his golden blond hair in a single braid that falls to his waist. This man turns to them and Snape sees, with a shock, that it is none other than Lucius Malfoy. There is no doubt of it.
But there's no trace of Darkness in him, only joy. The man who looks like Malfoy sits beside the woman and kisses her cheek, strokes her hair, then places his arm on the other Snape's. The lady touches both of them lovingly, and Snape sees they are wearing matching rings. They're together, the three of them...and they're happy, and there's a child.
His child.
"I want this life," Snape mumbles, and the dealer chuckles. Snape looks back at him. "How do I make this real? I mean, real for me?" The dealer straightens and tells him, "you have to truly want it, Professor. There are things in your life that are holding anda back, dragging anda down. Part of that is duty, if I'm sensing anda correctly, and we both know duty must be served. But the rest of it has to go." He shrugs, and Snape glances back at the mirror. The visions and smoke are gone and it's just a mirror again. Snape looks back to the dealer, but the dealer has gone back up front. Snape follows him and the dealer asks him if he still wants the vials. Snape tells him yes, and as he pays for his purchase, their hands meet.
The dealer looks up at him and says quietly, "hold to anda only what is the most priceless, Professor, cast away what does anda no good." As Snape departs he stops at the door and gives the man his thanks. The dealer half-grins and says, "thank me Professor sejak not telling anyone we're here." Snape nods and leaves then, and goes directly back to Hogwarts. The seterusnya hari there is work to be done, but he finds a reason to go out, and he goes back to the village. The dealer with the mirror is closed for the day, but he finds a little apothecary tucked out of the way. It's a gloomy day, the sky threatens rain, but he feels compelled to be here. He goes in and finds the kedai is warm and well-lit, and busy.
And while there's a great deal of product on the shelves, some of it quite rare and desirable to him, it's not what draws his eye. On a side meja, jadual out of the way are some odds and ends. They are lovely and handcrafted little things, made sejak a tender and compassionate heart. He reaches for the daffodil blossom with a tiny hummingbird drinking from it, made perfectly in clay, but his eyes fall on the painting. His hati, tengah-tengah trembles as he gingerly picks it up, and he feels his eyes sting. He's grateful there's no one here that he knows, he'd just die of embarrassment, but he can't help himself somehow.
Lilies, painfully white lilies on a pond, painted perfectly on a little canvas card, affixed to what appears to be scrapbook paper which is actaully a painting on canvas as well. There are so many elements to the artwork he can't take it all in at the moment, but he notices the initials in the corner. ES. He thinks he'd like to meet this "ES", just out of curiousity. He takes the painting with him and waits until the line has gone down and there's only two patrons left in the shop. The keeper behind the counter is a girl, a happy, shining girl, and he almost can't make himself move. He finally steps up to the counter and places the tins on the blotter, and she looks up at him.
Their eyes meet, and she smiles sweetly at him. He feels an odd sense of calm wash over him, yet he still fights to remain in control of himself. "She's just a Muggle," an old, dark voice says deep inside of him, but he ignores it. He places the painting on the blotter as well, and she says, "oh, I'm glad anda like that!" Her voice is as sweet as her smile, and she tells him his total. "But," he says softly, "you didn't charge me for the art." She pushes it gently toward him. "It's already yours," she says, "I made it. It's mine to give." Their eyes meet again, and he swallows hard. "You're ES?" She giggles. "Yes. Elsbet Stryker." His gaze drops. "Severus Snape," he says quietly, and she touches his hand. "Severus," she says, and his hati, tengah-tengah flutters. "I like that name...good, strong name." Their eyes meet once more, and his throat tightens.
The loceng rings and another patron enters. "Hello, Ellie! Will we be seeing anda tonight?" She smiles widely at the elderly wizard and nods. "Yes, Hamma, I'll be there." He tells her he will see her later, and she turns her attention back to Snape. "You're not from the village," she says softly as she wraps the painting and bags the tins. "No, I...teach at the school," he says just as quietly, and he can feel a wave of excitement from her. "Hogwarts, you're a Professor? Do anda teach Potions?" Oh, she's interested in potions, is she? He nods, fighting the strangest urge to...he doesn't know what this feeling is, but he has to fight it. He thanks her politely for everything and leaves quickly, before any of the other patrons can notice him.
