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How do I become sarcastic?
"I'm the Queen of sarcasm, anda don't just suddenly become sarcastic, it takes practice"


My house is on fire, what do I do?
"You get off the fuckin computer and go outside!"


My brother hasn't had his period:
"Yeah. It takes longer for boys"


What's an appropriate site for a 13 tahun old girl?
"Try Porn-Hub"


Can anda get pregnant from watching porn?
"Only on wednesdays"


Every time I drink alcohol I feel sad.
"Your not drinking ENOUGH of of it!"


I was having sex with my sister and got a cramp in my leg.
"YOU HAD SEX WITH YOUR SISTER!?"


Why are Bayi ugly at first?
"How about anda stay underwater 9-10 days, and squeeze though a straw, and see how anda look."


How do I become a Justin Bieber fan?
"You take a large blow to the head. Maybe jump off a cliff as a start."


Is is normal to be in Cinta with your dog?
"... anda need help"


Do anda Kucing know when your masterbating? I'm asking for a friend?
"Your friend needs to stop smoking so much weed"


Do they have toliet paper in Canada?
"Coarse not! We use the flag of whatever country your from"


Are their birds in Canada:
"Obviously anda never seen Alpha and Omega"


What happens if anda paint your teeth white with nail polish?
"You die!"


How do I test if my penyu is gay?
"you tunjuk it your penis, and see if it stares for lebih than 20 seconds"


Are there autographs of Jesus Christ?
"No, they were all turned into wine"


How does sex start?
"With human contact!"


How long can a little girl hold her breathe
"3 weeks"


How do I ask a soalan on Yahoo Answers?
"YOU JUST DID!!"


How do anda tell which side of the potato chip is saltier?
"Take it to McDonald's"


Do midgets have night vision?
"Only in Mexico"


Why is canada a selamat, peti deposit keselamatan country?
"Cause the mighty king angsa gives us Makanan to eat. And perverts say please ad thank after each rape.."


Every time I get masterbate, I get angry and throw my penyu against a wall"
"I don't think your masterbating in the RIGHT way"


Halloween falls on a Friday the 13th this tahun for the first time in 666 years. I’m totally stabbing someone.
"You two huh?"


The devil has five letters and so does weed:
"Good for you, here's a lollipop"


Why are Americans stupid?
"Cause they are close to Canada"


Why are ALL Americans obese, stupid and religious?
"Because ALL Canadians like hockey"


Is America planning to invade Vancouver?
"No, that's Japen"


Do they have trees in America?
"Coarse not, they sold them all for guns"


I caught my son having sex with another guy, I think he might me gay.
"You THINK he might be gay!?"


What another word for being wrong?
"Women"


Is it wrong too sertai a certain race?
"Not if anda ask the guys dressed as ghosts"


Why does my arm turn bright red when I'm eating dirt?
"Because your a fucking moron"


What's wrong with my boyfriend?
"He's dating you"


How do anda hide a boner?
"You get a girl to hide it in"


How did the cow milking routine get started?
"I'm guessing there was a cow molester.."


How do I know I'm really my kid's mother?
"Lord help this woman."


How do anda sertai Facebook.
"I want too be sarcastic.. But I struggled with this myself.. So I feel bad"


"Is evolution true? Why hasn't my dog become an elephant?
"Because he's not a pokeymon."


What happens to people burn on February?
"They get locked up in an asylum."


Why dose South Park make fun of Canada?
"Because they truly believe we are hillbillies living in igloos and all that.."


Why is Korn so awesome?
"Cause Chuck Norris materbates to their songs."
posted by luckyPink
hei guys i recently found out about some amazing Google features and thought to share it with anda guys. Google not only made our lives easy but made it full of fun. Well we all agree to that, don't we?

NOTE: I use Google Chrome so i don't if these also work on other sites.

Here are a few i like the most. Some of anda might already be familiar with them.

1. Do A Barrel Roll:

Type "Do a barrel roll" in the cari bar and tadaa Google will whirl. This ones a simple yet interesting one.

2. Google Gravity:

Ok for fist anda "have" to type Google.com. Then at the bottom anda will see settings. Go there and...
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added by Mollymolata
added by big-fat-meanie
added by big-fat-meanie
added by shaneoohmac13
added by 3xZ
Source: Jirka Väätäinen
added by 3xZ
added by Dreamtime
added by tanyya
posted by -SkySplitter-
I don't own any of these
_____________________________________________

1. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint?

A: Red paint.

2. Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

3. Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

4. A horse walked into a bar. Several people got up and left as they spotted the potential danger in the situation.

5. What do anda call a man with no arms and no legs water skiing?

I don't know,...
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added by Mike-Ro-Wave
added by 16falloutboy
Source: Me
I saw this elderly gentleman dining sejak himself, with an old picture of a lady in front of him. I though maybe I could brighten his hari sejak talking to him.

As I had assumed, she was his wife. But I didn't expect such an interesting story. They met when they were both 17. They dated briefly, then Lost contact when he went to war and her family moved. But he berkata he thought about her the entire war. After his return, he decided to look for her. He searched for her for 10 years and never dated anyone. People told him he was crazy, to which he replied “I am. Crazy in love”. On a trip to California,...
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hei there Nintendo peminat-peminat im making a new series based off Nintendos beloved characters from the super Mario series. If anda are interested click on my profil for lebih information. If not then read on maybe anda will get interested?

ENJOY :D made sejak one HUGE Nintendo peminat (SeeUV3 aka me)

merah jambu Yoshi (Main character)

Name: Marry-ann-Hato
Age: 13 1/2 (currently)
tarikh of birth: ( 2000,july 7th)
personality : Clumsy,kind,a bit too nice sometimes,blunt ,happy ,lovable

Likes: singing, Dancing,Performing,Drawing
Dislikes: Math,Science,Geography

Power Type: electro porter (power of technology and...
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video
added by selenagomezfan7
video
added by Gretulee
added by karlyluvsam
Source: tumbler
added by australia-101