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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the meja, jadual with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the susu carton.

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WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check atau charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a Televisyen set in her purse.
"So, do anda always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

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UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how anda can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out sejak the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.

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CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He jawapan that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minit later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the co unter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought anda were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store
to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco
and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ....... so does she.
(I figure this guy is the one on the susu carton!)

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WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and
neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WORDS

A husband read an artikel to his wife about how many words women use a day...
30,000 to a man's 15,000 .
The wife r eplied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

CREATION

A man berkata to his wife one day, "I don't know how anda can be
so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.
God made me beautiful so anda would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to anda !

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The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home
and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the seterusnya day, he would need his wife to wake him
at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
"Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left it where he knew she would find it.
The seterusnya morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him,
when he noticed a piece of paper sejak the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .


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My Site is Worth
posted by Aquarius18
1. Rawak ninjas will NOT jmup down from the sky and pull the fir alarm during math class. we aplogozie for this inconvenience.
2. ^Scratch that, not many epic things fall from the sky, except dead hawks.
3. Just Membaca about Hetalia: Axiz Powers on Wikipedia and you've seen the iParty with Victorious Episode, and as soon as anda read about Russia stalking China as a panda menanggung, bear anda recognized the reference, shoutin "All has become clear", you're insane.
4. If anda see Foamy the tupai flying around your science class, anda deserve an invisible cupcake.
5. If you've ever been at SCHOOL and locked...
continue reading...
1.When i want something now and they berkata they berkata not now i yell like a 5 tahun old sometime and they will do it

2.If i want to go somewhere and they berkata no i will ingore them sejak saying pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeee pretty preetty please and they berkata FINE

3.if i want to play a game atau go on the computer and they berkata no i will be cying atau just make them get scare from grabing a creppy thing =D

4.if i want to play with my sister with her friend and they berkata no i will berkata creepy thing to them like what if someone take anda away they will berkata ok scare >:D

5.if i dont want to go to school i will said...
continue reading...
posted by TruBerries
Yes, it is I, TruBerries. The one that always keeps it real whether anda want to hear it atau not. The one that can be too much real for anyone to handle and therefore, if anda can't handle atau stand the heat, get out the kitchen!

Now, it seems to me, that there's repeated soalan that are getting a lot of people irritated, but anda know, I've came to terms to decide NOT to answer the question(s) no matter how overrated they are. I must admit that I don't mind the 'What do anda think of me?' questions( well as long as anda don't put a personal foto up 'cause everyone could careless on what anda look...
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posted by yukikiyruu
i just read in this another club iwant u guys to see



From an e-mel I got.

"The Rules" from the male side

We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. I’m not saying I like them, but it’s only fair to present both sides.

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up. anda need it down. anda don’t hear us complaining about anda leaving it down.

3. Sunday sports: It’s like the full moon atau the changing of the tides. Let it be.

4. Crying is blackmail.

5. Breasts...
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1. anda grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
2. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
3. anda take foto-foto of yourself from ten feet away without using your camera’s auto-timer.
4. Your eyes stay open when anda sneeze.
5. anda don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
6. You’re elected "Employee of the Month" at Starbucks and anda don’t even work there.
7. anda spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
8. Your Kucing are named "Cream" and "Sugar."
9. anda can’t even remember your saat cup.
10. anda can jump-start your car without cables.


*** I didn't write this. i got it from link
i thought it was funny and wanted to share it***
posted by smileypop9
Something I did for fun cos I was bored...just getting my thoughts out lol! This is part 3. :DDDDDDDDD
----------------------

Reading. So that's what I'm going to write about now. I Cinta reading. It's fun, and it takes anda to a whole new world.
Don't anda hate it when someone on Fanpop writes: 'Me, reading? pffttt -_-' atau something along those lines on their profil page when they are asked for their kegemaran books? I know I do.
..
I mean, how can anda hate reading? anda read every day. You're Membaca now. So don't put 'I don't read' on your profil page, cos anda obviously do.
..

