Disclaimer: Once again… I do not own the characters.

A/N: Please don’t just read, please let me know if anda liked it and what anda liked. It really will help me out.

Chapter 11


I was waiting for his answer. Did he Cinta me as much as I thought he did so he would do all he could to not hurt me? Time seemed to stop while I waited for his answer. He looked into my eyes with such intensity, like he was really struggling to give me the most honest answer he could.

He sighed. “Bella, you’ve been through a lot in a very short time. And anda found out a lot of horrible things that no other human knows in an even shorter time. As much as I care for you, I don’t want to hurt you.”

I interrupted him. “Don’t anda think it’s a little too late to not hurt me?”

“You don’t understand Bella. No human is ever supposed to know about us. That is the only rule that we have to live by. With anda just knowing about us can put all of us including you, in danger.”

“So, what does that mean then?” I was fuming.

“What it means is that I Cinta anda very much, I never really knew how much until a little while ago. I have contemplated leaving anda so that I wouldn’t hurt anda but I think that is going to be impossible for me at this time.”

He was talking in riddles. I didn’t understand, why couldn’t he just say yes atau no? I thought it would have been a pretty straight-laced question. I just shook my head getting irritated even more.

“Bella. I Cinta you. The answer to your soalan is yes. I Cinta anda and I am hoping that my Cinta for anda will be enough to stop me from hurting you, but I can’t guarantee that it’s going to help.”

“I am not asking for anything more. I never really thought that this was possible,” I said. I was breathless. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect this to really happen to me. True Cinta was part of a fairy tale, right? And I know that I am not part of that kind of life. What was I going to do now that my dreams were coming true? I just wish that I could tunjuk my mom that I was happy. At that moment I felt extremely sad again.

I felt my shoulders slump and all I wanted to do was to sit down. I missed my parents so much. How was I ever going to be able to deal with them being gone? Was I ever going to be completely happy again?

I let myself give in to the sudden pain of grief take me and I slumped to the ground. It was surprisingly soft. Before I knew it Edward was beside me, cradling me in his embrace. He kissed my hair and slipped his arms around me.

“I am sorry Edward. I was just thinking about how I wished I could tell my mom that I was happy but then it hit me all over again. I was never going to see her ever again. I would never see her smile atau feel her hug me ever again.”

“I can only imagine what this feels like to you. My parents died when I was seventeen, which is when Carlisle changed me to save me from dying. My mother begged that he do everything in his power to save me and that is what he could do.” I saw the pain in his eyes. He knew what I was going through after all.

“I am so sorry Edward. I had no idea. I never knew what happened to your parents. We should never have to deal with a loss of a parent.” I hugged him.

“I would like to say that in time your pain would heal. It won’t, but it does lessen a little, it becomes a little lebih bearable.”

I couldn’t say anything because I had a lump in my throat so I only nodded. I put my head down as tears that were filling my eyes spilled over. I hated to tunjuk my weakness to others. I wanted to be and stay strong but this was too much to bear. Too much emotion and they were on opposite ends of the spectrum. I was so happy that Edward loved me but I was still grieving for my parents.

“I’ve waited for anda for a long time Bella. I never knew that I would find someone like you.”

“I’ve waited for years for anda too Edward. I never knew that the emotion would be so strong. I never knew that I could Cinta as much as I do right now.” And I cried again. He lifted my chin a bit so he could look into my eyes; I blushed. His gaze was always so intense and right now it looked like he was looking at my soul. It was completely exposed to him and I couldn’t tell if I liked it atau not. All he did was Ciuman me gently and pull me closer to him.

And we sat like that for a while, until the sun started to set. Then Edward said, “We should get anda back to the house before it gets too cold out here for you.”

I just nodded. It seems like I had Lost any ability to think straight. I was just a ball of emotions that I didn’t seem to be able to handle. Was I going to be able to later? Would I be able to function properly again? I was so confused, so lost. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks.

Just like the way out here, we were back in no time. Definitely a great way to travel. When we got back to the house Alice it seemed, had all of the bags in from the car and up in the room organizing everything. I looked at her and she had a puzzled look to her face. She was looking between the clothes on the katil that looked freshly washed to her closet which was packed full of clothes.

Sensing that I was there she said, “This is never going to do. Where am I going to fit your clothes?”

“I have no idea,” I berkata softly. Her head snapped over to me.

“Honey, what’s wrong? Did Edward hurt you?”

“No. Well… no, he didn’t. It’s just that I had a breakdown in front of him. I have been trying to not break down but it just came on so fast.”

“Honey, anda shouldn’t worry about that. anda have had to go through something very traumatic, no one will think badly about anda for crying. It is to be expected. I think that if anda did not cry, we would be worried.”

“Thanks for understanding Alice. anda know all the right things to say don’t you?”

