Sirius PWNS Voldemort

So we all know who Bella is, complete muggle and interfering with the magical world. The Department of International Magical Cooperation and the Department of Magic Reversal are overlooking claims, as shown on that post on My Life Is Twilight. I know this has been covered a lot, but I'm going to go in a bit further on what makes Muggles like her so much.

In several articles, Bella was described as an empty shell, meaning any girl can relate to her. This fits, because we know that she's only described as clumsy. Well, so are hundreds of millions of people in the world...so they could fit into...

I like Twilight. I used to Cinta Twilight. But then, I began to feel disappointed. I wanted Bella to have DONE something that actually could affect the entire WORLD. Suddenly, I created my own versions of Edward and Bella and the Volturi. I like Twilight as it is....but it would be much better like this.
-1-
Bella angsa, swan tugged on her muddy brown ponytail to keep in in place as thundered roared and rain came down in buckets on the deserted island. The forest, slick with slime and muck, was dangerous enough without HIM lurking in the shadows. Her ears picked up a soft sound beneath the gale. He...

Note: I originally had this as a question, but I guess it was too long, so I'm re-posting this in an article.

Question number one: Vampires hearts don't beat, correct? Correct. I believe this is mentioned several times. Now, in health class, they teach anda that your hati, tengah-tengah pumps and makes your blood flow, correct? Correct. So, it stands to reason that, since Vampires hearts don't beat, they don't have blood flow, correct? Yes. So, they have no blood flow, no circulation. They cannot bleed, atau blush, atau anything related to circulation, yes? Yes. This is berkata several times in the book.

Now, call...

Hey, I was originally going to put this in the komen-komen section of a 'picks' question, but I realized it was too long so I put it here.

This is what I think, about the crap they call the 'Twilight Saga'. A book based on an author's wet dreams and hopes.

Twilight- Who? WHO FALLS IN Cinta AFTER SEEING A PERSON THREE TIMES IN THEIR ENTIRE LIFE?! Plus, I'll summarize the entire book.

It's like-
Bella: Oh Edward, anda hate me.
Edward: No I Cinta you
Bella: anda Cinta me?
Edward: Stay away from me.
Bella: Stay away from you?
Edward: Just stay with me. I mean, it was obvious I wanted anda from the start, wasn't...

OK, so many Harry Potter/vampire peminat-peminat (like myself) will probably agree that Edward Cullen is not a real vampire. The only similarities that Edward and other Vampires have is the liking of human blood. I suppose Meyer was trying to be original, and I don't mean to offend anyone who does like the sparklepyres.

Why Edward Cullen is a niffler

Before I state my actual reasons, I should probably tell anyone who doesn't know what a niffler actually is. For this I have my trusty Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them book:

NIFFLER
M.O.M. Classification: XXX [Which means a competent wizard should cope...

In my opinion, Twilight is good. Not as great as Harry Potter, but good. I've composed a senarai of what would turn Twilight great-with the help of various Twilight and Harry Potter fans.

1.Make Bella a vampire slayer
2.make Bella less whiny
3.Bella can do backflips
4.Jacob gets arrested sejak the Animal Cops
5.Edward's name changes to "Schmirrnoff"
6.Edward dies
7.Or Bella dies
8.Creamed corn
9.Hogwarts
10.A theme song
11.Bella isn't dependent on Edward
12.Lauren turns out to be Wonder Woman
13.Log cabin
14.Voldemort destroys the Volturi
15."squishy octopus"
16.make Bella smart
17. Change "forks" into "Spoons" because...