When I was born, I was telah diberi a choice - A big dick atau a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose.

Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

A wife is a sex object. Every time anda ask for sex, she objects.

Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings...'

There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together.

Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but seterusnya to the best thing on earth.

There are three stages of sex in a man's life: Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

Virginity can be cured.

Virginity is...

So this tahun happens to be over in 11 hours and 32 minutes. And because of that I thought I could write a little something about each one of anda :]

Nate
The king. The king of randomness to be honest. He's just awesome and I have no idea what I (and the other pinjas) would have done without him. He must be some sort of a saint. He got the Leytoners and the Brucasers to become Friends after such a long time fighting. That I respect him for. Also his pervert-ness is not to be wrong of. Even though it's kind of creepy, it's hilarious. Him and Tool together.. No needs to say lebih :] Nate. You're an...

CHAPTER TWO.

Cherry ceri, cherry boom boom
Mary: HANNAH! COME HERE NOW!
H: What the HELL?
Mary: Did anda buy Ais Krim again? anda know I hate it.
H: First off, its taste is MANGO. Epic.
Mary: Yeah right.
H: And secondly, anda are a complete retard for not liking Ais Krim so shut up.
Mary: But there’s no room in the fridge for my vegetables.
DING DONG. Hannah runs to open, glad that she was saved from the “fight”.
Cat: hei my girl.
H: hei Kitty.
Mary: Who is it?
H: It’s Cat. She brought us some ice-cream.
Mary: anda have got to be kidding me. Mangos and Ais Krim are FORBIDDEN in here.
G: WHY ARE YOU...

Happy sweet sixteen my Ballah!:D
You better have a terrific day, and an amazing tahun ahead of you, cause anda deserve it!♥

Hannah! anda have this unique, amazing, incredible and loveable personality which anda just can't miss! anda make the room (forum) look at anda when anda step in, and anda somehow make me smile even though i'm having a real shitty day! And I don't think I have to tell anda about your world known (fanpop-known) cheating skils! PCBR (pathetic cheating Bayi rules) says it all!;P
You will always be my teacher/master/mentor (you choose), and I always enjoy cheating with you! Cheating...

Tis is BS -_-

To My Dearest Wife,

During the past year, I have attempted to make Cinta to anda 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a senarai of why I didn't succeed lebih often:

We will wake the kids - 54 times

It's too late - 15 times

I'm too tired - 42 times

It's too early - 12 times

It's too hot - 18 times

Pretending to be asleep - 31 times

The neighbors will hear - 9 times

Headache atau backache - 26 times

Sunburn - 10 times

Your mother will hear us - 9 times

Not in the mood - 21 times

Watching the late tunjuk - 17 times

Too sore - 26 times

New hairdo...

Just goes to tunjuk how differently men and women look at things...

HER DIARY

Saturday night I thought he was Berlakon weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my Friends all hari long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment. Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was wrong he berkata nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset. He berkata it had nothing to do with me and not to worry. On the way utama I...

Oh God. I’m so not good at these things..I wish I could make something lebih artistic and fabulous like a video atau an art but S got all the twin-talent and I’m stuck with the beauty. LOL
Duggy, I had not idea what to make anda so I decided to do what I know best ..Make anda laugh. Enjoy.

Bitch I’m the bomb like tick tick
Janni: Can anda please calm down? We’ll find the fucking shirt!
G:But NO! It’s my most favouritest shirt!
Janni: It’s not even pretty! *eyeroll*
G:Are anda kidding? It’s the glitter and the merah jambu dots and the red buttons and ….
Janni runs out of the room, sick of her friend...

Now I know I haven't been on Fanpop as much lately as I used to be therefore Nate and I haven't talked as much as we used to. But I still feel like I should say something because he's been my closest friend on Fanpop since I met him, and I can actually remember the hari I met him which is interesting since i have a hard time remembering anything. We all Cinta Nate, after all he is the reason we're all as close as we are so I thought I'd share some of the reasons why. Now I might sound like i'm rambling, but I can't help it, i feel terrible and i wish there was something i could do.

My two favorite...

Sooo I am Gabeeb's SS! so im horrible at arts and vids, and mostly even one has been posting that so i decided to switch mine up a bit with a Letterish thingie! so here goes hope anda like it! Happy Krismas Gabeeb♥


Dear Gabeeb,

Your awesome. okay first off i have to admit that when i first meet anda i didn't like you, as mean as that is anda can't really blame me i was like an insane newbie, and it was back in the days of the whole lp peminat-peminat vs. bl peminat-peminat HAVE TO HATE EACH OTHER thing. Anyways i know we didn't get along then! BUT i can't put in words how happy i am that we were finally friends...

