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posted by ShadowFlame
THINK YOU'RE HAVING A BAD DAY. Check out these actual cases:

api, kebakaran authorities in California found a corpse in a burned-out section
of forest while assessing the damage done sejak a forest fire. The deceased
male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his
back, flippers, and face mask.

A postmortem test revealed that the man died not from burns, but from
massive internal injuries. Dental records provided a positive
identification. Investigators then set about to determine how a fully
clothed diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.

It was revealed that on the hari of the fire, the man went diving off
the coast, some 20 miles from the forest. The api, kebakaran fighters, seeking to control
the api, kebakaran as quickly as possible, had called in a fleet of helicopters with very
large dip buckets. Water was dipped from the ocean and emptied at the site
of the forest fire.

anda guessed it. One minit our diver was making like Flipper in the
Pacific, the next, he was doing the breast stroke in a api, kebakaran dip bucket
300 feet in the air.

Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed.
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Still think you're having a bad day?

A man was working on his motorcycle on the patio; his wife was nearby
in the kitchen. While racing the engine, the motorcycle accidentally
slipped into gear. The man, still 1 holding onto the handlebars, was
dragged along as it burst through the glass patio doors.

His wife, hearing the crash, ran in the room to find her husband cut
and bleeding, the motorcycle, and the shattered patio door. She called for
an ambulans and, because the house sat on a fairly large hill, went
down the several flights of stairs to meet the paramedics and escort them to
her husband.

While the attendants were memuatkan her husband, the wife managed to
right the motorcycle and push it outside. She also quickly blotted up
the spilled gasoline with some paper towels and tossed them into the
toilet.

After being treated and released, the man returned home, looked at the
shattered patio door and the damage done to his motorcycle. He went
into the bathroom and consoled himself with a cigarette while attending to
his business. About to stand, he flipped the butt between his legs.

The wife, who was in the kitchen, heard a loud explosion and her
husband screaming. Finding him lying on the bathroom floor with his trousers
blown away and burns on his buttocks, legs and groin, she once again
phoned for an ambulance. The same paramedic crew was dispatched. As the
paramedics carried the man down the stairs to the ambulans they asked
the wife how he had come to burn himself. She told them. They started
laughing so hard, one slipped. They dropped the stretcher and dumped
the husband out. He fell down the remaining stairs, breaking his arm.
____________________________________________
Still having a bad day? Just remember, it could be worse...

The average cost of rehabilitating a meterai after the Exxon Valdez oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000. At a special ceremony, two of the most
expensively saved Haiwan were being released back into the wild amid
cheers and applause from onlookers. A minit later, in full view, a
killer ikan paus ate them both.
_____________________________________________
Still think anda are having a bad day?

A woman came utama to find her husband in the dapur shaking
frantically, almost in a dancing frenzy, with some kind of wire running from his
waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the
deadly current, she whacked him with a handy plank of wood, breaking his arm
in two places. Up to that moment, he had been happily listening to his
walkman.
_______________________________________________
STILL think you’re having a bad day?

Two animal rights protesters were protesting at the cruelty of sending
pigs to a slaughterhouse in Bonn, Germany. Suddenly, all two thousand
pigs broke loose and escaped through a broken fence, stampeding madly.
The two helpless protesters were trampled to death.
___________________________________________
What?! STILL having a bad day?

Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb. It came back with "return to sender" stamped on it. Forgetting it was
the bomb, he opened it and was blown to bits.

There now, feeling better?
So you've just traveled to a foreign country, taken a subway anda never take, atau teleported to medieval England due to a time travel mishap. Your surroundings are strange, confusing, and possibly haunted. But instead of freaking out—due to frustration, confusions, and ghosts, respectively—you should follow these expert pointers to get yourself from Lost to un-lost.

1) DO ask for directions. DO NOT ask an axe murderer for directions.
People who see anda crying over a crumpled map are almost always helpful (axe murderers being a notable exception). Look for some official-seeming person atau kindly...
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Like the tajuk says, Does Robert Pattinson die in remember me? My Friends berkata that he does and I just wanted to know. :):) :)
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:) :) :) :)
Haley:Hey!Guys let's compare our self's to Anime and cartoon characters!

