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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the meja, jadual with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the susu carton.

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WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check atau charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a Televisyen set in her purse.
"So, do anda always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how anda can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out sejak the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He jawapan that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minit later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the co unter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought anda were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ....... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the susu carton!)

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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

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WORDS

A husband read an artikel to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000 .
The wife r eplied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

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CREATION

A man berkata to his wife one day, "I don't know how anda can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so anda would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to anda !

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The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the seterusnya day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The seterusnya morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper sejak the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
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God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .


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My Site is Worth
tunjuk this to your math teacher, and tell me what his/her reaction is! ^_^

Pi = 3.
141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399 375105820974944592307816406286208998628034825 342117067982148086513282306647093844609550582 231725359408128481117450284102701938521105559 644622948954930381964428810975665933446128475 648233786783165271201909145648566923460348610 454326648213393607260249141273724587006606315 588174881520920962829254091715364367892590360 011330530548820466521384146951941511609433057 270365759591953092186117381932611793105118548 074462379962749567351885752724891227938183011 949129833673362440656643086021394946395224737...
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"ATTENTION TDI AND TDA FANS!!!! GUESS WAT... FOR TOTAL DRAMA ACTION EPISODE 14 IS COMING OUT IN 3WEEKS!!!!!!! I REPEAT 3 WEEKS!!!! OMIGOSH THIS IS BIG NEWS THE EXACT tarikh IS: September 1, 2009 in both canada and the usa every1 should watch!!!!!!"
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My friend telah diposkan these on her bebo page a while lalu so I thought I'd share them with anda :D

1) Bring a pillow. Fall asleep until the last 15 minutes. Wake up, say ``oh geez, better get cracking'' and do some gibberish work.

2) Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming ``Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!''

3) If it is a math/science exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the surface integral symbol.

4) Make paper airplanes out of the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.

5) Talk the entire way through the...
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posted by shiriny
one in 10 of the world's population is left handed.
four out of five machintosh computer designers were left handed,and one out of four Apollo astronauts were left handers too.

lebih famous left hander:

drew barry more

Angelina jolie

nicole kidman

Marilyn monroe

demi moore

Mary-kate and ashley olsen

julia roberts

Hans christian anderson

mark twain

Billy ray cyrus

celine dion

Pierce brosnan

jim carry

Hugh jackman

brad pitt

Michelangelo

leonardo davinci

Picasso

newton

Albert einstein

george bush

charlie chaplin

cary grant

napeleon bonaparte

bill gates

marie curie

rachel adams

mark spitz
posted by shiriny
-chocolate kills dogs! True, Chocolate affects a dog's hati, tengah-tengah and nervous system. A few ounces is enough to kill a small sized dog.

-Ketchup was sold in the 1830's as a medicine.

-Leonardo da Vinci could write with one hand and draw with the other at the same time.

-Leonardo da Vinci invented scissors. Also, it took him 10 years to paint Mona Lisa's lips.

-Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

-A cockroach can live for 10 days without a head

-Brains are lebih active sleeping than watching TV

-There are lebih chickens than people in the world

-The thumbnail grows the slowest, and the middle nail grows...
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posted by BellaCullen96
After anda cut off a vehicle, give a "Thanks-for-letting-me-in" wave and nod to the other driver.
Always save your nose picking for when you're behind the wheel.
Drive closely behind speeding ambulances and api, kebakaran trucks so anda get ahead of everyone who pulls over to let them pass.
Drive with a pen and ATM envelope in your hand and write down everything a moron driver does.
If another driver honks at you, ignore it, continue to do exactly what anda are doing, and give him a dirty look.
If another driver is courteous enough to let anda in front of him/her, tunjuk your appreciation sejak letting the entire...
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posted by BellaCullen96
Take large objects on the train with you.
Sing songs. Start a round with everyone on the train.
Eat onions and garlic and talk to the people seterusnya to you.
Sell stuff.
Stand in front of the doorway and glare at people when they try to get by.
Yell to your Friends at the other end of the train.
Make fun of other people while they are in hearing distance of you.
Ride the train while drunk. Extra points if anda throw up.
Constantly ask people for directions.
Ask people where they are from.
Ask people where they are going.
Quiz people on the meaning of life.
Start a game of poker. Extra points if it's strip poker....
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posted by BellaCullen96
Ask everyone anda meet, "Hot enough for you?"
Sing the "Barney" theme song as loud as anda can.
If anda see kids building a sand castle, say, "That's not a real castle!"
Every time when you're about to itik under the water, yell, "Down periscope!"
Go swimming in a full business suit. If people notice, act like they're the weirdos.
Put sea shell to your ear and announce to first person to pass by, "It's for you!" Repeat several times.
Throw jellyfish around.
Tune radio to all-news station and blast as loud as anda can, then nod your head and snap your fingers like you're listening to some happenin' tunes.
Act like a sea gull.
Wear t-shirt that says, "I'm the coolest dude on this pathetic beach. No autographs please."
posted by boomy678
Materials:
Petroleum Jelly
Eyeshadow,body shimmer, atau pigments (for color)
small discardable and microwavable bowl
Discardable stirrer
lipgloss container with lids


Procedure:
1.Scoop some petroleum in the small bowl (more petroleum lebih gloss!)

