March 17, 2008,
Damien and I have been dating for a while now and I turned 14 a few days ago. I'm still managing to keep our relationship a secret from my dad and I don't see anything ruining that in the near future. Damien turns 17 at the end of this year.
I was getting ready to leave the house and go to the skate Park. After I snuck out, I went to our usual meeting place that the guys and I had picked out. When I got there, Damien walked up to me and gave me a kiss. Our immature Friends started saying "gross; anda two are always Ciuman each other!" I asked "would anda rather us make out in front of you?" Brandon rolled his eyes and Damien berkata "that's what I thought! anda guys just wait until anda have girlfriends! AJ and I are going to make so much fun of you!” I kissed him again just to get on their nerves and the two of us chuckled.
The two of us started walking down the jalan and Damien took out his wallet. He berkata "wait till anda see what I got yesterday!" I asked "what?" He passed me a card and berkata "my driver’s license! Now I don't have to drive around with my mom in the car anymore!" I berkata "that's cool! The only thing that sucks is that anda don't have a car of your own yet." He berkata "I might get a job soon so; it won't be long before I do have one." I laughed and berkata "it's hard to picture anda driving! I wish anda could take me somewhere!" He berkata "my mom doesn't like me driving her car atau else I would." I berkata "I have an idea!" He rolled his eyes and berkata "oh boy; I can't wait to hear this!" I berkata "my dad parks his car nowhere near our house and he always leaves the keys in it because no one goes over there." Damien raised his eyebrows and asked "so what you're telling me is that we should just take your dad's car without him knowing?" I laughed and berkata "that's exactly what I'm saying!"
Damien is a troublemaker too so; he didn't put too much thought into my plan and we casually made our way to where the car is. We walked up to the black Rolls-Royce and Damien's mouth dropped as he asked "this is your dad's car?" I constantly have to remind myself that he doesn't know who my dad is and I berkata "yeah; there it is." He berkata "wow; your dad's a good businessman!" I berkata "yeah; now anda see why he has to hide the car all the way over here in the middle of nowhere." I opened the car door and took the keys out. I pass them to Damien and he berkata "oh man; I can't believe I get to drive this awesome car!"
He started the car up and I berkata "whatever anda do; don't crash because then I'll have to come clean to my dad about sneaking out and dating you!" He berkata "I passed my driver’s test on the first try so; there's nothing to worry about!" He drove down to the local movie rental place and the two of us got out of the car. I asked "what are we doing here?" He berkata "I saw the TV that is built into the back kerusi, tempat duduk and figured we could watch a few movies! I'll use my movie card because I always pick up Filem on my way utama from school and I can rent as many Filem as I want to for only $15 a month." I asked as we walked inside "what movie did anda want to get?" He berkata "let's get Spiderman three because I haven't seen that yet." We went and checked out our movie and then got back into the car.
Damien and I climbed into the back kerusi, tempat duduk and started the movie. Soon after the movie started, it reached a boring part and we started making out. After a few minutes, Damien berkata "you know; anda are 14 now." I berkata "so" and he berkata "maybe it's time we take that seterusnya step!" Millions of thoughts came into my head and I asked "you're talking about sex; right?" He smiled and berkata "yes!" I berkata "okay" and he took off my shirt.
sejak the time he had gotten to my jeans, he was already in his boxers. Just as we were about to start, I was remembering the talk that dad and I had on the pantai that hari back in 2006. I looked at Damien and asked "wait; do anda have a condom on you?" He berkata "we'll be fine without one!" I asked hesitating a little bit "what makes anda think that?" He berkata "all three of the guys have already Lost their virginity and they didn't use condoms! I'll just pull out before it gets too intense. Trust me; there's nothing to worry about! I know it will work!" I berkata "well; as long as anda promise that you’ll pull out then we can have sex!" He got excited and berkata "I will; I promise!"
Afterwards, Damien and I brought the car back to where it belongs. He walked with me until we were about three blocks away from my house. I didn't want him to see where I lived because then he would know that Michael Jackson is my dad. He leaned in to Ciuman me and I berkata "I didn't know losing your virginity was supposed to hurt this bad!" He berkata "it didn't hurt me!" I berkata "I knew my first time was supposed to hurt because I'm a girl but; this is way worse than I thought it would be!" He berkata "it should be better sejak tomorrow but; I have to get going before my mom starts to worry."
March 18, 2008,
I came downstairs and was still in excruciating pain from losing my virginity last night and walked into the living room. Dad walked up behind me and berkata "good morning AJ!" He kissed my forehead and berkata "I Cinta you!" I berkata "I Cinta anda too." As I sat down on the couch, Blanket came over and sat on my lap and I berkata "ouch!" Before I realized that I berkata that out loud, dad asked "what's wrong?" I berkata "oh nothing; I just slept on my back all night long without rolling over and I'm a little sore." He berkata "just go upstairs and sleep for a while; it should feel better after that!"
I have to admit that sleeping sounded pretty good because of the amount of pain I was in. I went upstairs and ended up sleeping for seven hours straight. When I woke up, I was feeling a lot better and wasn't worried anymore about dad finding out!
April 10, 2008,
I'm pacing around my bedroom because I bought a pregnancy test. I'm really worried at this point because I've had all the early signs of being pregnant. I closed my eyes and then open them as I looked down at the pregnancy test. I picked it up and took a closer look as I saw a merah jambu plus sign on it. I immediately started crying as I held my head in my hands and sat down on the bed. I picked up my cell phone and texted "Damien; I need to tell anda something!" He responded 20 minit later sejak saying "what's going on?" My fingers stroked the keyboard on my cell phone as I tried to figure out what to say
I finally just took a picture of the pregnancy test and sent it to Damien. He responded "what is that?" I asked "what does it look like?" He berkata "alright AJ; this joke really isn't funny anymore!" I berkata "IT'S NOT A JOKE DAMIEN!" I waited for a response for over an jam but there wasn't one.
I knew that I would eventually have to tell my dad EVERYTHING so; I just wanted to get it over with. I opened my bedroom door and asked "dad; can anda come in my room for a minute?" He smiled and berkata "of course!" I shut the door and he berkata "it's been a long time since I've spent time with anda alone." I took a deep breath as I sat back down on my katil and berkata "I want to talk to you." He berkata "okay" and I berkata "I think anda should sit down!" He pulled my computer chair across from me and berkata "alright; I'm sitting!" I berkata "before I really start talking I need anda to promise me that anda won't interrupt?" He berkata "okay; I promise!"
As I got up the courage to start the conversation, I stared at his smile and perfect teeth. I took a deep breath and berkata "I haven't been as well behaved as anda think I have since we got to Vegas. There are three things that I need to tell you. The first thing is that I've been sneaking out of the house since we moved here!" He raised his eyebrows and I berkata "the saat thing is that I have boyfriend!" His eyes widened as big as saucers and mouth slightly opened.
