Pain...Regret...Doubt...

A bulan has passed since Heave Ho has been charged in the hospital with having a coma after that certain incident,and i grieved in all those times. Its actually suitable for the likes of the kuda, kuda kecil who risked the life of his own dear brother,and now he has not even woken up yet. So to atone,i gave up on my ridiculous fantasy,after all,it was for the best. Besides,it is completely impossible for a mere earthpony like me to get up in the sky realm on my own,it was simply delusional. All those ponies were right,this stupidity is as unreachable as the sky is for me,and that i have been wasting my time on this charade.

I left my my office of plans and whatnot to dust and grabbed myself a job to be a shelving assistant in the local perpustakaan here in Ponyville. So on,the days dragged on like that: going to work,getting off work-its just the same,some of the residents even told me that my eyes looked lifeless,and to make it worse,they even berkata that i would sometimes unconsciously go on about flight...no...i need to stop this nonsense,for my family,for my Friends and also for me.

Why did it have to start? In the first place,i should have never have thought of this...Why did fate have to play with us?...Those were the thoughts i have each and every single day,yet i could not bring myself to hate it completely,how foolish. But enough of that gibberish,let go back to reality,right now,i am sitting beside my bedridden brother,still hoping that he would wake up anytime soon...but then...

Groan...

Huh? It Couldn't be! I could tell that my eyes widened as I instantly took at a look at the kuda, kuda kecil resting on the katil beside me to be...awake!

"Heave! You're awake!" I said,shocked and relief coursing through my very being

"...Brother...Where am I...?" he whispered,looking through the room

"You are in the Hospital...you have been in a coma for bulan and a half...because of me dragging anda into my nonsense...Im sorry..." My voice was faltering with each word,lowering my head down

"No brother,your dream is fantastic...you know what i've been dreaming this whole time? flying...and it was a great experience i tell you!"

"But seeing other people getting hurt because of that stupidity is not...i gave up on that foolishness just as everypony has been telling me all along,its for the best,i dont want to cause pain."

"But brother,i can clearly see that anda are the one in pain,i mean,the only other time i saw anda like this is when mother...got up to the heavens..."

"No...its better this way,im not taking anymore risks,besides,i was the one who decided on this...i...i need to go,i still have a job to attend to,i'll tell father that anda have awoken...bye"

I got my saddlebags and got out of that room and as i passed through the white busy hallways and seeing my father in front of the reception table,i swiftly explained to him of Heave's awakening,and left for work. After this,i am definitely going to get rid of those that remind me of that,i simply can not have myself reverting to the childish kuda, kuda kecil that i was!
~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

After hours of shelving countless books,i've finally brought myself to my old office filled with those things. Taking a deep breath,i took my failures and threw them down the basement...Why the basement and not the trash? Because even with all the time i had,i was still weak to not do so. With that,I threw every single piece i could find,but somehow i found myself tearing up a bit...dangit...i kept on going until,i heard something fell and so,i went to investigate.

I found that it was my old toy,a wooden kuda, kuda kecil figure that my mom had telah diberi me before she died,i felt really nostalgic at the sight...but as i looked at it,i saw something different,it had a yellowish and red paper scarf around his neck. Taking it off and crumbling it up into a sheet,i found myself tearing up yet again. It was from my mother,and it was just before her illness became lebih severe,as it says:

"Dear Family,

I am so sorry i never told anda about my disease...but as anda all know,Cancer does not have any form of cure,even with magic...that is why,i didn't really bother,i dont want to cause anda any trouble going over an old geezer like me...But i want anda to know that i will always Cinta and watch over you,and that i am proud of my two boys.

Rough Stone,you have been an absolutely great husband,you have been there in my times of need,the happy and sad times. anda always did your best to support this family and i am eternally grateful for that.

Heave,you have been such a strong,caring child...I know that someday anda will be able to have your own family that anda can Cinta and protect,and i know that i'll have a grandchild that is just like you.

...and lastly Wondergist, i just knew that name was perfect for you. I just want anda to know that your dream-even though other ponies do not see it- is not ridiculous,but in fact,it is the opposite...i am glad anda have thought of such a grand dream,and i know that anda will be able to tunjuk them that they are wrong for their judgement,i believe in you,son...Make all of us proud.

Love,
Mother"

I could swear that i was having full on tears right now with mother's words,and even lebih so because of the blood stain at the bottom. She was an amazing mother,even if she was only with us for a while,i could definitely feel her Cinta and care. Mother...i will not fail you! You'll see,I'll make anda proud! Ladies and Gentlemen...Wondergist is back!

To be Continued...