After a tahun and almost five months, it's still a bit on the difficult side to admit to my hati, tengah-tengah that Michael is no longer here physically. I never had the chance to tell that I honestly loved him when he was here and I completely regret it. I kept my Cinta for him locked inside my heart, I never let it out. I wish I did, I utterly wish I did. There is so much I wish I had told everyone who walked in my direction, let the words flow. But I was afraid... afraid of what they'd say. I'm not saying this in the way that I was embarrassed to like Michael. I'm saying this in the way that the ones who threw stones (despised Michael)... well I didn't want to get stones thrown at me and watch stones thrown at Michael. I didn't listen to his Muzik as much as I wanted... I was soaked up sejak what my parents wanted me to listen to - country Muzik (Don't get me wrong, I adore country music!). I also feel I wronged Michael. My insecurity when I was younger overcame me and I wanted to feel better about myself. I berkata something wrong about Michael a couple of times, "He's scary! I'm going to have a nightmare!" I hate myself for saying this, especially when I never meant it. It's just that I had gotten teased so much when I was younger, about my nose, about hair, and about my stomach. I know this isn't an excuse, but it's true. I insulted myself when I completely figured out what I had berkata about Michael was disgusting. He was human, his hati, tengah-tengah bled so easily, he had feelings, and I wasn't mature enough to exactly realize that. But I still loved him, and I do now.
Fancy's P.O.V.
At last, I was at home, where I belonged. My mother was supposed to come utama today, but she called and berkata that her trip was postponed and she had to stay in New York City until seterusnya Tuesday. She berkata she'd hated that she couldn't see us, it had been at least a year, though she still loved us. Being with my aunt isn't really exciting, she ignores us until there's a big modeling gig we have to do. I was scrunched up on the couch, under my fluffy blue blanket, watching the Brady Bunch. Felicity was on a tarikh with her new boyfriend, and my aunt was out shopping with her girly snobby friends, so I was alone. Nothing special about today, just glad to be at home.
* I might end this story, because of lack of ideas, I'll pull through. I also might take a longer time to update since I'm starting school soon. *
At last, I was at home, where I belonged. My mother was supposed to come utama today, but she called and berkata that her trip was postponed and she had to stay in New York City until seterusnya Tuesday. She berkata she'd hated that she couldn't see us, it had been at least a year, though she still loved us. Being with my aunt isn't really exciting, she ignores us until there's a big modeling gig we have to do. I was scrunched up on the couch, under my fluffy blue blanket, watching the Brady Bunch. Felicity was on a tarikh with her new boyfriend, and my aunt was out shopping with her girly snobby friends, so I was alone. Nothing special about today, just glad to be at home.
* I might end this story, because of lack of ideas, I'll pull through. I also might take a longer time to update since I'm starting school soon. *