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posted by smileypop9
Found this on www.funny.com. I find a lot of things there that I post...


A manager at Wal-Mart had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of resumes he found four people who were equally qualified. He decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.
The hari came and as the four sat around the conference room table, the interviewer asked, 'What is the fastest thing anda know of?'
The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning.
'That's very good!' replied the interviewer. 'And, now anda sir?', he asked the saat man.
'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and anda don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'
'Excellent!' berkata the interviewer. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' He then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.
'Well, out at my dad's ranch, anda step out of the house and on the dinding there's a light switch. When anda flip that switch, way out across the pasture the light on the bangsal comes on in less than an instant. 'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.
The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought he had found his man. 'It's hard to beat the speed of light,' he said.
Turning to BUBBA, the fourth and final man, the interviewer posed the same question.
Old Bubba replied, 'After hearing the sebelumnya three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHEA.'
'WHAT!?' berkata the interviewer, stunned sejak the response.
'Oh sure', berkata BUBBA. 'You see, the other hari I wasn't feeling so good, and I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, atau TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already s**t my pants.'
BUBBA is now the new greeter at a Wal-Mart near you!
added by soraroxasxion
added by emmett
 Pete
Pete
As a journalist, I decided to go to the animal, and interview some of the "inmates". I wanted to know what it was like in there from their perspective. What follows is not for the faint of heart.

I entered the building, and one of the workers accompanied me to the holding area. This is where Anjing are kept before they are allowed up for adoption. IF they are allowed up for adoption. If the Anjing are found to be aggressive in any way, euthanasia is employed. Fortunately, if "fortunately" is the word to be used here. In this establishment, and they use lethal injection, not a gas chamber.

The shelter...
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posted by E-Scope90
The mind is typically defined as the organized totality atau system of all mental processes atau psychic activities of an individual.c
Many philosophers hold that the brain is a detector of the mind and that the mind is an inner, subjective state of consciousness.h
Philosophers have used a variety of metaphors to describe the mind, including a blank sheet, a hydraulic device with different forces operating in it, atau a Televisyen switchboard.h
Attempts to understand the mind go back at least to the ancient Greeks. Plato, for example, believed that the mind acquired knowledge through virtue, independently...
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posted by hetaliaitaly
If your someone that hates being alone atau just feels they dont fit in then maybe anda will understand what i mean.

Lots of peope think they would Cinta to change lots of things about there life but really what would anda change? i would change how people treat me and this why ok! if anda have ever been depressed anda will understand what i mean people think just because anda have one happy hari with a friend means your back to normal.

But really one happy hari with a friend wont make all your problems go away being alone hurts alot lebih than it sounds infact being alone is the one feeling some people...
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Taylor's POV:
The seterusnya night I had a bad dream,I did all week,But Friday's scared me most:
I dreamed I stood in the kitchen,The lights were kinda blueish blackish.I heard a guy say:
Guy:Hello Taylor.
The guy was my dad
Taylor:DAD?*Turns around*What?
Dad:STOP!If anda step any closer,Lizzy...DIES!
Taylor:NO!!!LIZZY!!!
Dad:Taylor,Since the police saw that there was my finger prints.I will be going to prison tomorrow!So I wanna make this last!One way to keep your friend ALIVE,Is to walk outside...Barefoot...And stay all night!GOOD BYE!*Disappears*
I woke up,Opened the door,Walked down the hall,outside.Gulping,I stepped out.It was very cold!It was snow!I couldn't do it!But I had to!
*morning at recess*Nobody's POV
Lizzy:TAYLOR!WHERE ARE YOU?WE'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERY WHERE!*Sees Taylor and gasps*Taylor?
*Shakes*Taylor!WAKE UP!!Whats this?*Sees a scratch*AMY!!MRS AMY!!
posted by kassilove
When I was “CLEANING OUT MY CLOSET, I found an old CD of Eminem aka “THE REAL SLIM SHADY”. I started listening to it and “SANG FOR THE MOMENT". I have always been a “STAN” of Eminem and WITHOUT HIM(ME) I think I might LOSE MYSELF(YOURSELF). And, “TILL I COLLAPSE” I want to fly like a “MOCKING BIRD” atau even better as “SUPERMAN, because “WHEN IM GONE” I want to let everyone know that my life was “BEAUTIFUL”. I am “NOT AFRAID” to hit “ROCK BOTTOM” because I was born “LIKE A TOYSOLDEIR
posted by reb1009
The "Rick Roll" Hotline: 772-257-4501


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Have your Friends call 772-257-4501 for a special message from a certain 80's musician...
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April Fools hari Assistance Hotline: 413-497-0033


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Celebrate our kegemaran holiday (or any hari for that matter) with the April Fool's hari Assistance Hotline: 413-497-0033. Perfect for pranks!
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Prankster's Assistant Hotline: 781-452-0842


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Use the Prankster's Assistant Hotline for your pranks! 781-452-0842.
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The Urgent Message Hotline: 240-258-4005

(i had to add that extra gunk) XD
posted by Cantwait4book5
Why Can't I Own a Canadian?