Before I could get to the third thing, dad asked under his breath "you've been sneaking out of the house? anda have boyfriend?" I shook my head in agreement and he berkata "you're not 16 years old yet! What are anda doing sneaking out of the house and dating some guy?" I berkata "no one knows what my face looks like in public because I wear my mask when I'm out with anda so; no one notices me when I'm not wearing it!" He berkata "you've been going out of the house without your mask on!" I shook my head again and he asked with clear irritation in his voice "who is this boy you're dating???" I berkata "his name is Damien and I met him at an alley a few blocks away from here. We hang out at the skate Park together all the time and I've made a few other Friends also!" Dad asked "how old is he?" I took a deep breath and whispered so quietly that he couldn't hear me. He asked "what?" I berkata "he'll be 17 at the end of this year." Dad's mouth dropped wide open and berkata "17; he's going to be 17 sejak the time you're almost 15!!!" He started to get really angry with the fact that I had a boyfriend and that he is two years older than I am!
Dad slammed his fist down on my nightstand and berkata "I'm not angry with anda but; this guy must be really stupid if he thinks dating a 14-year-old is okay!" He looked up at me and asked "what was the third thing that anda wanted to tell me?" I berkata "I don't think I can tell anda so; I'll tunjuk you."
My hand shook as I passed dad the positive pregnancy test and he looked down at it. He literally didn't say anything for 15 minit as he stared down at it. I saw tears pour down his face as he shook his head in disbelief. He asked "you're pregnant?" I started to cry because of how emotional he was and berkata "yes!" He berkata "well; there goes your childhood forever! I tried so hard to make sure that anda had the chance to be a kid! You're only 14 years old and you're going to be a mother!!!" He wiped tears away and berkata "you knew I didn't want anda having sex and anda went and did it anyway! Where did anda two have sex?" I hesitated and he asked "WHERE DID anda TWO HAVE SEX?" I berkata with a shaky voice "in the Rolls-Royce." He berkata as he put his hands on the bahagian, atas of his head "in my car? anda HAD SEX IN MY CAR!!!"
Dad started gagging and berkata "even though I don't want anda having sex; I thought I explained to anda the importance of using a condom! If you're going to have sex even though I told anda not to; I would want anda to use a condom! Why didn't this Damien kid put one on?" I berkata while wiping away tears "he didn't have one and he told me that he would pull out before things got too intense!" Dad looked at me in disgust as he pictured what I was describing and berkata "Alanna; don't listen to a guy when they say that! It doesn't work; trust me!!!" I berkata while sobbing "yeah; I can see that now!"
My dad saw that reality was hitting me and hitting me hard! He sat down seterusnya to me on the katil in silence as he stared at the pregnancy test once more. He hugged me and squeezed me as tight as he possibly could! He berkata trying to console me "I know; it's going to be hard but; we’ll get through it! I smiled up at him and he berkata "there's always a positive side! anda have a human being growing inside anda and that's one of God's greatest gifts! You're going to have to grow up fast but; I'll be here to help anda every step the way!" I asked calming myself down "are anda mad at me dad?" He berkata the words no child wants to hear "no; but I am disappointed in you!" We got up and he went over to my closet. He took out my baseball bat and berkata "I don't want to hear anda complain; you're menunjukkan me where Damien’s house is!"
Dad and I pulled up in front of Damien's mother's house. We both got out of the car and he opened up the trunk. He took the baseball bat out and I asked "what do anda need that for?" He didn't answer me and I berkata "don't hurt him daddy!" Dad looked at me as we walked up the front steps and berkata "I'm not making any promises!"
I knocked on the door and Damien’s mom answered it. She didn't notice dad at first and berkata "hi AJ!" Her eyes slowly moved over to dad and she asked while stuttering "are anda Michael Jackson?" Dad berkata "yes I am; is Damien here?" She berkata "come on in; he's in the living room." We walked inside and Damien was sitting on the couch. Damien looked up in shock at the fact that Michael Jackson was standing in his living room!
Before Damien could say anything, dad grabbed him sejak his T-shirt and pinned him up against the wall! Kate asked "WHAT DO anda THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY SON?" Dad berkata "WHY DON'T anda ASK YOUR SON?" Damien looked at me confused and I berkata "well; anda finally met my dad!" Damien asked "MICHAEL JACKSON IS YOUR DAD???" I berkata "yup" and Kate asked "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE? I'M SO CONFUSED!" Dad berkata "apparently; Damien got Alanna pregnant!" She looked at Damien and berkata "WHAT!" Damien berkata with a nervous laugh "congratulations grandma!" Dad berkata as he raised his fist to punch him "I DON'T FIND THIS FUNNY AT ALL anda LITTLE ASSHOLE!!!"
I lowered dad's fist away from Damien's face and berkata "can't we just talk about this without all the screaming!" Dad took a deep breath and released his grip on Damien’s baju and berkata "you're right." Kate gestured for dad and I to sit down on the sofa, kerusi panjang seterusnya to them. She went and got some snacks for us to eat while dad tried to intimidate Damien with the stare he was giving him. When Kate came back into the room, I berkata "all right; if we're going to have this conversation we need to do it without the yelling because that's not going to get us anywhere."
Damien looked at my dad and waited for him to say something. Dad looked at Kate with the same expression of disbelief on his face. Kate just shook her head over and over because she couldn't believe that I was actually pregnant. Dad interrupted the silence sejak asking "what would make anda think that it's okay for anda to tarikh a 14-year-old?" Damien berkata "I don't think two years is that much of an age difference between AJ and I." Dad berkata "okay well; I disagree with that. How come anda didn't use protection?" Damien stuttered "I – I didn't think we needed too. I thought if I pulled out nothing would happen." Kate rolled her eyes and berkata "that is the stupidest thing I have ever heard come out of your mouth Damien and you’ve berkata a lot of stupid things before." Dad berkata "that obviously didn't work! Damien let out a deep sigh and berkata "yeah; I know!" Kate berkata "you seem like anda don't care Damien! I don't think anda understand the gravity of the situation! There is a baby growing inside of Alanna right now and you're the whole reason the baby is there in the first place!" Dad nodded in agreement and berkata "you took the words right out of my mouth." Kate berkata "this is so much to take in at once! First I find out that AJ's father is Michael Jackson! Then I find out anda and AJ had sex! Then to bahagian, atas it all off, you're going to be a father at 16 years old!" Dad berkata "tell me about it! I think everyone should just take a few days before we really talk about this because this is a lot to take in."
As dad and I got back into his car, we both looked at each other in silence before he turned the key in the ignition. I berkata "I'm really sorry Dad. I didn't want any of this happened so soon!" He berkata "I know anda didn't… It's just really disappointing and it hurts!" I just looked down at my feet because I knew there's nothing I could have berkata to make the situation any better. I remember looking at dad and just thinking to myself "I wonder what he's thinking about? I really hurt him this time; I can tell sejak the look on his face!!!”
