These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually berkata in court, word for word, taken down and now published sejak court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: Are anda sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your tarikh of birth?
A: July 15th.
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
Q: What gear were anda in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: anda forget? Can anda give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight atau thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband berkata to anda when he woke up that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
Q: Do anda know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo atau the occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: anda do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the seterusnya morning?
A: Did anda actually pass the bar exam?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
Q: Were anda present when your picture was taken?
Q: So the tarikh of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were anda doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: sejak death.
Q: And sejak whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can anda describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, atau a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have anda performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK?
Q: What school did anda go to?
A: Oral.
Q: Do anda recall the time that anda examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the meja, jadual wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him.
Q: Are anda qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before anda performed the autopsy, did anda check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did anda check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did anda check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when anda began the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can anda be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my meja in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