To those who don't...
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kabin for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Six: Beth

    I’m Bethany “Beth” Janice Renee Curtis Spotskey. I live with my parents, Jane and Bob Spotskey, my two brothers, Drew and Josh, my little sister, Samantha and my newborn baby sister, Caitlin.
    I have no boyfriend anymore thanks to Martin who I’d fallen in Cinta with. But, he’d broken my hati, tengah-tengah lebih than once. I was trying really hard to let him go, but it wasn’t working exactly.
    Anyways, we were at the market near “Key’s Bathing Wear”. The market was really big,...
continue reading...
posted by ShiningsTar542
Rebecca doesn't only want to be known for her unforgettable song “Friday” so she is going to do everything in her power to create a cool new album.

Yes indeed, Rebecca has become famous thanks to her annoying song Friday and has got a record deal for a Cd with five lebih songs, can anda believe it? :/

Rebecca, is known-for and hated for “Friday”, she has even berkata that she doesn't like the song....we're not sure we believe that.

So on her seterusnya CD Rebecca promises to have a lebih natural sound than in Friday, and that she, at least, will like her songs....it's amazing how much power the Internet has! It makes and breaks stars.

source: europapress
posted by smileypop9
Ok, so I have come to notice that 99% of people either HATE Justin Bieber, atau Cinta the crap outta him. Those 2 groups of people are at war with each other. It's kinda annoying.
Why do all the hate komen-komen have to be about Justin Bieber, don't haters have anything else to do in their lives?

Anyway, I don't hate Justin. I don't Cinta him either. I'm kinda in the middle. To me he is like a Rawak boy I just met on the streets.
I don't go around bashing him and his fans, I don't post hate komen-komen etc, but I don't post 'OMG I Cinta JB SOOOOOOOO MUCH' komen-komen either.
I'm just happy the guy got his...
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posted by smileypop9
I found this on www.funny.com, and it's kinda hilarious!! Can anda guess whose and what job it is?


You think your job sucks? Let me tell anda about the people I work with.
First, there's this supermodel wanna-be chick. Ok, I'll admit, she's pretty hot, but damn she is completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair atau putting on her makeup. She is extremely self centered and never considers the needs of anyone other than herself. She is dumber than a box of rocks and I find it surprising that she has enough brain power to breathe.
The seterusnya chick is exactly the opposite- she might even...
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kabin for the Summer
By: moolah
Chapter Two: Ella
    I’m totally convinced I have the best boyfriend in the entire world. He’s so sweet he bought me and all my Friends a kabin for the summer. “Zack, anda really didn’t need to do this!” I kept saying over and over again. It was no use, he was being all too sweet about it. “I know babe, but they ARE my Friends too.” He kissed my forehead then picked my bag up. He grinned and then threw the bag into the car we were taking. “Thanks, baby.” I said, and hopped into the passenger seat.
    When...
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kabin for the summer
By: moolah
Chapter One: Tori
Hi, I’m Tori Evans. I live with my parents-even though I just graduated from my High School-Saint Peters. I have a boyfriend named Laken whom I Cinta loads.
    I was at home, after graduation whenever my orange blackberry started to chirp, “You’re the reason why” a song that I put for my boyfriend. I answered, “Hey.” “Hi, Tori, guess what?” He asked. He sounded really excited. “What?” I asked giggling at his excitement. “Zack booked the cabin, for the 11 of us-ALL SUMMER!” He screamed into the phone....
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posted by yoj123
I was walking utama from walmart when a carrot fell from the sky and started talking to me then an air raid siren went off and flying pigs were dropping sausage rolls that blew up into smiley faces when they hit the ground then a ikan paus drove sejak in his sedan and berkata happy Halloween to me then micheal Jackson did the moonwalk on the moon with a cow.


I was like wow I went utama and played wit my xbox, PIE!

And a cat grew a ikan tail and swam away from a basketball

Watch out CHAINSAW MONKEY!