She shook her head. “Of course I do. What kind of psychic would I be if I didn’t?” With that she laughed and looked back to the mountain of clothes on the bed. “I think I am going to talk to Esme about getting my closet bigger.”

“Alice, has anyone ever told anda that anda are a freak?”

“Once atau twice,” she replied with a laugh. “Come on let’s go see if we can talk to Esme about remodeling.”

She led the way downstairs and we found Esme outside in the garden in the backyard. She looked up at us as we came closer. “Hi girls. How is everything going? Are anda ready to go back to school Bella? anda know, anda don’t have to go back so soon if anda don’t want to.”

“No, it’s okay. I think the distraction will be good for me. I have way too much time to let my mind wander and that’s when… never mind.”

“It’s okay. I understand,” she replied. “Alice? anda have something to say?”

She smiled. “I do. We have a problem up in our room. anda see… I have too many clothes and there isn’t enough room in my closet to fit Bella’s in. Do anda think we can do a little remodel job on my closet?”

“As if anda need a bigger closet,” Esme laughed. “But I can see that with the addition of Bella’s things, we will have to do something. Unless anda want to part with some of your clothes,” Esme berkata with a laugh to her voice. Her eyes were twinkling with mischief.

Alice gasped. “Esme, how could anda say such a horrible thing to me?”

Esme and I looked at each other and laughed. Alice loved her clothes and she had a ton so she didn’t need to wear one thing a saat time if she didn’t want to. With her arms crossed across her chest, she huffed, and stomped her foot.

Esme got up, went over to Alice, put her arm around her shoulders and said,” Alice, honey don’t be upset, I was only joking around with you. We will get that done right away. But,” she said, looking at me, “Bella is going to have to sleep somewhere else until we can get it done. With us working all night we can have it done in no time.”

“Great!” Alice exclaimed. “I’m sure that Edward wouldn’t mind sharing his room with Bella,” she berkata with a wink to me. What was she getting me into? “In fact, I know that he won’t mind.”

With her words echoing in my mind I felt my hati, tengah-tengah rate skyrocket. What did she mean that she knew that Edward wouldn’t mind sharing his room with me? What was she thinking and saying that to Esme? I was so embarrassed, I was sure that my face was beat red.

“Huh. Alice, it seems as though anda are becoming a matchmaker for the family too now. Just like Carlisle.” Esme smiled at me, gathered some of her Bunga and brought them into the house. Alice and I followed her in, my face still burning. I elbowed Alice in the ribs. All she did was smile and wink at me.

When we got in the house, Esme went to the dapur to get a vase for the Bunga that she had just picked. I was watching Esme arrange the Bunga when I felt something like a breeze coming from behind me. I turned around to see where the breeze was coming from and I was shocked to see that it was from Edward. He was right behind me and I never heard him come into the kitchen. I startled and slipped. He reached out to steady me so I didn’t fall down.

“You really need to stop doing that to me,” I said. “Pretty soon, I am going to have to walk around wearing a topi keledar so I don’t injure myself.”

“Sorry about that. So,” he started, “I hear that we are going to be roommates for a little bit. Are anda okay with that?”

“I have to be don’t I?”

“Well if anda wanted I could bring anda to your house and anda can sleep there.” I hadn’t thought of that. But I don’t know if I could handle being in the house sejak myself with all of those memories swarming me.

I shook my head, “No, I don’t think that I can handle that right now. Plus if I want to get any sleep at all, I think I should be somewhere where I know that I can stay… safe.”

“Yeah, that sounds like what anda will be in my room.” He looked a little discouraged about this.

“Edward, anda will not hurt Bella. anda don’t give yourself enough credit. Isn’t that right, Esme,” Alice stated.

“You are right. I won’t bet against you. I’m sure that anda didn’t see anything bad happening to Bella atau anda wouldn’t have suggested it.”

“Okay then. Bella, want to bring some things into my room? I’ll clear a spot for anda to sleep tonight,” Edward said. With that he left the room and went to his room.

“And anda berkata that he was going to be happy about me staying in his room. Looks like it,” I scoffed to Alice.

“Oh he will be, but he won’t tunjuk it in front of us now will he?”

“Right. Well… I’m going to get some things. See anda guys later.”

I walked away from them both and went up the stairs to Alice’s bedroom. School was tomorrow for me. It’s been two weeks since I’ve been there and I don’t know if I wanted to even go and see everyone. I know that I didn’t want to deal with the looks that I was going to get atau the condolences either. I didn’t want to deal with it. I just wanted to get on a normal routine again. I didn’t do very well without some kind of structure.