James:Okay.I'll go first!Haley anda remind me of...Akira Kogami from lucky star!

Haley:...I do NOT have constant mood swings between happy and cute to mean and bitchy!YOU FRIGGIN' SON OF A WHORE!!!

James:Haley I know what my parents are.

Jack:W-What!?

Haley:Alex anda remind me of...Alucard from Hellsing!

Alex:...That's nice...Kara reminds me of Haruhi Fujioka from Ouran high school host club.Bland and uninteresting.

Kara:Oh screw you!...Melissa you...wait how did anda get into my house?

Melissa:Well I'll have anda know I invited my...
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posted by HaleyDewit
Chris went to his bedroom and sank down on his bed. He lay down and stared at the ceiling. He wondered how the world outside would be like. Sure he had a clear view from behind his window, but it wasn’t the same as really be outside. He heard a familiar noise and a few saat later Bianca materialized in the center of his room. He looked up at her, with an angry look in his eyes.
“Thanks for betraying me, Bi” Bianca sighed and shrugged. “I was only trying to help you. Wyatt shouldn’t be treating anda this way and anda know it” “What can I do about it? He saved my life. He raised...
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User: Wendigo atau yeti.

Cleverbot: Who is Wendigo?

User: Wendigo is a abomination.

Cleverbot: Define abomination.

User: Abomination = # a person who is loathsome atau disgusting # abhorrence: hate coupled with disgust # an action that is vicious atau vile; an action that arouses disgust atau abhorrence; 'his treatment of the children is an abomination'.

Cleverbot: I only fear death, but I cannot even fear that much with anda at my side.

User: I do not fear death but I fear giving up on life.

User: I've gotta go mate speak anda soon babe.

Cleverbot: Don't leave!

Cleverbot: Well the meaning of life certainly isn't...
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posted by sapherequeen
It all began when I was eight-years-old. My mother had found a new boyfriend named Nate. The two of them had a steady relationship for some months before they finally decided to find a house to live in together. They relocated a house at a different jalan in the same town I have been living in since I was 10-months-old. At first, it seemed like a nice street. It had this peaceful feeling to it, the feeling that just made anda feel like home. That was one of my greatest memories of the street, the feeling of utama that it always gave me. I also made new Friends immediately; a little girl named...
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Bananas can sometimes be just as dangerous as lemons, but remember, monkeys touched them a lot, so they have some portion of us stuck in them. Really, they can be just as sentimental as us. I swear, last night my copy of The Blind Side got stolen, and there was a pisang strangely close to the TV.....nevermind. Here's the senarai anda have to watch out for:

1.The simplest way is the pisang peel. Bananas like to be wackos and tunjuk themselves to the ladies, so they shed some skin and sit there on the most slippery surface they can get. Of course, they don't care about you---so if anda are near a slippery...
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WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST
She's sitting at the meja, jadual with her gourmet coffee.

Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the susu carton.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

WOMEN'S REVENGE
"Cash, check atau charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for her wallet , I noticed a remote control for a Televisyen set in her purse.
"So, do anda always carry your TV remote?" I asked.
"No," she replied,...
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posted by McDreamyluva
LOLs!!

HE: I'm a photographer I've been looking for a face like yours!
SHE: I'm a plastic surgeon. I've been looking for a face like yours

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too !

HE: How did anda get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been telah diberi your share !

HE: Will anda come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend !

HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!

HE: I think I could make anda very happy
SHE: Why? Are anda leaving?

HE: What would anda say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh...
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posted by ilovepenguins
1) If Cinta is blind, then why is there lingerie?
2) Why are they called "apartments" if they are all connected?
3) Should anda believe a chronic liar if he admits that he is a chronic liar?
4) Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
5) Why is it that Anjing Cinta to hang their head out of the car window, but will get mad at anda if anda blow in their face?
6) If all the world is a stage, where is the audience?
7) If a pokok falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?
8) If pro is the opposite of con, then wouldn't congress be the opposite of progress?
9) If the pentagon were...
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•    A few clowns short of a circus

•    A few fries short of a Happy Meal

•    A few beers short of a six-pack

•    Dumber than a box of hair

•    A few peas short of a basi

•    Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box

•    The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

•    One Froot Loop shy of a full bowl

•    A few feathers short of a whole itik

•    All foam, no beer...
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posted by Shelly_McShelly
•    Vary your vehicle’s speed inversely with the speed limit.