April 12, 2008,
Dad and I haven't really talked about me being pregnant since we left Damien's house a few days lalu because he doesn't want my siblings to find out just yet. I was up in my room lying in my bed, when dad came in and shut the door behind him. He asked "can I talk to anda for a minute?" I looked up at the ceiling and berkata "yeah sure." He sat down on my katil and smirked down at me.
He berkata as he held my hand "I've been thinking… I was wondering what do anda want to do with the baby?" I berkata "well; I'm of course going to keep it!" He asked with a worried tone in his voice "are anda sure about that? It's a lot of work taking care of a baby and it's not just for a few years; you're making a lifelong commitment! Changing diapers, feeding, bathing, going to doctors’ appointments… IT'S A LOT OF WORK!" I berkata "I'll make it through it!" He berkata "I'd like to offer anda something and it's up to anda whether atau not anda like the idea. I won't be upset if anda don't go along with it.” I looked up at him and asked "what?" He sighed and berkata "I thought I was done with having lebih children at this point in my life. I'm willing to adopt your baby and raise it as my own that way; anda can have your childhood back and be able to see the baby every day!” I berkata "it's nice of anda to offer to do something for me like that but; I want to be a mom. I think it would be kind of awkward to hear the baby call me sister and for me to know that he atau she is really my child!" Dad berkata "that's okay; I understand where you're coming from. It was just a thought that I had last night. If you're going to raise this baby though; anda have to get your act together! anda can't put yourself first anymore because anda have a child that depends on you! anda can't constantly be getting yourself into trouble! I just want to make it very clear that if anda really want to do this then you're going to be the one taking care of the baby, not me! I'm not saying that I won't help anda out every now and then but; it's your responsibility." I shook my head in agreement and he hugged me.
April 16, 2008,
Dad and I were cleaning up the dapur when we heard frantic knocking on the front door. He opened up the door and Kate ran inside. Dad looked around to see if my siblings were upstairs then, he asked "what's wrong?" She berkata as she sat down at the meja, jadual "I don't know where Damien is! I think the reality of being a dad was getting to him and he ran away! He won't answer my phone calls but; he's been on his MySpace page!" Dad asked "when was the last time anda saw him?" She berkata "the hari anda came over! He seemed fine after anda left! When I woke up the seterusnya morning, all the money in my wallet was gone and my credit cards too!" Dad berkata "well; he must be planning be gone for a while if he took your credit cards!" She berkata "I'm not going to batal them because he might need them to buy food!" Dad asked "did anda check the baru-baru ini charges made on your account? We might be able to find out where he is!" Kate berkata "I already checked! Wherever he is; he doesn't want us to find him because he's being really smart about what he buys with my credit cards. What I really want him to do is rent a hotel room because then we can find him!" I interrupted "trust me; he wouldn't be that stupid! I'm a troublemaker too so I understand his brain!" Kate berkata "the police berkata that there's nothing they can do because Damien's 16 and if he doesn't want to come utama they wouldn't be able to make him!" Dad berkata "keep an eye on your credit cards Kate because the only choice we have right now is to hope that he'll slip up atau just decide to come home! For the time being, at least we know he has money on him."
1 million thoughts went through my mind as I stood there at the dapur counter while the two of them had their conversation. That idiot; I can't believe he would leave me like this and without even saying anything. He's the one who got me pregnant and he can't just bail on me like that. When he gets back I'm going to give him up to my mind! He can't take it back now because I'm already pregnant!
April 22, 2008,
Dad is having a man named Dr. Murray come over to the house today so I can have my first ultrasound. I would've wanted Damien here for this but; there's still no sign of him! He did finally call his mom though but only to say that he's not coming home! I don't like how this whole situation is starting to play out and I hope Damien comes to his senses because I don't want to do this on my own!
Dad and Dr. Murray shook hands and I lay down on the couch. Dr. Murray asked with a thick Jamaican accent "are anda excited to be a mother?" I berkata "it hasn't really sunk in yet!" While he prepped me for the ultrasound, he and dad made small talk. Dad berkata "I heard that anda specialize in cardiology." Dr. Murray berkata "primarily yes; this is just something I do on the side." He scanned my stomach and berkata "well; there's definitely only one baby in there; that's for sure! Dad took a sigh of relief and berkata "thank God it's only one!" I asked "how long will it be until I can find out if it's a boy atau a girl?" He berkata "10 lebih weeks until anda can find out." Dad asked "don't anda want it to be a surprise?" I berkata "I have to know as soon as possible! I can't wait nine months; did anda forget who anda are talking to?" Dad and I both started laughing and he berkata "oh yeah!"
Dr. Murray wrote on a notepad and berkata "I've done the math and it looks like your due tarikh should be November 18th of this year." As I got up off of the couch, I asked "will anda come back in 10 weeks so I can find out the gender of the baby?" He smiled and berkata "of course I will; let me give anda a prescription for your prenatal vitamins before I leave."
May 5, 2008,
I was in my room surfing the Internet and stared at Damien's MySpace page. I was hoping that he would magically start a conversation with me but; that didn't happen. Dad came into my room and sat down seterusnya to me. He berkata "I need to talk to anda about something and I don't know how you're going to react.” I raised my eyebrows and asked "what?" He berkata "I'm going on tour again!" I berkata "I don't know why anda think I would react badly to that; that's so awesome!" He sighed and berkata "that's not the part I'm worried about."
He hesitated over and over before I berkata "just tell me already!" He berkata "we're moving back to LA for now and eventually to London where the concerts will be." I berkata "back to LA? Then to London? We can't move! What if Damien comes back?" Dad looked at me sympathetically and berkata "sweetheart; I think you're in denial about Damien! I don't think he's coming back." I looked at him as I shook my head and berkata "he's going to come back!" Dad grabbed my hand and berkata "I don't think he is AJ." I pulled away and berkata raising my voice "YOU'RE WRONG; YOU'LL SEE!"
Dad looked at the desperation in my eyes as I refuse to believe what he was telling me. I sat down on the katil and he sat down seterusnya to me. I berkata "HE DIDN'T DITCH ME; HE WOULDN'T DO THAT!" Dad hugged me and in that moment I realized that he was right. I continued to repeat "he didn't abandon me; DAMIEN'S COMING BACK" as I started to sob uncontrollably. Dad could hardly understand me as I repeated that phrase over and over again.
Dad passed me a tissue and I berkata crying to an uncontrollable point "I can't do this alone!" Dad smiled down at me as he wiped my tears with his sleeve and berkata "who berkata anda would be alone? You've got me; don't you?" I smiled and berkata "I guess." He berkata "guessing has nothing to do with it! I'm here for anda now and I'm never leaving! I'll never abandon anda like Damien did! He's an immature jerk and needs to grow up! I think it's best that he stays wherever he is right now because if he comes back I'll kick his ass!!!"