He speeds back to Hogwarts, cursing himself for returning to the village, and vowing to himself not to go back again. He goes to his quarters and leaves the painting on his desk, takes the bag of tins and goes to his lab. He's so upset at himself he doesn't eat lunch atau dinner, keeping himself busy with the new potion ingredients. He leaves his lab only to collect Loki from the owlery, and on his way back to his quarters to put him up for the night, he hears Filch shouting at Peeves for shattering a mirror in one of the bathrooms.
Mirror...
Snape's mask of cold detachment falls to bits, and once in his quarters, he doesn't leave for the rest of the night. He sits at his desk, carefully unwraps the painting, and pulls out the moleskin pouch Odona gave him. He takes out the beads and Gryffindor ring and places them with the painting, then spreads out the items Layne gave him, the things Odona berkata he'd need. Loki looks at everything with him as if the little raven sees something in the assortment. A green button, a silver coin. A small vial of dried flowers, a horse figurine carved from onyx. A black gitar pick with "ZoSo" inscribed in gold. He can't think of what these things could mean, but he looks to his little one as the raven begins reordering them. Loki makes odd little sounds, as though talking to himself, then stops suddenly and looks at what he's made. He reaches back and extracts a loose feather, then places it in the center of the assortment, then settles down, satisfied.
There is a part of Snape that understands the message. The part that asked Odona if he could come back. The part that wanted to help Layne's heartbroken friend. The part that had to look in the mirror. The part that wanted to lean across that counter and steal a Ciuman from that girl. It's the same part that made him impulsively leap out at Lily Evans that hari so very long ago, and tell her she was a witch. The same part that couldn't menanggung, bear to snuff out a tiny chick's life...Oh yes, he understands the message, and that message is one of love. Cinta never dies. What he doesn't understand is how he's going to continue to serve his duty, yet hold on to this feeling he has, this hope, and make real the life he saw in the mirror.
The seterusnya two days don't help; Friday he must complete a task for the Dark Lord, one that leaves him in a foul mood and feeling like filth, as serving the Dark Lord always does, and Saturday he must complete a task for Dumbledore, which also leaves him in a foul mood, but at least doesn't make him feel like filth. He spends both nights in his lab, forcing himself to not think about a possibly bright future, because he is certain he will die in the service of his Masters, and it does no good to hope for something anda can never have. He tells himself that the beautiful, wonderful Muggle girl in that village is better off without him. He makes himself a promise that he won't go back, and when he returns to his quarters, he silently places the beads and ring back into the pouch, the other items into another pouch, then the pouches, the painting and Loki's feather into a box, which he then stows safely away.
Out of sight, out of mind Muggles say, but he knows it doesn't work that way.
Come Sunday morning, he's back in the village. His hati, tengah-tengah won't let him give up. He goes to the apothecary, but it's closed. He sees people sitting outside a restaurant and thinks about having breakfast there, then thinks about just wandering around. He could go back to Hogwarts, but damnit, he wants this hari for himself. So he wanders. The village is lovely, and he finds he feels relaxed there, though he doesn't know why. He finds a park, with a pond and ducks, and several people enjoying themselves. Children flying a kite, their parents looking on; people playing with a large white dog, and a wizard sitting sejak himself, feeding the ducks.
It's Layne.
He notices Snape and gives a nod, then tosses the rest of the cereal to them as he rises. He walks to where Snape waits, grinning slightly. "I'm surprised to see anda here, Severus. But I'm glad." Together they walk through the park, speaking very little. Finally, when they reach the other side of the park, Snape asks the other wizard why he's even speaking to him. "How can anda trust me?" Layne laughs softly and brushes his frizy blond hair out of his face. "Because if anda were truly telah diberi to Darkness, anda would never have found Odona. Her door would not have opened for anda that day." Snape feels as if he is teetering on the edge of a very thin knife. He has two choices, and he knows, at this moment in time, that whatever his choice, his life will never be the same.