Gggggvgggghfgjsfkfxhjcbkfzhjvxhjxgjcftafhvcihgfxbvzgcdgfgvff
Always & Forever
By: moolah
Chapter One: Tuesdays
    
    Hi! My name is Naomi Locket. I am 15 years old and I have no parents. None! They died in a horrible car accident, but that’s all right sejak me, it gives me lebih time to spend with the hottest guy alive-Thomas Richards. He’s my boyfriend of 2 years. He has auburn hair and green eyes. But, the disadvantage of having a boyfriend, and being so close, is the often result-babies. Our daughter and son (twins), Jordyn(girl) and Emmett(boy) are about 6 months old. Jordyn is the most adorable little baby,...
continue reading...
posted by darkkhorn19
If anda have 3 quarters, 4 dimes, and 4 pennies, anda have $1.19. anda also have the largest amount of money in coins without being able to make change for a dollar.
The numbers '172' can be found on the back of the U.S. $5 dollar bill in the bushes at the base of the lincoln Memorial.

President Kennedy was the fastest Rawak speaker in the world with upwards of 350 words per minute.

In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.

Odontophobia is the fear of teeth.

The 57 on Heinz ketchup bottles represents the number of varieties of pickles the company...
continue reading...
posted by invadercalliope
Hi everyone this is the Invader Calliope show!
Time to talk about stuff!
Ok here are two perfect things that i love! Invader Zim and Anime!!
Ok i'm on team and 1 then Mellow then Near!
I do Cinta Misa though!
I Cinta beras balls!
Oh my fave number is 37!
I'm using my laptop!
I Cinta my cat!
I am feeling happy today!
I enjoy sweets!
I don't eat to much sweets i do eat my vegetables!
I Cinta the colors: kapur, limau nipis Green,Dark Purple,Cyber Blue,and Black!
I Cinta the Invader Zim sound track and the amazing singer gir!
Miss Carey: Here are your costumes for the play children. Come and see!
Ed: Is it my costume?
Miss Carey: Yes, it is.
Mady: Is this my dress? It's pretty.
Nicki: Here's my own angsa, swan costume. Look at my orange beak.
Miss Carey: You're the ugly duckling, Allex. Here anda are.
Allex: Thank you, Miss Carey.
Nicki: Let's put on our costumes!
Mady: Oh no! Look at my dress! It's much too lond.
Ed: My hat is too small. I look tidiculous.
Allex: I look lebih ridiculous than you. Look at my feet!
Miss Carey: Oh dear! Theey're much too big!
Nicki: And I haven't got any wings!
Ed: This play is a disaster!
Mady: First we've got thousands of scripts.
Allex: And now our costumes don't fit.
Nicki: What's next?
posted by ShiningsTar542
It can be hard at times, but for some girls it is no problem to be Friends with an ex.

The key is in how the relationship has ended. It's important that there is no anger and no one has cheated. If this is true for anda then it is lebih than possible that with a little time anda two can go back to being friends.

Friends and just friends. anda must be clear about what anda want. Sometimes when we pretend to want to be Friends with our ex, we are really looking to get back together. Sometimes this is what anda want and it works, but if it goes wrong then things will be even worse.

Give him space. If after some time apart anda still want to continue to spend time together without wanting to be a couple, then anda are ready to be Friends again!

-source: justjared T.V show<>
Hey everyone!!This is the story of the time I was at Wal-Mart with some Friends and the api, kebakaran alarm went off but nobody cared and a baby died!


So anyway me and my friend Gyrrrrrrlllllllll were at Wal-Mart stealing stuff when the api, kebakaran alarm went off.It was so funny cause nobody knew what to do.We were all just standing there not moving.It would have been lebih funny to anda if anda *had've been there.


*I don't even think this is a word!

The End.

Nevermind.Fanpop berkata this artikel is too short.Now what?That's all I had to say.Maybe if I say KITTENS!!!That will work.
"As I was sleeping on the tree, something suddenly tickled me. It wasn't like a bantal feather atau a back scratcher, but was lebih like a scaley tickle. As I giggled in my sleep, a tight squeeze suddenly brought my attention. As I woke up and looked around, I realized I was being trapped sejak a large python- a 20 ft long sucker at that!

I had no idea how this snake found me nor did I wanted to know why he caught me. The large seprent suddenly squeezed me tighter and tighter until my face turned dark purple. I was suffocating to my death. It would've been the end of the world for me. Luckly, the...
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