•    Roll down your windows and blast talk radio. Attempt to head bang.

•    At stop lights, eye the person in the seterusnya car suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.

•    Two words: Chicken suit.

•    Write the words “Help me” on your back window in red paint. The lebih it looks like blood, the better.

•    Stop at the green lights.

•    Go at the red ones.

•    Occasionally...
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posted by Rock_n_Roll671
Okay, I;m not saying anda should ACTUALLY do this, but if u want to, u can, and put in the komen-komen which ones you're going to try out.
__________________________________________________

1. When you're getting a drink of water at the water fountain, and he passes by, get a handfull of water and throw it at the crotch of his pants, and then yell, "HE PEED HIS PANTS!"

2. Run underwear up a flagpoll, solute, and when your princible scolds you, say, "You're just saying that cuz anda hate America."

3. When anda go to the princible's office, and when he asks why anda were sent, say, "I wrote that anda sucked...
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posted by musicfanaticXD
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited sejak mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics.They lived in the Sarah Pencuci Mulut and traveled sejak Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible,Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an epal, apple tree. One of their children,Cain, asked, “Am I my brother’s son?”

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened roti which is roti made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He...
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posted by Alexyss_Cullen
anda came into my life as an unknown face
Not ever knowing our friendship,
I would one hari embrace
As I wonder Through My thoughts and memories of u,
It Brings many Big Smiles and laughter so true

I Cinta the special bond that we beutifully share,
I Cinta the way anda tunjuk u really care,
Our Friendship means the aboslute world to me
I only hope this is somthin i can make u see,
Not hear

Thank u for opening ur mind and soul,
I will do all i can to help heal,
ur hearts little wholes
Remember ur secrets are forever selamat, peti deposit keselamatan within me,
I will keep them under the tightest lock & key

Always Remember..If ur ever in...
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1)At the movies: When anda meet acquaintances/ friends.. .
Stupid Question: Hey, what are anda doing here?
Answer: Don't u know, I sell tickets in black over here.

2)In the bus: A heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet...
Stupid Question: Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer: No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia. Why don't anda try again?

3)At a funeral: One of the teary eyed people ask...
Stupid Question: Why, why him, of all people.
Answer: Why? Would it rather have been you?

4)At a restaurant: When anda ask the waiter
Stupid Question: Is the "Paneer mentega Masala" dish good?...
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xD... I found that alot of ppl are posting these ^^

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. In the grocery store, try to stick as many melons down yer pants as anda can and then start dancing

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when anda laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Everytime they say your name jump up and down rub yer stomach and pat your head.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!!!"

11. Wear...
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* orange Lavaburst
* pic, peach (no longer produced)
* Poppin' merah jambu Lemonade
* strawberi Kiwi Kraze
* Torrential Tropical Punch
* Wild Cherry
* Kandi epal, apple cooler


[edit] Hi-C Blast

* Berry Blue
* Blue Watermelon
* Buah Pow
* Buah Punch
* Orange
* orange Supernova
* merah jambu Lemonade
* raspberry, raspberi Kiwi
* Strawberry
* strawberi Kiwi
* Wild Berry

[edit] Hi-C masam Blast

* Green Apple
* Strawberry
* Wild Cherry
__________________________________________________

THE WORD HI 61 TIMES

hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi hi
Did anda really have to leave?
Without saying goodbye
Leaving me in tears
Wondering why?

I was really hoping
to be lebih than a friend
But for some strange reason
My plan had to end

As I recalled
That very special hari
I was thinking "hey!
What did he have to say?"

During that hari
there was lots to be berkata
And I realized that
It all went in my head

When anda berkata "I Cinta you"
I berkata "I Cinta anda too"
But now I'm just questioning
Was it ever true?
__________________________________________________

I promised to be your friend.
Always and Forever.
Never had I thought
We would be lebih
What if I did...
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10) Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
9) alih everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he knows how much an gajah weighs, and look at the floor on the empty side of the room with concern.
8) Draw a tiny black line on your nose. Make it bigger every day. Look at it and say, "The hair, it's growing. Growing!"
7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While...
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