"Tell me something, Severus, why are anda here today? Please, the truth, because there's something I think anda need to see, but I can't tunjuk anda unless you're honest." Snape takes a deep breath, looks Layne Merrick in the face and says, "I met a girl on Thursday, and I came back today to see her again. But..." he looks away for a moment, "the apothecary is closed." A light goes on in Layne's yellow eyes. "The girl in the apothecary shop. What if I could take anda to her?" Their eyes lock and Snape hopes Layne isn't being cruel. "You can?" His voice is measured, firm. "You know her?" Layne nods, smiling. "I do. Ellie Stryker." He leads Snape to a sealed archway, and Snape has a feeling that this is the point that will make atau break the chance for the bright future he hopes for.
"Mellon," Layne says, and Snape knows there is only one thing he can do. The archway opens and he follows Layne through, and doesn't look back. He feels a change in temperature, but that's not the only change he feels. He is surrounded sejak warmth and light, sejak peace and joy. "Welcome to the White City, Severus Snape," Layne says, clearly pleased. "Come," he checks his watch, "I think we should be able to find her easily." They walk down a shrub-lined pathway and out into Graham Court, in one of the Muggle districts where the theatres and playhouses are. "And there she is."
Snape's hati, tengah-tengah nearly leaps out of his chest; she's even lebih lovely now. Her shining hair is down, and she's wearing a powder blue blouse, tan pants and brown suede boots. She's standing outside a playhouse, laughing with a group of people when she sees Layne. She gives an excited squeal and bounds away from the group, and he walks out to meet her. He catches her as she seems to jump into his arms, and hugs her tight. "I've missed you!" She's radiant with joy and he hugs her again, then turns her to face Snape. When she sees him, she blushes deeply and covers her face, giggling. He takes a step forward, and she takes three toward him. "Hello, Severus," she says softly, smiling sweetly up at him, then offers him her hand.
He takes her hand, then takes the first steps toward his better life.
Snape shows Therion bits of other memories, memories of some of the people he's met because of her, and the memory of Elsbet and Malfoy meeting, and how ready she was to accept him because he is his friend. "There were times I was a little jealous, but it didn't last, because I knew...I know that it is her nature to reach out to people. Regardless of how bad she has felt about herself, it is her nature to be kind to others," Snape says quietly, and Therion wipes his eyes, then gently wipes away the lone tear on Snape's face. He nods and tells Snape he has experienced it himself, then says, "Lucius...didn't seem to know what to do with himself," and Snape chuckles. "He didn't then, no." He sighs. "That was the night he told me he loves me."
Therion smiles and stretches, saying, "and anda weren't about to shoot him down." Snape rises up on his elbow. "Of course not. Would anda have?" Therion laughs and sits up. "Not a chance." He looks back at the sleeping wizard, arms still wrapped around Elsbet. Snape reaches up and gently touches a scar on Therion's back. "I could be selfish with her, and demand that she Cinta only me, but if I did, that wouldn't be very fair." He shrugs. "When Cinta comes to you, you're lebih fortunate than anda realize," he says, then sits up beside Therion. "It's not up to me to decide where her hati, tengah-tengah goes. She loves me, and that's priceless, I treasure it almost lebih than anything else. She loves Lucius, and I count myself very lucky. And she loves you," he says and Therion shakes his head a little. "I don't deserve it..."
Snape runs his fingers through the wizard's soft mane. "Yes anda do. She thinks anda do, and so do I." They look at each other for a while, then Snape says quietly, "if I didn't, anda wouldn't be here right now." He kisses Therion's shoulder and tells him, "let's catch a couple hours of sleep while we can." Snape moves to the far side of the katil and settles himself beside Elsbet, and Therion settles down beside Malfoy. "Severus, thank you...thank anda for sharing with me," he says and Malfoy stirs. You're welcome, Snape thinks to him as Malfoy's head lifts up from the pillow. "Oh," he says sleepily, "are we going again?" Therion tries not to laugh as he strokes Malfoy's hair. "Yes," Snape tells him, "we're going back to sleep." He hides his impish chuckle behind Elsbet's head and Malfoy yawns, then lays his head back onto his pillow.