I started laughing and dad asked "what's so funny?" I berkata "sorry; I can't help it! It's so weird hearing anda swear; I'm not used to it!" He smiled as if he didn't even notice that he swore and berkata "I'm angry with Damien! Not for leaving but; for hurting you!" I couldn't care less about him being around because I don't think he'd be a good influence on anda atau the baby but seeing anda so desperately want him here hurts me lebih than anda could imagine! Hurt me; I don't care! Hurt my baby and you'll regret it! I actually think that staying away is the only smart thing I've seen him do since I met him!" The two of us laughed and I berkata "I think you're right about that one" as he put his arm around me.
May 9, 2008,
After dad found a place for us to live in California, we moved into it yesterday. Dad reluctantly decided to invite the rest of the Jackson family over for dinner, of course not including my grandfather.
As I was tossing the empty cardboard boxes out of my new bedroom, dad came in and sat down on my bare mattress. He berkata "I think what we should do is tell Grace and your siblings that you're pregnant now. Then we'll tell everyone else at makan malam, majlis makan malam tonight." I sighed and berkata "okay; I want to get this over with!"
The two of us walked downstairs and went to gather them. All of us sat down on the sofa, kerusi panjang and dad berkata "AJ needs to tell anda guys something." I berkata "I'm going to be having a baby." Prince and Paris smiled while Blanket looked at me with a confused look on his face. He asked" where did the baby from?" Dad and I both looked at each other while we searched for the right answer. Dad berkata "a special hug." I had to force myself not to laugh at dad's explanation and Blanket asked "who did AJ hug? Dad lightly thumped the back of my head to get me to stop laughing and berkata "a friend of hers." Paris berkata "that means I'm going to be an aunt and anda guys are going to be uncles!" Blanket hugged me and asked "when is the baby going to come out of your tummy?" I berkata "not until November" as Grace pulled dad and I into the other room.
She shut the door behind her and asked "are anda really pregnant?" I berkata "I wouldn't joke about something like this! Yes I really am pregnant!" She asked "Michael how long have anda known?" He berkata "since the beginning of April." She asked "who's the father?" Dad berkata "his name is Damien but; I don't think you'll be seeing too much of him! He skipped town and hasn't contacted any of us since." Grace looked shocked as she tried to comprehend the idea of me being a mother. Dad berkata "trust me; AJ understands that it's not going to be easy! She wants to raise the baby on her own and anda and I will be here to help her if she needs us." She asked "how do anda think the rest of the family is going to react?" He berkata "all I can say right now is that I'm glad Joseph isn't coming because he would blame everything on me!"
After makan malam, majlis makan malam had been served, dad, my uncles, aunts, my grandmother, and I all sat down in the living room. Uncle Jackie asked "how come anda invited us over for makan malam, majlis makan malam Michael?" Dad looked at me and asked "do anda want me to tell everyone?" I berkata "yeah; they will take anda better if it's coming from you!" Uncle Randy asked "what's going on?" Dad berkata "well; Alanna's pregnant. Before anda ask, the baby's father is nowhere to be found and we don't expect to hear from him anytime soon!" I looked at my grandmother and asked "are anda okay grandma?" She berkata "I didn't expect anda to be a grandfather so soon Michael." Dad berkata "I know; I'm surprised sejak it too!" Aunt Janet asked "when the baby due?" I berkata "November 18 of this year."
I was surprised when they each congratulated me and berkata they would be there for support. After they left, dad berkata "that went better than I expected!" I berkata "I'm just glad it didn't turn into a screaming match!" Dad berkata "I thought for sure that one of them would accuse me of not being involved enough with anda to stop anda from getting pregnant!" I berkata "I don't think anda would've been able to stop me either way. anda know how I am; I do whatever I want to do in the moment!"
June 4, 2008,
Dad was in the middle of his first hari of rehearsals for his "this is it" tour when I called him. He answered his phone and asked frantically like any concerned father would "what's wrong? Are anda okay?" As he responded to me he berkata "don't feel bad! I'll be right there!" He hung up his cell phone and Kenny Ortega the director of the tour asked "is everything all right Michael?" Dad berkata "yeah; AJ has been having morning sickness and accidentally threw up all over her bathroom floor. Grace isn't utama because she took the other children out shopping so; I'll be back in an jam after I finish cleaning up the bathroom." Kenny berkata "okay; it's time for a break anyway." Dad yanked his car keys off a nearby meja, jadual and walked out the door as he adjusted the Fedora hat on his head.
About 15 minit later, I could hear his footsteps coming up the stairs as he called out "I'm coming AJ." He opened up my bedroom door and I was sitting on my bed. He walked up to my bathroom and looked down at the ground. He looked back up at me as I was about to say something but; I just started crying. He looked at me sympathetically and asked as he sat down on the katil "what's wrong?" I berkata "I'm sorry! I didn't mean to! I was so close but –" he berkata "Alanna; it's okay! It's lebih normal than anda think it is." I berkata "I know that you're not mad at me." He raised his eyebrows and asked "then why are anda crying?" I berkata "I honestly don't know! I've literally been crying like this on and off since they all went shopping! I was watching TV when a commercial break started and I burst out crying because I didn't want to watch commercials! How stupid is that? I can't believe I was crying over freaking commercials!"
Dad chuckled as he grabbed a roll of paper towels from the cabinet under my bathroom sink. He berkata "it must be the mood swings!" I asked confused "mood swings; really?" He berkata as he cleaned up the floor "yes; that's part of being pregnant! You're supposed to have mood swings!" I asked "how many lebih times am I going to cry like this?" He berkata as he shut off the bathroom light "the entire pregnancy; every now and then probably!" I berkata with tears flowing from my eyes "I'm going to be like this until November! I don't cry dad! This isn't who I am! I think I've only cried five times since I was 10!" He couldn't help but laugh at how overdramatic I was being and I berkata as I cried into a tissue "it's not funny dad!"
He sat down seterusnya to me on my katil and berkata still trying to hide his laughter "I'm sorry; I've never seen anda like this and from my point of view it is really funny!" I lay down on my katil and propped myself up with pillows. I looked at the TV and screamed as I sobbed uncontrollably "not lebih commercials! Why do they always have to have commercials at the best part of the show?" He chuckled into his arm and asked "why don't anda just watch a movie that way there isn't any commercials?" I berkata in between sobs "because this is a good tunjuk and that skinny little dog is going to get adopted and, and –!" Dad got up and berkata "I think that's my cue to leave now!" He laughed as he got up from my katil and berkata "have fun crying your eyes out!" I playfully threw a throw bantal at his head as he shut my bedroom door.
June 23, 2008,
It was the middle of the night when I walked down to dad's bedroom. He was fast asleep but; I barely tapped him and he jumped up. He frantically asked "did your water break?" I rolled my eyes and berkata "daddy I've only been pregnant for 2 1/2 months! It's nowhere near time for that yet!" He rubbed his eyes and asked "what's the matter?" I berkata "I'm hungry!" He berkata "then go downstairs and get something to eat." I berkata "I don't want anything down there!" He yawned and asked "then what do anda want?" I berkata "KFC" and he looked at his alarm clock. He berkata "it's two in the morning and anda want me to get anda Kentucky fried chicken." I pouted "please; that's what the baby wants!" He smiled and berkata "I can't say no to you." I berkata "thank anda daddy!" He berkata as he hugged me "yeah, yeah, yeah!"