October 2002

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses Nasihat to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she berkata that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned sejak a east coast resident, which was telah diposkan on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank anda for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share...
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posted by xSiVePux
I wait...

for 2 years long to reach my happiness, an unaswered soalan has been solved out sejak the miracle of its own.

I never feel so happy unlike when I was 12-13 years old, those number is a crack of my flaw and the sorrow of my life but in return...
I always got stabbed in the back sejak those foolish mortals.

Those things were all just my past, those hurtful memories begun to fade away from my scene but the scar on my hati, tengah-tengah still marked its pain.
When will it heal for sure? when will this agony vanish forever?

well the answer was this,

More pain I got when I broke my eyes, unfortunately it has happened...
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posted by demon_wolf
noun, verb, loved, lov·ing.
–noun
1.
a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
a feeling of warm personal attachment atau deep affection, as for a parent, child, atau friend.
3.
sexual passion atau desire.
4.
a person toward whom Cinta is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5.
(used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, atau the like): Would anda like to see a movie, love?
6.
a Cinta affair; an intensely amorous incident; amour.
7.
sexual intercourse; copulation.
8.
( initial capital letter ) a personification of sexual affection, as Eros atau Cupid.
9.
affectionate concern for the...
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I know some soalan about canada that non-canadians ask about Canada, i'm going to tell anda the jawapan


first, anda can NOT see polar bears in the jalan and we don't ride the them either we use CARS.


second, we live in houses, not igloos we would probably freeze after awhile


Thats all i know but know anda won't think canadians live in igloos and if Miley cyrus is Membaca this and did say canada sucks,WELL IT DOESEN'T SUCK!!!!
IT ROCKS!!! i'm proud to live in Canada.

:)
posted by InvaderStorm
He leaned against the wall, hati, tengah-tengah thumping and out of breath. He’d managed it, what everyone told him was impossible. He’d escaped them for what must have been the millionth time. He had told the world about it, but of course, nobody believed him, as nobody ever escapes them.
    They had unimaginable power, with forces and numbers greater then anything anda have ever seen. They wanted him dead. Not the ‘you mencuri my soda and I am going to kill you’ dead, they didn’t stand childish antics like that. No, they wanted him 6 feet under dead. But he escaped every time....
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posted by dramaqueen00
 eat it now!
eat it now!
How come you're always such a fussy young man?
Don't want no Captain Crunch, don't want no kismis, raisin Bran
Well, don't anda know that other kids are starving in Japan
So eat it, just eat it (prrr)

Don't wanna argue, I don't wanna debate
Don't want to hear about what kind of Makanan anda hate ooh
You won't get no Pencuci Mulut 'till anda clean off your plate
So eat it, don't anda tell me you're full


Just eat it, eat it , eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it
Have some lebih chicken, have some lebih pie
It doesn't matter , it's broiled atau fried
Just eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it
eat it, eat it, eat it, eat it, ooh

Your table...
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added by PrettyGirl_Rock
added by LovableXNerd
Source: Google
added by Crazedsitcomfan
#1: LUCY:
I haven't actually seen this movie, but somebody told me how stupid the ending is.
Lucy reaches 100% of her cerebral capacity and disappears within the spacetime continuum, where she explains that everything is connected and existence is only proven through time. Only her clothes and the black supercomputer are left behind.
And she herself suddenly disappears into thin air.
leaving only a text, saying, "I AM EVERYWHERE!".
It's bad enough Hellsing pulled that line..

#2; TWO AND A HALF MEN:
I loved this show, but it become less and less popular after Charlie left. And the producer, espically...
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 Razilee and Elijah Part 3 Unconfirmed Poster
Razilee and Elijah Part 3 Unconfirmed Poster
The new and secretively hidden Razilee and Elijah Part 3 film hasn't made any impact atau any appearances during November 2020 Kindness hari Project, atau at YT Winter Fest 2020, unlike the saat film, Razilee and Elijah: Part 2's first announcement in December 2019.

With that said, an unusual release tarikh was announced for a November 2021 release at the third Razilee and Elijah film. Nothing of the film has surfaced, storyline, plot, new project and effects prepared for the third film has been announced. In other words, the third film is as secretive as a film could get. The release tarikh of November...
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