'Dey mind anda of love...' Loki looks back down at the pretty objects, then gently nips Snape's chin. 'Love is good,' he thinks, and Snape enfolds the little raven in his embrace, his body trembling. "Yes," he whispers, "love is good."
Once he has calmed himself, which takes some time, he places Loki back on his katil and then places the beads and the ring back into the pouch. He stows the pouch in a selamat, peti deposit keselamatan place, then thinks about going to bed. He works on a couple of new concoctions for an jam atau two, then finally goes to bed. He lays there thinking about the day, and about days spent in the sun long ago.
The seterusnya hari he wants to go back to the shop, but he can't; there's just too much to do, despite him feeling a need to go. So he goes the following day, he leaves first thing in the morning, straight to the avenue of shops. He has so much to ask her, clearly she has some other form of Sight...perhaps there are things she can help him see? As he comes up to the shop, he's struck dumb. There are Muggle men carrying things out of the huge doors, and memuatkan them onto a moving truck. Sitting on the step of the kedai seterusnya door is a distraught Muggle man, weeping profusely while a wizard Snape recognises as Layne Merrick, tries to console him.
He has a terrible feeling...
"What has happened?" The wizard sighs deeply and leaves the weeping man to speak to Snape privately. "If you're here to see Odona, she died last night." The man sobs hard and groans, and Snape feels suddenly as though he were two people. One of him wants nothing lebih that to retreat, to fly back to Hogwarts and back to his own hole of misery; the other wants only to help the suffering man somehow. He doesn't understand this sudden inner conflict. "My friend," Layne says, "he was her apprentice." Snape blinks. "Her apprentice? But," Snape tries to say it quietly, "he's a--" the man looks up at the wizards, his eyes red and face contorted with grief, "Aye," he says, "I'm a Muggle, bu' she din' care, di' she? She swore I cou' learn sumfin, she bin teachin' me since I were twelve tahun old..." he sobs, "an' I canna' do a bloody thin'! Bu' I luv'd 'er, she were like me Gran!"
Whatever strength the man had left leaves him, and Layne goes to his side. He looks back at Snape and tells him, "I'll be right back. Please, stay." He takes hold of the man's arm and steadies him, saying gently, "C'mon Sam, let's have a walk down the way." He helps the stricken man up from the step and walks him down to a group of people gathered outside a little coffee shop. He leaves his friend with them then comes back to Snape. "Twenty years he was with her, Severus. Twenty years. His parents were killed when he was thirteen and she took him in. She was always doing that with Lost kids." He looks around, his eyes beginning to redden. "She raised a lot of us around here."
Barely holding himself together, Layne tells Snape, "I know anda were here Monday, she told me anda finally came. She told me she gave anda a message. She didn't tell me what it was and I don't want to know, it's not my business. But I will tell anda that anda need to pay attention to whatever that message was, because anda were her last cast. It's a maternal tradition in her family, the last visions a witch has, the last fortune she casts, the last spells, the last whatever, is the most potent and powerful in her life. So anda take care of what she gave you, because if anda don't, it would be..." Layne takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly, "a dishonor to her memory."
Layne takes Snape's hand and quickly places a few items in it, then lets go of him. "She berkata you'll need these." He turns to go then, gets just passed the doors moving men are still carrying things out of, then turns back to him again. "The very last thing she berkata to me about anda was that she wished anda had found her before you'd gone to Hogwarts." He drops his gaze, then nods, then looks up again. "Take care of yourself, Severus." Layne leaves him finally, joining the other mourners at the coffee shop. Snape stands there for a moment longer, then hurries away from the avenue. Thrusting what Layne gave him into his pocket without looking at it, he thinks he's going to go straight back to Hogwarts. But he doesn't.
Therion realizes where Snape is standing and can not help but smile...the Old Quarter of the Muggle village right outside the White City. They were so near each other that day...Therion wonders how they didn't sense each other.