25 minit later, he walked into my room carrying a big bag of Makanan and sat down on my bed." As he took container after container out of the bag, I asked "why did anda get so much?" He berkata "well; there's no way I'm going to be able to fall right back asleep now so, I might as well eat with you!" I berkata as I began to fill my plate with Makanan "sorry for waking anda up in the middle of the night to go get me KFC dad." He berkata "that's alright; I know anda can't help it! If Damien was here that's what he'd be doing anyway and I told anda that anda weren't going to do this whole pregnancy thing alone! If that means I have to make late-night runs to get anda whenever you're craving then so be it!" I hugged him as I stuffed my face and he laughed. This was the first of many craving trips I would send him on during these nine months!
July 11, 2008,
I came downstairs and berkata "come on Dr. Murray hurry up and get here already! I want to know now!" Dad berkata down seterusnya to me on the sofa, kerusi panjang and asked as he laughed at my apparent excitement "will anda chill out? You're going to make yourself go into early labor!" I berkata "I can't; I need to know now if I'm having a boy atau a girl!"
I heard the front door open and pretty much dragged Dr. Murray into the living room. Dad berkata as Dr. Murray sat down to start prepping "I have something I’d like to ask anda Dr. Murray." He responded "yes?" Dad berkata "well; I've started rehearsing for my 'this is it’ tour and I'd like to hire anda as my permanent physician from this point on to the end of the tour. My konsert promoters have agreed to pay anda six figures a year!" Dr. Murray was taken aback at the amount and berkata "of course; anything for anda Michael!" Dad berkata "great; you'll start seterusnya week and accompany me to each of my rehearsals at the Staples Center."
I cleared my throat to break their conversation and Dr. Murray berkata "oh yeah; I forgot why I came here in the first place!" He started scanning my stomach and berkata "alright; let's see what we've got here. As he moved the computer tetikus across the screen dad berkata with a smile on his face "oh; I think I can tell what it is already!" I berkata "be quiet you; don't ruin this moment!" Dad berkata "I wasn't going to!" I berkata "shhhh" as Dr. Murray zoomed in. Dr. Murray berkata "okay; it looks like it's a baby…… Boy!"
I jumped up and pointed my finger at dad. I berkata "I knew it was a boy! I told anda so!" Dad berkata "I was for sure it would be a girl!" Dr. Murray berkata as he packed up his stuff "now anda can start decorating and picking out names!" I berkata "it didn't really matter to me whether it was a boy atau girl! I was dying to know just so I could start picking out names!" Dad rolled his eyes and berkata "oh boy; this is going to be fun!" He walked Conrad Murray to the door and berkata "meet us at the Staples Center at 9 o'clock on Tuesday! Welcome to team Jackson!" Dr. Murray thanked dad as he shut the door behind him.
July 6, 2008,
My stomach has really started to tunjuk but; it's pretty easy to hide it under the baggy clothes I like to wear. Still no sign of Damien and he's really starting to make me mad I wish he would at least respond to my phone calls. He talks to his mom all the time but; won't tell her where he is.
There was a knock at the front door and I got off the sofa, kerusi panjang to answer it. I was surprised to see Kate Damien's mother standing there. I hugged her and called for my dad to come downstairs. He walked up to her and gave her a hug before he asked "what brings anda here?" She berkata "just because Damien doesn't want to be a dad doesn't mean I can't be a grandma! I found a cheap flight here from Las Vegas and was wondering if I could stay with anda guys for about a week?" Dad berkata "of course anda can! We have lots to fill anda in on!"
Dad brought snacks to the coffee meja, jadual in the living room and the three of us sat down to talk." Kate looked at my stomach and berkata "awww you're getting a baby bump!" I berkata "yeah I know; it's weird for me!" Dad and Kate both berkata "it's weird for us too!" I berkata as I looked at her "dad and I found out whether it's a boy atau a girl; did anda want to know?" She berkata "well; obviously!" Dad berkata "you're going to have a grandson." I smiled as her face lit up and I asked "what do anda want the baby to call you? Dad already decided he wants to be called Poppa." She berkata "I like just the traditional grandma." Dad berkata "being called grandpa would make me feel old! That's why I picked Poppa!" She chuckled and berkata "you look like lebih of a Poppa than anda would as grandpa!" I adjusted myself on the sofa, kerusi panjang and berkata "the baby's kicking." Kate placed her hand on my stomach and a tear rolled down her face. I hugged her and asked "what's wrong?" She composed herself and berkata "I want anda to know that I don't agree with the way Damien's Berlakon right now. I tried to convince him that he needs to come utama and help anda but; he just hangs up on me! I hope you'll allow me to be an active part of the baby's life!" I berkata baffled that she wouldn't think she would be able to be a part of her grandson's life "of course anda can! anda don't ever have to worry about that! I'll never stop anda from seeing him! I can definitely use the help after the baby is born!" She took a sigh of relief and berkata "I'm sorry that my son is so immature!" Dad berkata "you don't have to feel bad about that because it's not your fault! anda did your best and single mom and Damien didn't really have his father around as a good role model. Alanna asks me for help if she needs something; even if it's something crazy!" Kate laughed and asked "what crazy things has she had anda do?" Dad and I laughed and he berkata "she's had me go to just about every fast Makanan restaurant in Los Angeles! Most of the time she wakes me up at 1 AM to go get the food. That isn't the easiest thing to do when you're Michael Jackson!" I laughed and berkata "Kate; anda should of seen the look on his face when I asked him to rub my feet yesterday!" Dad berkata "don't get too used to it because once that baby's born I'm done with that!" I laughed and said" I might as well take advantage of anda while I can! I would be making Damien did the same thing if he were here!" Kate berkata "well; anda can ask me for help while I'm here so your dad can have a break!" Dad hugged her and berkata "finally; I won't tunjuk up to tour rehearsals tired, at least for a week." She asked eagerly "when is my grandson due?" Dad berkata "November 18." She berkata "I'm going to take off a few days before and after the baby is born so I can be here for the birth and to help out." I berkata "the three of us should go shopping and look at baby names together this week!" She clapped her hands with joy and berkata "it's been a while since I've been able to buy baby things; we're going to have so much fun this week!"
I'm glad that Kate is going to be supportive even though Damien isn't! That takes a lot of the weight off of dad's shoulders and I know that I will be able to ask her for Nasihat about things that dad wouldn't know about! I'm still really mad at Damien though because the baby isn't even born yet and he is already being selfish!