I went through some of the new clothes that Alice had insisted on getting for me and found a new pair of jeans that were form fitting. Then shuffling through the shirts and sweatshirts I found a very soft blue one that had a semi deep v-neck. There, that I thought would work since it was bound to be cold and rainy again tomorrow. I think my backpack and my buku are at my parents’ house. Maybe we could hayun, swing sejak on the way to school to get them.

I grabbed my clothes and went to find Edward. His door was cracked so I hesitated in knocking. I heard some things being moved around in his room, so I knocked softly. The door opened and Edward was standing there in the doorway. The sun coming in from the windows behind him made skin sparkle and his hair seem to be aglow. It was a very stunning picture, but not one that lasted long since he stepped aside to let me come in. I took a quick look in his room and was surprised to see that there wasn’t a bed, only a couch.

“Edward, where is anda bed?”

“I don’t have one. I don’t sleep.”

“What? anda don’t sleep ever?

“No, Vampires don’t need sleep so we don’t.”

“So no sleep means no dreams,” I said. “That must be lucky. I would give anything to stop the dreams that I have been having.”

“Oh? Why is that? What kind of dreams have anda been having?” He sounded concerned.

“I am just reliving the night of the accident over and over in my sleep. I can’t seem to get away from it.”

“I am so sorry Bella. I wish there was something that I could do to help anda out with that. That has to be very hard.”

“Yeah, it is,” I started. “Edward, I want to apologize for me breaking down earlier.”

“Oh don’t even go on from there,” he interrupted me. “You have nothing to worry about. I am just happy that we can be here for anda and make anda feel safe. Well, selamat, peti deposit keselamatan as can be.”

“Yes, and I appreciate everything. Oh, I noticed that my backpack isn’t here. It must still be at home, can we hayun, swing sejak my house to pick it up?”

“Of course. And Bella, anda can think of our house as your new utama if anda would like. We are working on getting a new room added on for you. Remember Esme looking at the Rekaan book? Well, she thinks that if anda are going to be here for awhile that anda should have your own room and not have to share with Alice.”

“Oh! She doesn’t have to do that.” I didn’t want to have to inconvenience anyone. This just made me feel even worse. Not only are they making Alice’s closet bigger, but now a whole new room, just for me.

“Bella no one can stop Esme when she gets on a role like this. She loves to decorate. It’s a good thing we have forever to have her be creative.”

I didn’t really have anything to say. There wasn’t anything I could have berkata that would have made a difference. So I glanced around at Edward’s room, he had one dinding that was completely filled bahagian, atas to bottom with music. On the other side of the room was a dinding of windows, lebih like the dinding was one big window. And the view was breathtaking. There was a river below and beyond that was a forest of the biggest trees I’ve ever seen. There was a sofa, kerusi panjang of pale beige suede along the window side of the room. I didn’t see any pictures on his walls atau anything else for that matter. It was just Muzik and nature. It gave one a sense of peace and relaxation.

“So where do I put my things?” I asked.

“You can put them sejak the stereo if you’d like. I won’t be bothering anda at night so anda can sleep on the sofa, kerusi panjang atau we could alih your katil in here if that would be better for you.”

“Oh… the sofa, kerusi panjang will be just fine.”

“Okay, well I am going out with Emmett and the others to go hunting. If anda need anything call my cell phone, okay?” He gave me a piece of paper that had his number on it. I looked at it briefly and noticed that his eyes were very dark and that he didn’t get too close to me. He must be feeling like he could be a danger to me right now, but that was only a guess on my part.

“Alright. Do anda know when anda are getting back?”

“Probably after anda are asleep. I won’t disturb anda at all.”

“Oh,” was all I could say. I was kind of hoping that he would stay here with me.

“Well, I better go. Jasper and Emmett are waiting for me outside. I get anda up in time for school and then get your backpack for your parents place. Good night Bella.”

“Night.” And he was out of his room. Left alone I took some time to look at Edward’s collections of music. He had a little bit of everything, but what surprised me the most was the impressive amount of classical he had. I was getting a peak into the real Edward right now. I really liked what I was learning so far and I had the feeling that it was nothing compared to what he didn’t let show.

I got changed into pajamas and brushed my teeth, ran a brush through my hair and climbed onto the couch. It was very comfortable to my surprise and I was out before I knew it.

Alice, what’s happening? Why won’t anda answer me?

Mom? Dad? Where are you? I can’t see anda anymore? Why won’t anda answer me?

Alice. Tell me what’s going on. Please…

Carlisle, what was the call about?

Edward? Do anda know what’s going on?

Someone please tell me what’s going on!

I woke with a silent scream on my lips. I looked up and saw that the moonlight was shining bright so the whole room was lit up. I looked across the room and was shocked to see Edward sitting there. He was still as a statue and I didn’t know if I was still sleeping atau if I was awake.

“Edward is that you? What are anda doing? Is this part of my dream?” Why wasn’t he saying anything? Why was he just sitting there staring at me?