Snape looks around at the buildings, the shops and homes, and is amazed. How did he not know this was here? He moves through the avenue and does not know what to think of it. Muggles and Magicals mixing, mingling, doing business together, laughing together...and even loving. He sees two youths, they look scarcely older than Sixth Years, sitting outside a cafe, giving each other little kisses. The boy is a Muggle, the girl, a witch...he wonders if her parents know where she is, what she's doing, and who with. He has an answer in a snap: her parents step out of a clothier and call to her. She kisses the boy and, giggling, runs to her parents. They wave to the boy and he waves back, then watches them depart. He sighs, smiling wistfully, and Snape remembers when he felt that way...
Snape turns away from the cafe and is seen sejak a dealer in fine herbs who motions him into his shop. "You must be from the school," the man says, and Snape nods. "Yes. I seek--" the man pulls out three vials of exactly what he's looking for from an old chest of drawers. "How did anda know what I needed?" Snape can not help but be suspicious, and the man's demeanor doesn't help. "It's my business to know. If I didn't know, I wouldn't have any business, now would I?" His smile is earnest, and Snape feels nothing unusual, and chocks his suspiciousness up to his nature. And to his surprise at finding this place. "Wizards of high calibre, such as yourself, desire only the best, and that's all I carry. Please, feel free to look around my shop. Everything here's available, for a price, should anda want it."
Snape does have a look around, and he's genuinely interested in some of the things he finds. He gets quite Lost in all the buku the dealer has, and would take several with him, but he would have to stash them at Spinner's End rather than take them back to Hogwarts. And what would be the point of that? As he leaves the buku behind he passes sejak a roomfull of old furnature, and something catches his eye. A mirror. It's huge, and strikingly handsome, with a boldly ornate frame and a stand that seems to dominate the corner of the room it's in. The first thing he thinks of is the Mirror of Erised, which it clearly isn't, but the thought prevents him from stepping in front of it. The dealer looks in on him and smiles knowingly.
"It's a Paradox," he says, and Snape seems to not hear him. "The Mirror of Paroxium. A Muggle scientist friend of mine calls it a 'Quantum Window'." Now Snape looks back. "What does it do?" The dealer gestures to it and tells Snape to step up to it. "Touch the glass, then stand back and watch." Snape looks at the man like he's daft, and the dealer laughs. "It shows anda yourself and the multitudes of possibilities attached to you." The dealer sighs. "Professor, there are an uncounted number of alternate realities, and this mirror is like a window into some of them. Through it, anda can see yourself living a variety of different lives."
Snape takes a step ke hadapan and looks at himself. Does he really want to know how his other selves are living? He takes a deep breath and touches the glass, then steps back. The glass itself seems to fill with smoke, then the smoke begins to swirl. Visions flicker, then dance with vivid clarity before him. The first he sees of himself, he is very old and gray, and very alone. pahit and alone. It sets the theme, to his dismay; one after another, regardless of the conditions of the life, he is unhappy and alone. He sees himself doing terrible things in lebih than one life, things he himself would never want to do. The longer he watches, the lebih dispondant he becomes, until he can menanggung, bear no more. He believes he is doomed to isolation and emptiness.
But then...
He catches a glimpse of something...extraordinary. He turns back to the mirror and gazes intently into it. He sees himself happy, happy and not alone. He is sitting in a park, wearing a dark grey cardigan, his long hair pulled back in a tail. His eyes are bright and smile radiant, his arm around a chestnut-haired woman seated beside him. They're laughing at something...the antics of a child. Their child. He can not tell the gender of the child, but as the child runs to them, also laughing, he sees his own features in the face, made innocent and new. He lifts the child and he and the woman Ciuman the child's cheeks, then then release it to play with its friend. Standing beside them, beaming with undisguised joy, is another man, his golden blond hair in a single braid that falls to his waist. This man turns to them and Snape sees, with a shock, that it is none other than Lucius Malfoy. There is no doubt of it.