July 9, 2008,
Kate, dad, and I was sitting in the living room while Grace had taken my siblings to the movies. I opened up my laptop and berkata "we should look at baby names!" Dad opened up your computer and went on to a pregnancy website as well. Kate sat down seterusnya to me so she could see the names as I scrolled through a senarai of thousands. She pointed at one and I shook my head in disagreement. Dad berkata "you could name the baby –" and I interrupted sejak saying "I'm not naming him Prince Michael the third dad!" Kate berkata "please don't; it would be too confusing!" I berkata "you don't have to worry about me choosing Prince because I narrowed my choices down to two names. I'll choose one of them as his first name and the other one as his middle name. The two of anda can help me figure out which is which but; don't try to change my mind because I'm dead set on these names!" Kate asked "what names did anda pick?" I berkata "I picked out Carter and Shawn." Dad berkata "really? anda should pick a strong majestic African name! I like Rafiq!"
Kate and I both looked at each other and burst out laughing. I asked "what the heck kind of name is that?" Kate berkata "that sounds like a character in the lion King!" I berkata "he's not going to be able to spell that when he gets older! I don't want anything too weird atau something with like 20 letters in it!" Dad started laughing and Kate berkata "I personally like Shawn better as the first name but; it's up to anda AJ!" Dad berkata "I like Carter better!" I berkata "you guys don't make this any easier on me! Carter Shawn, atau Shawn Carter? What one do I like better?" I wrote both options down on a piece of paper and asked "which one looks better to anda guys. Kate grabbed the piece of paper from me and dad looked at it from over her shoulder. They both berkata in unison "Carter Shawn! Yeah; definitely Carter Shawn!" I berkata "good because that looks better to me too!" Dad kissed my stomach and berkata "hi little Carter Shawn! I can finally stop calling anda baby atau it!"
July 11, 2008,
Today is Kate's last stay here because she has to go back to work in two days. She was sitting in the living room with the family and berkata "there; I bought my tickets for November so; I can be here a few days before Carter is born and stay here a few days after his birth." I berkata "since today is your last hari here; you, dad, and I should go to Bayi R us!" Kate berkata as I put on my feathered mask" I'm so excited!" Dad berkata "I'm just letting anda know beforehand that the paparazzi can be a little annoying and whatever anda do don't respond to their questions! As far as I'm concerned; they can think that I'm shopping for someone else's baby! Word can't get out yet that AJ's pregnant because it will be complete disaster!" Kate nodded her head and berkata "don't worry; I won't say anything!"
As we got into dad's Rolls-Royce and he put the key in the ignition, Kate berkata "this car is amazing!" Dad berkata "thanks; it was definitely well worth the money I paid for it!" Kate berkata "I didn't know that anda can drive Michael!" He berkata "yeah I do drive myself places but; it's not very often when I'm able to!" I berkata "next year; anda have to teach me how to drive dad because I'll be old enough to get my drivers permit!" He berkata "yeah; don't remind me!"
When we got to the store, word had gotten out that we had moved back to Los Angeles and the paparazzi had crowded the entrance. We got out of the car and shoved our way through. Once the manager realized who my dad was, he got everyone else to leave the store so none of us would have peminat-peminat coming up and interrupting us!
As they walked down the aisles, Kate asked "is it this crazy every time anda guys go out?" I berkata "every single time! That's why us kids wear masks in public that way; when were not with dad we don't have to wear them and we can live as normal a life as possible." She berkata "I never looked at it that way; that's a really smart idea!" Dad berkata "there's always a method to my madness that people don't understand! The paparazzi just jump to conclusions and say whatever they want about me. Most of the time, what they say is just downright mean; especially when they say things like wacko Jacko! atau they call the children socially deprived because of my life!" Kate berkata "well; I don't believe any of that crap!"
I looked at one of the shelves and berkata "there's baby wipe warming machines; really?" Kate chuckled as she put it in the cart, troli and berkata "well yeah; anda don't want the baby to freeze!" Dad laughed and berkata "that brings back memories from when anda were little AJ!" I picked out a furniture set and then we went over to pick out a car seat. I stood there with Kate and dad and we must've looked at 50 different styles. I berkata "I didn't know that picking out a car kerusi, tempat duduk would be this hard; each one is adorable!" Dad berkata "there's a red and black one over there inside the matching stroller!" The saat I saw it I berkata "this is the one!"
After we gave the store the shipping address for all the big items, we went outside into the ambush of paparazzi waiting for us. They shouted "how's your health Michael? When did anda alih back to LA? Will your brother's be part of the new tour? Who are anda shopping for? Who is this woman? Is she your new wife? Is she your girlfriend? Are anda having another child Michael?"
Dad gently guided me into the back kerusi, tempat duduk while Kate sat in the passenger seat. We quickly sped off and Kate berkata "Michael; I can't believe they just assume that I'm either your girlfriend atau your wife!" Dad laughed and berkata "anytime I go out in public with a female they ask that! It could be a 90-year-old woman for God's sake and I'll see the tajuk of a magazine say 'wacko Jacko is getting married to the wrinkly woman of his dreams!" We all burst out laughing and I berkata "we all just learn to laugh at it because we can't really do much about it!" She berkata "I've had so much fun with anda guys! It sucks that I have to leave tomorrow and at 9 AM!" Dad berkata "I don't want anda to leave either because we all had fun with you! Most of all though; it means that I'm going to have to get up in the middle of the night again!" I berkata "I'm going to miss the weird conversations anda and I had at midnight while we ate the fast Makanan anda picked up!" Kate berkata "don't forget that I'll be back when you're still pregnant, a couple of days before anda have Carter so it isn't the last fast Makanan conversation the two of us have!" I hugged her and we drove back to the house.
October 2, 2008
Dad came into my room and sat down seterusnya to me. He berkata "only one lebih bulan left until little Carter Shawn it here!" I berkata "I'm so done being pregnant; everything hurts!" He berkata "I wish we could find somebody to paint a mural to go along with the nursery side of your bedroom!" I berkata as I smiled "I think I know a guy!" He berkata "you should call him because we have to paint the nursery today!"
3 hours later there was a knock at the front door and I heard a whole bunch of feet shuffle up the stairs. Dad opened my bedroom door and berkata "AJ; your Friends are here!" Colton, Sketch, and Brandon stood in front of me and we gave each other fist bumps. I asked "dad is it okay to use spray paint on the walls?" Dad berkata "yeah but; anda can't be around it until the room airs out from the smell because anda are pregnant." I berkata okay; these are my Friends that I was telling anda about, Brandon Colton, and Sketch." Dad looked at me puzzled as we left the room and asked "why do they call him Sketch?" I put my hand on his shoulder and berkata "you'll see!"
Over five hours later, the guys came downstairs and berkata "it doesn't smell like spray paint anymore and we're done the mural so; anda can check it out!" We all went back upstairs and I slowly turned the doorknob to my room. Dad and I stood there staring at the one dinding in my bedroom with giant graffiti letters that say 'Carter ‘in all different shades of blue. Dad berkata "this is amazing! anda guys are really talented artists! Now I can see why they call anda Sketch!" Brandon smiled and berkata as he fist bumped me "no problem; it's the least we could do! We're really sorry that Damien is being such a jerk! Every time he gets on his MySpace page, we tell him that he needs to get his butt here to LA and be with you! Oh and sejak the way; thanks for paying for our flight down here Mr. Jackson!" Dad berkata "of course and now that I see that anda guys are nothing like Damien is, anda can hang out with AJ lebih often! Probably not a lot now because her first priority is being a mother but; every now and then is fine!"