2.Microwave for 5 min atau completely melted

3.Take out the petroleum and mix in the eyeshadow keep on putting lebih till anda reach your desired shade.

4.Mix well. Then pour in your mixture into the lipgloss container. Put in the freewer for 15-30 minutes.

Enjoy!!


Tip:to make flavored lip gloss add kool-aid instead (will stain lips).
posted by Mallory101
1. Recycle aluminum and glass.
2. Buy energy efficient appliances
3. Run clothes washers only when fully loaded, but don't overload
4. Plant a tree
5. Do all ironing at one time
6. Buy recycled paper
7. Buy low wattage atau compact fluorescent light bulbs
8. Turn off lights that don't need to be on
9. Use cold water instead of hot
10. Use small ovens atau stove-top cooking methods instead of your large oven
11. Bring your own reusable bags to the grocery store
12. Write companies urging them to use paper rather than plastics and styrofoam
13. Buy products that will last
14. Support environmentally conscious...
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posted by MrsPattinsonXO
Okay, so I was sitting on the sofa, kerusi panjang last night watching some rubbish Televisyen tunjuk and texting my boyfriend Liam. Anyway I think he'd had too much sugar that night cause he was all like 'I feel special when I wear my pelangi, rainbow colored raincoat' and stuff. So then he text and was like 'I Cinta anda soooooo much' and so I was like 'I Cinta anda more' and he was like 'NO!' and I was like Yes! and he was like 'No cause... cause... cause well I'm getting anda a birthday present! And so I'm like 'I'm getting anda one first' (cause his birthday is before mine) and then like ten minit later he's like damn. And so I'm like 'I win'.

THE END
posted by big-fat-meanie
www.thebeatles.com/
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www.google.co.uk/
barbie.everythinggirl.com/
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ten.com.au/
ninemsn.com.au/
au.tv.yahoo.com/
www.bratz.com/
uk.youtube.com/
www.messengerfreak.com/
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www.tv.com/
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www.jenniferlopez.com/
www.apple.com/itunes/
www.facedub.com/
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fotoflexer.com/...
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A little motavational poem I found link. Enjoy. ;P



At age 4, success is...not peeing in your pants.
___At age 12, success is...having friends.
____At age 16, success is...having a driver's license.
_______At age 20, success is...having sex.
________At age 35, success is...having money.
________At age 50, success is...having money.
_______At age 60, success is...having sex.
_____At age 70, success is...having a driver's license.
___At age 75, success is...having friends.
At age 90, success is...not peeing in your pants.
added by KateKicksAss
 I don't care who anda are, it still looks like a Nazi salute to me.
I don't care who you are, it still looks like a Nazi salute to me.
Over the past few months, I’ve noticed that, when it comes to Britain, the majority of Fanpoppers know very little. As a result, I have decided to write a guide. anda can thank me later.

1.    Money

We use pounds (£). Pounds are basically dollars, but are coins instead of notes. Our coins are 1p,2p,5p,10p,20p and 50p. The ‘p’ stands for pence. There are 100 pennies to a pound. After the coins, we then have the £5,£10,£20 and £50 notes, although £50 notes are very rare.

2.    Schools

The first real stage of school in Britain is Primary school for...
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The European Union recently expanded to include a total of 25 member states. Some people are concerned,however,that problems will arise with anemployment,and that high influx of immigrants from the former Eastern block countries will cause difficulties for the the other member states. What are the positive and negative consequences of including former Eastern block countries in the EU? Which do anda think are greater,the advantages atau disadvantages,for the newly expanded,25-member EU?


^^PLEASE someone help me :'(
posted by bubblegumm16
THE BOYFRIEND GUIDE
1) She walks away from anda mad *follow her*
2) She stares at your lips *kiss her*
3) When she pushes anda atau hits anda *grab her and don't let go*
4) When she brushes your hand *grab hers*
5) If she's cold *give her your jacket...or hold her*
6) If she don't talk to anda first *go talk to her*
7) When she goes to her Friends house *prank call her*

THE GIRLFRIEND GUIDE
1) If he pokes anda *get closer*
2) If he want's a guys night out *don't complain*
3) If he doesn't text back *don't jump to conclusions*
4) If he doesn't say anything *don't think he doesn't care*
5) If he's ticklish *he's a keeper*
6) If he lets anda wear his clothing *he likes anda in his stuff*
7) If anda are tired of waiting for him to make the first alih *make it yourself*
When creating a senarai of 100 ways to motivate yourself it struck that there were some commonalities inherent in a lot of the entries. Most of the items on the senarai consist of a physical atau emotional state that anda don’t currently have but can make into a goal of some type that anda can then strive after. The motivation in this is two fold if anda keep in mind that the journey atau striving is just as important as the goal atau endpoint. If anda can periodically look at how far anda have come from where anda started then the distance left to the goal won’t matter as much because anda will have a sense...
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added by SheWolf11
Source: I DO NOT OWN THIS IMAGE
posted by mini17
ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny... Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world!

TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for...
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