But there's no trace of Darkness in him, only joy. The man who looks like Malfoy sits beside the woman and kisses her cheek, strokes her hair, then places his arm on the other Snape's. The lady touches both of them lovingly, and Snape sees they are wearing matching rings. They're together, the three of them...and they're happy, and there's a child.
His child.
"I want this life," Snape mumbles, and the dealer chuckles. Snape looks back at him. "How do I make this real? I mean, real for me?" The dealer straightens and tells him, "you have to truly want it, Professor. There are things in your life that are holding anda back, dragging anda down. Part of that is duty, if I'm sensing anda correctly, and we both know duty must be served. But the rest of it has to go." He shrugs, and Snape glances back at the mirror. The visions and smoke are gone and it's just a mirror again. Snape looks back to the dealer, but the dealer has gone back up front. Snape follows him and the dealer asks him if he still wants the vials. Snape tells him yes, and as he pays for his purchase, their hands meet.
The dealer looks up at him and says quietly, "hold to anda only what is the most priceless, Professor, cast away what does anda no good." As Snape departs he stops at the door and gives the man his thanks. The dealer half-grins and says, "thank me Professor sejak not telling anyone we're here." Snape nods and leaves then, and goes directly back to Hogwarts. The seterusnya hari there is work to be done, but he finds a reason to go out, and he goes back to the village. The dealer with the mirror is closed for the day, but he finds a little apothecary tucked out of the way. It's a gloomy day, the sky threatens rain, but he feels compelled to be here. He goes in and finds the kedai is warm and well-lit, and busy.
And while there's a great deal of product on the shelves, some of it quite rare and desirable to him, it's not what draws his eye. On a side meja, jadual out of the way are some odds and ends. They are lovely and handcrafted little things, made sejak a tender and compassionate heart. He reaches for the daffodil blossom with a tiny hummingbird drinking from it, made perfectly in clay, but his eyes fall on the painting. His hati, tengah-tengah trembles as he gingerly picks it up, and he feels his eyes sting. He's grateful there's no one here that he knows, he'd just die of embarrassment, but he can't help himself somehow.
Lilies, painfully white lilies on a pond, painted perfectly on a little canvas card, affixed to what appears to be scrapbook paper which is actaully a painting on canvas as well. There are so many elements to the artwork he can't take it all in at the moment, but he notices the initials in the corner. ES. He thinks he'd like to meet this "ES", just out of curiousity. He takes the painting with him and waits until the line has gone down and there's only two patrons left in the shop. The keeper behind the counter is a girl, a happy, shining girl, and he almost can't make himself move. He finally steps up to the counter and places the tins on the blotter, and she looks up at him.
Their eyes meet, and she smiles sweetly at him. He feels an odd sense of calm wash over him, yet he still fights to remain in control of himself. "She's just a Muggle," an old, dark voice says deep inside of him, but he ignores it. He places the painting on the blotter as well, and she says, "oh, I'm glad anda like that!" Her voice is as sweet as her smile, and she tells him his total. "But," he says softly, "you didn't charge me for the art." She pushes it gently toward him. "It's already yours," she says, "I made it. It's mine to give." Their eyes meet again, and he swallows hard. "You're ES?" She giggles. "Yes. Elsbet Stryker." His gaze drops. "Severus Snape," he says quietly, and she touches his hand. "Severus," she says, and his hati, tengah-tengah flutters. "I like that name...good, strong name." Their eyes meet once more, and his throat tightens.
The loceng rings and another patron enters. "Hello, Ellie! Will we be seeing anda tonight?" She smiles widely at the elderly wizard and nods. "Yes, Hamma, I'll be there." He tells her he will see her later, and she turns her attention back to Snape. "You're not from the village," she says softly as she wraps the painting and bags the tins. "No, I...teach at the school," he says just as quietly, and he can feel a wave of excitement from her. "Hogwarts, you're a Professor? Do anda teach Potions?" Oh, she's interested in potions, is she? He nods, fighting the strangest urge to...he doesn't know what this feeling is, but he has to fight it. He thanks her politely for everything and leaves quickly, before any of the other patrons can notice him.
