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bahagian, atas 17 Signs Your Airline Attendant is About Ready to Retire

17. Always grumbling about how things were much simpler when Orville and Wilbur ran the business.

16. For dinner, asks, "Ya want the white crap atau the yellow crap?"

15. When pointing to the emergency exits, uses nothin' but her middle finger.

14. Occasionally tries to prop-start a 747.

13. Insists on menunjukkan anda pictures of her prom tarikh with Bob Dole.

12. Loudly refers to pilot and co-pilot as "Opie" and "The Beav."

11. At the security checkpoint, her hip sets off the metal detector.

10. Replaces in-flight movie with racy story about how he and Amelia Earhart founded the Mile High Club.

9. As passengers deplane, forgets to say "bye" and just stands there saying "buh... buh... buh... buh... buh... buh..."

8. No matter what anda order, she serves up a nice warm glass of Bosco.

7. After demonstrating the oxygen mask, needs to keep it on.

6. Matches entire business class shot for shot.

5. Uses false teeth to prevent the Makanan cart, troli from rolling down the aisle.

4. Breaks wind so forcefully that the oxygen masks drop.

3. Requests that passengers refrain from using electronic devices such as Wurlitzers, Victrolas, and telegraphs.

2. Excitedly announces that the in-flight movie will be a "talkie."

1. Keeps getting Lost on the way to the cockpit.
posted by iLuvLouisCarrot
“So, Louis, the rumor’s true? Are anda really secretly dating someone?”
Diana asked,
I shuffled uncomfortably in my seat. It was all Harry’s fault. Everyone thought I was dating someone because he berkata that in the last interview we had.
For fucks sake, I didn’t know what the giddy aunt to say. I looked over at Harry, who was trying not to laugh.
“Yeah. Actually I am.”
It was a spur of the moment thing. I was just… errrggghhhhh.
The crowd gasped. Diana looked shocked. .
“Can anda tell us who it is?”
She asked. She literally shoved the microphone in my face.
“I would tell you,...
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posted by ThatDarnHippo
This a little something I wrote for my English class after we read The Modest Proposal. We had to write our own modest proposals on modern hari issues, and mine is on gay rights. It's short and to the point, so I won't be wasting too much of your time.
WARNING: some of the content may be offensive. Please realize that this is a satire (though I really do mean to offend people). Cinta atau hate me for it, I don't care. Enjoy.


A Modest Proposal
Discrimination has always been a problem in this country. Only 50 years lalu were blacks telah diberi the same rights as white people. Now, a big issue is discrimination...
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posted by xneville_rocksx
1. Know how to make anda smile when anda are down

2. Try to secretly smell your hair , but anda always notice.

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence .

4. Give anda the remote control during the game

5. Come up behind anda and put his arms around anda

6. Play with your hair .

7. His hands always find yours .

8. Be cute when he really wants something.

9. Offer anda plenty of massages

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork .

11. Never run out of Cinta .

12. Be funny , but know how to be serious

13. Realize he's being funny when he needs to be serious

14. Be patient when anda take...
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Preferably shouted.

"DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

YOU’RE SO FUCKING SLOW

AND FAT, WHAT DO anda WEIGH

HA-HA-HA-HA

anda CAN’T FUCKING SING

I’LL START A FUCKING FIGHT

GET OUT MY WAY anda HO

I’M DRIVING HERE TONIGHT

OH!

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY

OH WHAT FUN IT IS TO RIDE

OVER BODIES EVERY hari (HEY)

JINGLE BELLS, GO TO HELL

jalang, perempuan jalang WHAT DID I SAY

RUN THAT keldai CUZ anda CAN’T HIDE

FROM MY MOTHERFUCKING SLEIGH."

--

Happy Holidays~
added by crisy93
Source: Burdr
What I'm gonna post is something for fun. In other ways, we sometimes find that true between most of husbands and wives.


-A short conversation between husband and his wife.
Check out the first hari after the wedding.

Husband: Wow! finally my dream will come true.
Wife: Do anda want me to leave you?
Husband: Noo! don't say that again.
Wife: Do anda Cinta me?
Husband: Suuuure.
Wife: So, do anda think that one hari anda may leave me?
Husband: Of course not.
Wife: Okay, can anda Ciuman me *blushes*?
Husband: Of course, also on your face (cheek).
Wife: Do anda think that anda may punch me one day?
Husband: Noway.
Wife: Can I trust you?
Husband: yeah.
Wife: Darling.

-Now read the conversation from the below to the bahagian, atas in order to know what happened after one year.

Have fun. ;D
added by JohnnyD
posted by K5-HOWL
When life gives anda a hundred reasons to cry, tunjuk life that anda have a thousand reasons to smile. Be who anda are and say what anda feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind, For as we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You'll have your hati, tengah-tengah broken and you'll break others' hearts. You'll fight with your best friend atau maybe even fall in Cinta with them, and you'll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and Cinta like you've never been hurt. Life comes...
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added by JenniferxD
Source: Jennifer
added by ConnerandTravis
Source: Google
posted by Milorox18
Rules that guys wished girls knew..........

1. If anda think you're fat, anda probably are. Don't ask us.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up put it down.

3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.

4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see
if he can find the perfect present, again!

5. If anda ask a soalan anda don't want an answer to, expect an
answer anda don't want to hear.

6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it.

7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless anda are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks.

8. Get rid...
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(A/N) StIlL hAs GaYnEsS, cUsSiNg, AnD sEx! this part will be POV's of everyone -everyone being Adam Ty Jason and Jerome, in that order- and things that are happening to them in life and btw i need lebih ideas -im running out of them- would anyone be nice enough to komen one? atau many if anda have many. anyways thanks for Membaca this boring A/N and enjoy the real story! XxX


~Adam's POV~ (let's face it he needs one)

-minecraft partkour-

"Hey guys, today im here with Huskymudkipz, Bodil40, and MinecraftUniverse" I berkata starting my recording.

"Yeah let's go" Husky berkata starting the map.

"Wait up" Jason...
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posted by sarabeara
I originally got this in a forwarded text, and I thought I'd pass it along. The premise of it is just about girls and best Friends and how we're always there for each other no matter what.

Disclaimer: I did not create this! It's just a cute little poem I thought deserved to be shared :]


To my girls...
Here's to the shit we talk,
The guys we stalk,
The way we shop,
The laughs we can't stop.
The gossip we spill,
The looks that can kill.
To having each other's back,
Getting each other on the right track.
To the seterusnya morning gettin' all the facts.
Drownin' in beers,
Spillin' the tears.
We'll stay together through the years.
added by PoddoChan
Source: The Internet
added by SylarNight
Source: made sejak SylarNight