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posted by McDreamyluva
Here's the famous 'Best Divorce Letter' sejak Dan to Connie, pretty hilarious, definitely a must read! xD



Dear Connie,

I know the counselor berkata we shouldn't contact each other during our "cooling off" period, but I couldn't wait anymore.

The hari anda left, I swore I'd never talk to anda again but that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first on to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always anda who would come crawling back to me. I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I'm tired of pretending I don't miss you. I don't care about looking bad anymore. I don't care who makes the first alih as long as one of us does. Maybe it's time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt.

This is what my hati, tengah-tengah says "There's no one like you, Connie. I look for anda in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they're not you. They're not even close."

Two weeks lalu I met this girl at Flamingoes and brought her utama with me. I don't say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19 with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. F***ing like anda wouldn't believe and keldai that just wouldn't quite. Every man's dream, right?

As I sat on the sofa, kerusi panjang being blown sejak this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we've made important in our lives. It's all so superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but anda see what I'm getting at. Does it make her a better person? Does she have a better hati, tengah-tengah than my modestly attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I'd never really thought of that before. I don't know, maybe I'm just growing up a little.

Later, after I'd tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, "Why do I feel so drained and empty?" It wasn't just her flawless technique atau her suttee shameless hunger; but something also, some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn't feel the same because anda weren't there to watch. Do anda know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I'm just going crazy without you. And everything I do just reminds me of you.

Do anda remember Carol that singe mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped sejak last week with a pan of lasagna. She berkata she figured I wasn't eating right without a woman around. I didn't know what she meant till later; but that's no the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the seterusnya thing anda know we're banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart's a total monster in the sack. She's giving me everything, anda know, like a real woman does when she's not hung up about her weight atau her career and whether the kids can here us. And all of the sudden, she sports that tilting mirror on your grandmother's old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so we can watch ourselves and it's totally hot, but it makes e sad too because I can't help thinking "Why didn't Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We've had this old vanity for what, 14 years and we never used it as a sex toy."

Saturday your sister drops sejak with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vickie’s just a kid and all, but she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She's telah diberi me lots of good Nasihat about anda and about women in general. She's pulling for us to get back together. Connie, she really is.

So we're doing Jell-O shots in a hot bath and taking about happier times. Here's this teenage girl with the same DNA as anda and all I can do is think of how much she looks like anda when anda were 18. And that just about makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky's really into the whole oral thing, and that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured anda about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do anda see how even then, when I'm thrusting inside your baby sister's cinnamon ring all I can do is think of you? It's true Connie. In your hati, tengah-tengah anda must know it. Don't anda think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can. If anda feel the same please please please, let me know.

Otherwise, can anda let me know where the f***ing remote is?

Cinta Dan





link the link to the actual letter.
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Source: Not mine
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Source: Cyanide and Happiness
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Source: Made sejak TheLefteris24 !!!!
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posted by GDragon612
I can`t no lebih breathe
my wings are broken.
I feel the lonelineless inside me
my hati, tengah-tengah is bleeding
it breakes into million pieces
like a mirror
they cut in my skin.

anda told me
don`t forget me beautiful lady
and I say
I will never let anda gone
holding you
loving you
a feather flies around


I feel your warm hand on my neck
Ciuman anda my Angel boy
don`t fly away


written sejak swagkathi


on december the 18th Kim jonghyun is gone
he let a big hole in our hearts
we will loving anda forever and don`t forget anda
•ღ♥*—-*♥ღ•’´¯)•ღ♥*—-*♥ღ•’´¯)•ღ♥*—-*♥ღ•’´¯)

💝Rest in peace Jonghyun💝


•ღ♥*—-*♥ღ•’´¯)•ღ♥*—-*♥ღ•’´¯)•ღ♥*—-*♥ღ•’´¯)
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Source: Jirka Väätäinen
"How to Google something"

You already are, dumbass.

"Best Halloween costume ever made from bir cans"

There's recycling, then there's recycling.

"Which smells worse, dog, cat atau human urine?"

Does it REALLY even matter?

"Where do Lost socks go when they go missing?"

To heaven, where all the fallen remain to stay happy for the rest of their afterlives.

Who cares.

"What kind of pigs eat people?"

I ALWAYS KNEW THOSE PIGS WERE UP TO SOMETHING.

"How long does it take to drown an ant?"

A better soalan would be why do anda care.

"What do dead rats smell like?"

Chicken?

"Can cow saliva cure baldness?"

Some questions...
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