November 16, 2008,
I was sitting on the sofa, kerusi panjang when the doorbell rang. I yelled "dad; I think Kate is here!" He opened the door and berkata "it's so nice to see anda again!" She ran into the living room to see me and berkata "hi AJ!" I berkata "hi; I would get up to hug anda but; I'm stuck!" All three of us started laughing and Kate sat down so I could hug her. She berkata "you look exhausted!" I rubbed my eyes and berkata "I am; I just want him out now!" Dad berkata "I don't think you'll be saying that when he is ready to come out!" Kate chuckled and asked "did anda set up all the nursery stuff we bought in your bedroom?" Dad berkata "I'm sure you've heard from the guys that Damien and AJ hang out with that they painted the mural on the bedroom wall." Kate berkata "they still haven't stopped talking about it! They were like 'dude; Michael Jackson's house is huge! We've never legally spray-painted anything before! He paid us $500 each for that one mural! He seems like such an awesome dad; AJ is so lucky!'" Dad berkata "we wanted to wait until anda came to set up the furniture because anda helped us pick everything out." She berkata "well; come on! I want to go see the mural too!" I asked "okay but; one of anda needs to help me up because I wasn't exaggerating when I berkata I was stuck!" The two of them laughed as they helped a very pregnant me off of the couch.
The three of us made our way upstairs as I grabbed onto dad for support. I opened my bedroom door and Kate was shocked sejak the state of my room. She berkata "the mural looks amazing but; there are clothes everywhere! Not to mention all the video games cases all over the floor!" Dad berkata "I was planning on cleaning up in here a few hours before AJ comes back from the hospital." She berkata "that's fine; I'll clean it! Just promise me that anda won't let your room get like this again after the baby is born!" Dad berkata "I'll make sure that she doesn't let it get like this again because I won't stand for it with a baby around!" She took a sigh of relief and berkata "that's good!"
As she picked up things in my room she noticed the dinding opposite of the one with the mural on it. Almost 100 posters of Jesse McCartney were taped up there and dad berkata "oh; I see you've discovered Alanna's secret infatuation with J – Mac!" I berkata "dad; I can call him that but; it's creepy when anda do!" sejak the way Kate; I don't have an obsession with Jesse McCartney; no matter what my dad says!" She berkata as she pointed at the dinding "you can't tell me that anda don't have an obsession with him with a dinding like this! You're lucky that Damien can't see this because he would probably rip them all down! He hates the boy band type singers! He ripped all of his sisters Jonas Brothers posters down because I think he's jealous that they have girls falling all over them!" Dad chuckled and berkata "alright; enough about Jesse McCartney! We've got some decorating to do!"
November 18, 2008,
We were all sitting at the dapur meja, jadual when I got up and dad asked nervously "where are anda going?" I berkata "calm down dad! I'm just going to the bathroom! When the baby is coming; you'll be the first to know!" Kate rolled her eyes and berkata "oh my gosh Michael; AJ and I weren't nervous at all but; you're making us nervous! The last thing we need it for AJ to be nervous!"
I whispered from down the hall "Kate; come here!" She walked over secretively and saw that I was standing in a bloody puddle. She berkata "your dad's going to freak out!" She walked out back into the dapur and dad asked "where's AJ?" She calmly responded "her water just broke." Dad stared at her in shock for a few saat and berkata "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, WE'VE GOT TO GO NOW!!!" Kate berkata "if you're like this Michael; anda going to stress her out! anda need to stay calm!" He took a deep breath and berkata "you're right! We really do need to leave though!" I berkata "can we talk about this another time!"
Dad and Kate walked me out to the car and helped me into the back seat. Kate got into the driver’s kerusi, tempat duduk and started the car as dad sat down seterusnya to me. Dad berkata "it takes 15 minit to get to the hospital! Are anda in any pain yet?" I berkata "a little bit so far." He held out his hand and I berkata "no; I don't have to hold your hand; it doesn't hurt that bad!" Dad berkata "trust me; you're going to want to hold my hand!" I berkata "I'm fine dad!"
We pulled up in front of the hospital and dad was surprised with how calm I was. We got out of the car and walked inside. Kate walked up to the front meja and berkata "we have someone whose water just broke!" The staff brought a wheelchair out to me and we slowly started to go down to our hospital room all the way at the end of the long hall. When we were halfway there dad and Kate noticed the spontaneous change in me. Dad asked "are anda okay Alanna?" I put my hand over my forehead and berkata "I think I'm feeling it now!" Kate berkata "we're almost there; just a few feet away." I can say now that that walk down the hall seemed like it took hours!
I slowly moved from the wheelchair I was in and into the hospital bed. Dad asked "is the doctor coming?" Kate berkata "yeah; I can hear footsteps." A female doctor came into the room and berkata "I've heard that we have a baby on the way in here." Dad shook hands with her and berkata "nice to meet anda Dr. Benson" as he read her name tag. She looked at me and asked "how are anda feeling?" I berkata "it's slowly getting lebih intense sejak the minute. It's not excruciating yet though!" She berkata "that's good! Let's see if you're really ready to have this baby!"
After examining me, she berkata "you're not ready yet! I'll be back in about 15 minit to check again." She left the room and I asked as I looked up at Kate who was sitting beside my hospital katil "how long is it going to be before I can start pushing?" She berkata "who knows; it could be minit atau it could be hours." I berkata "hours!" Dad kissed my forehead and he could tell that the pain was getting increasingly worse but; I was being my usual stubborn self and wasn't going to tunjuk my discomfort easily!
15 minit later, Dr. Benson came back into the room and berkata "it seems to me like you're ready now!" I berkata "thank God" and dad berkata "the pushing is the painful part!" At this point, I was already sweating and trying my best to hide my tears. I asked "you mean to tell me that it's going to be lebih painful than it already is right now?" Kate berkata "so much worse! Like the worst pressure you've ever felt in your life!" Dr. Benson asked "would anda like to have the epidural atau natural childbirth?" I asked confused "what's an epidural?" She responded "it's a needle full of medicine that numbs everything so anda can't feel any pain." I berkata "no I don't need that; I'm doing it naturally!" Dad berkata "AJ; I suggest anda use the epidural; I know how anda are and anda don't want to use it because anda want to be tough!" Kate berkata "I've done it once naturally and once with the epidural and I agree with your dad completely! I really think anda need to just go along with what we are suggesting! anda have to remember that your only 14 and I'm telling anda that anda are going to be in some serious pain if anda don't choose to go with the epidural; I'm just letting anda know!" I berkata as I looked up at Dr. Benson "no; I want to do this naturally." She asked "are anda 100% sure because once anda start pushing there is no changing your mind?" I berkata "yeah; I'm sure!" Dad and Kate looked at each other worried and dad sat in the chair seterusnya to her.