He speeds back to Hogwarts, cursing himself for returning to the village, and vowing to himself not to go back again. He goes to his quarters and leaves the painting on his desk, takes the bag of tins and goes to his lab. He's so upset at himself he doesn't eat lunch atau dinner, keeping himself busy with the new potion ingredients. He leaves his lab only to collect Loki from the owlery, and on his way back to his quarters to put him up for the night, he hears Filch shouting at Peeves for shattering a mirror in one of the bathrooms.
Mirror...
Snape's mask of cold detachment falls to bits, and once in his quarters, he doesn't leave for the rest of the night. He sits at his desk, carefully unwraps the painting, and pulls out the moleskin pouch Odona gave him. He takes out the beads and Gryffindor ring and places them with the painting, then spreads out the items Layne gave him, the things Odona berkata he'd need. Loki looks at everything with him as if the little raven sees something in the assortment. A green button, a silver coin. A small vial of dried flowers, a horse figurine carved from onyx. A black gitar pick with "ZoSo" inscribed in gold. He can't think of what these things could mean, but he looks to his little one as the raven begins reordering them. Loki makes odd little sounds, as though talking to himself, then stops suddenly and looks at what he's made. He reaches back and extracts a loose feather, then places it in the center of the assortment, then settles down, satisfied.
There is a part of Snape that understands the message. The part that asked Odona if he could come back. The part that wanted to help Layne's heartbroken friend. The part that had to look in the mirror. The part that wanted to lean across that counter and steal a Ciuman from that girl. It's the same part that made him impulsively leap out at Lily Evans that hari so very long ago, and tell her she was a witch. The same part that couldn't menanggung, bear to snuff out a tiny chick's life...Oh yes, he understands the message, and that message is one of love. Cinta never dies. What he doesn't understand is how he's going to continue to serve his duty, yet hold on to this feeling he has, this hope, and make real the life he saw in the mirror.
The seterusnya two days don't help; Friday he must complete a task for the Dark Lord, one that leaves him in a foul mood and feeling like filth, as serving the Dark Lord always does, and Saturday he must complete a task for Dumbledore, which also leaves him in a foul mood, but at least doesn't make him feel like filth. He spends both nights in his lab, forcing himself to not think about a possibly bright future, because he is certain he will die in the service of his Masters, and it does no good to hope for something anda can never have. He tells himself that the beautiful, wonderful Muggle girl in that village is better off without him. He makes himself a promise that he won't go back, and when he returns to his quarters, he silently places the beads and ring back into the pouch, the other items into another pouch, then the pouches, the painting and Loki's feather into a box, which he then stows safely away.
Out of sight, out of mind Muggles say, but he knows it doesn't work that way.
Come Sunday morning, he's back in the village. His hati, tengah-tengah won't let him give up. He goes to the apothecary, but it's closed. He sees people sitting outside a restaurant and thinks about having breakfast there, then thinks about just wandering around. He could go back to Hogwarts, but damnit, he wants this hari for himself. So he wanders. The village is lovely, and he finds he feels relaxed there, though he doesn't know why. He finds a park, with a pond and ducks, and several people enjoying themselves. Children flying a kite, their parents looking on; people playing with a large white dog, and a wizard sitting sejak himself, feeding the ducks.
It's Layne.
He notices Snape and gives a nod, then tosses the rest of the cereal to them as he rises. He walks to where Snape waits, grinning slightly. "I'm surprised to see anda here, Severus. But I'm glad." Together they walk through the park, speaking very little. Finally, when they reach the other side of the park, Snape asks the other wizard why he's even speaking to him. "How can anda trust me?" Layne laughs softly and brushes his frizy blond hair out of his face. "Because if anda were truly telah diberi to Darkness, anda would never have found Odona. Her door would not have opened for anda that day." Snape feels as if he is teetering on the edge of a very thin knife. He has two choices, and he knows, at this moment in time, that whatever his choice, his life will never be the same.