Usually around 4 o’clock in the morning, with my emotions completely out of a whack and my total lack of sleep, I start to feel…appreciative and thankful

And the words seem the just flow, maybe sometimes it doesn’t make sense, but my thoughts just pour out and I have to get it on paper atau in this case I have to type it up

…this time I thought I’d just completely forget about it but now here I am 2 hours later typing how I feel about the pinjas and how they oddly enough changed my life, so that is one reason for me to be thankful for fanpop, even though it screws us over a lot.

Back when...

I hate doing these since they have nothing to do with the spot, but after a bulan of being AWOL I figured I pretty much had no choice.

So, here it goes.

Dear Friends (and people who aren't my friends, please anda creepy stalkers GTFO nobody likes anda and this is serious and emotional and its already embarassing enough already so stop making it worse serioously anda freaks),
Sorry I've been gone for like ever.
Truth be told, I've been having some serious friend and family issues, and I have to be honest with you; I never really felt like coming on to talk to anybody.
I'd come on every once and a while...

There are two hard things in the world (and sejak world, I mean fanpop, but it’s all the same really).
The first one it’s to get rid of cheaters and stalkers.
And the saat one is to fit all of S’s awesomeness in just one article.

But like we got rid of SBF (byee, we do NOT miss you), we managed to do the other thing too. ;D
[PS: Good luck at Membaca all of this! LMAO]


-----
The first time I talked with S, was when she made a link asking the LP peminat-peminat which peminat would they choose to plan the Leyton wedding and she added me. =] She was the first person EVER to add me on a pick, I swear it was as...

Yo momma so fat, scientists have declared her keldai to be the 10th planet.

Yo momma's so stupid, she got hit sejak a parked car.

Your momma's so poor she can't even pay attention!

Your mamma is so fat she's on both sides of the family.

Your mamma is so fat when we were having sex I rolled over 9 times and I was still on the BITCH!!!!!

Yo momma so ugly your Grandma threw her on the jalan and was charged for littering.

Yo momma so fat the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale!

Yo momma so ugly, she walked into taco loceng and everyone ran for the border.

Yo momma is like a toilet; fat, white, and smells...

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

After any salary raise, anda will have less money at the end of the bulan than anda did before.

Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

Don't be irreplaceable, if anda can't be replaced, anda can't be promoted.

Eat one live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to anda the rest of the day.

Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."

Following the...

The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.

If anda smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minit of it.

If ignorance is bliss, anda must be orgasmic.

Good girls get fat, bad girls get eaten.

We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. anda Will Be Assimilated.

Born free... taxed to death.

The lebih people I meet, the lebih I like my dog.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A cat almost always blinks when hit in the head with a ball peen hammer.

There's...

Some great tips on Cinta and relationships sejak kids between the age of 5 and 10...

----

WHAT IS THE PROPER AGE TO GET MARRIED?

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me awife." (Tom, 5)

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a saat date." (Mike, 9)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO Ciuman SOMEONE?

"You should never Ciuman a girl unless anda have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she'll want to have video of the wedding." (Jim, 10)

CONCERNING WHY Cinta HAPPENS BETWEEN TWO PARTICULAR...

Q. Do I have to be married to have selamat, peti deposit keselamatan fax?
A. Although married people fax often, there are many single people who fax complete strangers every day.

Q. How do I go about faxing a complete stranger?
A. Just ask them if they want to fax. If they do, they will give anda their phone number.

Q. My parents say they never had fax when they were young, and were only allowed to write memo's to each other until they were 21. How old do anda think someone should be before they can fax?
A. Faxing can be performed at any age once anda learn the correct procedure.

Q. If I fax something to myself will I go blind?...

I KNOW HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATIONS: I'm usually on Prozac. When I'm not, I take lots of cigarette and coffee breaks.

I SEEK A JOB THAT WILL DRAW UPON MY STRONG COMMUNICATION & ORGANIZATIONAL SKILLS: I talk too much and like to tell other people what to do.

I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION: I've used Microsoft Office.

I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE: I pilfer office supplies.

MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES: I hope anda don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.

I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK: I blame others for my mistakes.

I'M BALANCED AND CENTERED:...

The Direct Approach

Description: anda just say it.

Examples -
1. "I got my period today." (The simple version)
2. "I got my period today so we can't have sex tonight." (The "let there be no doubt" version)
3. "Honey, I'm bleeding." (The gross version)

Benefits: Fast, simple, gets the message across. Amusing results can be achieved when the timing is right. Such as when you're in a public place atau eating dinner. lebih amusing results can be achieved when you're eating makan malam, majlis makan malam with his parents. The best results, of course, will be achieved when you're eating makan malam, majlis makan malam with his parents in a public place....