A few minit later, Dr. Benson berkata "okay; push as hard as anda possibly can for as long as anda can!" What I felt with that very first push I couldn't possibly explain to you; I guess I guess I could compare it to someone slowly ripping the skin off your body! Not to mention the tremendous pressure that Kate had warned me about. Dr. Benson berkata "okay push again!" I started crying as I attempted again and the seterusnya thing I knew dad had grabbed my hand! I berkata "I told anda I didn't need to hold your hand dad!" He berkata "stop being so stubborn and push AJ!"
While I pushed for the third time I must've practically crushed dad's hand with how hard I was holding it! sejak the fourth time, I berkata "I WANT HIM OUT NOW! I'm going to kill Damien for putting me through this!" Dr. Benson berkata "I can see a head! It should only take about one lebih BIG push to get him out! Kate switched places with dad so he could help Dr. Benson guide the baby out and suddenly I finally felt the relief I had been searching for!
saat later, I heard my son cry for the first time and dad came over to me with tears in his eyes. He kissed the bahagian, atas of my head and berkata "you did it; he's here!" I started crying uncontrollably and berkata "I want to see Carter!" Kate walked over to where the nurses were evaluating him and berkata "he's beautiful AJ!” One of the nurses shouted "AJ; he weighs 7 pounds exactly." Dad went over to look at his grandson and I asked "will anda bring him over here to me now?"
Dad walked over to me with a bundle of blue blankets in his arms and berkata "here's Carter; don't forget to support his head!" That was the first time I saw my son and he was even cuter than I had imagined. Kate stroked his head while he was still in my arms and I passed him to her and she berkata "hi Carter; I'm your grandma!" I berkata while growing impatient "I want him back now!" Dr. Benson berkata "he seems pretty healthy so; instead of going for further evaluation, anda can keep him in here with anda guys! A nurse will come in and help anda finalize his birth certificate in about two hours!" Dad berkata "thank anda for everything Dr. Benson!" She berkata "no problem; this is why I Cinta my job!"
I passed Carter to dad and looked out the window that was seterusnya to me. I looked down at the parking lot and berkata "I think anda guys are going to want to see what I can see from over here!" Kate and dad got up and looked out the window. Dad asked "is that Damien? It is!" Kate berkata "he must've used my credit card to buy a plane ticket out here!” I bit my lip angrily and berkata "now after all this time he shows up!" Dad berkata as he grinded his teeth "I'm sorry about this Kate but; I'm about to go down there into the parking lot and kick your son's ass!!!" She berkata "go right ahead! I think I might sertai you! I'm seething with anger right now!" I berkata "whatever anda do don't let him come up here because I'll bash his head in! Yes I'm aware that I just had a baby but; at this point I don't care how exhausted I am he deserves it!" Dad berkata as he ran out of the room with Kate "don't worry; he won't want to after I'm done with him!” Forgetting that he had Carter in his arms, he quickly ran back into the room and passed him back to me!
As I saw the two of them storm to where Damien was; I decided to open the window so I could hear what was going on. Dad looked at Damien and asked "what do anda think you're doing here?" Damien berkata "I'm here to see my son!" Kate berkata "you're about nine months too late for that!" Damien berkata "I'm going to see my son!" Dad pushed Damien seeming to want to instigate a fight and berkata "no you're not!" Damien asked "you want to go? I'm not scared of anda Michael!" I berkata under my breath "well; anda should be!"
The two of them put their fists up and started to punch the air around the others face!" Dad berkata "come on and punch me then!!!" Damien swung his fist in the air but missed! I couldn't help but laugh and dad berkata "let me tunjuk anda how it's done jerk face!" I'm not exaggerating when I say that I could hear dad's fist make contact with Damien's face. Damien fell to the ground and Kate berkata "don't come back here! If anda think it's cool to run off like that then don't bother coming back to the house when anda go back to Vegas either! I'm canceling my credit cards and anda can have fun trying to make it on your own in the real world! Don't come crawling back to me when anda can't do it anymore! Until anda get your priorities straight and apologize to AJ; who I'd like to remind anda is the mother of your son… Just don't come back until anda grow a pair and own up to the stupid choices anda have made!" Damien stumbled off looking like he had sprained his ankle when he fell to the ground!
Dad and Kate came back upstairs to our room and I berkata "wow Kate; I didn't know that anda had that you!" Dad asked "was it just me atau did anda smell alcohol on Damien's breath too?" She berkata "I could too; I'm used to it though! He's been drinking since last year!" I shook my head in disbelief and dad smiled as he berkata "I can't believe I gave him a black eye! I don't think he will come back unless he grows up!" I berkata "if it doesn't bother anda Kate; I'd prefer to have Carter's last name be Jackson instead of Hayes because I don't think Damien deserves the right to have the same last name as his son! If he can prove to me that he does then I will have it legally changed!" She berkata "of course and I agree with you." I berkata "I can't wait to bring my little Carter Shawn Jackson utama tomorrow so he can me everyone!"
November 19, 2008,
We were just arriving back to the house after leaving the hospital when I could see Blanket running excitedly down the driveway. I opened the car door and he berkata "I want to see Carter!" I berkata while whispering "you can see him when we get inside but; anda have to calm down and be quiet because he’s sleeping!" Dad and Kate walked inside behind me while I carried Carter in his car seat.
As I picked Carter up out of his car kerusi, tempat duduk he started to cry. I was freaked out sejak this because I don't really know how to figure out what he needs yet. Dad came over and took him from me. I berkata "I don't know what he needs!" Dad asked as his eyes widened "well; are anda ready to learn how to change a diaper?" I berkata "I might as well learn how to now!" Dad berkata "I'll talk anda through it!"
Kate put a blanket down on the sofa, kerusi panjang and I laid Carter on it. Dad berkata "you don't have to clean him up with the wipes for 15 minit AJ; oh my gosh!" I berkata "I just want to make sure I'm doing it right dad! Would anda rather I not be so meticulous about it?" He berkata "I like that anda want to be thorough but; you've got to go a little bit faster atau he might –! I asked "he might what?" Dad and Kate looked down and berkata "do that!" I looked to see what they were talking about and jumped up. I berkata "ewww anda didn't tell me that he would pee on me!" Dad berkata while laughing along with Kate "we tried to but anda wouldn't listen!" I shouted all the way from the bathroom where I made an attempt to save my baju "that's so disgusting; it's not funny anda guys!" Kate berkata "just so anda know; everything about Bayi and toddlers is disgusting; something is always going everywhere atau all over you… Welcome to motherhood AJ!" Dad berkata "he only got a little bit on you! Just wait till it's 2 in the morning one of these times and anda have to take a pancuran, pancuran mandian because of that!"
(awww i'm sad, the chapter after this one is the last one with Michael alive)