"Tell me something, Severus, why are anda here today? Please, the truth, because there's something I think anda need to see, but I can't tunjuk anda unless you're honest." Snape takes a deep breath, looks Layne Merrick in the face and says, "I met a girl on Thursday, and I came back today to see her again. But..." he looks away for a moment, "the apothecary is closed." A light goes on in Layne's yellow eyes. "The girl in the apothecary shop. What if I could take anda to her?" Their eyes lock and Snape hopes Layne isn't being cruel. "You can?" His voice is measured, firm. "You know her?" Layne nods, smiling. "I do. Ellie Stryker." He leads Snape to a sealed archway, and Snape has a feeling that this is the point that will make atau break the chance for the bright future he hopes for.
"Mellon," Layne says, and Snape knows there is only one thing he can do. The archway opens and he follows Layne through, and doesn't look back. He feels a change in temperature, but that's not the only change he feels. He is surrounded sejak warmth and light, sejak peace and joy. "Welcome to the White City, Severus Snape," Layne says, clearly pleased. "Come," he checks his watch, "I think we should be able to find her easily." They walk down a shrub-lined pathway and out into Graham Court, in one of the Muggle districts where the theatres and playhouses are. "And there she is."
Snape's hati, tengah-tengah nearly leaps out of his chest; she's even lebih lovely now. Her shining hair is down, and she's wearing a powder blue blouse, tan pants and brown suede boots. She's standing outside a playhouse, laughing with a group of people when she sees Layne. She gives an excited squeal and bounds away from the group, and he walks out to meet her. He catches her as she seems to jump into his arms, and hugs her tight. "I've missed you!" She's radiant with joy and he hugs her again, then turns her to face Snape. When she sees him, she blushes deeply and covers her face, giggling. He takes a step forward, and she takes three toward him. "Hello, Severus," she says softly, smiling sweetly up at him, then offers him her hand.
He takes her hand, then takes the first steps toward his better life.
Snape shows Therion bits of other memories, memories of some of the people he's met because of her, and the memory of Elsbet and Malfoy meeting, and how ready she was to accept him because he is his friend. "There were times I was a little jealous, but it didn't last, because I knew...I know that it is her nature to reach out to people. Regardless of how bad she has felt about herself, it is her nature to be kind to others," Snape says quietly, and Therion wipes his eyes, then gently wipes away the lone tear on Snape's face. He nods and tells Snape he has experienced it himself, then says, "Lucius...didn't seem to know what to do with himself," and Snape chuckles. "He didn't then, no." He sighs. "That was the night he told me he loves me."
Therion smiles and stretches, saying, "and anda weren't about to shoot him down." Snape rises up on his elbow. "Of course not. Would anda have?" Therion laughs and sits up. "Not a chance." He looks back at the sleeping wizard, arms still wrapped around Elsbet. Snape reaches up and gently touches a scar on Therion's back. "I could be selfish with her, and demand that she Cinta only me, but if I did, that wouldn't be very fair." He shrugs. "When Cinta comes to you, you're lebih fortunate than anda realize," he says, then sits up beside Therion. "It's not up to me to decide where her hati, tengah-tengah goes. She loves me, and that's priceless, I treasure it almost lebih than anything else. She loves Lucius, and I count myself very lucky. And she loves you," he says and Therion shakes his head a little. "I don't deserve it..."
Snape runs his fingers through the wizard's soft mane. "Yes anda do. She thinks anda do, and so do I." They look at each other for a while, then Snape says quietly, "if I didn't, anda wouldn't be here right now." He kisses Therion's shoulder and tells him, "let's catch a couple hours of sleep while we can." Snape moves to the far side of the katil and settles himself beside Elsbet, and Therion settles down beside Malfoy. "Severus, thank you...thank anda for sharing with me," he says and Malfoy stirs. You're welcome, Snape thinks to him as Malfoy's head lifts up from the pillow. "Oh," he says sleepily, "are we going again?" Therion tries not to laugh as he strokes Malfoy's hair. "Yes," Snape tells him, "we're going back to sleep." He hides his impish chuckle behind Elsbet's head and Malfoy yawns, then lays his head back onto his pillow.