Tom went to a nearby najis to grab a zip of water.

Crowd: Turn around!
Tom: *Looks at the ponies behind him*
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Have I been ignoring your section?
Crowd: Yeah!
Tom: Well I'm sorry. I'll make a note of that in my rulebook of comedy. I usually don't care for following rules sejak the way.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Many of them just seem pointless, and vague. Like the social distance craze that didn't last very long last year. For a good reason.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: First off, what the fuck is so social about it?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Hi Jerry. Stay 6 feet away atau I'll punch anda in the eye!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And there's thousands of ponies that agree with me on this one. Speed limits.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: The Germans know this. That's why on one of their highways called the Autobahn, there is no speed limit.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: A lot of rules in Monopoly piss me off as well.
Crowd: *Clapping, and cheering*
Tom: One of my Friends got accused of cheating sejak robbing the bank, but he berkata he wanted to make it feel lebih like real life.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But there were many rules that didn't make sense when I was growing up as a little colt.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: We all had to go through this, unless you're that one naughty 9 tahun old who mencuri this program from your parents, atau older sibling without their knowledge and are therefore watching this even though anda shouldn't.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Have to keep everyone alert from time to time.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But all of us adults had to go through this procedure during our childhood.

Tom took another quick zip of water, then continued his joke.

Tom: Now not all of these rules were bad, like running with the scissors.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: That was one I always obeyed. What are anda doing?! I'm not running with the scissors.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Mom didn't want me poking my eye out. My dad always berkata don't stick your head out of the window. He didn't want me getting decapitated while we drove around town in the Jeep.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: But many of the rules my parents came up with I thought were bad. The first one was, no Singing at the table.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Why? Because I berkata so.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was the first sign of a bad rule. Because I berkata so. So what happened? One pilgrim hundreds of years lalu ruined it for everyone because his voice constantly cracked?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: anda can still sing while standing near the table. anda just can't sit there.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Sings* I'm standing sejak the table. Singing sejak the table. I'm not sitting, because I can't sing.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: *Impersonates the dad* Sit down you!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was your middle name, you.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Tom anda Foolery. Kinda has a nice ring to it. It would make lebih sense though if my last name was shortened to fool.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Then whenever I did something that angered my parents they would shout Tom anda fool!
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Sometimes if I did something they considered dangerous they always berkata the same thing over and over again. anda could have broken your neck!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That was always the anticipated outcome, a broken neck. What if I jumped down the stairs, atau out of a window?
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: They never said, anda could have broken your legs!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: It was always a broken neck. What if I was playing with the electrical outlets?
Crowd: *Laughing, and cheering*
Tom: That was another stupid rule because your hooves are not small enough to fit inside the outlets. Therefore anda don't need to worry about getting electrocuted.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But those parents. They always say, don't plug anything into the outlet!
Crowd: *Clapping*
Tom: Of course if anda do break one of their rules, they'll also say go to your room! They make that sound like a bad thing, but that's where all your stuff is.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Go to your room! Thanks mom. I'm gonna play some Nintendo.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: That's the one thing that sucks about being a child, anda have many rules anda need to follow, and nobody takes anda seriously since you're smaller than them.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But as anda get older, and taller, anda have lebih freedom, a couple of responsibilities, and the only downside to this is the higher risk of being thrown in jail if anda do anything illegal.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: But it gets even better when your age continues to increase, because anda can start doing things that anda weren't able to do after anda passed the age of 5.
Crowd: Oh boy.
Tom: Ahhh.... I can finally shit my pants again.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: Most of us don't even wear pants, which makes it even lebih fun for the others anda encounter out in public.
Crowd: *Cheering, and clapping*
Tom: And for those of anda that complain about sleep, you'll be able to take lebih naps.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: You'll get a solid 10 hours of pure bliss. Maybe even longer. Another thing anda can start doing again is forgetting stuff.
Crowd: *Laughing, and clapping*
Tom: anda won't have to remember a god damn thing ever again!
Crowd: *Cheering*

2 B Continued